Halloween

–

–

comes

nearly

–

–

every

day

.

o

f

.

every

week . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ at

least

–

–

that’s

.

t

h

e

.

way

.

i

t

.

seems . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

that’s

.

t

h

e

.

way

.

i

t

.

seems

.

t

o

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

I

scream . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

scream

.

i

n

t

o

.

the

deep,

–

–

where

guilty

–

–

shadows

scheme . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

scream

.

i

n

t

o

.

the

deep,

–

–

where

.

t

h

e

.

haunting

–

–

never

sleeps . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

the

haunting

–

–

never

sleeps . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ it

whips

.

a

n

d

.

beats

–

–

until

.

I

.

bleed . . .

–

–

–

.

.

 ~ it

pounds

.

a

n

d

.

bruises

–

–

until

.

I

.

cannot

breathe . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ until

.

I

.

cannot

breathe . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

in

between

.

t

h

e

.

haunting

dreams . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

in

between

.

t

h

e

.

whips

.

a

n

d

.

beats . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

drown

.

i

n

.

the

defeat

.

o

f

.

what

might

–

–

have

been . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

drown

.

i

n

.

the

defeat . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

drown

.

i

n

.

the

defeat . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

drown

.

i

n

.

the

defeat . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

f

–

–

–

what

might

–

–

have

been . . .

–

–

–

.

.

h

a

d

–

–

–

it

been

–

–

another

day . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ had

.

i

t

.

been

–

–

another

place . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ had

.

i

t

.

been

–

–

another

page . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

I

would

.

d

o

.

anything . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

I

would

.

d

o

.

everything . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

just

.

t

o

.

be

free . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

I

would

.

d

o

.

anything . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

I

would

.

d

o

.

everything . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

just

.

t

o

.

be

free . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

.

I

.

a

m

.

married

.

t

o

.

the

disease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

a

m

.

married

.

t

o

.

the

disease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

a

m

.

married

.

t

o

.

the

disease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

a

m

.

married

.

t

o

.

the

disease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

called

PTSD . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

call

.

i

t

.

PTSD . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

call

.

i

t

.

PTSD . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

for

me

–

–

it’s

Halloween . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

hour

.

b

y

.

hour . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

week

.

b

y

.

week . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It’s

Halloween . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It’s

Halloween . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It’s

Halloween

.

o

n

.

repeat . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

I

scream.

Reflection: This is a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in October of 2022 in which the sufferer is stuck in a horrifying cycle which he or she cannot seem to escape. The line: “I scream into the deep,” then the opening lines came to me, and I wrote the poem starting from those. Another separate section came to me starting with “it whips and beats…” as did another separate section starting with “I drown in the defeat of what might have been” (this part came to me after hearing “Country Feedback” by REM – especially the part: “It’s crazy what you could have had.”). Somehow all of this blended together well. I started the poem on 15 October and finished it the very next day off and on without too much effort just in time for Halloween.