love

HAPPINESS TIP REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

The most important question to ask yourself, in relationship situations (romantic or otherwise such as friends, family members, and acquaintances), is whether you desire to create closeness or distance. Once you decide which way you want to go, you must ensure your actions are consistent with that decision. Otherwise, you can create the opposite effect.

So many people desire to create closeness in their relationships but create distance instead because they focus on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing and reciprocate an amplified version of this. And the reciprocation and amplification process can continue back and forth between the parties until there is nothing left but distance.

There are cases, however, where people desire to create distance in relationships when they involve people who are detrimental towards them. In these situations, I always recommend that they focus intently on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing (and perhaps even exaggerate this) to give them the strength and resolve for creating the distance they need. Otherwise, they might not be able to do this. Especially, if they listen to their hearts instead.

So, keep these things in mind for your relationships. They can make all the difference in how things play out.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

THE HUGE HIDDEN WAY TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY YES TO ANYONE WITHOUT DOING THIS FIRST!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Sometimes, in our lives, we might say “yes” to those we are close to even when doing so might make us unhappy. Often, people do this out of their desire to be supportive and create additional closeness with others. However, what they fail to realize is that whenever they sacrifice their own happiness, needs, and desires in support of others, they will frequently create negative thoughts and feelings towards those they are seeking to please (as well as themselves). Thus, instead of the closeness they anticipated creating, they often end up creating distance instead.

For example, imagine you finally got a day to yourself and decided to spend the day being creative and doing some paintings you’ve been wanting to work on for some time now. Your romantic partner – upon realizing that you had the day off – asks you to perform a few errands and to get together for lunch. You don’t really want to do any of this because it interferes with your own plans but you agree to it because you think it would be kinder and less selfish of you to do so. So, you end up spending a few hours doing this and even though it only took a few hours, it might create negative thoughts and feelings towards your partner (and yourself) in the hours and days and weeks which follow – something which can create distance in your relationship instead of the closeness you had anticipated creating by being so supportive. This can happen anytime that you place the happiness and desires of others before your own. Especially, for things which truly matter to you.

Another example of this involves making plans. Recently, I coached a woman who had communicated that her boyfriend planned events for them to attend which she did not enjoy very much. She would go because he was her boyfriend but she would experience a large amount of stress, negativity, and anxiety leading up to the events, awkwardness at the events themselves when trying to “fit in” and being careful not to do anything socially awkward, and after the events when repeatedly criticizing herself for any faults or imperfections and telling herself she should have done better. So, she would experience a huge amount of stress, anxiety, and negativity leading up to the events, during the events themselves, and after the events. Stress, anxiety, and negativity which consumed her and made her less available and attentive towards herself and her partner.

The problem with situations such as the above is frequently people plan events and activities based on what they value. And values tend to vary widely between one person and the next. For example, her partner was very extroverted in nature and enjoyed large gatherings and events. She was the opposite. So, I encouraged her to have honest discussions with her partner about her values and preferences so that he could become more mindful of these and make plans accordingly. I also encouraged her to get in the practice of saying “no” to things which make her unhappy – because doing what you truly do not want to do can affect your relationships in huge and lasting ways.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, authentic life – your own and nobody else’s. And you will take actions and support events and activities which are ALWAYS right for you and others in your life. What a wonderful life you will create and share if you live in this fashion. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can. Oh, and also be sure to read this related article about why you should never take the advice of anyone (including me!)!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS CHALLENGE: BE AND SEE THE LIGHT AND WARMTH

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a worthwhile happiness challenge for you: See how many times you can be the light and warmth to others and see the light and warmth within others. We provide such joy and peace to those who come in contact with us when we are happy, calm, and peaceful ourselves – even when no words are spoken. So, strive to be that beaming light of love, warmth, happiness, peace, and inspiration each and every day.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

ALLOW OTHERS TO HAVE THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCE AND LIVE AND LEARN FREELY

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There have been times in my life where, with respect to the dating or relationship situations of others, I thought something like: “How silly (or even stupid) of him/her to put up with that other person’s crapola! He/she is getting treated like dirt!” Only to find weeks or even months later that the relationship not only survived but thrived and the couple became happier than they had ever been. How can that be? Well, you never know how things might change. You have to remember the dynamics between people. Initial interest can evolve and grow into warmth (and even love) and sometimes people change because they want to change and because they want to be better. It doesn’t always happen. But sometimes it does.

So, those I might have initially perceived as silly (or even stupid) in those situations turned out to be the smart ones. Those who loved, were patient, and put up with all of the initial crapola because they saw something I could not see. Something that made it worth the initial pains and frustrations to get to. And, in those situations, I found my initial distaste transformed into admiration. Because they did not give up. They worked (and sometimes even struggled) but made it happen.

So, do not judge others. Feel free to offer advice or assistance from time to time, as a friend or family member, but allow them to live and learn freely. It is their life experience. Not yours.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness $relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: FOCUS ON HOW YOU MOST WANT TO FEEL AND GIVE THAT TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One simple happiness tip involves asking yourself how you most want to feel and then freely offering that to others. So, if you want more love and kindness in your life, then give more love and kindness. You will be amazed at how much love and kindness comes back to you when you do this. So, make this a regular practice in your life.

Most people spend so much of their time focusing on how they feel instead of how they might most want to feel. Doing this is a sure recipe for ensuring you continue having negative feelings and getting what you DO NOT want in your life. Don’t do this to yourself!

What a fantastic life we (and others) could all share if we each lived in this fashion. So, always remember first to shift your focus on how you most want to feel and then freely offer that to others. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel and at the wonderful world you will create. So, do this for yourself  (and others) if you can!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Be the Most Gracious of Guests While Here on This Planet

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
People frequently ask me questions like why I am so happy, why I’m vegan, and why I pick up recyclables when they see me walking or running. Well, much of it has to do with the way I look at life and my philosophy on life as a whole. The following story I wrote a few years ago presents much of how I see things and why I do what I do and feel the way I feel. The edited version of this story was presented in my first self-help book, LIVING BLISS to more gently introduce this philosophy. The complete, unedited version is provided in my second self-help book, LOVING YOUR LIFE, for readers interested in achieving a fuller, deeper, and more complete understanding. I encourage you to read the below story, reflect upon it, and ask yourself what positive changes you might like to make in your life as a result.
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 
 
THE UNWELCOME GUEST
 
Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a house guest for a few days while you were away. Several weeks later he’s still in your home and has pretty much taken over your entire place. He invites loud, boisterous friends over to play cards and to drink beer and you find yourself spending more and more time away from your home, because you feel threatened by him and his friends who act hostile towards you for not being the way that they are. Even on quieter nights, when only you and he are at home, and you want to sit in the living room to watch television he’s always there ~ sprawled out on the couch watching something that you have no interest in.
 
You go to the refrigerator to get a glass of water from your fresh jug of spring water, but the container is empty. While you are there you decide you’re hungry and think you might enjoy some of that delicious vegetable casserole you prepared the day before, but find that the container has been half eaten and carelessly tossed onto one of the counter tops. Your home ~ which used to be tidy and neat ~ now has dirty clothes and trash strewn all about and dirty counters and dishes everywhere. The floors and carpets are saturated with dirt, mud, beer, and food. All of this mess, because your guest does not clean up after himself. Sometimes, he doesn’t even flush the toilet after using the bathroom and he leaves soiled pots and pans on the counters and in the sink. All in all, your home has become a dirty, stinking, filthy mess. How does this make you feel towards your house guest?
 
Now consider another kind of house guest. Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a different person for a few days while you were away. When you return you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified to the extent that it is in far better condition than when you first left. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. You find yourself looking forward to going home and wanting to spend more time in your home, because of how much more wonderful it has become. How wonderful would you feel and how likely would you be to help and do nice things for this person in the future? Most likely, you would want to become more a part of the person’s life, desire to do more to contribute to his or her life, and make the individual feel warmly welcome to come back and visit in the future.
 
Well, the spiritual world operates in very much the same fashion whether your belief system involves God, the universe, or some other higher power or spiritual representation. The more you express genuine appreciation the more love, peace, and happiness you will experience and have to be appreciative of ~ the spiritual world continually rewarding your appreciation with more to be appreciative of and showering with love, peace, and happiness the lives of those “house guests” here on this planet who are kind, mindful, considerate, and appreciative of the hospitality extended to them by the most gracious of givers. Those who generously offer kind and mindful contributions to the world for the benefit of all of our creator’s creations ~ making the earth a better and more pleasant place for all who share our planet.
 
Fortunately, for us ~ with respect to the unwelcome guest scenario presented towards the beginning of this section above ~ we can resolve situations such as this long before they get too out of hand and without too much effort. We have a police force that can serve and protect us, negotiate threatening situations, and keep offenders from returning. If only nature and less fortunate persons had others looking out for them in similar ways. Such hardship is unnecessarily created just so people can live more comfortably and conveniently. However, many of us are not mindful of this and do not carry this awareness.
 
Through kindness, lovingness, and mindfulness we can create a wonderful, new world:
 
~ A world in which we realize we are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and deserves to be free from fear, pain, suffering, and death.
 
~ A world in which we LOVE-AND-CHERISH-AND-OPEN-OUR-HEARTS towards other living and breathing beings as we do towards ourselves.
 
