relationships

HAPPINESS/SUCCESS TIP: IF YOU WANT A BRIGHTER FUTURE, THEN INVEST IN IT… AND THIS IS ABOUT SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST MONEY

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

In order to achieve longstanding happiness and success in life and to create the brighter future and the life you really, really want, you must be willing to make short-term sacrifices in order to create your most desired longer-term future – and anything and everything that might include for you (and others in your life). And this is about so much more than just money.

Do you want to live a long and healthy life so you can spend more quality time with those you love and appreciate, create memorable experiences, and live a life full of freedom, peace, and independence for the remaining years and decades of your life? Well, then you probably need to mindfully invest in yourself by engaging in fitness activities and making healthy lifestyle choices. Sure, it might seem a bit painful and time consuming right now, but like most investments, it will really pay off over the longer term.

Do you have a dream that you really want to achieve or a cause where you really want to make a difference? Well, then you probably need to mindfully invest by performing the research, gaining the skills, and defining and taking the steps needed to achieve that. Sure, it might seem a bit painful right now, in terms of all the time and effort you might have to put in but, again, like most investments, it will really pay off in the long run.

Are there people in your life you would like to strengthen your relationships with or have you a strong desire to create a future relationship with a special someone? Well, then you probably need to mindfully invest by creating the balance you need in life so that you can mindfully participate in those relationships and take steps towards creating new relationship(s). Sure, things might seem a bit distant and awkward right now, but if you take regular, consistent steps to participate more in the relationships which matter most to you and position yourself for creating new relationships then, again, like most investments, it can really pay off over the longer term.

Do you want to achieve a sense of financial freedom in your life? Well, then you probably need to mindfully invest by getting in the practice of automatically saving 20% of everything you earn, developing and living with a sense of financial discipline, and learning how to invest and manage your money. Sure, you might not be able to live that exciting, lavish lifestyle filled with luster, experiences, and adventure right now but, again, like most investments, it will really pay off over the long run.

Are there any life experiences you really want for yourself? Well, then you probably need to mindfully invest by defining and taking steps to achieve that. Sure, it might seem a bit painful right now, in terms of all the time and effort you might have to put in but, again, like most investments, it will really pay off over the longer term.

And the above are just five broad categories of investment kinds of examples. There are several others we could come up with.

Lastly, don’t forget about the cross effects. For example, if you live an unhealthy lifestyle, do you suppose that could affect your finances, your relationships in terms of your abilities to inspire and actively participate, and the energy you have available to put towards the dreams you desire to achieve, the life experiences you would like to have, or the causes you would like to make a difference in? You better believe it might.

So, invest in yourself and invest in your future. And start today. Get in the practice of making all of the small sacrifices needed today, tomorrow, and all along the way so that you can achieve the brighter future you really, really want.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books…/

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #mindfulness #peace #investment #love #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: LIVE WITH A SENSE OF HOPE BUT DON’T RELY ON IT

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a Happiness Tip which might be helpful for some of you out there. Always live with a sense of hope but don’t rely on it or use it as an excuse for inaction.


So often in life do people communicate things such as “I’m hoping for the best,” or “I hope I don’t lose my job,” or “I hope my finances will work out,” or “I hope my relationship or marriage will work out,” or “I hope I get this job or can get into this training or education program.” Anytime someone communicates these kinds of things to me, I might respond with something like: “Are you really going to rely on hope for that? Because, being hopeful is probably not going to make things happen or make things better. So, what I really want to know is what you are going to do about it.” Because even though it’s nice to live with a sense of hope, it is not helpful or empowering to rely or count on hope or use it as an excuse for not doing something. A better approach is moving from hope to action.


The following are examples of empowering ways to do this:

  • Instead of just hoping for the best, take steps to make things better.
  • Instead of hoping you won’t lose your job (for whatever reason), investigate any problem areas and come up with solutions for addressing them (in an active and iterative fashion) and take steps to make yourself so valuable to your employer that it would be foolish to let you go or allow you to get into the hands of competitors.  
  • Instead of merely hoping your finances will work out, actively investigate and adjust your spending habits, develop a budget which better ensures you pay down your debts and accumulate savings every month, and live with a sense of discipline from week-to-week and month-to-month so that your finances improve and create the financial security you desire.
  • Instead of hoping your relationship or marriage will work out, take steps to become the best boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife through mindful appreciation, kindness, consideration, understanding, support, and thoughtfulness and making the other person feel special, loved, valued, and secure each and every day.

  • Instead of hoping that you get a certain job, actively research the company to determine what their values, interests, focuses, initiatives, and products and services are (as well as what is important to them), find out the latest news stories associated with the company, and be prepared to demonstrate your knowledge of the company in these regards and show how your values, skills, and experience can benefit the company to ensure you are viewed as a highly qualified and highly desired candidate for employment.

  • Instead of hoping you can get into a given training or education program, do some research and take steps to ensure you have a pretty good chance of getting into the program you desire.


Each of these are ways in which to empower yourself by taking actions instead of relying on hope to get you to where you want to be. Because, in most cases, hope alone won’t get you there. But hope combined with action might. Be sure to always remember this.  So, continue living with a sense of hope but don’t rely on it or use it as an excuse for not taking steps towards improvement, progress, or success. And although nothing is guaranteed, living in this fashion greatly improves the likelihood of improvement, progress, and success. Thus, you will realize many more “wins” and “gains” over the months, years, and decades of your life if you operate in this fashion.


This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #mindfulness #peace #love #relationships #discipline #balance #joy #optimism #positivethinking

HAPPINESS TIP – LIVING IN THE MOMENT CAN BE DETRIMENTAL AT TIMES… HERE’S WHY:

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a Happiness Tip which might be helpful for some of you out there regarding present-mindedness and why it can be detrimental at times.

So often in life we are encouraged to “live in the moment,” “be present,” and “seize the day!” (i.e., “carpe diem!”) – among other, similar, popular kinds of expressions. And while living in this fashion can be helpful at times for easing worries, distress, and negativity, and creating a momentary sense of peace and enjoyment, there are also times when it can do more harm than good. Especially, during those times when we fall victim to temptations, addictions, compulsions,  distractions (TACDs), and procrastination.

Years ago I had a computer game addiction. It seemed fun and exhilarating in the micro moment-to-moment but when “zooming out” to the more macro level, I realized after playing such games all night – every night – that these kinds of activities were consuming my life to the point where they created extensive stress, fatigue, anxiety, and a lack of performance and progress in other areas of my life. Many temptation, addiction,  compulsion, distraction, and procrastination challenges do the same. Several examples come to mind:

  • spending money “seizing the day!” – every day – so there is nothing put towards the future,
  • drugs, alcohol, and other kinds of temptations and addictions,
  • anything which consumes more of life than one might like such as sports, social media, information or media content, television, social activities, money related obsessions, the internet, video games, cleaning, sex, work (in the case of workaholics), or activities (in the case of “doaholics”), and
  • anything and everything delayed or avoided due to procrastination.

Living in the moment – or a day at a time – can seem a pleasure paradise for anyone experiencing challenges such as the above because living in this fashion can lead people to believe they are living happy, successful, productive lives when – in actuality – they are not.

“How can you tell?” someone might ask. Well, one thing you can do is “zoom out” and examine your overall life from time to time. When doing this, ask yourself something like: “Am I progressing towards longer term happiness and success in my work, relationships, activities, goals, and my life overall?” If you’re not, then you might be falling victim to a “live in the moment” or “carpe diem!” mentality. Such a mentality can be a great excuse for taking detours and not moving forward in life but will never get you to where you desire to go over the longer term. Ask any addict, procrastinator, or exuberant spender.

A good way to address TACD and procrastination challenges is taking steps to moderate or eliminate anything which might be holding you back or consuming more of your life than you might like. Let’s take the computer games addiction above as an example. One way to moderate such an activity might be to limit participation such that you allow yourself to only play computer games on Wednesday and Friday nights from 8:00 pm to 11:00 pm. In my case, I elected to eliminate computer games completely. However, I could have simply limited my participation in these kinds of activities.

Some of the above TACD and procrastination challenges can be handled by simply moderating them while others – such as more severe addictions – might need to be eliminated completely. Do what works best for you or those you are providing assistance to.

Now, while it can certainly be helpful at times to “live in the present,” for easing periods of worry, distress, and negativity, and for creating a momentary sense of peace and enjoyment in life, there are also times when it can do more harm than good. So, get into the practice of “zooming out” and examining your overall life from time to time to ensure you are progressing towards the longer term happiness, harmony, and success you truly desire in life and taking steps to address any problem areas you find along the way. What a wonderful life you (and others) will create and share if you live in this fashion.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/


#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #mindfulness #peace #love #relationships #discipline #balance #joy #optimism #positivethinking

Happiness Is Easy: A Simple Guide For Creating Greater Joy, Inspiration, and Positivity In Life

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article presents a wonderful way in which to create greater joy, inspiration, and positivity in life by regularly performing assessments, reflecting on these, and making adjustments accordingly such that you begin to fill more of your time with that which promotes a sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life and less with that which does not. This includes the tasks, chores, and work that you perform, the people that you spend your time with, and the activities that you engage in. By mindfully evaluating and reflecting upon these areas of your life, on a regular basis, you will be able to readily determine which of these aspects promote a sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life and which do not. For those aspects that do you will want to mindfully and intentionally fill more of your time with these. For those aspects which do not you will want to either find creative ways in which to make these aspects more positive in nature or seek to remove yourself from or minimize your participation in these.

Concerning ways in which to modify aspects such that they become more positive in nature, one example might be related to work. For example, if the work that you regularly perform tends to be somewhat boring in nature then you might seek ways in which to make the work more interesting. One way to do this might be to seek to gain knowledge or develop skills which might serve to benefit you both at work and outside of work or provide transferrable knowledge and skills to other types of work that you might have greater interest in. Concerning aspects which you cannot modify or moderate in some fashion then you might seek to distance yourself from or minimize your participation in these. For example, if select individuals that you regularly spend your time with tend to create drama and negativity in your life, then you might want to mindfully and intentionally create distance, or remove yourself completely, at least until that point in time where you can be in the presence of these individuals and remain unaffected. Frequently, people will continue to maintain relationships with others even when they are negative, hurtful, unhealthy, or detrimental in nature. Don’t do this to yourself. It can sap your energy and fill you with negative thoughts and feelings. A better way to proceed is to mindfully evaluate your relationships, from time to time, and participate more in those that tend to be positive in nature and less in those which are not. This goes for all types of relationships to include romantic partners, friendships, family members, co-workers, and acquaintances.

Each of these are examples of ways in which to progress towards living a happier life: filling more of your life with the positive and removing or distancing yourself from that which tends to be negative in nature. By mindfully, intentionally, and incrementally progressing towards the positive and away from the negative you will develop a greater sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life. And this will feel wonderful. And this will energize and motivate you. And this will benefit not only yourself, but also others who surround you. How much joy, inspiration, and positivity can you stand? Well, you will soon find out as soon as you begin to live your life in this fashion. Yes, happiness is easy. You just have to mindfully, intentionally, and incrementally take the steps to get you there. Make it your lifelong goal to regularly fill more of your time doing that which brings you happiness and less doing that which does not. Remain ever mindful of this over the days, weeks, months, and years of your life. In doing so, you will create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the joy, inspiration, and positivity you can possibly imagine. You can start creating this life today. So, do this for yourself if you can. And if you need any help with this you know who to ask.

This article describes one way in which to create greater joy, inspiration, and positivity in life by putting more time and energy towards the positive aspects and less time and energy towards the negative aspects. I hope that some of you will find this article to be informative, helpful, and inspirational. To date I’ve written several articles related to creating and living a happier life. Click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) if you would like to read some of these other articles for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in life if you think they might be helpful to you or to others in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

For those that do not know, I perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that soon I will write an article which will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC

Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with either of the two primary areas that I actively perform life coaching in. You can learn more about each of these areas by clicking on the menu, footer, and sidebar items.

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

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Creating Healthy Boundaries in Relationship Situations

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article is about not only following your heart in relationship situations, but also about mindfully approaching such situations with thought, logic, and reason such that you create and maintain appropriate boundaries when needed. Recently, a series of my life coaching sessions focused on helping someone sort through a personal relationship situation. She had been dating a guy for several months who had always expressed great affection towards her when they spent time together but much to her dismay he, towards the end of that period of time, commented on how much he appreciated her “friendship”.

Now, one thing I frequently tell people, when it comes to personal relationship situations, is that it’s okay to listen to your heart so long as you balance this out, from time to time, with thought, logic, and reason. In other words, feel free to follow your heart to some degree but also keep your eyes open and put some thought into, and reflect upon, your relationship situation from time to time. If someone appears to be discounting or downgrading the relationship that you thought was progressing towards something more formal and less casual, from your perspective, then you must love and respect yourself enough to treat the relationship, and the other person for that matter, differently.

This does not necessarily mean you must end the relationship but that you must decide what works for you in the more casual type of relationship and create the boundaries you need for this relationship “type”. If you decide to proceed towards a more casual relationship, such as a friendship or casual dating situation, then you must make sure you become mindful about whether the other person is respecting your boundaries or not. If not, then you might need to consider ending the relationship until the other party is ready for a more formal relationship with you. Some people do not like casual relationships with certain others and thus the only “healthy” solution for them is to end the relationship completely. Everyone is different. You must do what works for you for whatever relationship situation you are in.

In this particular situation, there was more to the story. The guy had a long distance friendship with another woman but later came to the conclusion that he wanted to pursue a formal long distance relationship with her. So, the next session focused on that. At any point in a relationship situation where such a “decision” is made you must do at least two things: 1) Respect that decision (and yourself for that matter), and perhaps more importantly, 2) Ensure the decision maker has to live with the consequences of that decision until the time that the person decides to re-decide – which could be anything from developing a casual or perhaps no form of relationship with you at all depending on what you can or cannot live with out of love and respect for yourself. The point being that if the “decision maker” never has to live with the consequences of a decision, then the person has no incentive or motivation to ever consider making a different decision at some point in time. One which might involve wanting to be exclusively with you if you still happen to be interested and available at the time.

The above describes one way to mindfully create healthy boundaries in relationship situations by using thought, logic, and reason where needed. I hope that some of you who experience similar struggles will find this to be helpful in living a happier life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life