self-help

HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU

Many people spend so much of their time focused on getting there that they fail to appreciate the moment and their surroundings. Don’t do this to yourself. Mindfully slow things down a bit, every once in a while, and marvel at the world which surrounds you. You can do this while walking, driving, riding, or even sitting.

What I like to do is imagine my surroundings have been painted through the sentimental eyes of appreciation of an artist. How many paintings have you seen which were so cozy, so warming, so inspirational, and so inviting that you just wanted to be there? Well, imagine your surroundings were painted by such an artist and slow down a bit and smile and bask in the joy of it.

Anytime you do this, you will be able to transform even otherwise dull surroundings into something precious, wondrous, magnificent, and deeply moving; filling yourself with the warmth, joy, wonder, inspiration, and exhilaration of complete appreciation. And what might have been even boring, ordinary days will become extraordinary and you will feel happy, lively, and cheerful for much of the time. So, do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Happiness Tip: Live with a Sense of Balance

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people consume so much of their lives doing for others that they have little time or energy for doing (or even discovering) what they want for themselves. Don’t do this to yourself. Live with a sense of balance so that you do for (and give to) yourself all along the way. Both in the micro sense and in the macro sense.

In the micro, day-to-day and week-to-week, sense, you might incorporate more of what you want in life on a regular basis such as health and fitness activities,  things you enjoy, creative expression, exploration and adventure, social activities,  solitude, and learning activities.

In the macro, longer term sense, you might work towards that which you would like to achieve or accomplish such as earning  advanced degrees, writing books, establishing a business, transitioning into a rewarding new career, traveling, and any dreams or desires you might have.
 
If you live with a sense of balance, you will retain sight of and make that which you want in life a priority all along the way. You will live a rewarding, fulfilling life and accomplish so much more than you ever dreamed possible.
 
Many people wait until they reach retirement age to start working towards what they truly want in their lives. An age where they have less stamina and mental and physical abilities. So retirement, if it ever happens, can become a mad, stressful, tiring rush of “catch up” activities they’ve never taken the time to do in their lives. 
 
On 30 September, I retired from 29 years of federal service (4 years for the Marine Corps and 25 years for the Army). I was thankful that I retired after having already lived a full life of travel, writing and publishing, establishing a new rewarding career,  and accomplishing pretty much everything I truly desired in life. Thus, my retirement years will be this wonderful, peaceful ease of taking things at a leisurely pace and doing that which inspires and motivates and makes me happy in its own time. And I would want it no other way.
 
So, I  encourage you to live with a sense of balance all along the way by making yourself a priority in your life. It’s okay to have temporary  imbalance, from time to time, when you are working towards something you really want for yourself such as an education or success in your work, but always define where the exit is so that you can get back to living a balanced life. If you do this,  you will feel happy, fulfilled, accomplished, and at peace for much of your life. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Happiness Tip: Take An Easiest First Approach to Change

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people struggle with making the changes they desire in life. Frequently, this happens because they make the process of change so sudden and overwhelming that it’s difficult to find the motivation to even begin much less sustain.

What I frequently tell people to do in this regard is taking an “easiest first” approach to change and then growing from there. By identifying easy ways to move in the direction of the changes you desire, you will start making progress sooner, increase your comfort level, and build your motivation and confidence towards making the changes you desire. Changes which you will be able to incrementally build upon over time.

For example, if you desire to start a fitness routine, you might ask yourself what would be the easiest three days of the week, the best time of day, and what exercises you could reasonably initially perform successfully. You could then begin working towards this. Once you get comfortable with your new routine, you might then ask yourself what the next easiest day to add to the weekly routine might be and/or increase the amount of time or intensity of the exercises performed.

Alternatively, if you feel you are obsessive about something that you do everyday and want to move in the direction of reducing this so that it does not consume so much of your life, then you might ask yourself what might be the easiest days to skip the activity. For example, you might initially only allow yourself to perform this activity on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays until you get comfortable with the new routine and then reduce it to only Tuesdays and Fridays.

Both of these examples illustrate how to take an “easiest first” approach towards the process of change. So, do this for yourself if you can. You will be amazed at the progress you make when you operate in this fashion.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

 

 

Happiness Tip: Focus More on Creating Instead of Pursuing Happiness

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people in life spend much of their time and energy pursuing happiness instead of taking steps to create it. And that which is actively pursued frequently evades while that which is actively created frequently attracts.

 
Thus, creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings will tend to attract that which we might otherwise pursue such as success or relationships with others (romantic and otherwise including friendships and acquaintances). By taking steps to create happiness, you will progress towards becoming one of those wonderful, happy people everyone loves to be around. Those who “beam” with warmth and positive energy and seem to attract love, friendship, and success almost effortlessly.
 
What a wonderful world we could all create and share if we each focused more on creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings. So, seek to find what makes you happy and fill more of your life with that which does and less with that which does not.
 
And if you do not know what truly makes you happy, then explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. In fact, I  recommend always including some aspects of exploration and adventure in your life, even while doing that which you already know makes you happy. Because you never know.  You might just discover even more which adds to your happiness. And even if you don’t, you will keep life fresh and interesting.
 
So, do these kinds of things for yourself if you can. Because you can never become too happy. 
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Live Your Own Life and Your Life Only

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Live your own life, and your life only, no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince you otherwise. Many people who experience unhappiness in their lives do so, because  they are living other people’s lives and not their own. And often they are not even aware they are doing this.

This is your life and your journey. Treat it as such by finding out who you are and what you want and live that way by being true to yourself such that you live an authentic life. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel when you live this way.

And if you are not to the point in your life where you know who you are and what you truly want, then simply explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. I frequently tell people that exploration and adventure is the spice of life. So continue doing these kinds of things as well.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you start living your own life. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus On What You Have Instead of What You’ve Lost

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost. Especially if you’re going through a period of stress, anxiety, depression, sadness, or other forms of unhappiness and negativity. This goes for the people in your life, the relationships you have, your finances, and your possessions.

For those select times when you decide you truly want to focus on a loss (such as a period following a break-up), allow it, but do it in a mindful fashion instead of in an automated, reactive fashion the way people often do. Mindfully decide to do it and mindfully decide for how long. Then get back to enjoying your life and focusing on what you have in your life.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you do this. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus on How You Most Want to Feel and Then Offer That to Others

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
HAPPINESS TIP: Here’s a quick happiness tip for those who might be experiencing a period of stress, negativity, or unhappiness: Instead of focusing on how horrible you feel, focus on how you most want to feel and then offer that to others. So, for example, if you feel lonely or unappreciated and most want more love and appreciation in your life, then give more love and appreciation. You will be amazed at how much love and appreciation comes back to you when you do this. Anytime you graciously and selflessly offer to others that which you want for yourself, it will come back to you in overwhelming abundance.
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

 

Practice and Value Open-Mindedness, Kindness, and Compassion

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Those who know me pretty well know that some of the things I value are patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. Perhaps the only things I am strongly against are strong opinions and beliefs.

It’s a sad, sad fact that many people would rather ruin relationships with others and hold on rigidly to their present beliefs and opinions than entertain or even tolerate alternate viewpoints.

And the other sad fact is the beliefs and opinions people hold so dearly today often change over time which means that they might have carelessly thrown away potentially valuable relationships for nothing. Don’t do this to yourself or anyone else. Never underestimate the value of patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. Even when we presently disagree with others on certain topics that does not mean we cannot say to those others: “Right now I disagree with you, but I respect your present opinion or belief and love and care about and wish you well” with the understanding that over time, if we are open-minded enough, opinions and beliefs can change.

So many treat every topic or issue as an “all or nothing” kind of thing, but most things in life are not that way. There can be an element of “truth” and “possibility” and “rightness” and “understanding” on every side of a topic or issue. What a wonderful world we could all share if we each understood this and practiced open-mindedness, kindness, and compassion on a regular basis.

Well, a book I recently read, Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” highlights some good reasons to embrace values such as patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion:

Always being right is a horrible value to have because:

“We consistently make poor assumptions, …, misremember facts, give in to cognitive biases, and make decisions based on emotional whims. As humans, we’re wrong pretty much constantly … People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes and … close themselves off to new and important information.”

“Most of our beliefs are wrong. Or, to be more exact, all beliefs are wrong—some are just less wrong than others. The human mind is a jumble of inaccuracy. “

There is no way to love, kindness, peace, and happiness. Love, kindness, peace, and happiness is the way. So embrace and be that today, tomorrow, and every day that follows.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

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A Quick and Easy Way to Evaluate Your Romantic Relationship

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

 

Here’s a quick and easy way to evaluate your present romantic relationship:

Consider the romantic relationships of others you have known throughout your entire life. They can be those that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. Select the one you consider to be the best or most positive relationship out of all of these. Assign a value of 10 to this.

Next consider the most positive periods of relationships you’ve had in the past. Again these can be relationships that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. You do not want to consider the entire relationships (since they are now over), but the most positive periods of each. Following this, select what you consider to be the most positive period out of all of these past relationships. On a scale of 1-10, assign a score to the most positive period you selected with the understanding that a score of 10 represents the most positive relationship, throughout your entire life, of someone you’ve known (as performed in the previous paragraph). For illustration purposes, let’s assume that you assign a value of 7 to this.

Lastly, consider how your present relationship compares to the most positive period of the relationship above (i.e., how much better or worse is your present relationship with respect to the one you might have assigned a “7” to in the previous paragraph). If your present relationship is better than the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value between 7 and 10 depending on how your present relationship relates to the conditions in the previous paragraphs above associated with the scores of 7 and 10.  If your present relationship is not as good as the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value below 7 depending on how much worse the present relationship relates to the condition in the previous paragraph above associated with the score of 7.

Assessing your romantic relationships in the above fashion can be helpful because: 1) if it scores highly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to become more appreciative towards your present relationship and motivate you to express that appreciation more often and in multiple ways, 2) if it scores moderately on the 1-10 scale it can cause you to reflect on the more positive relationships (or the more positive periods in your past relationships) and motivate you to take  steps to improve your present relationship, and 3) if it scores poorly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to take steps to remove yourself from the relationship so that you can be available to find one that is more positive.

The above process can also be helpful to perform when faced with major life decisions with respect to romantic relationships. For example, if you are faced with the prospect of marriage or perhaps moving to another city so you can be with your romantic partner, then this can help you to quickly determine whether or not it might be something worthwhile to seriously consider.

Each of these are wonderful ways in which performing this assessment can be helpful. So make sure that you do this from time to time in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Create Excitement Through Synergy and Opportunity

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I frequently tell people there is synergy and opportunity in most everything in life. Even things you might not be very excited or motivated about. You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on it. The first step to this “recognize, create, and capitalize” process is awareness. What motivates or excites you? What do you truly value or enjoy in life? What knowledge, training, experiences, or skills might interest you or get you closer to where you long to be in life? These are some of the questions you might ask yourself when performing such an inquiry. Listen for and be open to the possibilities. Then make a list of what comes to you and listen for more possibilities. Then revise the list and listen for more  possibilities. And once you think your list is final listen once more for the possibilities and revise the list again. Then prioritize your list by placing that which you are most excited about or long for most towards the top. Eventually you will get to the point where you will no longer need a list – you will simply know these things without even having to think about them. But you can repeat this process anytime you want to open yourself up to new possibilities.


Once you gain this awareness it will be easier for you to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning those activities you already perform with that which you truly want for yourself. For example, someone might complain about feeling bored at work or at home. But anytime you experience periods others might describe as boring or unproductive in nature, you will recognize these as opportunities to work towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. You can simply go down the list from the highest  priority item at the top and work your way down until you identify something which might be feasible to work towards depending on where you are and what you are doing at the time. Eventually, those periods  of boredom and unproductivity will disappear completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Right now I have time to work towards…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list). And you can make steady progress whether it’s learning a foreign language, trying out new skills or experiences, investigating potential travel destinations, learning about finance and investing, researching a new business or career, or exploring new ideas.

As another example, someone might be unhappy about all of the hours they have to work. But whenever you work extra hours you might recognize this as an opportunity to accumulate additional resources to put towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. This additional money might come from: 1) the income earned for the extra hours worked, 2) the savings generated by not having time to spend the money earned,  or 3) a combination of these. Once the busy period expires you might be able to purchase one or more of the desired items or experiences on your list. Eventually, those periods of unhappiness will vanish completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Working these extra hours will allow me to purchase…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list).

So the above are two examples of how these ideas might be applied by taking the former “negative” perception and transforming that into something that you truly want for yourself, something you can feel good and motivated about, and something you can look forward to. Anytime you are able to transform the “negative” into something more positive you will feel happier and better about yourself and your life. So always make a concerted effort to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning the activities you perform with that which you truly want for yourself.

Recently, a woman I talked with was dreading the thought of having to drive to Missouri to attend an event in a rural area. After talking with her a bit more I learned that something she was excited and motivated about in life was travel. So, I suggested that perhaps she should consider the event as an opportunity to explore a few places along the way and back. She could perhaps leave a few days early and explore cities such as Memphis and spend a few days on the way back exploring other cities such as St. Louis or other places she might have interest in. She had  been so focused on the “dreaded” event that she failed to recognize the potential opportunities presented. It’s easy to lose sight of such synergies and opportunities when you heavily focus on the source of displeasure, negativity, or discontent. Many things in life are that way. So always try to broaden your perspective and transform the negative into something more positive.

Opportunities and synergies present themselves each and every day.  You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on them. So gain and maintain awareness of that which excites, motivates, and interests you and brings you happiness. And incorporate these aspects into your day to day activities as the opportunities arise. If you do this you will feel motivated and inspired and experience great happiness, fulfillment, and contentment for much of the time. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness