balance

HAPPINESS TIP – LIVING IN THE MOMENT CAN BE DETRIMENTAL AT TIMES… HERE’S WHY:

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a Happiness Tip which might be helpful for some of you out there regarding present-mindedness and why it can be detrimental at times.

So often in life we are encouraged to “live in the moment,” “be present,” and “seize the day!” (i.e., “carpe diem!”) – among other, similar, popular kinds of expressions. And while living in this fashion can be helpful at times for easing worries, distress, and negativity, and creating a momentary sense of peace and enjoyment, there are also times when it can do more harm than good. Especially, during those times when we fall victim to temptations, addictions, compulsions,  distractions (TACDs), and procrastination.

Years ago I had a computer game addiction. It seemed fun and exhilarating in the micro moment-to-moment but when “zooming out” to the more macro level, I realized after playing such games all night – every night – that these kinds of activities were consuming my life to the point where they created extensive stress, fatigue, anxiety, and a lack of performance and progress in other areas of my life. Many temptation, addiction,  compulsion, distraction, and procrastination challenges do the same. Several examples come to mind:

  • spending money “seizing the day!” – every day – so there is nothing put towards the future,
  • drugs, alcohol, and other kinds of temptations and addictions,
  • anything which consumes more of life than one might like such as sports, social media, information or media content, television, social activities, money related obsessions, the internet, video games, cleaning, sex, work (in the case of workaholics), or activities (in the case of “doaholics”), and
  • anything and everything delayed or avoided due to procrastination.

Living in the moment – or a day at a time – can seem a pleasure paradise for anyone experiencing challenges such as the above because living in this fashion can lead people to believe they are living happy, successful, productive lives when – in actuality – they are not.

“How can you tell?” someone might ask. Well, one thing you can do is “zoom out” and examine your overall life from time to time. When doing this, ask yourself something like: “Am I progressing towards longer term happiness and success in my work, relationships, activities, goals, and my life overall?” If you’re not, then you might be falling victim to a “live in the moment” or “carpe diem!” mentality. Such a mentality can be a great excuse for taking detours and not moving forward in life but will never get you to where you desire to go over the longer term. Ask any addict, procrastinator, or exuberant spender.

A good way to address TACD and procrastination challenges is taking steps to moderate or eliminate anything which might be holding you back or consuming more of your life than you might like. Let’s take the computer games addiction above as an example. One way to moderate such an activity might be to limit participation such that you allow yourself to only play computer games on Wednesday and Friday nights from 8:00 pm to 11:00 pm. In my case, I elected to eliminate computer games completely. However, I could have simply limited my participation in these kinds of activities.

Some of the above TACD and procrastination challenges can be handled by simply moderating them while others – such as more severe addictions – might need to be eliminated completely. Do what works best for you or those you are providing assistance to.

Now, while it can certainly be helpful at times to “live in the present,” for easing periods of worry, distress, and negativity, and for creating a momentary sense of peace and enjoyment in life, there are also times when it can do more harm than good. So, get into the practice of “zooming out” and examining your overall life from time to time to ensure you are progressing towards the longer term happiness, harmony, and success you truly desire in life and taking steps to address any problem areas you find along the way. What a wonderful life you (and others) will create and share if you live in this fashion.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/


#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #mindfulness #peace #love #relationships #discipline #balance #joy #optimism #positivethinking

HAPPINESS TIP: ENSURE ANY IMBALANCE IN LIFE IS INTENTIONAL AND TEMPORARY

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a Happiness Tip regarding making sure that any periods of imbalance experienced in life are: (1) intentional, and (2) temporary in nature.

I must say I’ve been pretty impressed by the youth of today. So many seem so determined, so driven. It reminds me a lot of some of the older and past generations. I just hope they achieve what they are seeking without burning themselves out.

I always encourage some sense of balance but communicate that temporary imbalance is okay so long as it is intentional (and not habitual) and that you: (1) know what you really, really want and are working towards this, and (2) have a clearly defined exit so that you can then get back to leading a more balanced life. Otherwise, you might fall into the trap of working your life away and wake up one day pondering what happened to your life and find yourself haunted by all you had not done or experienced in life as well as any missed opportunities. Don’t do this to yourself.

Make balance a priority in your life. Because, focus and temporary imbalance might allow you to achieve specific goals in life but living with a sense of balance will ensure that you live a rich and rewarding life overall. Balance offers variety, stamina, warmth, color, excitement, inspiration, enjoyment, satisfaction, fulfillment, and overall happiness and allows one to recognize and capitalize on the synergies and opportunities in life – many of which may not be directly related to specific goals. So, always try to keep this in mind by making sure that any periods of imbalance in your life are truly intentional (and not habitual) and temporary in nature so you can get back to living a balanced life for much of the time.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: KEEP HEALTHY, MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS AND DISCARD THE REST

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Kindness, respect, and appreciation are critical aspects for relationships to be successful.  Keep in mind that any forms of hostility (verbal or otherwise) are none of these: (1) they are unkind, (2) they are disrespectful,  and (3) they lack appreciation and are actually the opposite of appreciation. So, anytime you experience these kinds of hostilities, reflect on it and have a serious  discussion about the way you will treat each other in the future. It always has to be kind, respectful, and appreciative in nature for the relationship to work. Otherwise, it is unhealthy and you might need to reconsider the relationship. This goes not only for romantic relationships but for other relationships as well such as friends, family members, co-workers, and such.

If you take the above steps, you will create healthy, loving, and meaningful relationships in your life and clear your clutter of any unhealthy relationships over time. And you will live increasingly happier and have people in your life that you value and who value you. So, do this for yourself. What a wonderful life you will create for yourself if you take these steps.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: ADOPT THE ATTITUDE THAT EVERYONE WINS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE THAT WAY

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One of the significant sources of stress, negativity, and isolation/loneliness in life is associated with having a competitive nature and seeing everything as “win-lose” situations. But you can create wonderful, positive surroundings filled with love, warmth, hope, comfort, support, and joy by simply adopting the attitude and mentality that everybody has value and everybody wins and living your life accordingly.

So, try to get more in the practice of dropping the competitive “win-lose”, exclusive mentality in your day-to-day activities and adopt this loving, inclusive mentality and watch your world blossom with love, warmth, hope, comfort, and joy all around you. What a wonderful, beautiful world we could all share if we all did our part in this regard.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

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HAPPINESS IS EASY

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Happiness is easy:

If you want love, then express love by being loving towards others.

If you want kindness, then be kind via your thoughts, words, and actions.

And if you want to be valued and respected, then value and respect others in your day to day thoughts, actions, and communications.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: LOVE, MARVEL, AND LET GO

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Well, just what exactly are you looking for? Magic and mystery and music and magnificence dance and abound all around you every moment of every day. The sunshine smiles, the skies wander, nature sings, animals love, and the earth spins in rhythm with the heavens in perfect balance and harmony.

What more than this is needed to make one smile, sing, and dance with joy and boundless love, wonder, amazement, and appreciation? What more I ask? What more could you be looking for?

Life and living is here right here and right now. Simply love and marvel and let go and waltz with the never-ending warmth, beauty, and flow.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: CLEAR THE CLUTTER AND TAKE STEPS TO LIVE INCREASINGLY HAPPIER

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Frequently, when you life coach people, you come up with alternate approaches for improving oneself and living happier. This is because everybody is different.  Something that works well for one person doesn’t work as well for someone else (and vice versa). Recently,  I worked with someone and came up with an alternate approach to living increasingly happier instead of the technique I originally used. It works like this:

Ask yourself what aspects of your life tend to affect you in a strongly negative way – creating substantial unhappiness in your life. When doing this consider activities you engage in, the work you perform, your financial situation, the people in your life, the information and media content you tend to surround yourself with and expose yourself to, your living situation, the goals you are presently pursuing (and any new ones you are considering), that which consumes your life more than you would like, any new experiences you are considering, and any personal issues which repeatedly create substantial unhappiness or negativity for you such as recurring stress, depression, anxiety, guilt, anger, and temptations, addictions, and compulsions. Becoming mindful of these aspects is helpful because awareness is the first step to change.

Upon gaining this awareness, you would next ask yourself what steps you can take to address each of the aspects of your life which affect you in a strongly negative way. Potential ways to address these generally fall into two primary categories: (1) those which involve creating distance or limiting participation (to include perhaps even removing oneself completely where possible or feasible), and (2) those which involve taking steps to work through or making significant changes. For those which fall into the second category – which might include current life challenges, work, and recurring personal issues (stress, depression, anxiety, etc.) – you would consider actions you can take to address these such as reading books on the topic(s), getting professional assistance, going to a support group or workshop, talking with others who have gone through similar experiences, and investigating/employing various other potential resources and sources of support. 

Once you have sufficiently addressed the strongly negative aspects, you would next consider what aspects of your life inspire or affect you in a strongly positive way – creating substantial joy and happiness in your life. You would then ask yourself what you can do to move towards, or increase your participation in, these strongly positive aspects and start taking these steps.

Once you’ve addressed all of the strongly negative and strongly positive aspects of your life, you would then repeat the above process by considering and addressing the moderately negative and moderately positive aspects.

As you fill more of your life with the positive and less with the negative, you will clear the “clutter” from your life and become increasingly happier. Once you’ve made significant progress in these regards start over and repeat these steps. Some people like to perform this process on an annual basis, perhaps the week leading to New Year’s or the week leading to their birthday, while others prefer to do this more frequently. Just do what works for you or those you are offering assistance to. 

Every time you inventory your life in the above fashion and work towards improvement, you will move in a positive direction, your life will get better, and you will feel increasingly happier. So don’t delay. Start today.

Here’s the original technique I used in case some of you would prefer this approach. Both approaches work well for promoting happiness in life but some prefer the original approach while others prefer the alternate approach addressed here. Just experiment with each of these and do what works best for you (or others you are offering assistance to). 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: HOW TO CREATE A HAPPY, PRICELESS, BEAUTIFUL LIFE FOR FREE!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

People frequently ask why I am always so happy, why I care so much about animals, and why I pick up recyclables when they see me walking or running. Well, much of it has to do with the way I look at life.

Consider this:

Imagine you loaned the use of your home to a house guest for a few days while you were away. When you return, you find your home has been completely trashed and has become a dirty, stinking, filthy mess. How would you feel about your house guest?

Now, imagine you loaned the use of your home to a different kind of house guest. When you return, you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. How appreciative would you feel towards this house guest?

Well, the spiritual world operates in much the same way. We are all just house guests of our creator – who has so graciously loaned us this planet (and everything in it) for all of our days. And those who genuinely care about and express appreciation towards the planet (and every creation in it) will experience blessed lives filled with love, peace, beauty, and happiness – the spiritual world continually recognizing their appreciation and showering them with more to be appreciative of. And this cycle of joy, positivity, and appreciation can continue from day-to-day, week-to-week, and year-to-year.

So, the above summarizes my philosophy on life and why I am ever so thankful and grateful and continually express this appreciation.

Everything that surrounds us has been loaned to us by the most gracious of givers. So let’s all strive to become the most gracious and considerate of guests while living here on this planet. Simply BE KIND, DO GOOD, and BE GOOD and watch your world transform into a life filled with love, beauty, and joy. What a wonderful world we could all share if we each did our part in these regards. So, do this. And do it often.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE VALUE OF TRUST

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One of the more difficult things to do in life is to build trust. It’s far easier to break trust than to build trust. But it’s also much easier to build trust than to repair trust.

So, never underestimate the value of trust. Trust is important for all types of relationships including romantic relationships, friendships and family, and work and community relationships. So, if you want to live a happy and peaceful life, make it your goal to live with a sense of discipline and commitment such that you avoid breaking trust.

The reason why it’s so difficult to repair trust once it has been broken is you have to develop not only a track record of trust and a consistent positive change in behavior but an OBSERVED, DEMONSTRATED, and PROVEN track record in the minds of those you are seeking to repair trust with – people who already have doubts about you and may have a lot of trouble believing your good intentions. This doubt and negative bias can be extremely difficult to overcome. So, do yourself a favor and put forth your best efforts to live a disciplined life and maintain a sense of trust. If you do this, your life will be much easier, happier, and more peaceful.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: HOW TO RELEASE JUDGMENT AND BE THE PERSON EVERYONE WANTS TO BE AROUND!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a happiness tip on releasing judgment and being the person everyone wants to be around: think about all of those you love and appreciate in your life – each of which have led unique life experiences which might have changed over time. Some of these aspects you know about and others you might not.

For example, some people in your life might have had Catholic, Buddhist, Atheist, gay, and straight aspects of their life experiences. Others might have had politics and political/other activist aspects and philosophies as a part of their life experiences. Still others might have had narrow-minded or liberal-minded views and beliefs or struggled with temptations and addictions as a part of their life experiences. And yet others might be artists or engineers or educators or entrepreneurs or have preferred one political candidate/party over another political candidate/party throughout their life experiences. And the list goes on.

However, no matter which path they might have taken to get to where they are today, always remember that you love and appreciate them as they are. And they might have been very different had they taken different paths or had other life experiences.

So, anytime you are tempted to pass judgment, remember those who you love and appreciate in your life today – those who might have had similar aspects of what you are judging others for in their life experience. And release that judgment and allow people to have the life experiences they truly desire up until that time that they choose a different path (if ever). Feel free to offer loving advice and ideas, all along the way, which you think might help them live a happier life but always remember it is their life experience – not yours.

If you live your life in the above fashion, you will feel happier, and others will feel happier and more comfortable in your presence. The combination of which will create, well, even greater happiness – both in your life and theirs!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships