Here’s a Happiness Tip which might be helpful for some of you out there. Always live with a sense of hope but don’t rely on it or use it as an excuse for inaction.

So often in life do people communicate things such as “I’m hoping for the best,” or “I hope I don’t lose my job,” or “I hope my finances will work out,” or “I hope my relationship or marriage will work out,” or “I hope I get this job or can get into this training or education program.” Anytime someone communicates these kinds of things to me, I might respond with something like: “Are you really going to rely on hope for that? Because, being hopeful is probably not going to make things happen or make things better. So, what I really want to know is what you are going to do about it.” Because even though it’s nice to live with a sense of hope, it is not helpful or empowering to rely or count on hope or use it as an excuse for not doing something. A better approach is moving from hope to action.

The following are examples of empowering ways to do this:

• Instead of just hoping for the best, take steps to make things better.

• Instead of hoping you won’t lose your job (for whatever reason), investigate any problem areas and come up with solutions for addressing them (in an active and iterative fashion) and take steps to make yourself so valuable to your employer that it would be foolish to let you go or allow you to get into the hands of competitors.  

• Instead of merely hoping your finances will work out, actively investigate and adjust your spending habits, develop a budget which better ensures you pay down your debts and accumulate savings every month, and live with a sense of discipline from week-to-week and month-to-month so that your finances improve and create the financial security you desire.

• Instead of hoping your relationship or marriage will work out, take steps to become the best boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife through mindful appreciation, kindness, consideration, understanding, support, and thoughtfulness and making the other person feel special, loved, valued, and secure each and every day.

• Instead of hoping that you get a certain job, actively research the company to determine what their values, interests, focuses, initiatives, and products and services are (as well as what is important to them), find out the latest news stories associated with the company, and be prepared to demonstrate your knowledge of the company in these regards and show how your values, skills, and experience can benefit the company to ensure you are viewed as a highly qualified and highly desired candidate for employment.

• Instead of hoping you can get into a given training or education program, do some research and take steps to ensure you have a pretty good chance of getting into the program you desire.

Each of these are ways in which to empower yourself by taking actions instead of relying on hope to get you to where you want to be. Because, in most cases, hope alone won’t get you there. But hope combined with action might. Be sure to always remember this.  So, continue living with a sense of hope but don’t rely on it or use it as an excuse for not taking steps towards improvement, progress, or success. And although nothing is guaranteed, living in this fashion greatly improves the likelihood of improvement, progress, and success. Thus, you will realize many more “wins” and “gains” over the months, years, and decades of your life if you operate in this fashion.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #mindfulness #peace #love #relationships #discipline #balance #joy #optimism #positivethinking

Here’s a Happiness Tip which might be helpful for some of you out there regarding present-mindedness and why it can be detrimental at times.

So often in life we are encouraged to “live in the moment,” “be present,” and “seize the day!” (i.e., “carpe diem!”) – among other, similar, popular kinds of expressions. And while living in this fashion can be helpful at times for easing worries, distress, and negativity, and creating a momentary sense of peace and enjoyment, there are also times when it can do more harm than good. Especially, during those times when we fall victim to temptations, addictions, compulsions,  distractions (TACDs), and procrastination.

Years ago I had a computer game addiction. It seemed fun and exhilarating in the micro moment-to-moment but when “zooming out” to the more macro level, I realized after playing such games all night – every night – that these kinds of activities were consuming my life to the point where they created extensive stress, fatigue, anxiety, and a lack of performance and progress in other areas of my life. Many temptation, addiction,  compulsion, distraction, and procrastination challenges do the same. Several examples come to mind:

• spending money “seizing the day!” – every day – so there is nothing put towards the future,
• drugs, alcohol, and other kinds of temptations and addictions,
• anything which consumes more of life than one might like such as sports, social media, information or media content, television, social activities, money related obsessions, the internet, video games, cleaning, sex, work (in the case of workaholics), or activities (in the case of “doaholics”), and
• anything and everything delayed or avoided due to procrastination.

Living in the moment – or a day at a time – can seem a pleasure paradise for anyone experiencing challenges such as the above because living in this fashion can lead people to believe they are living happy, successful, productive lives when – in actuality – they are not.

“How can you tell?” someone might ask. Well, one thing you can do is “zoom out” and examine your overall life from time to time. When doing this, ask yourself something like: “Am I progressing towards longer term happiness and success in my work, relationships, activities, goals, and my life overall?” If you’re not, then you might be falling victim to a “live in the moment” or “carpe diem!” mentality. Such a mentality can be a great excuse for taking detours and not moving forward in life but will never get you to where you desire to go over the longer term. Ask any addict, procrastinator, or exuberant spender.

A good way to address TACD and procrastination challenges is taking steps to moderate or eliminate anything which might be holding you back or consuming more of your life than you might like. Let’s take the computer games addiction above as an example. One way to moderate such an activity might be to limit participation such that you allow yourself to only play computer games on Wednesday and Friday nights from 8:00 pm to 11:00 pm. In my case, I elected to eliminate computer games completely. However, I could have simply limited my participation in these kinds of activities.

Some of the above TACD and procrastination challenges can be handled by simply moderating them while others – such as more severe addictions – might need to be eliminated completely. Do what works best for you or those you are providing assistance to.

Now, while it can certainly be helpful at times to “live in the present,” for easing periods of worry, distress, and negativity, and for creating a momentary sense of peace and enjoyment in life, there are also times when it can do more harm than good. So, get into the practice of “zooming out” and examining your overall life from time to time to ensure you are progressing towards the longer term happiness, harmony, and success you truly desire in life and taking steps to address any problem areas you find along the way. What a wonderful life you (and others) will create and share if you live in this fashion.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #mindfulness #peace #love #relationships #discipline #balance #joy #optimism #positivethinking