Author: Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

☆°▪︎ YOUR SMILING SECRET ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I

took

.

a

.

swim

.

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

deep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

it

.

w

a

s

. 

someone

else,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

not

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Someone

.

e

l

s

e

.

seeking

.

t

o

.

find

.

release . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Someone

.

e

l

s

e

.

dealing

.

s

o

m

e

.

other

.

life

.

t

o

.

lead . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Someone

.

e

l

s

e

.

whom

.

nearly

.

drowned,

–

–

within

.

t

h

e

.

memories . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ within

.

t

h

e

.

memories . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

f

–

–

–

all

.

a

n

d

.

everything,

.

.

y

o

u

.

.

could

.

h

a

v

e

.

been

.

t

o

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ all

.

a

n

d

.

everything,

.

.

y

o

u

.

.

could

.

h

a

v

e

.

been

.

t

o

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It

.

w

a

s

. 

someone

else,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

not

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It

.

w

a

s

. 

someone

else,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

not

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It

.

w

a

s

. 

someone

else,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

not

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

here

.

y

o

u

.

are . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ your

.

secret

.

smiling,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

still

.

breathing

–

–

next

.

t

o

.

me . . .

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ your

.

secret

.

smiling,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

the

heart

.

s

t

i

l

l

.

beating . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ still

beating

.

i

n

.

the

.

peaceful,

.

.

sleepy

.

ease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

.

peaceful,

.

.

sleepy

.

tease,

.

.

o

f

.

.

what

.

a

.

future

.

m

i

g

h

t

.

bring . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

took

.

a

.

swim

.

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

deep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

took

.

a

.

swim

.

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

deep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

took

.

a

.

swim

.

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

deep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

although

.

y

o

u

.

might

.

otherwise

.

believe,

–

–

there’s

.

n

o

.

need

.

t

o

.

take

heed . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ no

need

.

t

o

.

otherwise

worry

–

–

about

what

.

t

h

e

.

secret

.

m

i

g

h

t

.

bring . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

took

.

a

.

swim

.

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

deep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

took

.

a

.

swim

.

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

deep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

took

.

a

.

swim

.

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

deep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

it

.

w

a

s

. 

someone

else,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

not

me.

Reflection: This was a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in November of 2014 falls where the affected party struggles with internal and external demons – and just cannot seem to break the negative cycle. We get the feeling this will be a lifelong, all-consuming struggle, and that the affected party may never be able to escape the forces of struggle and darkness – and that anyone he or she comes into close contact with might suffer from the same.

☆°▪︎ WHEN LONELINESS CRIED ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

It

.

w

a

s

.

wintertime,

–

–

when

.

t

h

e

.

barren

echoes

.

o

f

.

loneliness

cried,

–

–

beneath

.

t

h

e

.

ruthless,

.

unforgiving

.

skies

.

o

f

.

bitter,

.

chastising

winds

.

a

n

d

.

cold-hearted

ice . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

shivered . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

shivered

.

w

i

t

h

.

the

lie . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

h

a

t

–

–

–

it

.

w

a

s

.

for

me

.

t

o

.

decide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ that

.

i

t

.

was

.

f

o

r

.

me

.

t

o

.

decide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

hide

.

a

.

life

.

using

.

words

.

t

h

a

t

.

were

.

n

o

t

.

mine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ to

hide

.

a

.

life,

–

–

without

considering

.

t

h

e

.

reasons

why . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

created

.

a

.

n

e

w

.

design,

.

.

w

h

i

c

h

.

.

mimicked

.

a

n

d

.

rhymed . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

created

.

a

.

n

e

w

.

design,

.

.

w

h

i

c

h

.

.

fit

.

s

o

.

well,

–

–

within

.

t

h

e

.

coloring

.

book

.

lines . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

shivered . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

shivered

.

w

i

t

h

.

the

lie . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

h

a

t

–

–

–

it

.

w

a

s

.

for

me

. 

t

o

.

decide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

time,

.

.

w

h

e

n

.

.

carefree

.

fun,

–

–

play,

.

a

n

d

.

laughter,

–

–

would

.

fly

.

s

o

.

free

.

a

n

d

.

carelessly . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ so

free

.

a

n

d

.

carelessly

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

exhilarating

highs,

–

–

beneath

.

t

h

e

.

promise

.

o

f

.

sunshine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ a

sunshine

.

w

h

i

c

h

.

would

.

smile,

.

.

w

i

t

h

.

.

a

.

warmth

.

s

o

.

wide,

.

t

h

a

t

.

free

.

spirits

.

danced

.

w

i

t

h

.

joy,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

cartwheeled

.

a

l

l

.

across

.

t

h

e

.

summer

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ they

danced

.

w

i

t

h

.

joy,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

cartwheeled

.

a

l

l

.

across

.

t

h

e

.

summer

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

now

.

i

t

.

was

wintertime.

Reflection: This was a melancholy-themed poem that I wrote back in October of 2014 where the contemplator looks back with regret on living a life within the tight confines of societal norms just to fit in. We get the feeling he or she will never be happy living in that fashion – because living an authentic, “true to yourself,” kind of life – independent of what others think, believe, or try to convince otherwise – is the only way to truly be happy.

☆°▪︎ I APOLOGIZE ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

place,

–

–

where

.

t

h

e

.

patience

.

o

f

.

time

–

–

walked

.

a

.

slow

.

a

n

d

.

steady

.

pace . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ there

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

place . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

did

.

n

o

t

.

rush,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

never

.

f

e

l

l

.

behind,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

the

days

.

seemed

.

t

o

.

s–t–r–e–t–c–h

.

f

o

r

.

miles,

.

a

n

d

.

miles,

.

a

n

d

.

miles,

.

.

a

l

l

.

.

the

while . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Clear

.

f

r

o

m

.

chaos

.

a

n

d

.

clutter,

.

.

w

e

r

e

.

the

pages

.

o

f

.

my

mind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

warmly

embracing

.

w

a

s

.

my

heart,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

accepting

were

.

m

y

.

eyes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Engaging

.

w

a

s

.

my

smile,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

gentle

.

w

a

s

.

my

style . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

towards

others

.

b

a

c

k

.

then,

.

.

I

.

could

never

.

b

e

.

unkind,

–

–

without

considering

.

t

h

e

.

price . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

yes,

.

I

.

have

.

n

o

w

.

come

.

t

o

.

realize,

.

.

I

.

.

once

.

lived

.

a

.

wonderful

.

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

filled

.

w

i

t

h

.

laughter,

–

–

rhyme,

–

– 

fun,

.

a

n

d

.

sunshine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

lived

.

a

.

wonderful

.

life

.

filled

.

w

i

t

h

.

laughter,

–

–

rhyme,

–

– 

fun,

.

a

n

d

.

sunshine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

back

in

.

t

h

e

. 

youthful

paradise

.

o

f

.

joyous,

–

–

carefree

. 

d

a

y

s

.

gone

by . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

.

i

n

.

those

times,

–

–

when

.

I

.

did

.

n

o

t

. 

judge,

.

.

o

r

.

.

cheat,

.

.

o

r

.

.

lie . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

apologize.

Reflection: This was a forgotten reflective-themed gem of a poem that I wrote back in October of 2014 where the contemplator looks back with remorse on a life which started out so wondrously free, carefree, and easy only to reverse somehow without his/her awareness – it was likely the result of small internal and external changes which accumulated over the years and decades. The end of the poem offers an intentional twist which sharply contrasts and conflicts with the rest of the poem.

Creating Healthy Boundaries in Relationship Situations

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article is about not only following your heart in relationship situations, but also about mindfully approaching such situations with thought, logic, and reason such that you create and maintain appropriate boundaries when needed. Recently, a series of my life coaching sessions focused on helping someone sort through a personal relationship situation. She had been dating a guy for several months who had always expressed great affection towards her when they spent time together but much to her dismay he, towards the end of that period of time, commented on how much he appreciated her “friendship”.

Now, one thing I frequently tell people, when it comes to personal relationship situations, is that it’s okay to listen to your heart so long as you balance this out, from time to time, with thought, logic, and reason. In other words, feel free to follow your heart to some degree but also keep your eyes open and put some thought into, and reflect upon, your relationship situation from time to time. If someone appears to be discounting or downgrading the relationship that you thought was progressing towards something more formal and less casual, from your perspective, then you must love and respect yourself enough to treat the relationship, and the other person for that matter, differently.

This does not necessarily mean you must end the relationship but that you must decide what works for you in the more casual type of relationship and create the boundaries you need for this relationship “type”. If you decide to proceed towards a more casual relationship, such as a friendship or casual dating situation, then you must make sure you become mindful about whether the other person is respecting your boundaries or not. If not, then you might need to consider ending the relationship until the other party is ready for a more formal relationship with you. Some people do not like casual relationships with certain others and thus the only “healthy” solution for them is to end the relationship completely. Everyone is different. You must do what works for you for whatever relationship situation you are in.

In this particular situation, there was more to the story. The guy had a long distance friendship with another woman but later came to the conclusion that he wanted to pursue a formal long distance relationship with her. So, the next session focused on that. At any point in a relationship situation where such a “decision” is made you must do at least two things: 1) Respect that decision (and yourself for that matter), and perhaps more importantly, 2) Ensure the decision maker has to live with the consequences of that decision until the time that the person decides to re-decide – which could be anything from developing a casual or perhaps no form of relationship with you at all depending on what you can or cannot live with out of love and respect for yourself. The point being that if the “decision maker” never has to live with the consequences of a decision, then the person has no incentive or motivation to ever consider making a different decision at some point in time. One which might involve wanting to be exclusively with you if you still happen to be interested and available at the time.

The above describes one way to mindfully create healthy boundaries in relationship situations by using thought, logic, and reason where needed. I hope that some of you who experience similar struggles will find this to be helpful in living a happier life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

☆°▪︎ SHY BEHIND THE SMILE ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There

.

w

a

s

.

only

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

shy

.

behind

.

t

h

e

.

smile,

.

.

I

.

.

once

.

knew

.

a

s

.

a

.

child . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

the

warmth

–

–

felt

good,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

love,

.

i

t

.

did

.

shine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

l

l

–

–

–

across

.

t

h

e

.

valleys

.

o

f

.

my

.

humble

.

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

although,

.

I

.

w

a

s

.

distant

.

a

t

.

times . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

still

.

w

a

s

.

kind,

–

–

offering

.

words

.

o

f

.

hope

.

t

o

.

those

.

temporarily

.

blind,

–

–

offering

.

a

.

beam

.

o

f

.

sunshine,

.

t

h

e

.

lost

.

might

.

find . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ offering

.

a

.

beam

.

o

f

.

sunshine,

.

t

h

e

.

lost

.

might

.

find . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Forgiveness

.

i

s

.

easy,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

acceptance

.

kind,

–

–

when

.

y

o

u

.

realize,

–

–

everyone

.

i

s

.

a

.

child

.

t

h

a

t

.

gets

.

lost

.

a

t

.

times . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ everyone,

.

a

.

child

.

t

h

a

t

.

gets

.

lost

.

i

n

.

life,

.

.

f

r

o

m

.

.

time,

.

t

o

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There

.

w

a

s

.

only

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

shy

.

behind

.

t

h

e

.

smile,

.

.

I

.

.

once

.

knew

.

a

s

.

a

.

child . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

the

warmth

–

–

felt

good,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

love,

.

i

t

.

did

.

shine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

t

o

–

–

–

the

.

d

e

p

t

h

s

.

far

.

behind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

 ~ removing

.

t

h

e

.

blindness

.

f

r

o

m

.

your

.

eyes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ easing

.

t

h

e

.

worries

.

f

r

o

m

.

your

.

mind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

you

.

began

.

t

o

.

dance

.

again,

–

–

beneath

.

t

h

e

.

wide

.

o

p

e

n

.

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

the

.

joy

.

y

o

u

.

gained,

.

a

l

s

o

.

became

.

mine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

.

there

.

w

a

s

.

only

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

.

there

.

w

a

s

.

only

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

.

there

.

w

a

s

.

only

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

shy

.

behind

.

t

h

e

.

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ shy

.

behind

.

t

h

e

.

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

once

.

knew

.

a

s

.

a

.

child.

Reflection: This was a inspirational/hope-themed poem that I wrote back in October of 2014 in reflection of where even the slightest warmth, kindness, hope, acceptance, patience, and forgiveness can change two lives at the same time – theirs and yours; even if only for a moment, an hour, or a day. Because every form of warmth and kindness you offer to others, comes back into your own via the shared experience. So, do this. And do it often.

☆°▪︎ THE TWISTING TURNING TIDES ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

It

.

w

a

s

.

dark,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

then

.

it

.

w

a

s

.

light . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It

.

was

.

n

o

t

.

wrong,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

it

.

wasn’t

.

quite

.

right . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

dipped

.

m

y

.

toe

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

eye,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

told

myself

.

t

o

.

fight . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

.

t

o

l

d

.

myself

.

t

o

.

fight . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

to

.

resist

.

t

h

e

.

slide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

the

.

storm

.

d

i

d

.

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

the

.

storm

.

d

i

d

.

entice . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

that’s

.

what

.

gets

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

each

.

a

n

d

.

every

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ it

.

gets

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

each

.

a

n

d

.

every

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

because,

.

e

v

e

n

.

though

.

i

t

.

tells

.

m

e

.

everything

.

will

.

b

e

.

alright . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ everything

.

will

.

b

e

.

just

.

fine

.

t

h

i

s

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

y

o

u

–

–

–

know

.

h

o

w

.

much

.

I

.

like

.

t

o

. 

wine,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

dine,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

dance

.

w

i

t

h

.

the

.

lie . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

like

.

t

o

.

dance

.

w

i

t

h

.

the

.

lie . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

dance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

dance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

l

l

–

–

–

hours

.

o

f

.

the

.

night . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

dance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

dance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

daylight

.

o

p

e

n

s

.

her

.

eyes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

I

close

.

t

h

e

.

blinds . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

close

.

t

h

e

.

blinds . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

close

.

t

h

e

.

blinds . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

close

.

t

h

e

.

blinds . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

I

.

c

a

n

. 

dim

.

t

h

e

.

light

–

–

which

.

reminds 

.

m

e

.

of

.

times . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

.

m

y

.

life 

.

w

a

s

.

mine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ when

.

m

y

.

life 

.

w

a

s

.

mine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

I 

.

h

a

d

.

a

.

mind

.

which

.

c

o

u

l

d

. 

clearly

.

decide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

had

.

a

.

mind

.

which

.

c

o

u

l

d

. 

clearly

.

decide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

before

.

I

.

f

e

l

l

.

hostage

.

t

o

.

the

twisting,

–

–

turning

tides . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

the

twisting,

–

–

turning

tides . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

the

twisting,

–

–

turning

tides . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

h

a

t

–

–

–

bring

.

t

h

e

.

lows . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

bring

.

t

h

e

.

highs . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

dip

.

m

y

.

toe . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

begin

.

t

o

.

slide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

dip

.

m

y

.

toe . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

begin

.

t

o

.

slide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

dip

.

m

y

.

toe . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

begin

.

t

o

.

slide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

t

o

–

–

–

the

storm

.

which

smiles.

Reflection: This was a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in October of 2014 where the affected party likes to flirt with temptation and repeatedly gets drawn into the depths of the darkness and chaos it brings – being addicted to the “ride.” It seems this will be a lifelong, all-consuming struggle and that the affected party will never be able to escape the forces of temptation, addiction, compulsion, and distraction. The struggle can represent any temptation, addiction, compulsion, or distraction type: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, obsessions, etc.

☆°▪︎ WHEN THE FUTURE BECOMES THE NOW ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

You

yearned . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

yearned . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

so

.

m

u

c

h

.

more,

–

–

when

.

y

o

u

.

first

.

s

e

t

.

the

.

course,

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

those

.

distant

.

shores . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ for

those

.

distant

.

shores

.

o

f

.

regret

. 

a

n

d

.

remorse . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

yearned . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

yearned

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

so

.

m

u

c

h

.

more,

–

–

back

.

when

.

y

o

u

.

stored

.

s

o

.

little

.

gratitude . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

what

.

treasures

.

y

o

u

.

held

.

i

n

.

the

.

days

.

o

f

.

before . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

when

.

y

o

u

.

knew

.

y

o

u

.

were

.

n

o

t

.

confused,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

felt

.

s

o

.

sure

.

y

o

u

.

might

.

find 

.

t

h

e

.

fix . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ you

might

.

find

.

t

h

e

.

cure . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

somewhere

behind

. 

s

o

m

e

.

secret

door . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

I

ponder

.

whether

.

y

o

u

.

will

.

yearn 

.

y

e

t

.

more . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ will

.

y

o

u

.

yearn 

.

y

e

t

.

more . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

.

someday . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

.

somehow . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

your

.

future

.

becomes

.

t

h

e

.

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ when

.

y

o

u

.

finally

.

discover

. 

there

.

i

s

.

no

.

doubt . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It

.

w

a

s

.

all

.

j

u

s

t

.

a

.

spinning

.

house

.

i

n

.

the

.

clouds . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

spinning

–

–

’round

.

a

n

d

.

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

end,

.

over

.

end . . .

–

–

–

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

up

.

a

n

d

.

down . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ it

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

spinning

.

house

.

i

n

.

the

.

clouds

.

.

o

f

.

.

doubt . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

ponder

.

whether

.

y

o

u

.

will

.

yearn 

.

y

e

t

.

more . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

ponder

.

whether

.

y

o

u

.

will

.

yearn 

.

y

e

t

.

more . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

.

y

o

u

.

someday

.

discern

.

within

.

t

h

e

.

whirling

.

blur . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

that

.

a

l

l

.

the

.

glimmer

.

y

o

u

.

were

.

searching

.

for,

–

–

sparkles

.

upon

.

t

h

e

.

distant

shores . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ it

sparkles

.

upon

.

t

h

e

.

distant

shores,

.

.

o

f

.

.

the

.

d

a

y

s

.

that

.

c

a

m

e

.

before . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

causing

.

s

u

c

h

.

rush

. 

o

f

.

regret

.

a

n

d

.

remorse,

–

–

that

.

y

o

u

.

madly

.

race

.

t

o

.

reverse

.

course,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

yearn

.

f

o

r

.

those

.

days . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

yearn

.

f

o

r

.

those

.

days . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

yearn

.

f

o

r

.

those

.

days . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

yearn

.

f

o

r

.

those

.

days . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ for

the

.

d

a

y

s

.

that

.

c

a

m

e

.

before . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ for

the

.

d

a

y

s

. 

that

.

c

o

m

e

.

no

more.

Reflection: This was a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in October of 2014 where the affected party likes to flirt with temptation and repeatedly gets drawn into the depths of the darkness and chaos it brings – being addicted to the “ride.” It seems this will be a lifelong, all-consuming struggle and that the affected party will never be able to escape the forces of temptation, addiction, compulsion, and distraction. The struggle can represent any temptation, addiction, compulsion, or distraction type: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, obsessions, etc.

☆°▪︎ BY YOUR SIDE ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There’s

.

n

o

.

need 

.

t

o

.

cry . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There’s

.

n

o

.

need 

.

t

o

.

hide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

I

.

a

m

.

always 

.

b

y

.

your

.

side . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Don’t

.

b

e

. 

surprised

.

i

f

.

I

.

try . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ if

I

.

try

. 

t

o

.

inspire . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ if

I

.

try 

.

t

o

.

hold 

.

y

o

u

.

high . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ if

I

.

try

.

t

o

.

wipe 

.

t

h

e

.

tears 

.

f

r

o

m

.

your

.

eyes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

you

.

m

i

g

h

t

.

see

.

t

h

e

.

same

.

sunrise . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

same

.

sunrise

.

t

h

a

t

.

I

. 

see

.

s

o

.

clearly

.

i

n

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

same

.

sunrise

. 

warmly

.

embracing

.

y

o

u

. 

in

.

your

.

n

e

w

.

future

.

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

will

.

y

o

u

.

allow

.

m

e

. 

to

.

b

e

.

your

.

guide?

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ will

.

y

o

u

.

allow

.

m

e

. 

to

.

b

e

.

your

.

guide?

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

that

.

i

s

. 

the

.

purpose

. 

o

f

.

my

.

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

shine

.

t

h

e

.

light

. 

where

.

darkness

.

resides . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

reveal

.

t

h

e

.

warmth

. 

behind

.

c

o

l

d

.

disguise . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

lift

.

gloomy

.

spirits

.

high

.

i

t

t

o

.

the

.

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There’s

.

n

o

.

need 

.

t

o

.

cry . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There’s

.

n

o

.

need 

.

t

o

.

hide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

I

.

a

m

.

always 

.

b

y

.

your

.

side.

Reflection: This was an inspirational/hope-themed poem that I wrote back in September of 2014 in honor of those special people I know and encounter in my life that I seek to continually uplift, encourage, inspire, and guide so they can live a happier, brighter, more fulfilling life.

Risk: How Much Should You Take When Investing Your Money?

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Perhaps the most important consideration when making investment decisions involves risk. However, what many people fail to realize is that not only can it be detrimental to their financial future to take too much risk, but it can also be detrimental to their financial future to not take enough risk. Largely, due to the bursting of the dot com bubble in 2000 and the subsequent financial crisis of 2008, many of today’s investors associate risk with emotional comfort level and, as such, primarily rely on cash savings or conservative investments to empower their financial future. However, what many of these investors fail to realize is that it could take a lifetime (or longer) to reach their financial goals in this fashion. Thus, even though they might tell themselves that they are taking little or no risk at all via the financial decisions they are making today they are, in fact, taking substantial risks in terms of empowering their financial future.

So, just what is the right balance between taking too much risk and not taking enough risk? This is a question that I frequently work with people to determine when coaching them on how to manage risk over the life of their investments. I do this in several ways to include:

A. Determining the risk category for each investment goal whether it’s a down payment for a home, an education fund, down payments for investment properties, or a retirement fund. The two primary considerations for determining the appropriate risk categories are:

(1) The defined amount needed upon reaching the investment goal (i.e., how do you know when the goal has been met?). To remain relevant, this amount may need to be adjusted over time. For example, when first establishing a financial goal for a down payment on a home you might initially estimate that you need $20,000 for this down payment, but later, due to home price increases and the type, size, and location of the home that you then desire you might discover that you actually need $30,000.

(2) How much money you presently have, how much money you still need to reach your latest adjusted goal, and what your time horizon is for reaching this goal. If, for a given investment goal, an analysis is performed and the determination made that it falls into a high risk category then you will need to invest in higher risk investments in order to meet this financial goal within your desired time frame. Otherwise it will take longer to reach this goal. The good news about being in a high risk category is that you do not have to be very precise in terms of market timing and/or the investment selected to progress towards the financial goal. On the other hand, if, for a given investment goal, this analysis is performed and a determination made that it falls into a low risk category than you will need to invest in lower risk investments to better ensure that you will not lose a significant portion of what you presently have should the markets experience significant declines. Otherwise, you run the risk, again, that it will take longer to reach this goal. In other words, it doesn’t make sense to take a lot of risk when you do not have to if you can meet this financial goal without taking this additional risk. The bad news about being in a low risk category is that you have to be much more precise in terms of not buying at the wrong time, or not buying the wrong investments, in order to sufficiently progress towards the financial goal. Unfortunately, as stated previously, many of today’s investors associate risk with emotional comfort level and thus rely on cash savings or conservative investments to empower their financial future. Furthermore, many of them have not even taken the steps to define what each of their investment goals are. If they did, they might be surprised at how long it might take to reach these investment goals by relying on cash savings and conservative investments. For example, if you had a total of $10,000 today, save an additional $2,000 per year plus a 5% increase for each future year, and invest all of this in emotionally comfortable conservative investments earning 3% a year, and plan to retire when you have a million dollars then it would take you 67 years to reach this retirement goal. Sixty seven years! However, it’s actually much worse than that. If you estimate that you might need $1,000,000 in today’s dollars to retire how much would that need to be 67 years from now? Well, assuming an average inflation rate of 2% per year, then your investment goal would need to be $3,800,000 dollars. So, although many of today’s investors invest in emotionally, comfortable, conservative investments what they do not realize is that they may not be able to reach their financial goals in their entire lifetimes! So, defining and refining their investment goals and re-evaluating progress and time frames are essential to ensure the appropriate investment risks are being taken. An investment which is emotionally comfortable today may not result in the gains needed to realize the investment goals within the desired timeframes. Recently, I coached a woman who wanted to retire in five years time, but was investing all of her money in a conservative bond fund. After performing some analyses we determined that her current savings would have to grow ten fold in order to reach her investment goal. Using an above average return rate of 8% per year it would take about 28 years or so to reach this goal. If she wanted to retire much sooner than that then the only chance she’d have of making it would be via high risk investments. Please do not wait until you are five years from reaching a major financial goal without understanding the appropriate level of risk to take to ensure your success. You don’t want to be forced into a high risk investment with little time to recover should the markets not cooperate. Making these assessments early on, and making adjustments and managing risk all along the way, is critical and will accelerate your progress towards reaching each of your financial goals.

B. Track and perform risk-reward assessments across various investment alternatives and invest in those which are appropriate with respect to the risk category associated with each investment goal. I perform risk-reward assessments based on various indicators and financial data that I regularly review and evaluate. I’ve discussed some of these via some of my previous articles: Using Bollinger Bands, Stochastics, and Other Indicators to Guide Stock Market Activities and Using Technical Indicators and Charts to Guide Stock Market Activities and Using Price Averaging to Manage Risk.

C. Invest in a disciplined fashion in accordance with the risk category associated with each investment goal using investment strategies appropriate for the risk category. I work with people to develop investment strategies in this fashion. One of the many strategies that I use is averaging into the stock pricing when buying and averaging out of the stock pricing when selling which is something that I discussed in one of my previous articles: Using Technical Indicators and Charts to Guide Stock Market Activities and Using Price Averaging to Manage Risk.

So, effectively managing risk and finding the right balance between taking too much risk and not taking enough risk, all along the way, is critical for empowering your financial future. Do not rely on cash savings and conservative investments if it will take nearly a lifetime (or longer) to reach your financial goals. Likewise, if you have made substantial progress towards reaching your financial goals, do not take so much risk that you stand to lose a large percentage of this progress if the markets significantly decline. I can help you to determine the right balance between these two extremes. And achieving the correct balance is critical if you hope to have the money you need to reach each of your future financial goals.

Managing risk and maintaining the correct balance of risk is key to progressing towards your financial future and the freedom that it brings. The impact of not doing this smartly is the same either way. If you do not take enough risk you will not reach your financial goals within your desired timeframes and if you take too much risk you will not reach your financial goals within your desired timeframes. The optimal level of risk to take at any given time is fluid and dependent upon your specific financial goal, the progress to date, and the associated timeframe. Any change to any one of these aspects will influence the level of risk appropriate for meeting the specified or refined financial goal within the specified or refined timeframe. Sticking to the same plan independent of these considerations will threaten your financial future and the financial freedom that it brings. I can help you to achieve this balance every step of the way.

This article informs how to manage risk and how to find the right balance between taking too much risk and not taking enough risk for each of your investment goals. Part of being a successful investor, and realizing consistent gains over time, involves managing risk and finding the right balance between these two extremes in a fluid, disciplined fashion over time.

For those that did not know, I generally perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the second area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in financial planning, management, and investing, rest assured that the next article that I write will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the personal and professional improvement, development, and growth area.

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

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Make a Bad Day Better
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Living Mindfully and Intentionally, Being Clear-Headed and Open-Minded, and Releasing the Need to be Right or Defensive

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article is about living more mindfully and intentionally, being more clear-headed and open-minded, and releasing the need to be “right” or defensive. Part of this involves acknowledging and understanding that just because we, or others in our lives, express a certain belief, opinion, or criticism about something this does not mean it is necessarily or absolutely true. It might appear to be true based on someone’s individual experiences, knowledge, or perceptions at the time but one’s individual set of experiences, knowledge, and perceptions are only a small subset of the possible set of those which exist. Carrying this realization can go a long way in becoming a more understanding, compassionate, and forgiving person towards others (and towards yourself for that matter), and for living a happier, more peaceful life. 

What I often tell people in situations where they feel they have been wrongly judged, criticized, or treated unkindly in some fashion is to first take some time to get clear on what their ideal end result would be in such a situation before responding with action. Otherwise, they might end up creating the opposite effect from what they might truly desire. In situations such as this, simply get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these.

Many times in life, our most desired end result involves some form of love, warmth, closeness, and community with others. When this is the case, use your ideal vision of what you truly desire to guide your actions rather than your ego’s vision of wanting to be right, or to be a victim, by its focus on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. If you operate in this fashion you will get much closer to what you truly desire in life or at least be able to feel good in knowing you did your part in these regards.

Of course, there is always the other side of the equation associated with how others will respond to your good intentions. However, this is something you have little control over. Simply do your part, feel good about the actions you’ve taken to date (and continue taking them), and don’t worry about what you cannot control. Others often get held hostage by their egos just as we sometimes have in the past. So, try to be patient, forgiving, and accepting towards them. Just do your part to get closer to what you want and patiently wait for others to respond accordingly.

Most likely the actions you will want to take, in situations where your most desired end result involves creating greater love, warmth, closeness, and community with others, would primarily involve some form of loving-kindness towards others by bringing a successful resolution to the situation at hand in a kind and loving manner and improving your relationship. Many times, however, people do the opposite – focusing instead on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, or wrongdoing. But if we operate in this fashion we will end up creating distance in our relationships instead of the closeness we might truly desire.

Suppose, for example, someone criticized you for something you said or did. If you focus solely on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing the person caused, you will often reciprocate an amplified version of this hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. And this reciprocation process can continue, back and forth, for days, weeks, and even months and years if you allow things to really get out of hand. Your ego will feel vindicated but you will end up at the opposite end of the spectrum from where you truly desired to be – creating distance instead of the closeness you would have otherwise wanted had you acted in accordance with your true desires.

Sometimes this process also involves challenging yourself to understand the other person’s perspective – realizing that based on the person’s individual experiences, knowledge, and perceptions, things might have appeared the way they did (whether you agree with them or not). This can allow you to gain a better perspective and understanding and perhaps even allow you to grow or improve in some regard.

Several years ago, I helped someone with a personal relationship situation using this very approach. He had been dating someone for a few months before they started having problems. So, we talked more about it and he concluded that his most desired end result would be working things out and creating a stronger, warmer relationship with the person.

Now, another aspect of all of this involves making a decision, while we are clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with that decision for some period of time until we decide to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide. So, in this situation, where someone made a clear-headed decision to work things out and create a warmer relationship, the person would ensure his or her follow-on thoughts, communications, and actions were consistent with that decision – saying “yes” to thoughts, communications, and actions which moved him or her closer to what was decided and “no” to those which did not. So, if the person detected negative thoughts, communications, or actions towards his or her partner, then he or she would regroup, remember and honor the decision made, and then remind himself/herself that these are inconsistent with the decision made, release these, and focus on creating something more positive. If you do this it will simplify your life and ensure consistent and steady progress towards the decisions you make.

Well, as it turned out, the person I helped above was at a pivotal point in his relationship. He was ready to just end the relationship right there until he talked with me about it. He then used the above process and now, years later, he is still in the same relationship and they are happier than they ever have been. That’s the power of this process. It can really change your life.

Now, there exist some situations in life where, out of self-love and self-preservation, the most desired end result might involve creating greater distance from certain others – especially those who tend to be detrimental towards us. Again, for these kinds of situations, get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these. In situations involving a desire to create distance from situations which are detrimental towards you, it can be helpful to focus intently on, and perhaps even amplify or exaggerate, the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing experienced to provide you with the strength and reminders needed to create, and remain committed to maintaining, this distance. This aspect also involves making a decision, while clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with it for some period of time until a decision is made to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide.

Each of these situations essentially involves the same process: getting yourself into a quiet place, taking some time to mindfully contemplate and formulate what your ideal end result would be, making a clear-headed decision, and allowing this vision/decision to guide your actions in a mindful, intentional fashion instead of in a mindless, reactive one which is the default position many people take. You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the love, warmth, happiness, and peace you can possibly imagine by living mindfully and intentionally instead of in a mindless and reactive fashion. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

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Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life