We can become more mindful. We can become more respectful. We can become more considerate and make kinder choices. We can love, and appreciate, and cherish all of life and generously share our world with other living and breathing beings. We can purge our homes of that unwelcome guest and assist all of our fellow, innocent, living and breathing beings in doing the same by becoming the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests in loving appreciation for the wonderful lives and the hospitality we have all been graciously granted. We can achieve this by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions.
 
The earth has historically been a holocaust of animal farming and production, animal exploitation, and animal science and testing ~ hardships unnecessarily created for nature just so people can: live more comfortably and conveniently, build and expand, reap profits and rewards, advertise products and services, and be entertained. Other living and breathing beings are continuously exploited and forced to suffer their entire lives to support the interests of the advertisement and entertainment industries, the research community, and the food, clothing, and dairy production industries. However, we can create a better world today for all who share our planet. We are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and we can love and care for other living and breathing beings as we do for ourselves.
 
 
So, the above story summarizes my philosophy on life. I believe life is such a wonderful gift and we are all guests here on this planet. Guests of God’s (or our higher power’s) hospitality. This is one reason why I am ever so thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life I get to share with other living and breathing beings who share our planet. Thus, I make an effort each and every day to express my appreciation and gratitude. One of the primary ways I do this is by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions. Whenever we live our lives in this fashion we create peace and happiness within our own lives, within the lives of others, and within the world which surrounds us.
 
In my own life I choose to live mindfully in a variety of ways to include: minimizing waste, living in moderation, relishing all of life (humans and nonhumans alike), and making a positive imprint to make the world of today and the world of tomorrow a better place. I see one of my primary purposes in life as one of offering and promoting happiness, appreciation, and well-being for the benefit of all living and breathing beings including:
 
~ loving, respecting, appreciating, and living in harmony with the earth and all who share her,
 
~ extending love, warmth, and kindness to others, and
 
~ living kindly and mindfully so as not to cause pain, suffering, or harm.
 
Everything that surrounds us has been loaned to us by the most gracious of givers: God, the universe, and/or our higher power. As such, there is nothing in this world that we truly own. Even our lives have been loaned to us. So let’s make the most of our lives and strive to become the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests while living here on this planet.
 
I have the strongest desire to be that gracious, kind, and mindful guest. As such, each and every day I strive to live ever more mindfully and to contribute to the world which surrounds me. I encourage you to do the same. What a wonderful world we could all share if each and every one of us contributed in these regards.

Happiness Tip: Focus More on Creating Instead of Pursuing Happiness

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people in life spend much of their time and energy pursuing happiness instead of taking steps to create it. And that which is actively pursued frequently evades while that which is actively created frequently attracts.

 
Thus, creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings will tend to attract that which we might otherwise pursue such as success or relationships with others (romantic and otherwise including friendships and acquaintances). By taking steps to create happiness, you will progress towards becoming one of those wonderful, happy people everyone loves to be around. Those who “beam” with warmth and positive energy and seem to attract love, friendship, and success almost effortlessly.
 
What a wonderful world we could all create and share if we each focused more on creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings. So, seek to find what makes you happy and fill more of your life with that which does and less with that which does not.
 
And if you do not know what truly makes you happy, then explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. In fact, I  recommend always including some aspects of exploration and adventure in your life, even while doing that which you already know makes you happy. Because you never know.  You might just discover even more which adds to your happiness. And even if you don’t, you will keep life fresh and interesting.
 
So, do these kinds of things for yourself if you can. Because you can never become too happy. 
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

A Quick and Easy Way to Evaluate Your Romantic Relationship

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

 

Here’s a quick and easy way to evaluate your present romantic relationship:

Consider the romantic relationships of others you have known throughout your entire life. They can be those that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. Select the one you consider to be the best or most positive relationship out of all of these. Assign a value of 10 to this.

Next consider the most positive periods of relationships you’ve had in the past. Again these can be relationships that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. You do not want to consider the entire relationships (since they are now over), but the most positive periods of each. Following this, select what you consider to be the most positive period out of all of these past relationships. On a scale of 1-10, assign a score to the most positive period you selected with the understanding that a score of 10 represents the most positive relationship, throughout your entire life, of someone you’ve known (as performed in the previous paragraph). For illustration purposes, let’s assume that you assign a value of 7 to this.

Lastly, consider how your present relationship compares to the most positive period of the relationship above (i.e., how much better or worse is your present relationship with respect to the one you might have assigned a “7” to in the previous paragraph). If your present relationship is better than the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value between 7 and 10 depending on how your present relationship relates to the conditions in the previous paragraphs above associated with the scores of 7 and 10.  If your present relationship is not as good as the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value below 7 depending on how much worse the present relationship relates to the condition in the previous paragraph above associated with the score of 7.

Assessing your romantic relationships in the above fashion can be helpful because: 1) if it scores highly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to become more appreciative towards your present relationship and motivate you to express that appreciation more often and in multiple ways, 2) if it scores moderately on the 1-10 scale it can cause you to reflect on the more positive relationships (or the more positive periods in your past relationships) and motivate you to take  steps to improve your present relationship, and 3) if it scores poorly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to take steps to remove yourself from the relationship so that you can be available to find one that is more positive.

The above process can also be helpful to perform when faced with major life decisions with respect to romantic relationships. For example, if you are faced with the prospect of marriage or perhaps moving to another city so you can be with your romantic partner, then this can help you to quickly determine whether or not it might be something worthwhile to seriously consider.

Each of these are wonderful ways in which performing this assessment can be helpful. So make sure that you do this from time to time in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

WHICH LIFE WILL YOU CHOOSE?

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Which life will you choose? A life full of beauty, love, warmth, joy, inspiration, and hope? Or a life filled with pain, loneliness, pessimism, negativity, emptiness, and despair? The choice is always yours. Remembering this is the key to the level of happiness – or unhappiness for that matter – that you will experience throughout the days, weeks, months, and years of your life. It is also the key for how much happiness – or unhappiness for that matter – that you will create within the lives of others who surround you. So, which life will you choose to experience and create? This is probably the most important question you can ask yourself.

Most people who know me well know I am a spiritual person. Now, what do I mean by that? Well, for me, one thing this means is that the spirits of all living and breathing beings never die – they live on after their bodies pass. Another thing it means for me is that connections and communications between individual beings – living or dead, near or far – can continue as if they were within our immediate presence. This offers such warmth, inspiration, and comfort because no matter where I am I never feel distant, disconnected, or alone. I can always summon and experience the joyful presence of others I have loved and appreciated in my life – past or present, living or dead. Sometimes, I will do things and invite them along to experience them with me. Sometimes, I will visit places we enjoyed in the past and beforehand tell them I am going and invite them to join me there. In either case, I feel their joyful presence and it fills me with happiness and makes me smile. I will frequently mentally converse with them and experience their joy at still being a part of my life and my joy at still being a part of theirs.

This is an activity you can perform with all of those that you love and appreciate: people and pets alike. For example, one of my best friends moved clear across the country a couple of years ago with his two dogs who I also adored. Sometimes, I like to go to the areas where he used to live. But before I go, I will generally invite him and his dogs – in spirit – to join me there. I always have such a wonderful, pleasant experience whenever I do this. And who knows? Perhaps, me doing this gave my friend and his dogs happy thoughts in those moments or happy dreams if they were sleeping at the time. For, so much more is possible in the spiritual world than in the physical world.

As another example, my mother died back in 2014, but I still invite her to participate in my life and feel her presence around me. For one thing, she always enjoyed trying new foods and desserts. So, anytime I’m trying something new I invite her to enjoy it with me. And she always does it with such joy! Bringing me great happiness in the process.

So, just because those that you love and appreciate are no longer in your life – either because they have moved away or have passed on – this does not mean you cannot continue to experience the warmth and the joy and the inspiration of their presence. Connect and communicate with them spiritually. Do it now. Do it tomorrow. And do it anytime you desire to experience the warmth, joy, and inspiration of their presence. You are not alone. You never have been. The spiritual world is always there for you.

Now, of course, there are naysayers who do not or will not embrace – and in fact reject – what I have proposed above. However, I would ask you to consider this: Imagine someone who lived his or her life experiencing the love, warmth, and joy of living in this fashion. Now, imagine someone else who lived life rejecting all of these notions and believing that life was a painful, lonely, dismal, and spiritless place. If both of these individuals died tomorrow, who do you suppose lived the happier life? The way you choose to live your life is always your choice. Always remember that. Because we truly do not know how the spiritual world works or what happens after we pass. Although, there have been accounts of near death experiences where beauty and reunions with loved ones of the past have been repeatedly described in detail.

I have made my choice. Which life will you choose? A life full of beauty, love, warmth, joy, inspiration, and hope? Or a life filled with pain, loneliness, pessimism, negativity, emptiness, and despair? Because it truly does not matter. Things will happen the way they do no matter how you choose to live your life. It does not matter. Or perhaps, more importantly, it does.

I hope this article will inspire some of you to live a happier life. I do not care which specific path or journey you choose so long as it does not create negativity towards yourself or towards others. Just choose a happy one. Not only for the benefit of yourself, but for the benefit of those who surround you.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships