relationship

HAPPINESS/SUCCESS TIP: GET IN THE PRACTICE OF ENGAGING IN PRODUCTIVE INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS INSTEAD OF NONPRODUCTIVE ONES

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a Happiness/Success Tip which can be helpful not only in your work, but also in your life outside of work: Get in the practice of engaging in productive interactions with others instead of nonproductive ones. This involves not only verbal discussions but also communications via social media and other forms of communication.

A good first step in doing this involves evaluating the interactional/conversational environment before engaging to ensure the setting is constructive and that it’s a convenient time for everyone involved. The only productive interactions/conversations to have with people are those which are done in good faith in which each of the parties are feeling positive and are interested, curious, open, truly want to listen, and desire to explore, investigate, gather information, learn something new, improve relationships, or gain a different perspective or a new understanding.

Engaging in interactions/conversations with argumentative people or those who are emotionally charged, not feeling their best, or enjoy provoking emotional responses are usually not very productive. So, in those situations, it is probably better to wait until the circumstances are such that they can be productive. Otherwise, they can just create a lot of negative energy without accomplishing much.

Always take a soft approach, be respectful, and ask permission of those you wish to interact or converse with. So, instead of saying something like: “We need to talk now!” and cornering or invading a person’s space and using the time as an emotional dumping ground, ask something like:”Can we talk about ‘X’,” or “Is now a good time to talk?” If the interaction/conversation involves sharing worries or fears, do so without blaming those you are having the discussion with.

The above are some of the reasons that self-care is so very important so that you always show up presenting your “best self.” And here’s a post I wrote about this: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/how-to-defeat…/

The above ideas were formulated from an inspirational podcast I listened to today on the Good Life Project which featured Alex Jamieson and Bob Grower as guests: https://www.goodlifeproject.com/…/alex-jamieson-bob…/

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: KEEP HEALTHY, MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS AND DISCARD THE REST

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Kindness, respect, and appreciation are critical aspects for relationships to be successful.  Keep in mind that any forms of hostility (verbal or otherwise) are none of these: (1) they are unkind, (2) they are disrespectful,  and (3) they lack appreciation and are actually the opposite of appreciation. So, anytime you experience these kinds of hostilities, reflect on it and have a serious  discussion about the way you will treat each other in the future. It always has to be kind, respectful, and appreciative in nature for the relationship to work. Otherwise, it is unhealthy and you might need to reconsider the relationship. This goes not only for romantic relationships but for other relationships as well such as friends, family members, co-workers, and such.

If you take the above steps, you will create healthy, loving, and meaningful relationships in your life and clear your clutter of any unhealthy relationships over time. And you will live increasingly happier and have people in your life that you value and who value you. So, do this for yourself. What a wonderful life you will create for yourself if you take these steps.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE VALUE OF TRUST

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One of the more difficult things to do in life is to build trust. It’s far easier to break trust than to build trust. But it’s also much easier to build trust than to repair trust.

So, never underestimate the value of trust. Trust is important for all types of relationships including romantic relationships, friendships and family, and work and community relationships. So, if you want to live a happy and peaceful life, make it your goal to live with a sense of discipline and commitment such that you avoid breaking trust.

The reason why it’s so difficult to repair trust once it has been broken is you have to develop not only a track record of trust and a consistent positive change in behavior but an OBSERVED, DEMONSTRATED, and PROVEN track record in the minds of those you are seeking to repair trust with – people who already have doubts about you and may have a lot of trouble believing your good intentions. This doubt and negative bias can be extremely difficult to overcome. So, do yourself a favor and put forth your best efforts to live a disciplined life and maintain a sense of trust. If you do this, your life will be much easier, happier, and more peaceful.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: LIVE WITHOUT REGRETS OF WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way to live happier is taking steps to better ensure you live without regrets. This essentially involves taking chances: taking chances on people, taking chances on opportunities, and taking chances on life experiences.

For example, back in my early 30s, to overcome my shy nature with respect to initiating conversations with others I did not know, I created and adopted the expression: “I’d rather try than be haunted by…” because the potential discomfort of trying and getting shunned was less painful than the haunting, restless thoughts of what might have been.

And I’ve had a lot of fun and gained a number of friends and wonderful life experiences over the years because of this. Many of which involve friendships which have lasted 15+ years!

A simple way to express this idea is (which my more intellectual followers might appreciate): “If A would like B to be a part of A’s life experience, then it probably makes sense for A to do something to initiate the process or communicate some sort of interest. Otherwise it may not happen.”

So, do not miss out on these kinds of wonderful life opportunities! The people and experiences in your life can add such color, beauty, excitement, and comfort throughout the months, years, and decades of your life. I STRONGLY encourage you to do this for yourself from time to time. Because you never know what might happen. So, do this for yourself if your can!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

BE A SOURCE OF PEACE, PATIENCE, AND POSITIVITY TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing which can be helpful when those you love and appreciate are burdened by something or experiencing extreme negative thoughts and feelings is being a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for the troubled person (and others in your life). Anytime others perceive us as a consistent source of these kinds of positive qualities, they will spend more time with us and communicate with us more – both in good times and bad.

If you truly desire to serve as this constant source of peace, patience, and positivity to others, then focus on this desired vision for yourself and ask yourself what actions you can take today, tomorrow, next week, and next month to progress towards this and then start taking these actions. In addition, review and reflect on your progress by asking yourself, throughout your days, if your behaviors, actions, and communications have been consistent with your vision and make adjustments accordingly to ensure you converge towards it – saying “yes” to anything which moves you closer to your vision of peace, patience, and positivity and “no” to anything which does not. If you do these things, you will begin to embody the positive qualities you are envisioning for yourself.

I used this very technique to help a young woman I coached recently named Anne. Anne was worried because her girlfriend was becoming distant – not spending as much time or communicating with her as much as she had in the past. After talking with Anne further, it came to light that her girlfriend was getting overwhelmed by the health problems her mother was experiencing and the need for constant support. And things kept getting worse.

Up to that point in time, Anne would freely share her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend. It’s just something they had always done. I pointed out to Anne that her girlfriend – in going through the challenges with her mother – was living a life far out of balance and the imbalance and happenings in her life were creating a substantial amount stress, negativity, and chaos. As such, burdening her girlfriend further by communicating her own problems, issues, and concerns would make her girlfriend feel even more overwhelmed and intensify her negative feelings of stress, irritability, sadness, anxiety, and chaos – all of which might create additional withdrawal and isolation (in the best case) or a quick, desperate reaction (in the worst case).

So, I strongly encouraged Anne to refrain from sharing her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend during this period of time and instead sharing them with others in her life if she felt the need – others who were not going through such intense challenges in their lives. I also challenged Anne to focus primarily on becoming a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for her girlfriend because of the increased likelihood they might spend more time together and communicate more with each other if her girlfriend associated Anne with these kinds of positive qualities – positive qualities which offered: (1) a safe haven away from all of the chaos and imbalance she was experiencing, and (2) a way of gaining back some of that balance and recharging and rejuvenating herself in the process.

Well, Anne did exactly that – actively taking steps to become a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity to her girlfriend – saying “yes” to anything that moved her closer to this vision and “no” to anything which did not. And sure enough, her girlfriend started coming around much more often and they were able to recover from what might have otherwise resulted in a tragic event.

So, always keep this in mind when dealing with people in your life who are experiencing significant challenges. They might need a break from everything they are going through – and if you can offer this to them, this might be the very thing which allows them to successfully navigate and overcome the highly stressful challenges and events in their lives.   

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

The most important question to ask yourself, in relationship situations (romantic or otherwise such as friends, family members, and acquaintances), is whether you desire to create closeness or distance. Once you decide which way you want to go, you must ensure your actions are consistent with that decision. Otherwise, you can create the opposite effect.

So many people desire to create closeness in their relationships but create distance instead because they focus on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing and reciprocate an amplified version of this. And the reciprocation and amplification process can continue back and forth between the parties until there is nothing left but distance.

There are cases, however, where people desire to create distance in relationships when they involve people who are detrimental towards them. In these situations, I always recommend that they focus intently on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing (and perhaps even exaggerate this) to give them the strength and resolve for creating the distance they need. Otherwise, they might not be able to do this. Especially, if they listen to their hearts instead.

So, keep these things in mind for your relationships. They can make all the difference in how things play out.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

THE HUGE HIDDEN WAY TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY YES TO ANYONE WITHOUT DOING THIS FIRST!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Sometimes, in our lives, we might say “yes” to those we are close to even when doing so might make us unhappy. Often, people do this out of their desire to be supportive and create additional closeness with others. However, what they fail to realize is that whenever they sacrifice their own happiness, needs, and desires in support of others, they will frequently create negative thoughts and feelings towards those they are seeking to please (as well as themselves). Thus, instead of the closeness they anticipated creating, they often end up creating distance instead.

For example, imagine you finally got a day to yourself and decided to spend the day being creative and doing some paintings you’ve been wanting to work on for some time now. Your romantic partner – upon realizing that you had the day off – asks you to perform a few errands and to get together for lunch. You don’t really want to do any of this because it interferes with your own plans but you agree to it because you think it would be kinder and less selfish of you to do so. So, you end up spending a few hours doing this and even though it only took a few hours, it might create negative thoughts and feelings towards your partner (and yourself) in the hours and days and weeks which follow – something which can create distance in your relationship instead of the closeness you had anticipated creating by being so supportive. This can happen anytime that you place the happiness and desires of others before your own. Especially, for things which truly matter to you.

Another example of this involves making plans. Recently, I coached a woman who had communicated that her boyfriend planned events for them to attend which she did not enjoy very much. She would go because he was her boyfriend but she would experience a large amount of stress, negativity, and anxiety leading up to the events, awkwardness at the events themselves when trying to “fit in” and being careful not to do anything socially awkward, and after the events when repeatedly criticizing herself for any faults or imperfections and telling herself she should have done better. So, she would experience a huge amount of stress, anxiety, and negativity leading up to the events, during the events themselves, and after the events. Stress, anxiety, and negativity which consumed her and made her less available and attentive towards herself and her partner.

The problem with situations such as the above is frequently people plan events and activities based on what they value. And values tend to vary widely between one person and the next. For example, her partner was very extroverted in nature and enjoyed large gatherings and events. She was the opposite. So, I encouraged her to have honest discussions with her partner about her values and preferences so that he could become more mindful of these and make plans accordingly. I also encouraged her to get in the practice of saying “no” to things which make her unhappy – because doing what you truly do not want to do can affect your relationships in huge and lasting ways.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, authentic life – your own and nobody else’s. And you will take actions and support events and activities which are ALWAYS right for you and others in your life. What a wonderful life you will create and share if you live in this fashion. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can. Oh, and also be sure to read this related article about why you should never take the advice of anyone (including me!)!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Happiness Tip: Focus More on Creating Instead of Pursuing Happiness

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people in life spend much of their time and energy pursuing happiness instead of taking steps to create it. And that which is actively pursued frequently evades while that which is actively created frequently attracts.

 
Thus, creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings will tend to attract that which we might otherwise pursue such as success or relationships with others (romantic and otherwise including friendships and acquaintances). By taking steps to create happiness, you will progress towards becoming one of those wonderful, happy people everyone loves to be around. Those who “beam” with warmth and positive energy and seem to attract love, friendship, and success almost effortlessly.
 
What a wonderful world we could all create and share if we each focused more on creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings. So, seek to find what makes you happy and fill more of your life with that which does and less with that which does not.
 
And if you do not know what truly makes you happy, then explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. In fact, I  recommend always including some aspects of exploration and adventure in your life, even while doing that which you already know makes you happy. Because you never know.  You might just discover even more which adds to your happiness. And even if you don’t, you will keep life fresh and interesting.
 
So, do these kinds of things for yourself if you can. Because you can never become too happy. 
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

A Quick and Easy Way to Evaluate Your Romantic Relationship

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

 

Here’s a quick and easy way to evaluate your present romantic relationship:

Consider the romantic relationships of others you have known throughout your entire life. They can be those that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. Select the one you consider to be the best or most positive relationship out of all of these. Assign a value of 10 to this.

Next consider the most positive periods of relationships you’ve had in the past. Again these can be relationships that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. You do not want to consider the entire relationships (since they are now over), but the most positive periods of each. Following this, select what you consider to be the most positive period out of all of these past relationships. On a scale of 1-10, assign a score to the most positive period you selected with the understanding that a score of 10 represents the most positive relationship, throughout your entire life, of someone you’ve known (as performed in the previous paragraph). For illustration purposes, let’s assume that you assign a value of 7 to this.

Lastly, consider how your present relationship compares to the most positive period of the relationship above (i.e., how much better or worse is your present relationship with respect to the one you might have assigned a “7” to in the previous paragraph). If your present relationship is better than the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value between 7 and 10 depending on how your present relationship relates to the conditions in the previous paragraphs above associated with the scores of 7 and 10.  If your present relationship is not as good as the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value below 7 depending on how much worse the present relationship relates to the condition in the previous paragraph above associated with the score of 7.

Assessing your romantic relationships in the above fashion can be helpful because: 1) if it scores highly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to become more appreciative towards your present relationship and motivate you to express that appreciation more often and in multiple ways, 2) if it scores moderately on the 1-10 scale it can cause you to reflect on the more positive relationships (or the more positive periods in your past relationships) and motivate you to take  steps to improve your present relationship, and 3) if it scores poorly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to take steps to remove yourself from the relationship so that you can be available to find one that is more positive.

The above process can also be helpful to perform when faced with major life decisions with respect to romantic relationships. For example, if you are faced with the prospect of marriage or perhaps moving to another city so you can be with your romantic partner, then this can help you to quickly determine whether or not it might be something worthwhile to seriously consider.

Each of these are wonderful ways in which performing this assessment can be helpful. So make sure that you do this from time to time in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Happiness Is Easy: A Simple Guide For Creating Greater Joy, Inspiration, and Positivity In Life

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article presents a wonderful way in which to create greater joy, inspiration, and positivity in life by regularly performing assessments, reflecting on these, and making adjustments accordingly such that you begin to fill more of your time with that which promotes a sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life and less with that which does not. This includes the tasks, chores, and work that you perform, the people that you spend your time with, and the activities that you engage in. By mindfully evaluating and reflecting upon these areas of your life, on a regular basis, you will be able to readily determine which of these aspects promote a sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life and which do not. For those aspects that do you will want to mindfully and intentionally fill more of your time with these. For those aspects which do not you will want to either find creative ways in which to make these aspects more positive in nature or seek to remove yourself from or minimize your participation in these.

Concerning ways in which to modify aspects such that they become more positive in nature, one example might be related to work. For example, if the work that you regularly perform tends to be somewhat boring in nature then you might seek ways in which to make the work more interesting. One way to do this might be to seek to gain knowledge or develop skills which might serve to benefit you both at work and outside of work or provide transferrable knowledge and skills to other types of work that you might have greater interest in. Concerning aspects which you cannot modify or moderate in some fashion then you might seek to distance yourself from or minimize your participation in these. For example, if select individuals that you regularly spend your time with tend to create drama and negativity in your life, then you might want to mindfully and intentionally create distance, or remove yourself completely, at least until that point in time where you can be in the presence of these individuals and remain unaffected. Frequently, people will continue to maintain relationships with others even when they are negative, hurtful, unhealthy, or detrimental in nature. Don’t do this to yourself. It can sap your energy and fill you with negative thoughts and feelings. A better way to proceed is to mindfully evaluate your relationships, from time to time, and participate more in those that tend to be positive in nature and less in those which are not. This goes for all types of relationships to include romantic partners, friendships, family members, co-workers, and acquaintances.

Each of these are examples of ways in which to progress towards living a happier life: filling more of your life with the positive and removing or distancing yourself from that which tends to be negative in nature. By mindfully, intentionally, and incrementally progressing towards the positive and away from the negative you will develop a greater sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life. And this will feel wonderful. And this will energize and motivate you. And this will benefit not only yourself, but also others who surround you. How much joy, inspiration, and positivity can you stand? Well, you will soon find out as soon as you begin to live your life in this fashion. Yes, happiness is easy. You just have to mindfully, intentionally, and incrementally take the steps to get you there. Make it your lifelong goal to regularly fill more of your time doing that which brings you happiness and less doing that which does not. Remain ever mindful of this over the days, weeks, months, and years of your life. In doing so, you will create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the joy, inspiration, and positivity you can possibly imagine. You can start creating this life today. So, do this for yourself if you can. And if you need any help with this you know who to ask.

This article describes one way in which to create greater joy, inspiration, and positivity in life by putting more time and energy towards the positive aspects and less time and energy towards the negative aspects. I hope that some of you will find this article to be informative, helpful, and inspirational. To date I’ve written several articles related to creating and living a happier life. Click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) if you would like to read some of these other articles for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in life if you think they might be helpful to you or to others in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

For those that do not know, I perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that soon I will write an article which will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC

Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with either of the two primary areas that I actively perform life coaching in. You can learn more about each of these areas by clicking on the menu, footer, and sidebar items.

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

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