Here’s a Happiness Tip which can be helpful not only for giving up bad habits but also for working towards progress: focus initially on making incremental progress and grow from there. Two examples of how this might be applied include the following:

1) Giving Up Bad Habits. Instead of focusing solely on giving up a bad habit (smoking, unhealthy foods, drugs, alchohol, etc.) by resolving to never partake in the habits again, resolve not to partake in the habit for some increment of time which is easy for you to support (e.g. an hour, 4 hours, a day, etc.). When the time is up, simply renew your resolution for another increment of time which is easy for you to support. Once you get into the practice of this and as the desire diminishes, you can extend the increment to something more stringent but still easy for you to meet (e.g. 2 hours, 4 hours, 2 days, a week, etc.). By progressing in this fashion, you can moderate and eventually overcome the habit.

2) Working Towards Progress. During those times when you might feel unmotivated or fatigued, instead of focusing solely on achieving something in its entirety (completing work or personal tasks, completing a run or workout, completing a goal such as writing a book,  etc.) focus on continuing your efforts for some increment of time which is easy for you to support (e.g. 15 minutes, an hour, 1 mile, 50 calories, 1 hour, etc.). For example, you might tell yourself something like: “I’m going to keep running (or working) for another 15 minutes.” When the time is up, simply renew your resolution for another increment of time which is easy for you to support (perhaps even extending the increment of time to something more stringent if feasible or practical) until you have made the progress desired or complete the task, run, or workout. By progressing in this fashion, you can improve progress.

The reason this can be a good approach to take is because, in the words of David L. Swartz (from the book The Magic of Thinking Big): “Someone who wants freedom from a bad habit all at once often fails because the psychological pain is more than he or she can stand. An hour is easy; forever is difficult.” Likewise an increment of progress is easy, but the entire goal or a certain level of progress all at once can be overwhelming. So, focusing on making incremental progress can sometimes be a good approach to take.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #mindfulness #peace #love #relationships #discipline #balance #joy #optimism #positivethinking

Here’s a Happiness Tip which might be helpful for some of you out there: Don’t get so hung up on having a purpose. There is something which matters so much more than that.

Frequently, as a life coach, when I give a talk to a group or meet someone for the very first time I will ask: “What is the most important life question?” Almost every time I ask this, someone responds with: “What is my purpose?” I then typically initiate what usually amounts to a lively discussion. I’ll ask questions like: “What does it mean to have a purpose and, more importantly, what does that mean for you?” and “Your purpose – according to what or who?” and “How would you go about finding your purpose?” and “How will you know when you’ve found your purpose?” and “Is your purpose static and limited to one thing – it being that ‘purpose’ is a singular word?” and so on.

The reason I like to initiate these kinds of discussions is because people frequently use common words and expressions – such as “purpose” or “passion” – without knowing what they truly mean for them. And if they don’t have a clear and specific meaning or how it might apply for themselves, as individuals, how do words and expressions like these help? Well, they don’t.

Many people I have coached in the past, experience a sense of anxiety, frustration, or gloom when other people seem to have some sense of purpose but they do not know, themselves, what their specific purpose is. But I always tell them to just let it go. That just because some people seem to live with a sense of purpose, not everybody does. And that’s okay.

Now, if you are one of those people who feel there is no way under heaven you will ever be happy until you have a specifically defined purpose, well, I’ve got good news for you. By the end of this post you will know exactly what your purpose is. How do I know this? Because I’m going to give it to you. Happy? Good. Keep reading.

There are some people out there who feel they know what their life purpose is and actively live it. And while I encourage and applaud them on the one hand, on the other I can’t help but wonder if their lives might have more zest, fulfillment, pizzazz, meaning, and completeness if they did not limit themselves to that one, singular purpose in life. That is, does it really make sense for an entire life to focus on one thing and might there be something more? You better believe there might. So, I encourage even those who believe they have found their purpose to both actively engage in new experiences and perform exploration all along the way. Because you never know what other interests and passions you might discover in life – some of which might be more rewarding than, well, the original purpose you thought was truly yours and elected to actively pursue.

I had an excellent conversation with a young man a few months ago who had planned to leave his job and go live in a foreign country for a lengthy period of time. He spent years saving money and over a year planning for this event and performing the coordination needed to make it happen. But as the date of his departure approached, he began to feel uneasy. So, we had a lengthy discussion about that and, in summary, what his uneasiness came down to was that he did not feel he had a purpose for the journey. So, I gave him one. I told him his purpose was exploration. He was moving to a foreign country to not only explore the culture and new experiences but also to explore himself. And he was opening himself up to new possibilities. New possibilities which could drive and direct his future and blossom into something so spectacular that it creates a lifetime full of warmth, passion, joy, excitement, and exhilaration. And what a wonderful life that would be! Needless to say, after our discussion, he felt much better about things and started getting excited about the adventure to come.

So, don’t get so hung up on having a purpose. Not everybody has one and not everybody finds “it” after years and years of searching. What truly matters is that you live a happy life, engage in new experiences, and perform some exploration all along the way. If you do, you might discover interests and passions you never knew you had. So, explore, experience, and keep exploring and experiencing, Because, as far as I’m concerned, exploration and experience are key ways to “spice up” your life.

