mindfulness

Happiness Is Easy: A Simple Guide For Creating Greater Joy, Inspiration, and Positivity In Life

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article presents a wonderful way in which to create greater joy, inspiration, and positivity in life by regularly performing assessments, reflecting on these, and making adjustments accordingly such that you begin to fill more of your time with that which promotes a sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life and less with that which does not. This includes the tasks, chores, and work that you perform, the people that you spend your time with, and the activities that you engage in. By mindfully evaluating and reflecting upon these areas of your life, on a regular basis, you will be able to readily determine which of these aspects promote a sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life and which do not. For those aspects that do you will want to mindfully and intentionally fill more of your time with these. For those aspects which do not you will want to either find creative ways in which to make these aspects more positive in nature or seek to remove yourself from or minimize your participation in these.

Concerning ways in which to modify aspects such that they become more positive in nature, one example might be related to work. For example, if the work that you regularly perform tends to be somewhat boring in nature then you might seek ways in which to make the work more interesting. One way to do this might be to seek to gain knowledge or develop skills which might serve to benefit you both at work and outside of work or provide transferrable knowledge and skills to other types of work that you might have greater interest in. Concerning aspects which you cannot modify or moderate in some fashion then you might seek to distance yourself from or minimize your participation in these. For example, if select individuals that you regularly spend your time with tend to create drama and negativity in your life, then you might want to mindfully and intentionally create distance, or remove yourself completely, at least until that point in time where you can be in the presence of these individuals and remain unaffected. Frequently, people will continue to maintain relationships with others even when they are negative, hurtful, unhealthy, or detrimental in nature. Don’t do this to yourself. It can sap your energy and fill you with negative thoughts and feelings. A better way to proceed is to mindfully evaluate your relationships, from time to time, and participate more in those that tend to be positive in nature and less in those which are not. This goes for all types of relationships to include romantic partners, friendships, family members, co-workers, and acquaintances.

Each of these are examples of ways in which to progress towards living a happier life: filling more of your life with the positive and removing or distancing yourself from that which tends to be negative in nature. By mindfully, intentionally, and incrementally progressing towards the positive and away from the negative you will develop a greater sense of joy, inspiration, and positivity in your life. And this will feel wonderful. And this will energize and motivate you. And this will benefit not only yourself, but also others who surround you. How much joy, inspiration, and positivity can you stand? Well, you will soon find out as soon as you begin to live your life in this fashion. Yes, happiness is easy. You just have to mindfully, intentionally, and incrementally take the steps to get you there. Make it your lifelong goal to regularly fill more of your time doing that which brings you happiness and less doing that which does not. Remain ever mindful of this over the days, weeks, months, and years of your life. In doing so, you will create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the joy, inspiration, and positivity you can possibly imagine. You can start creating this life today. So, do this for yourself if you can. And if you need any help with this you know who to ask.

This article describes one way in which to create greater joy, inspiration, and positivity in life by putting more time and energy towards the positive aspects and less time and energy towards the negative aspects. I hope that some of you will find this article to be informative, helpful, and inspirational. To date I’ve written several articles related to creating and living a happier life. Click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) if you would like to read some of these other articles for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in life if you think they might be helpful to you or to others in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

For those that do not know, I perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that soon I will write an article which will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC

Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with either of the two primary areas that I actively perform life coaching in. You can learn more about each of these areas by clicking on the menu, footer, and sidebar items.

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

How to Create a Sense of Joy, Peace, Inspiration, and Adventure In Your Life Through Mindfulness and Intention

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article presents one way in which to create greater joy, peace, fun, and inspiration in your life by mindfully and intentionally slowing down a bit and moving at a patient, enjoyable, leisurely pace from time to time; creating a sense of unrestricted, childlike freedom, wonder, mystery, curiosity, exploration, interest, and adventure in the process. Can you simply let go every once in awhile, relinquish control, and be open to allowing things to unfold mysteriously, in any manner that they might, and then gently and lovingly responding accordingly to whatever happens however it happens? Some of this might involve being receptive to changes in plans, activities, and routines such as being amenable to doing different kinds of things or going to different places or locations than you usually might. Some of this might even involve doing the same kinds of activities, but being open to experiencing them differently such as modifying them a bit to make them more enjoyable, fulfilling, or inspirational in nature, processing them differently, performing them at different times, or changing routes to experience alternate perspectives. Try living your life in this fashion, from time to time, and notice how soothing, peaceful, and enjoyable it feels whenever you are able to do this.

Anytime that I operate in this manner I tell myself that it will be interesting to see what happens, interesting to see who I might come into contact with, and interesting to see how things might play out. I ponder who I might see along the way or how differently things might look or feel. So experience the release. Experience the joy. And experience the fresh, free-wheeling, free-spirited fun. Be open, fluid, and flexible, for moments at a time, knowing that any slight change or variation can introduce new experiences, new faces that you might come across, a change in scenery, and widely varied sources of inspiration if you are receptive to these. Engage your imagination and creativity, in these moments, allowing them to play a little and to run wild and free. Be observant and reflective and be childlike and playful in nature by deeply and fully experiencing the wonder, the magic, and the mystery that such moments can bring. Marvel with eyes of wonder and allow yourself to become absorbed in your surroundings, your inspiration, and in your experiences. Maintain an open, peaceful, observant, reflective, and relaxed state of mind throughout this process. Try doing this for yourself from time to time and notice how wonderful it feels. Then start mindfully and intentionally doing this a little more often in your life. Plant these seeds of change and watch them blossom into an abundance of joy, peace, fun, freedom, inspiration, and adventure in your life. Aspects which will benefit not only yourself, but also others who surround you. What a wonderful life we could all share if we lived more of our lives in this fashion instead of always moving at a stressful, hurried, painful pace the way that we so often do.

You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the joy, peace, fun, freedom, inspiration, and adventure you can possibly imagine by spending more of your life moving at a patient, pleasurable, leisurely pace instead at a painful, stressful, hurried pace. So try doing this for yourself if you can. And if you need any help with this you know who to ask.

This article describes one way in which create a life full of joy, peace, fun, and inspiration in your life by slowing down a bit, from time to time, and moving at a patient, enjoyable, leisurely pace. I hope that some of you will find this article to be helpful. To date I’ve written several articles related to creating and living a happier life. Click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) if you would like to read some of these other articles for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in life if you think they might be helpful to you or to others in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

For those that do not know, I perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that soon I will write an article which will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with either of the two primary areas that I actively perform life coaching in. You can learn more about each of these areas by clicking on the menu, footer, and sidebar items.

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Creating A Life Full Of Passion, Purpose, Fun, And Fulfillment

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article describes one way in which to create a life full of passion, purpose, fun, and fulfillment: Beginning with the end in mind. That’s right. Imagine that you are at the end of your life looking back. What life would you have wanted to live? What person would you have wanted to become? What influences would you have wanted to have? What contributions would you have wanted to make? What experiences would you have wanted to have? What relationships would you have wanted to share? What world would you have wanted to create and leave behind? Yes. The important life questions become much more apparent when you begin with the end in mind. Reflecting on your life in this fashion can influence you to initiate the changes needed, starting from where you are today, in order to realize some of these other aspects over time. You may not be able to do them all, but by balancing your greatest desires with the amount of time and effort it might potentially take to achieve each of these a sense of priority can become more apparent.

Some people prefer to contribute in the more micro sense via their personal relationships, families, friends, and local communities. Some people prefer to contribute in the more macro sense via humanity, nature, and the world. Some people prefer to contribute in a combined sense by doing a little of each. For example, in the micro sense, you might strongly desire having a family and nurturing the growth of your children. If this is the case, then you might contribute more to the current relationship that you have if it’s going well or, if you are single, then you might perform activities which are more social in nature, date more regularly, and/or create opportunities for performing the interests that you have in more social environments to create greater opportunities to meet that special someone. In the macro sense, you might decide to work towards a career which directly supports the macro aspects that you greatly desire to support, start performing volunteer work, and/or support various causes. In the combined sense, you might decide to perform a little of each of these aspects and/or focus on becoming the person you most desire to become in support of your most desired micro and/or macro life contributions. For each of these cases keep in mind, however, that your desires can change over time so it’s helpful to repeat your “end of life” evaluation from time to time and to make adjustments accordingly. For example, someone might strongly desire to contribute to the growth and development of his or her children during one stage of life, but once the children have gotten older or left home, strongly desire to contribute in other ways.

By reflecting on these “end of life contribution” desires and creating a life in accordance with these you will avoid the emptiness you might feel later in life should you ask yourself the haunting question: “What did I do with my life?” I’ve thought about such questions often in my life. Questions which have influenced me to: (1) write and publish poetry earlier in my life, (2) develop the books, training seminars, and articles that I currently develop as well as the life coaching services that I regularly perform, and (3) live ever mindfully out of kindness and respect for all living and breathing beings both in the world of today and in the world of tomorrow. Some of my “end of life” desires include offering inspiration, hope, joy, optimism, comfort, and confidence to others such that they live happier lives. Hopefully, the work that I am presently performing offer these aspects to you and to others in your life. Writing is probably my most preferred form of communication, because written works have frequently continued to offer such contributions long after a life has ended. So many books that I have read from departed authors have still influenced me today.

You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the passion, purpose, fun, and fulfillment you can possibly imagine by putting more of your energy towards creating a life which reflects your greatest desires and less energy towards those aspects which do not. So try doing this for yourself if you can. And if you need any assistance with this you know who to ask.

This article describes one way in which create a life of passion, purpose, fun, and fulfillment, by starting with the end in mind, such that you put more energy towards creating a life which reflects your greatest desires and less energy towards those aspects which do not. I hope that some of you will find this article to be helpful. To date I’ve written several articles related to creating and living a happier life. Click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) if you would like to read some of these other articles for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in life if you think they might be helpful to you or to others in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

For those that do not know, I perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that soon I will write an article which will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC

Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with either of the two primary areas that I actively perform life coaching in. You can learn more about each of these areas by clicking on the menu, footer, and sidebar items.

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Balance the Heart and Mind in Relationship Situations

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Selena Gomez once had a catchy song called “The Heart Wants What It Wants” and while I believe that, melodically speaking, it is one of her better songs, lyrically speaking, I would encourage you to think twice before living in this fashion. Too many people solely “listen to their hearts” when they are in negative relationship situations and wonder why they feel so miserable for so much of their lives. It’s okay to listen to your heart so long as you balance this out, from time to time, with thought, logic, and reason. In other words, feel free to follow your heart to some degree but keep your eyes open and put some thought into, and reflect upon, your personal relationship situation from time to time in addition to this.

A good thing to do in this regard is getting yourself into a quiet place and mindfully evaluating your personal relationship situation every once in a while to determine whether it is moving in a more positive direction or in a more negative direction. If the former, then feel free to crank up the volume of your heart and follow it intently – at least until that period of time when you decide to mindfully re-evaluate your relationship situation – because in situations where your personal relationship is strongly positive, it probably makes more sense to turn down the volume on thought, logic, and reason to ensure you do not over think the situation and create issues which are non-existent in nature while turning up the volume on a heart filled with love and desire. If the latter, then it would probably be best to turn down the volume of your heart and turn up the volume on thought, logic, and reason – at least until that period of time when things significantly improve (if ever).In some cases, you might be able to mindfully take actions to improve the relationship situation, while in others the relationship might continue moving in a negative direction due to aspects beyond your control.

In situations where your personal relationship becomes strongly negative, it probably makes sense to listen intently to what your mind and other indicators are telling you and turn down the volume on a heart which might otherwise convince you to remain in a negative – or perhaps even a detrimental – personal relationship situation for a lengthy period of time. Don’t do this to yourself.

Each of these situations essentially involves the same process: getting yourself into a quiet place, taking some time to mindfully evaluate your personal relationship situation, and taking actions which are consistent with the results of this evaluation – perhaps, turning up the volume of the heart and turning down the volume of thought, logic, and reason when things are strongly positive, doing the opposite when things are strongly negative, and doing something in between when things are neither strongly positive nor strongly negative. You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the love and happiness you can possibly imagine by putting your energy into personal relationships which are positive in nature and distancing yourself from those that are negative in nature. So try doing this for yourself if you can.

Selena Gomez’s heart might “want what it wants” but living in this fashion can create a life full of misery unless you happen to be in a personal relationship which is positive in nature. So, evaluate your relationship from time to time. And if you need any assistance with this you know who to ask.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

This article describes one way in which to balance the heart’s desires with thought, logic, and reason such that you put more energy towards personal relationship situations which are more positive in nature while distancing yourself from those that are more negative in nature. I hope that some of you who are experiencing similar kinds of challenges will find this article to be helpful. To date I’ve written several articles related to creating and living a happier life. Click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) if you would like to read some of these other articles for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in life if you think they might be helpful to you or to others in your life.

For those that do not know, I perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that soon I will write an article which will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC

Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with either of the two primary areas that I actively perform life coaching in. You can learn more about each of these areas by clicking on the menu, footer, and sidebar items.

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Achieve Greater Peace and Happiness Through Improved Self Esteem

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Self esteem is one of the more significant factors which contribute to the levels of happiness – or unhappiness for that matter – that people experience throughout their entire lives. So, anything we do to improve in this regard can be helpful for not only ourselves but also others who surround us.

One of the primary reasons people suffer from low self-esteem is because they treat themselves unkindly. The first step for improving in this regard involves becoming more mindfully aware of when you are treating yourself unkindly instead of mindlessly continuing to engage in these activities. Often, self-esteem issues result from mindlessly and repeatedly treating ourselves unkindly via thoughts, words, and actions. So, a good way to challenge this tendency is becoming more mindfully aware of when we are treating ourselves unkindly – at least for part of the time (step 1 of the process).

You might tell yourself something like, “There it is… I did it again…”, when catching yourself and remind yourself something like, “I’m not doing this to myself anymore… I am now treating myself more kindly”, and then release the original negative thought. Every time you are successful in doing this, you will break the negative cycle. Every time you break the negative cycle, you will improve the way you feel. Eventually, you will get to the point that, in addition to performing step 1 of this process, you will reconsider the original self-directed negative thought and transform it into something more positive (step 2 of the process).

Often, people with low self-esteem use negative labels and generalizations against themselves such as “stupid”, “failure”, “loser”, etc. So, someone might innocently forget where he placed his keys and tell himself something like, “I’m so stupid”, but after performing step 1 of this process become aware that, in that moment, he is treating himself unkindly and then gently release the negative thought. Ideally, he would then perform step 2 of the process and reconsider the thought, “I am so stupid” , and upon further reflection realize, “Wait a minute, I’m not stupid. I just misplaced my keys. Sometimes, I get a little sidetracked but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” Transforming the original self-directed negative thought into something more positive.

I have frequently met people who seemingly, jokingly use negative words against themselves such as “stupid” or “loser”. When I encounter such situations, I often gently try to guide them away from the use of such words with the realization that the self-directed negative words expressed verbally are probably a very small subset of all of such self-directed negative words they routinely engaged in internally. Even if these words are used – on some occasions – truly in a joking manner, often people begin to believe the things they tell themselves over time. Especially, if they happen in a repetitive fashion. So, I always try to help people gain this awareness so they at least have the opportunity to break the negative cycle if they choose to.

Every time you become more mindfully aware and break the negative cycle, you will feel better about yourself. And this MINDFUL AWARENESS => BREAK THE NEGATIVE CYCLE process can continue from hour-to-hour to week-to-week to month-to-month. If you keep going through this process, you will eventually get to the point where you will treat yourself kindly – instead of unkindly – for much of the time. And this will allow you to love yourself more. And this will make you feel wonderful. And this will create greater joy both within yourself and within your surroundings. How much joy can you stand? You will soon find out once you begin to improve your self-esteem. So, do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Creating Healthy Boundaries in Relationship Situations

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article is about not only following your heart in relationship situations, but also about mindfully approaching such situations with thought, logic, and reason such that you create and maintain appropriate boundaries when needed. Recently, a series of my life coaching sessions focused on helping someone sort through a personal relationship situation. She had been dating a guy for several months who had always expressed great affection towards her when they spent time together but much to her dismay he, towards the end of that period of time, commented on how much he appreciated her “friendship”.

Now, one thing I frequently tell people, when it comes to personal relationship situations, is that it’s okay to listen to your heart so long as you balance this out, from time to time, with thought, logic, and reason. In other words, feel free to follow your heart to some degree but also keep your eyes open and put some thought into, and reflect upon, your relationship situation from time to time. If someone appears to be discounting or downgrading the relationship that you thought was progressing towards something more formal and less casual, from your perspective, then you must love and respect yourself enough to treat the relationship, and the other person for that matter, differently.

This does not necessarily mean you must end the relationship but that you must decide what works for you in the more casual type of relationship and create the boundaries you need for this relationship “type”. If you decide to proceed towards a more casual relationship, such as a friendship or casual dating situation, then you must make sure you become mindful about whether the other person is respecting your boundaries or not. If not, then you might need to consider ending the relationship until the other party is ready for a more formal relationship with you. Some people do not like casual relationships with certain others and thus the only “healthy” solution for them is to end the relationship completely. Everyone is different. You must do what works for you for whatever relationship situation you are in.

In this particular situation, there was more to the story. The guy had a long distance friendship with another woman but later came to the conclusion that he wanted to pursue a formal long distance relationship with her. So, the next session focused on that. At any point in a relationship situation where such a “decision” is made you must do at least two things: 1) Respect that decision (and yourself for that matter), and perhaps more importantly, 2) Ensure the decision maker has to live with the consequences of that decision until the time that the person decides to re-decide – which could be anything from developing a casual or perhaps no form of relationship with you at all depending on what you can or cannot live with out of love and respect for yourself. The point being that if the “decision maker” never has to live with the consequences of a decision, then the person has no incentive or motivation to ever consider making a different decision at some point in time. One which might involve wanting to be exclusively with you if you still happen to be interested and available at the time.

The above describes one way to mindfully create healthy boundaries in relationship situations by using thought, logic, and reason where needed. I hope that some of you who experience similar struggles will find this to be helpful in living a happier life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Living Mindfully and Intentionally, Being Clear-Headed and Open-Minded, and Releasing the Need to be Right or Defensive

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article is about living more mindfully and intentionally, being more clear-headed and open-minded, and releasing the need to be “right” or defensive. Part of this involves acknowledging and understanding that just because we, or others in our lives, express a certain belief, opinion, or criticism about something this does not mean it is necessarily or absolutely true. It might appear to be true based on someone’s individual experiences, knowledge, or perceptions at the time but one’s individual set of experiences, knowledge, and perceptions are only a small subset of the possible set of those which exist. Carrying this realization can go a long way in becoming a more understanding, compassionate, and forgiving person towards others (and towards yourself for that matter), and for living a happier, more peaceful life. 

What I often tell people in situations where they feel they have been wrongly judged, criticized, or treated unkindly in some fashion is to first take some time to get clear on what their ideal end result would be in such a situation before responding with action. Otherwise, they might end up creating the opposite effect from what they might truly desire. In situations such as this, simply get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these.

Many times in life, our most desired end result involves some form of love, warmth, closeness, and community with others. When this is the case, use your ideal vision of what you truly desire to guide your actions rather than your ego’s vision of wanting to be right, or to be a victim, by its focus on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. If you operate in this fashion you will get much closer to what you truly desire in life or at least be able to feel good in knowing you did your part in these regards.

Of course, there is always the other side of the equation associated with how others will respond to your good intentions. However, this is something you have little control over. Simply do your part, feel good about the actions you’ve taken to date (and continue taking them), and don’t worry about what you cannot control. Others often get held hostage by their egos just as we sometimes have in the past. So, try to be patient, forgiving, and accepting towards them. Just do your part to get closer to what you want and patiently wait for others to respond accordingly.

Most likely the actions you will want to take, in situations where your most desired end result involves creating greater love, warmth, closeness, and community with others, would primarily involve some form of loving-kindness towards others by bringing a successful resolution to the situation at hand in a kind and loving manner and improving your relationship. Many times, however, people do the opposite – focusing instead on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, or wrongdoing. But if we operate in this fashion we will end up creating distance in our relationships instead of the closeness we might truly desire.

Suppose, for example, someone criticized you for something you said or did. If you focus solely on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing the person caused, you will often reciprocate an amplified version of this hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. And this reciprocation process can continue, back and forth, for days, weeks, and even months and years if you allow things to really get out of hand. Your ego will feel vindicated but you will end up at the opposite end of the spectrum from where you truly desired to be – creating distance instead of the closeness you would have otherwise wanted had you acted in accordance with your true desires.

Sometimes this process also involves challenging yourself to understand the other person’s perspective – realizing that based on the person’s individual experiences, knowledge, and perceptions, things might have appeared the way they did (whether you agree with them or not). This can allow you to gain a better perspective and understanding and perhaps even allow you to grow or improve in some regard.

Several years ago, I helped someone with a personal relationship situation using this very approach. He had been dating someone for a few months before they started having problems. So, we talked more about it and he concluded that his most desired end result would be working things out and creating a stronger, warmer relationship with the person.

Now, another aspect of all of this involves making a decision, while we are clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with that decision for some period of time until we decide to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide. So, in this situation, where someone made a clear-headed decision to work things out and create a warmer relationship, the person would ensure his or her follow-on thoughts, communications, and actions were consistent with that decision – saying “yes” to thoughts, communications, and actions which moved him or her closer to what was decided and “no” to those which did not. So, if the person detected negative thoughts, communications, or actions towards his or her partner, then he or she would regroup, remember and honor the decision made, and then remind himself/herself that these are inconsistent with the decision made, release these, and focus on creating something more positive. If you do this it will simplify your life and ensure consistent and steady progress towards the decisions you make.

Well, as it turned out, the person I helped above was at a pivotal point in his relationship. He was ready to just end the relationship right there until he talked with me about it. He then used the above process and now, years later, he is still in the same relationship and they are happier than they ever have been. That’s the power of this process. It can really change your life.

Now, there exist some situations in life where, out of self-love and self-preservation, the most desired end result might involve creating greater distance from certain others – especially those who tend to be detrimental towards us. Again, for these kinds of situations, get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these. In situations involving a desire to create distance from situations which are detrimental towards you, it can be helpful to focus intently on, and perhaps even amplify or exaggerate, the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing experienced to provide you with the strength and reminders needed to create, and remain committed to maintaining, this distance. This aspect also involves making a decision, while clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with it for some period of time until a decision is made to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide.

Each of these situations essentially involves the same process: getting yourself into a quiet place, taking some time to mindfully contemplate and formulate what your ideal end result would be, making a clear-headed decision, and allowing this vision/decision to guide your actions in a mindful, intentional fashion instead of in a mindless, reactive one which is the default position many people take. You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the love, warmth, happiness, and peace you can possibly imagine by living mindfully and intentionally instead of in a mindless and reactive fashion. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

Brighter Days 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Achieve Greater Happiness By Prioritizing Life Activities

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One of the keys to happiness involves mindfully and intentionally ensuring the activities you perform on a day-to-day basis contribute, or add value, to your life in some fashion. I always tell people to make it a regular practice to evaluate the activities they perform on a day-to-day basis to make this determination and continue those activities which do contribute, or add value, to their lives while eliminating or reducing their participation in those which do not. By mindfully and intentionally living in this fashion, you will begin to remove the “clutter” from your life and achieve greater peace, happiness, and balance throughout the days, weeks, months, and years of your life.

In my own life, I performed such an evaluation and came to realize I spent a significant amount of time on social media, obsessively reading everyone’s posts, without realizing how much time it consumed. I am glad that I broke that “addiction” and encourage some of you to give it a try if you experience similar compulsions. I’ve been so much more productive and made so much more progress since letting this go. So, make it a regular practice to mindfully and intentionally evaluate the activities you perform, prioritize these, and make adjustments accordingly.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

Brighter Days 1
Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life