peaceful

BE A SOURCE OF PEACE, PATIENCE, AND POSITIVITY TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing which can be helpful when those you love and appreciate are burdened by something or experiencing extreme negative thoughts and feelings is being a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for the troubled person (and others in your life). Anytime others perceive us as a consistent source of these kinds of positive qualities, they will spend more time with us and communicate with us more – both in good times and bad.

If you truly desire to serve as this constant source of peace, patience, and positivity to others, then focus on this desired vision for yourself and ask yourself what actions you can take today, tomorrow, next week, and next month to progress towards this and then start taking these actions. In addition, review and reflect on your progress by asking yourself, throughout your days, if your behaviors, actions, and communications have been consistent with your vision and make adjustments accordingly to ensure you converge towards it – saying “yes” to anything which moves you closer to your vision of peace, patience, and positivity and “no” to anything which does not. If you do these things, you will begin to embody the positive qualities you are envisioning for yourself.

I used this very technique to help a young woman I coached recently named Anne. Anne was worried because her girlfriend was becoming distant – not spending as much time or communicating with her as much as she had in the past. After talking with Anne further, it came to light that her girlfriend was getting overwhelmed by the health problems her mother was experiencing and the need for constant support. And things kept getting worse.

Up to that point in time, Anne would freely share her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend. It’s just something they had always done. I pointed out to Anne that her girlfriend – in going through the challenges with her mother – was living a life far out of balance and the imbalance and happenings in her life were creating a substantial amount stress, negativity, and chaos. As such, burdening her girlfriend further by communicating her own problems, issues, and concerns would make her girlfriend feel even more overwhelmed and intensify her negative feelings of stress, irritability, sadness, anxiety, and chaos – all of which might create additional withdrawal and isolation (in the best case) or a quick, desperate reaction (in the worst case).

So, I strongly encouraged Anne to refrain from sharing her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend during this period of time and instead sharing them with others in her life if she felt the need – others who were not going through such intense challenges in their lives. I also challenged Anne to focus primarily on becoming a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for her girlfriend because of the increased likelihood they might spend more time together and communicate more with each other if her girlfriend associated Anne with these kinds of positive qualities – positive qualities which offered: (1) a safe haven away from all of the chaos and imbalance she was experiencing, and (2) a way of gaining back some of that balance and recharging and rejuvenating herself in the process.

Well, Anne did exactly that – actively taking steps to become a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity to her girlfriend – saying “yes” to anything that moved her closer to this vision and “no” to anything which did not. And sure enough, her girlfriend started coming around much more often and they were able to recover from what might have otherwise resulted in a tragic event.

So, always keep this in mind when dealing with people in your life who are experiencing significant challenges. They might need a break from everything they are going through – and if you can offer this to them, this might be the very thing which allows them to successfully navigate and overcome the highly stressful challenges and events in their lives.   

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Be the Most Gracious of Guests While Here on This Planet

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
People frequently ask me questions like why I am so happy, why I’m vegan, and why I pick up recyclables when they see me walking or running. Well, much of it has to do with the way I look at life and my philosophy on life as a whole. The following story I wrote a few years ago presents much of how I see things and why I do what I do and feel the way I feel. The edited version of this story was presented in my first self-help book, LIVING BLISS to more gently introduce this philosophy. The complete, unedited version is provided in my second self-help book, LOVING YOUR LIFE, for readers interested in achieving a fuller, deeper, and more complete understanding. I encourage you to read the below story, reflect upon it, and ask yourself what positive changes you might like to make in your life as a result.
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 
 
THE UNWELCOME GUEST
 
Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a house guest for a few days while you were away. Several weeks later he’s still in your home and has pretty much taken over your entire place. He invites loud, boisterous friends over to play cards and to drink beer and you find yourself spending more and more time away from your home, because you feel threatened by him and his friends who act hostile towards you for not being the way that they are. Even on quieter nights, when only you and he are at home, and you want to sit in the living room to watch television he’s always there ~ sprawled out on the couch watching something that you have no interest in.
 
You go to the refrigerator to get a glass of water from your fresh jug of spring water, but the container is empty. While you are there you decide you’re hungry and think you might enjoy some of that delicious vegetable casserole you prepared the day before, but find that the container has been half eaten and carelessly tossed onto one of the counter tops. Your home ~ which used to be tidy and neat ~ now has dirty clothes and trash strewn all about and dirty counters and dishes everywhere. The floors and carpets are saturated with dirt, mud, beer, and food. All of this mess, because your guest does not clean up after himself. Sometimes, he doesn’t even flush the toilet after using the bathroom and he leaves soiled pots and pans on the counters and in the sink. All in all, your home has become a dirty, stinking, filthy mess. How does this make you feel towards your house guest?
 
Now consider another kind of house guest. Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a different person for a few days while you were away. When you return you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified to the extent that it is in far better condition than when you first left. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. You find yourself looking forward to going home and wanting to spend more time in your home, because of how much more wonderful it has become. How wonderful would you feel and how likely would you be to help and do nice things for this person in the future? Most likely, you would want to become more a part of the person’s life, desire to do more to contribute to his or her life, and make the individual feel warmly welcome to come back and visit in the future.
 
Well, the spiritual world operates in very much the same fashion whether your belief system involves God, the universe, or some other higher power or spiritual representation. The more you express genuine appreciation the more love, peace, and happiness you will experience and have to be appreciative of ~ the spiritual world continually rewarding your appreciation with more to be appreciative of and showering with love, peace, and happiness the lives of those “house guests” here on this planet who are kind, mindful, considerate, and appreciative of the hospitality extended to them by the most gracious of givers. Those who generously offer kind and mindful contributions to the world for the benefit of all of our creator’s creations ~ making the earth a better and more pleasant place for all who share our planet.
 
Fortunately, for us ~ with respect to the unwelcome guest scenario presented towards the beginning of this section above ~ we can resolve situations such as this long before they get too out of hand and without too much effort. We have a police force that can serve and protect us, negotiate threatening situations, and keep offenders from returning. If only nature and less fortunate persons had others looking out for them in similar ways. Such hardship is unnecessarily created just so people can live more comfortably and conveniently. However, many of us are not mindful of this and do not carry this awareness.
 
Through kindness, lovingness, and mindfulness we can create a wonderful, new world:
 
~ A world in which we realize we are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and deserves to be free from fear, pain, suffering, and death.
 
~ A world in which we LOVE-AND-CHERISH-AND-OPEN-OUR-HEARTS towards other living and breathing beings as we do towards ourselves.
 
We can become more mindful. We can become more respectful. We can become more considerate and make kinder choices. We can love, and appreciate, and cherish all of life and generously share our world with other living and breathing beings. We can purge our homes of that unwelcome guest and assist all of our fellow, innocent, living and breathing beings in doing the same by becoming the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests in loving appreciation for the wonderful lives and the hospitality we have all been graciously granted. We can achieve this by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions.
 
The earth has historically been a holocaust of animal farming and production, animal exploitation, and animal science and testing ~ hardships unnecessarily created for nature just so people can: live more comfortably and conveniently, build and expand, reap profits and rewards, advertise products and services, and be entertained. Other living and breathing beings are continuously exploited and forced to suffer their entire lives to support the interests of the advertisement and entertainment industries, the research community, and the food, clothing, and dairy production industries. However, we can create a better world today for all who share our planet. We are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and we can love and care for other living and breathing beings as we do for ourselves.
 
 
So, the above story summarizes my philosophy on life. I believe life is such a wonderful gift and we are all guests here on this planet. Guests of God’s (or our higher power’s) hospitality. This is one reason why I am ever so thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life I get to share with other living and breathing beings who share our planet. Thus, I make an effort each and every day to express my appreciation and gratitude. One of the primary ways I do this is by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions. Whenever we live our lives in this fashion we create peace and happiness within our own lives, within the lives of others, and within the world which surrounds us.
 
In my own life I choose to live mindfully in a variety of ways to include: minimizing waste, living in moderation, relishing all of life (humans and nonhumans alike), and making a positive imprint to make the world of today and the world of tomorrow a better place. I see one of my primary purposes in life as one of offering and promoting happiness, appreciation, and well-being for the benefit of all living and breathing beings including:
 
~ loving, respecting, appreciating, and living in harmony with the earth and all who share her,
 
~ extending love, warmth, and kindness to others, and
 
~ living kindly and mindfully so as not to cause pain, suffering, or harm.
 
Everything that surrounds us has been loaned to us by the most gracious of givers: God, the universe, and/or our higher power. As such, there is nothing in this world that we truly own. Even our lives have been loaned to us. So let’s make the most of our lives and strive to become the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests while living here on this planet.
 
I have the strongest desire to be that gracious, kind, and mindful guest. As such, each and every day I strive to live ever more mindfully and to contribute to the world which surrounds me. I encourage you to do the same. What a wonderful world we could all share if each and every one of us contributed in these regards.

HAPPINESS TIP: BE WHO YOU ARE NOT MATTER WHAT!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
Here’s a simple tip for experiencing true happiness throughout the days, weeks, years, and decades of your life: 1) Discover who you are (or keep exploring until you do), 2) Embrace and be okay with who you are, and 3) Be who you are in all of its color and glory (no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise!).
 
If you do this, you will live an authentic life filled with all of the happiness, peace, freedom, and excitement you could possibly hope for. It is YOUR life experience (and nobody else’s)! Live it that way!
 
A few years ago, a woman I met seemed a bit embarrassed about being “a geek”. Well, I told her to embrace that quality, hold her head high, and be a geek with a capital G! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with discovering who you are and being who you are. So, always remember that!
 
Another aspect of being who you are is the positive effect if can have on others. For example, people frequently tell me that I have a calming effect on them when they are in my presence. Many times, because of this people like being around me even if all we do is sit and enjoy the silence. It’s so wonderful being appreciated that way. But I wouldn’t be able to create this positive effect if I wasn’t true to myself and didn’t lead an authentic life.

Now, what some people may not understand about me is that I do a lot of things on my own and enjoy it. Although, many times I’m alone, I’m not lonely, and I’m actually happy. So, while I greatly appreciate the polite gestures I sometimes receive I’m really just being me and I’m happy being me.

For example, recently I went to the movies and was the only person there. Many people would have freaked out a little about that, but I was like, “Wow! How nice! I have the entire movie theater to myself!”.

So, find out who you are, be okay with who you are, and be who you are no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. If you do, you will feel happy and at peace for much of the time. And you will have this peace and happiness to offer to others. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Arrive Happier Than When the Journey Began

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way in which to live a happier life is to enjoy the process of getting there instead of focusing so much on end goals or destinations. There are frequently many opportunities for enjoyment, reflection, and relaxation all along the way which people do not take advantage of because of the stresses and negativities they tend to create by focusing solely on their end goals, dreams, or destinations and the potential periodic impact to these due to life’s happenings overall.

One thing that I frequently recommend to people, regarding the process of change, is to start small by planting seeds and gently moving in the direction of the changes they desire, perhaps within ordinary day-to-day activities, and then growing from there. For example, someone who wants to become a more disciplined person overall might start out by getting into the practice of becoming more disciplined in his or her daily routine and then growing from there. Over time he or she might experience not only a disciplined routine, but disciplined spending habits, disciplined work and business practices, disciplined health and fitness activities, and a disciplined life overall.

So how might one apply such a “plant the seeds” approach towards enjoying the process instead of merely focusing on end goals or destinations? Well, one way to get into this practice might be taking an ordinary thing that you do nearly each and every day and transforming it into an opportunity for promoting positive experiences such as viewing your modes of transportation, whether by car, by bus, by plane, or by train, as places for rest, relaxation, enjoyment, and reflection instead of purely as a means for getting there. If you do this you will look forward to these moments as places where you can be alone with your thoughts and might even experience joy and smile while reflecting on the positive aspects of your life, things that you can feel good about, that which you love and appreciate, the pleasant recent happenings of your life, reminiscing about the past, doing something else enjoyable, and perhaps even daydreaming a little. If you get into the practice of doing this you will feel more positive and relaxed upon reaching your destination whether you are starting your work day, winding down from work and going home, or arriving at some other location.

When doing this try out different approaches for creating a more peaceful and enjoyable environment for traveling to and from such as the use of relaxing, inspirational, or uplifting music, humor, audiobooks, or simply silence. If you are someone who tends to be late then try getting into the practice of waking up and leaving ten minutes or so earlier. The wonderful, peaceful, enjoyable, relaxed state of mind you will experience will be well worth the small sacrifice. Alternate between each of these approaches until you find something that works well for you. Some people find one approach that works so well for them that they want to keep doing it while others prefer variations and like to switch things up. Experiment a bit and then do whatever works best for you. Simply make it your goal to feel happier and more relaxed, on a regular basis, upon reaching your destination than when you first started the journey.

Another technique which can be helpful in these regards includes imagining that someone who you love dearly is traveling with you at the time such as a pet, a child, a significant other, or a grandparent or other relative that you love and appreciate. People tend to be more patient, cautious, humble, and relaxed when traveling with those that they love and appreciate so this can be a good approach to employ from time to time. Still another technique which might be helpful in these regards is when you witness offensive behavior at times, such as someone cutting in front of you, imagining the person is someone that you greatly love and care about who might exhibit similar qualities in some situations or perhaps even imagining situations in which you might behave in a similar fashion.

These are all wonderful ways in which to make your modes of transportation more pleasant, fun, relaxing, and safe. It can give you something to look forward to each and every day and is a small way in which to “plant the seeds” for getting you more into the practice of enjoying the process; allowing you to feel happier and more relaxed upon reaching your destination than before the journey began. Start by doing this for ordinary things that you do nearly each and every day such as traveling to and from and then grow from there. Eventually you will get to the point where you focus more on enjoying the process for multiple aspects of your life, such as the journey towards your goals and dreams, instead of purely focusing on destinations or end goals. What a wonderful life we could all enjoy and share if we each lived more in this fashion.

I hope this article will inspire some of you to live a happier life. I don’t care what approach you ultimately choose to use so long as it promotes greater peace, happiness, and enjoyment both within yourself and towards others. Just choose a pleasant, happy, enjoyable one.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

How to Create a Sense of Joy, Peace, Inspiration, and Adventure In Your Life Through Mindfulness and Intention

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article presents one way in which to create greater joy, peace, fun, and inspiration in your life by mindfully and intentionally slowing down a bit and moving at a patient, enjoyable, leisurely pace from time to time; creating a sense of unrestricted, childlike freedom, wonder, mystery, curiosity, exploration, interest, and adventure in the process. Can you simply let go every once in awhile, relinquish control, and be open to allowing things to unfold mysteriously, in any manner that they might, and then gently and lovingly responding accordingly to whatever happens however it happens? Some of this might involve being receptive to changes in plans, activities, and routines such as being amenable to doing different kinds of things or going to different places or locations than you usually might. Some of this might even involve doing the same kinds of activities, but being open to experiencing them differently such as modifying them a bit to make them more enjoyable, fulfilling, or inspirational in nature, processing them differently, performing them at different times, or changing routes to experience alternate perspectives. Try living your life in this fashion, from time to time, and notice how soothing, peaceful, and enjoyable it feels whenever you are able to do this.

Anytime that I operate in this manner I tell myself that it will be interesting to see what happens, interesting to see who I might come into contact with, and interesting to see how things might play out. I ponder who I might see along the way or how differently things might look or feel. So experience the release. Experience the joy. And experience the fresh, free-wheeling, free-spirited fun. Be open, fluid, and flexible, for moments at a time, knowing that any slight change or variation can introduce new experiences, new faces that you might come across, a change in scenery, and widely varied sources of inspiration if you are receptive to these. Engage your imagination and creativity, in these moments, allowing them to play a little and to run wild and free. Be observant and reflective and be childlike and playful in nature by deeply and fully experiencing the wonder, the magic, and the mystery that such moments can bring. Marvel with eyes of wonder and allow yourself to become absorbed in your surroundings, your inspiration, and in your experiences. Maintain an open, peaceful, observant, reflective, and relaxed state of mind throughout this process. Try doing this for yourself from time to time and notice how wonderful it feels. Then start mindfully and intentionally doing this a little more often in your life. Plant these seeds of change and watch them blossom into an abundance of joy, peace, fun, freedom, inspiration, and adventure in your life. Aspects which will benefit not only yourself, but also others who surround you. What a wonderful life we could all share if we lived more of our lives in this fashion instead of always moving at a stressful, hurried, painful pace the way that we so often do.

You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the joy, peace, fun, freedom, inspiration, and adventure you can possibly imagine by spending more of your life moving at a patient, pleasurable, leisurely pace instead at a painful, stressful, hurried pace. So try doing this for yourself if you can. And if you need any help with this you know who to ask.

This article describes one way in which create a life full of joy, peace, fun, and inspiration in your life by slowing down a bit, from time to time, and moving at a patient, enjoyable, leisurely pace. I hope that some of you will find this article to be helpful. To date I’ve written several articles related to creating and living a happier life. Click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) if you would like to read some of these other articles for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in life if you think they might be helpful to you or to others in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

For those that do not know, I perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that soon I will write an article which will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with either of the two primary areas that I actively perform life coaching in. You can learn more about each of these areas by clicking on the menu, footer, and sidebar items.

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

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Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

A Quick and Easy Technique For Creating Happiness, Peace, and Relaxation

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article shares a quick and easy technique that I frequently I use for creating happiness, peace, and relaxation. With the holiday season rapidly approaching, and the stress and chaos that it often brings, this might be just the thing some of you need to achieve greater joy, peace, and relaxation throughout the holidays (and beyond). The process I use is a simple two step process:

(1) Create a series of “reflective” playlists, of songs from your younger days, which promote happiness, peace, and relaxation. The songs may not necessarily be songs that you particularly enjoyed back then, but songs that others in your life may have listened to. The time frames that work best for me are the playlist of songs between my ages of 6 and 9 and another playlist of songs between my ages of 10 and 12, but also try creating playlists of songs of your teenage years and perhaps even your college years or other timeframes so long as they promote feelings of peace, happiness, and relaxation while perhaps avoiding those timeframes which do not. Prioritize each of your playlists such that the songs that promote the greatest joy, peace, and relaxation for you are at the top of each playlist. This ensures that when you are time constrained that you will at least get a chance to listen to those songs which sooth you most.

(2) Play one of your playlists at extremely low volume. It should sound almost like a pale, distant echo from another room. I find the best relaxation effect is created by disconnecting the speakers from my computer and using the internal speaker at low volume to create this effect. I’ve also used my Ipad for this purpose (again using the internal speaker only at extremely low volume). There’s something about the slight distant hint of these songs playing that promotes the joy, peace, and relaxation effect. So try this.

You can do this when doing things around the home, when driving, or at other times. Notice the joy, peace, and relaxation you experience whenever you do this. Try out each of your “reflective” playlists and use those that work best for you more frequently than the others and rearrange the songs such that those that are the most soothing to you remain at the top of these lists. What I often like to do is to play one of these playlists in this fashion while soaking in a warm bath. I then towel off, restart the playlist, and lie down in bed to relax while listening to the pale, faint, distant echoes of the music. Sometimes I’ll rest for about 30 minutes or so and at other times I’ll simply go to sleep for what always amounts to a deep, peaceful, restful sleep. Either way, when I get out of bed I am filled with joy and peace. And it lasts for hours. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

This article describes one way in which to rapidly experience greater happiness, peace, and relaxation in your life. I encourage you to give this a try. It works wonders for me. I hope it works well for you as well. Other articles that I’ve written related to creating and living a happier life include:
(1) Creating Healthy Boundaries in Relationship Situations
(2) Living Mindfully and Intentionally, Being Clear Headed and Open-Minded, and Releasing the Need to be Right or Defensive
(3) Keeping Life Enjoyable, Interesting, and Fun By Breaking Out of the Routine of Things
(4) Achieving Greater Peace and Happiness By Evaluating, Prioritizing, and Adjusting Life Activities
(5) A Wonderful Way to Gain a Greater Appreciation of Others

Feel free to read some of these other articles if you think they might be helpful in helping you to experience greater warmth, peace, and happiness in your life.

For those that do not know, I generally perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that the next article that I write will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC

Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with personal improvement, development, or growth as this is one of the areas that I actively perform life coaching in. Also feel free to click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in your life.

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Living Mindfully and Intentionally, Being Clear-Headed and Open-Minded, and Releasing the Need to be Right or Defensive

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article is about living more mindfully and intentionally, being more clear-headed and open-minded, and releasing the need to be “right” or defensive. Part of this involves acknowledging and understanding that just because we, or others in our lives, express a certain belief, opinion, or criticism about something this does not mean it is necessarily or absolutely true. It might appear to be true based on someone’s individual experiences, knowledge, or perceptions at the time but one’s individual set of experiences, knowledge, and perceptions are only a small subset of the possible set of those which exist. Carrying this realization can go a long way in becoming a more understanding, compassionate, and forgiving person towards others (and towards yourself for that matter), and for living a happier, more peaceful life. 

What I often tell people in situations where they feel they have been wrongly judged, criticized, or treated unkindly in some fashion is to first take some time to get clear on what their ideal end result would be in such a situation before responding with action. Otherwise, they might end up creating the opposite effect from what they might truly desire. In situations such as this, simply get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these.

Many times in life, our most desired end result involves some form of love, warmth, closeness, and community with others. When this is the case, use your ideal vision of what you truly desire to guide your actions rather than your ego’s vision of wanting to be right, or to be a victim, by its focus on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. If you operate in this fashion you will get much closer to what you truly desire in life or at least be able to feel good in knowing you did your part in these regards.

Of course, there is always the other side of the equation associated with how others will respond to your good intentions. However, this is something you have little control over. Simply do your part, feel good about the actions you’ve taken to date (and continue taking them), and don’t worry about what you cannot control. Others often get held hostage by their egos just as we sometimes have in the past. So, try to be patient, forgiving, and accepting towards them. Just do your part to get closer to what you want and patiently wait for others to respond accordingly.

Most likely the actions you will want to take, in situations where your most desired end result involves creating greater love, warmth, closeness, and community with others, would primarily involve some form of loving-kindness towards others by bringing a successful resolution to the situation at hand in a kind and loving manner and improving your relationship. Many times, however, people do the opposite – focusing instead on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, or wrongdoing. But if we operate in this fashion we will end up creating distance in our relationships instead of the closeness we might truly desire.

Suppose, for example, someone criticized you for something you said or did. If you focus solely on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing the person caused, you will often reciprocate an amplified version of this hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. And this reciprocation process can continue, back and forth, for days, weeks, and even months and years if you allow things to really get out of hand. Your ego will feel vindicated but you will end up at the opposite end of the spectrum from where you truly desired to be – creating distance instead of the closeness you would have otherwise wanted had you acted in accordance with your true desires.

Sometimes this process also involves challenging yourself to understand the other person’s perspective – realizing that based on the person’s individual experiences, knowledge, and perceptions, things might have appeared the way they did (whether you agree with them or not). This can allow you to gain a better perspective and understanding and perhaps even allow you to grow or improve in some regard.

Several years ago, I helped someone with a personal relationship situation using this very approach. He had been dating someone for a few months before they started having problems. So, we talked more about it and he concluded that his most desired end result would be working things out and creating a stronger, warmer relationship with the person.

Now, another aspect of all of this involves making a decision, while we are clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with that decision for some period of time until we decide to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide. So, in this situation, where someone made a clear-headed decision to work things out and create a warmer relationship, the person would ensure his or her follow-on thoughts, communications, and actions were consistent with that decision – saying “yes” to thoughts, communications, and actions which moved him or her closer to what was decided and “no” to those which did not. So, if the person detected negative thoughts, communications, or actions towards his or her partner, then he or she would regroup, remember and honor the decision made, and then remind himself/herself that these are inconsistent with the decision made, release these, and focus on creating something more positive. If you do this it will simplify your life and ensure consistent and steady progress towards the decisions you make.

Well, as it turned out, the person I helped above was at a pivotal point in his relationship. He was ready to just end the relationship right there until he talked with me about it. He then used the above process and now, years later, he is still in the same relationship and they are happier than they ever have been. That’s the power of this process. It can really change your life.

Now, there exist some situations in life where, out of self-love and self-preservation, the most desired end result might involve creating greater distance from certain others – especially those who tend to be detrimental towards us. Again, for these kinds of situations, get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these. In situations involving a desire to create distance from situations which are detrimental towards you, it can be helpful to focus intently on, and perhaps even amplify or exaggerate, the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing experienced to provide you with the strength and reminders needed to create, and remain committed to maintaining, this distance. This aspect also involves making a decision, while clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with it for some period of time until a decision is made to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide.

Each of these situations essentially involves the same process: getting yourself into a quiet place, taking some time to mindfully contemplate and formulate what your ideal end result would be, making a clear-headed decision, and allowing this vision/decision to guide your actions in a mindful, intentional fashion instead of in a mindless, reactive one which is the default position many people take. You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the love, warmth, happiness, and peace you can possibly imagine by living mindfully and intentionally instead of in a mindless and reactive fashion. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

Brighter Days 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Keep Life Enjoyable, Interesting, and Fun By Breaking Out of the Routine of Things

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

A good way to keep life fresh, fun, enjoyable, and interesting is to break out of the routine of things every once in a while. One good way to do this is to take what I often refer to as a “free weekend” where once a month or so you spend a weekend doing new things or things you greatly enjoy to include those you haven’t done in a while to break out of the routine of things: No cleaning, no project or maintenance work, no schedules, and no other kinds of work. Only fun doing new activities you’ve never done before that you would like to try out or activities you know you already greatly enjoy to include those that you don’t get to do very often. Since many people tend to be routine oriented, myself included, breaking out of the routine can be fun and exciting from time to time and can be just what you need to relax, rejuvenate, and re-energize yourself to maintain the motivation and stamina you need to meet your ongoing life demands and challenges.

When I began implementing this monthly “free weekend” activity it became such a wonderful, enjoyable experience for me and always gave me something to look forward to. I’ve done everything from going to the beach, going to plays and movies, going hot air ballooning, going bike riding, relaxing by the pool, doing some creative writing, going canoeing, doing some enjoyable reading, engaging in movie marathons at home, going to concerts, going to charming cities and towns, going to lakes and parks, exploring creativity via music and art, getting psychic readings, going out to new restaurants and cafes, getting massages and spa treatments, going to events, going to theme parks, going shopping, renting scooters, going to farmer’s markets, spending quality time with friends and family, and countless other activities. It’s so wonderful not having a schedule – doing whatever you want, whenever you want, and going to bed and sleeping in as late as you want. The only rule is that there are no rules aside from enjoying yourself and having fun.

Sometimes my “free weekends” were filled with new and exciting activities, sometimes they were filled with activities I already greatly enjoy, sometimes they were filled with low key, relaxation activities, and sometimes they were filled with a combination of these. All in all, I generally had such a wonderful time during my “free weekends” and got to do pretty much everything that I wanted to do. It felt so enjoyable, peaceful, and freeing doing this for myself from time to time and I encourage each and every one of you to give this a try by taking a “free weekend” for yourselves every once in a while. It’s such a wonderful experience.

I frequently tell people to reward themselves all along the way towards their dreams and goals and when performing their regular life activities. And taking a “free weekend” from time to time can do just that. It’s something that I’ve really enjoyed over the years. So do this for yourself from time to time if you can.

Now… While I fully encourage and embrace the idea of taking a “free weekend” from time to time, I know that there are some people out there who do things like this all of the time – often to the point that they lack progress in other areas of their lives. If you happen to be one of these people then I would encourage you to do the opposite by perhaps taking a “productivity weekend” once a month or so focused on making progress. Once you get in the practice of doing this progress will become easier and more consistent for you.

This article describes one way in which to keep life fresh, fun, enjoyable, and interesting, and rewarding yourself along the way, by breaking out of the routine of things from time to time. I hope that some of you will do this for yourselves every once in a while.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

Brighter Days 1

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

 

Achieve Greater Happiness By Prioritizing Life Activities

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One of the keys to happiness involves mindfully and intentionally ensuring the activities you perform on a day-to-day basis contribute, or add value, to your life in some fashion. I always tell people to make it a regular practice to evaluate the activities they perform on a day-to-day basis to make this determination and continue those activities which do contribute, or add value, to their lives while eliminating or reducing their participation in those which do not. By mindfully and intentionally living in this fashion, you will begin to remove the “clutter” from your life and achieve greater peace, happiness, and balance throughout the days, weeks, months, and years of your life.

In my own life, I performed such an evaluation and came to realize I spent a significant amount of time on social media, obsessively reading everyone’s posts, without realizing how much time it consumed. I am glad that I broke that “addiction” and encourage some of you to give it a try if you experience similar compulsions. I’ve been so much more productive and made so much more progress since letting this go. So, make it a regular practice to mindfully and intentionally evaluate the activities you perform, prioritize these, and make adjustments accordingly.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

Brighter Days 1
Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life