So, now that you have read this, if you still feel you absolutely must have a purpose, well, just like the young man above, I will give you one: Your purpose is to live a happy life – including all and everything that means for you. Period.

For me that means living a colorful, exciting, multi-dimensional life by creating a dynamic, ever-changing life experience so full of warmth, joy, variety, color, wonder, sunshine, excitement, and exhilaration that much later in life I will reflect, smile, and marvel at all my life had contained and become. And I think that would be a wonderful place for everyone to get to.

Another part of the above, for me, involves inspiring others to live happy, rich, and rewarding lives. I hope I have and that some of you will be inspired to make some of the same choices I have because I would like nothing more than for you, all, and everyone to have this fantastic, spectacular experience.

So, yeah. Okay. Don’t talk to me about singular words such as purpose. Your life can be so much more than that. And it needs to be.

Simply live, explore, experience, and be happy. Because happiness matters. Not only does it benefit you but it benefits everyone and everything that surrounds you and all you come in contact with. Happier people create brighter surroundings, warmer and deeper connections with others, and more positive experiences. So, happiness is all that truly matters. And here is a four step process on how you can live increasingly happier that works each and every time.

Now that I have discussed the topic of “purpose” in detail, I imagine you have come to the realization that “purpose” is not the answer to my opening question: “What is the most important life question?” You are correct. “What is?” you might ask. Well, that is the topic of a different post. You can search for it here.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough

.

o

f

.

holding

.

o

n

.

too

long . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough

.

o

f

.

coloring

.

t

h

e

.

wrongs . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough

.

o

f

.

saying

goodbyes,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

then

believing

.

i

n

.

how

much

–

–

you’ll

try . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

(next time)

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

<rising echoes panned left tonight “I’ve had enough” 8 times into start of chorus 1 below>

<start of chorus 1>

I

could

.

m

a

k

e

.

you

shine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

could

.

m

a

k

e

.

you

wish

.

t

h

a

t

.

you

.

w

e

r

e

.

mine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

could

.

g

i

v

e

.

you

love . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

could

give

.

y

o

u

.

everything

below

.

a

n

d

.

above . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

could

–

–

try

.

a

n

d

.

try . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

could

take

.

y

o

u

.

to

.

t

h

e

.

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

could

.

g

i

v

e

.

the

sun,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

still

.

i

t

.

wouldn’t

.

b

e

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

<end of chorus 1>

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough

.

o

f

.

feeling

alone . . .

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ even

when

–

–

you’re

sharing

.

m

y

.

home . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough

.

o

f

.

promises

.

t

o

.

change,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

later

telling

.

m

e

.

I

am

.

t

o

.

blame . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

<rising echoes panned left tonight “I’ve had enough” 8 times into start of chorus 2 below>

<start of chorus 2>

You

.

s

a

y

.

I

.

g

a

v

e

.

up

.

o

n

.

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ well,

what

.

t

h

e

.

hell

.

a

m

.

I

supposed

.

t

o

.

do . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

hold

on

.

t

o

.

a

love,

.

.

t

h

a

t

.

.

is

worth

–

–

little 

more

.

t

h

a

n

.

dust?

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

could

.

h

a

v

e

.

been

.

s

o

.

much . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

could

.

h

a

v

e

.

had

.

s

o
.

much

more

.

t

h

a

n

.

lust . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

that’s

.

t

h

e

.

way

.

i

t

.

goes,

.

.

i

n

.

.

a

love

that

.

i

s

.

nothing

more

.

t

h

a

n

.

show . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

<end of chorus 2>

<instrumental interlude>

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough

.

o

f

.

staying

t

h

e

.

same . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

f

–

–

–

remaining

.

i

n

.

place,

.

a

n

d

.

not

turning

.

t

h

e

.

page . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Yes,

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough

.

o

f

.

not

seeing

.

t

h

e

.

change,

.

.

o

f

.

.

remaining

.

i

n

.

place,

.

.

o

f

.

.

staying

.

t

h

e

.

same,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

not

turning

.

t

h

e

.

page . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ve

.

h

a

d

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

<rising echoes panned left tonight “I’ve had enough” 8 times into start of chorus 3 below>

<start of chorus 3>

So,

.

I’ll

forget

.

y

o

u

r

.

name,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

carry

.

o

n

.

just

.

t

h

e

.

same . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I’ll

move

on,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

it

will

.

b

e

.

like

–

–

you’ve

always

.

b

e

e

n

.

gone . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There’ll

.

b

e

.

nothing

left . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ it’ll

.

b

e

.

like

.

w

e

.

never

met,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

that

.

i

s

.

all . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Nothing

.

w

i

l

l

.

remain

.

o

f

.

you,

–

–

except

.

t

h

i

s

.

sad

.

a

n

d

.

somber

song.

Reflection: This was the lyrics to a pop song I wrote back in July of 2019 which could also be viewed as a romantic-themed poem. All of my poetry tends to be lyrical in nature – so writing poetry to music was pretty easy for me to do. I had written the music to the song back in 1990/1991 – but did not write the lyrics until 2019. In this song/poem the contemplator has tried everything he or she possibly could to make things work out – with no success – and has finally given up, has had enough, and is moving on.