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Live Your Own Life and Your Life Only

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Live your own life, and your life only, no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince you otherwise. Many people who experience unhappiness in their lives do so, because  they are living other people’s lives and not their own. And often they are not even aware they are doing this.

This is your life and your journey. Treat it as such by finding out who you are and what you want and live that way by being true to yourself such that you live an authentic life. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel when you live this way.

And if you are not to the point in your life where you know who you are and what you truly want, then simply explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. I frequently tell people that exploration and adventure is the spice of life. So continue doing these kinds of things as well.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you start living your own life. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus On What You Have Instead of What You’ve Lost

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost. Especially if you’re going through a period of stress, anxiety, depression, sadness, or other forms of unhappiness and negativity. This goes for the people in your life, the relationships you have, your finances, and your possessions.

For those select times when you decide you truly want to focus on a loss (such as a period following a break-up), allow it, but do it in a mindful fashion instead of in an automated, reactive fashion the way people often do. Mindfully decide to do it and mindfully decide for how long. Then get back to enjoying your life and focusing on what you have in your life.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you do this. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus on How You Most Want to Feel and Then Offer That to Others

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
HAPPINESS TIP: Here’s a quick happiness tip for those who might be experiencing a period of stress, negativity, or unhappiness: Instead of focusing on how horrible you feel, focus on how you most want to feel and then offer that to others. So, for example, if you feel lonely or unappreciated and most want more love and appreciation in your life, then give more love and appreciation. You will be amazed at how much love and appreciation comes back to you when you do this. Anytime you graciously and selflessly offer to others that which you want for yourself, it will come back to you in overwhelming abundance.
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

 

Practice and Value Open-Mindedness, Kindness, and Compassion

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Those who know me pretty well know that some of the things I value are patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. Perhaps the only things I am strongly against are strong opinions and beliefs.

It’s a sad, sad fact that many people would rather ruin relationships with others and hold on rigidly to their present beliefs and opinions than entertain or even tolerate alternate viewpoints.

And the other sad fact is the beliefs and opinions people hold so dearly today often change over time which means that they might have carelessly thrown away potentially valuable relationships for nothing. Don’t do this to yourself or anyone else. Never underestimate the value of patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. Even when we presently disagree with others on certain topics that does not mean we cannot say to those others: “Right now I disagree with you, but I respect your present opinion or belief and love and care about and wish you well” with the understanding that over time, if we are open-minded enough, opinions and beliefs can change.

So many treat every topic or issue as an “all or nothing” kind of thing, but most things in life are not that way. There can be an element of “truth” and “possibility” and “rightness” and “understanding” on every side of a topic or issue. What a wonderful world we could all share if we each understood this and practiced open-mindedness, kindness, and compassion on a regular basis.

Well, a book I recently read, Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” highlights some good reasons to embrace values such as patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion:

Always being right is a horrible value to have because:

“We consistently make poor assumptions, …, misremember facts, give in to cognitive biases, and make decisions based on emotional whims. As humans, we’re wrong pretty much constantly … People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes and … close themselves off to new and important information.”

“Most of our beliefs are wrong. Or, to be more exact, all beliefs are wrong—some are just less wrong than others. The human mind is a jumble of inaccuracy. “

There is no way to love, kindness, peace, and happiness. Love, kindness, peace, and happiness is the way. So embrace and be that today, tomorrow, and every day that follows.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

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A Quick and Easy Way to Evaluate Your Romantic Relationship

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

 

Here’s a quick and easy way to evaluate your present romantic relationship:

Consider the romantic relationships of others you have known throughout your entire life. They can be those that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. Select the one you consider to be the best or most positive relationship out of all of these. Assign a value of 10 to this.

Next consider the most positive periods of relationships you’ve had in the past. Again these can be relationships that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. You do not want to consider the entire relationships (since they are now over), but the most positive periods of each. Following this, select what you consider to be the most positive period out of all of these past relationships. On a scale of 1-10, assign a score to the most positive period you selected with the understanding that a score of 10 represents the most positive relationship, throughout your entire life, of someone you’ve known (as performed in the previous paragraph). For illustration purposes, let’s assume that you assign a value of 7 to this.

Lastly, consider how your present relationship compares to the most positive period of the relationship above (i.e., how much better or worse is your present relationship with respect to the one you might have assigned a “7” to in the previous paragraph). If your present relationship is better than the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value between 7 and 10 depending on how your present relationship relates to the conditions in the previous paragraphs above associated with the scores of 7 and 10.  If your present relationship is not as good as the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value below 7 depending on how much worse the present relationship relates to the condition in the previous paragraph above associated with the score of 7.

Assessing your romantic relationships in the above fashion can be helpful because: 1) if it scores highly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to become more appreciative towards your present relationship and motivate you to express that appreciation more often and in multiple ways, 2) if it scores moderately on the 1-10 scale it can cause you to reflect on the more positive relationships (or the more positive periods in your past relationships) and motivate you to take  steps to improve your present relationship, and 3) if it scores poorly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to take steps to remove yourself from the relationship so that you can be available to find one that is more positive.

The above process can also be helpful to perform when faced with major life decisions with respect to romantic relationships. For example, if you are faced with the prospect of marriage or perhaps moving to another city so you can be with your romantic partner, then this can help you to quickly determine whether or not it might be something worthwhile to seriously consider.

Each of these are wonderful ways in which performing this assessment can be helpful. So make sure that you do this from time to time in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Create Excitement Through Synergy and Opportunity

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I frequently tell people there is synergy and opportunity in most everything in life. Even things you might not be very excited or motivated about. You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on it. The first step to this “recognize, create, and capitalize” process is awareness. What motivates or excites you? What do you truly value or enjoy in life? What knowledge, training, experiences, or skills might interest you or get you closer to where you long to be in life? These are some of the questions you might ask yourself when performing such an inquiry. Listen for and be open to the possibilities. Then make a list of what comes to you and listen for more possibilities. Then revise the list and listen for more  possibilities. And once you think your list is final listen once more for the possibilities and revise the list again. Then prioritize your list by placing that which you are most excited about or long for most towards the top. Eventually you will get to the point where you will no longer need a list – you will simply know these things without even having to think about them. But you can repeat this process anytime you want to open yourself up to new possibilities.


Once you gain this awareness it will be easier for you to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning those activities you already perform with that which you truly want for yourself. For example, someone might complain about feeling bored at work or at home. But anytime you experience periods others might describe as boring or unproductive in nature, you will recognize these as opportunities to work towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. You can simply go down the list from the highest  priority item at the top and work your way down until you identify something which might be feasible to work towards depending on where you are and what you are doing at the time. Eventually, those periods  of boredom and unproductivity will disappear completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Right now I have time to work towards…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list). And you can make steady progress whether it’s learning a foreign language, trying out new skills or experiences, investigating potential travel destinations, learning about finance and investing, researching a new business or career, or exploring new ideas.

As another example, someone might be unhappy about all of the hours they have to work. But whenever you work extra hours you might recognize this as an opportunity to accumulate additional resources to put towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. This additional money might come from: 1) the income earned for the extra hours worked, 2) the savings generated by not having time to spend the money earned,  or 3) a combination of these. Once the busy period expires you might be able to purchase one or more of the desired items or experiences on your list. Eventually, those periods of unhappiness will vanish completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Working these extra hours will allow me to purchase…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list).

So the above are two examples of how these ideas might be applied by taking the former “negative” perception and transforming that into something that you truly want for yourself, something you can feel good and motivated about, and something you can look forward to. Anytime you are able to transform the “negative” into something more positive you will feel happier and better about yourself and your life. So always make a concerted effort to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning the activities you perform with that which you truly want for yourself.

Recently, a woman I talked with was dreading the thought of having to drive to Missouri to attend an event in a rural area. After talking with her a bit more I learned that something she was excited and motivated about in life was travel. So, I suggested that perhaps she should consider the event as an opportunity to explore a few places along the way and back. She could perhaps leave a few days early and explore cities such as Memphis and spend a few days on the way back exploring other cities such as St. Louis or other places she might have interest in. She had  been so focused on the “dreaded” event that she failed to recognize the potential opportunities presented. It’s easy to lose sight of such synergies and opportunities when you heavily focus on the source of displeasure, negativity, or discontent. Many things in life are that way. So always try to broaden your perspective and transform the negative into something more positive.

Opportunities and synergies present themselves each and every day.  You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on them. So gain and maintain awareness of that which excites, motivates, and interests you and brings you happiness. And incorporate these aspects into your day to day activities as the opportunities arise. If you do this you will feel motivated and inspired and experience great happiness, fulfillment, and contentment for much of the time. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: BE WHO YOU ARE NOT MATTER WHAT!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
Here’s a simple tip for experiencing true happiness throughout the days, weeks, years, and decades of your life: 1) Discover who you are (or keep exploring until you do), 2) Embrace and be okay with who you are, and 3) Be who you are in all of its color and glory (no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise!).
 
If you do this, you will live an authentic life filled with all of the happiness, peace, freedom, and excitement you could possibly hope for. It is YOUR life experience (and nobody else’s)! Live it that way!
 
A few years ago, a woman I met seemed a bit embarrassed about being “a geek”. Well, I told her to embrace that quality, hold her head high, and be a geek with a capital G! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with discovering who you are and being who you are. So, always remember that!
 
Another aspect of being who you are is the positive effect if can have on others. For example, people frequently tell me that I have a calming effect on them when they are in my presence. Many times, because of this people like being around me even if all we do is sit and enjoy the silence. It’s so wonderful being appreciated that way. But I wouldn’t be able to create this positive effect if I wasn’t true to myself and didn’t lead an authentic life.

Now, what some people may not understand about me is that I do a lot of things on my own and enjoy it. Although, many times I’m alone, I’m not lonely, and I’m actually happy. So, while I greatly appreciate the polite gestures I sometimes receive I’m really just being me and I’m happy being me.

For example, recently I went to the movies and was the only person there. Many people would have freaked out a little about that, but I was like, “Wow! How nice! I have the entire movie theater to myself!”.

So, find out who you are, be okay with who you are, and be who you are no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. If you do, you will feel happy and at peace for much of the time. And you will have this peace and happiness to offer to others. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Test Drive Before You Buy (Goals and Experiences Too!)

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

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Over the past week and a half, I took a road trip in this Mustang convertible. I went to Savannah, Hilton Head, back to Orlando, then to Georgetown SC, Myrtle Beach, and Raleigh. I then went to Charleston and Jacksonville FL before coming back home.

Driving a convertible on a lengthy road trip was something that I’ve wanted to do for years now and I finally did it. This is an illustration of something that I frequently tell people for living a happier life: Test drive before you buy – goals and experiences too! That is, see if you can find a way to simulate the experiences you think you might want before making major purchases or before investing a lot of time, effort, and resources so that you can better ensure they represent what you truly want.

For example, one of the reasons why I wanted to rent a convertible was because I had contemplated buying one and wanted to see if this might be in my future. So this provided a low cost option for trying it out first. You can test drive other experiences in a similar fashion.

For example, If you think you might like to live in San Diego, then take a couple of lengthy trips there on ordinary average days or weeks, in ordinary average locations, to see what it might be like to live there on a day-to-day or a week-to-week basis.

If you think you might enjoy not working then take a few weeks off and stay in your local area doing ordinary average things to see if this might truly appeal to you or whether you just needed a break. A number of retirees thought retirement was something they truly wanted only to find themselves feeling bored, noncontributory, and unproductive. Perhaps if they had simulated the retirement experience first they might have come to this realization and instead continued working on a part time basis, worked a different type of job, or contributed in some other fashion.

If you think you might really enjoy teaching then perhaps volunteer at a local school to see if this is something you truly want before pursuing a degree in education. You can perform similar kinds of activities for other career fields to include healthcare, business, and hospitality. Years ago I thought I might like to become a teacher so I simulated the experience by providing presentations on my work in virtual reality based research and technology at various local high schools. After spending time in the classrooms and talking to teachers I realized it was not something I would enjoy as much as I had originally imagined. I thought I would enjoy the students, but not so much the administrative and preparation work or all the time spent outside of class grading papers, projects, and tests, and supporting all of the extracurricular activities and events. I’m happy that I learned that lesson prior to investing the time, resources, and effort to make it happen.

And I’m happy that I rented the convertible for my road trip. Because I came to the realization that, although a fun vehicle to drive, it would be more of a toy I’d enjoy taking out every once in a while and not something I would want to drive all the time. So, I’d be better off by perhaps getting a used convertible, as a second car, just for fun. Another option might be to rent a three wheeler to see if that might be something I would enjoy instead.

So many people expend a substantial amount of time, effort, and resources on creating the life they think they want only to discover that it’s not what they truly want at all. Don’t do this to yourself. Always seek to test drive the goals and experiences you think you might want before making major purchases or investing a lot of time, effort, and resources to make sure that they represent your true desires. If you do this then you will live a happier, more productive life. So seek to do this often in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Create Happiness and Abundance Through Appreciation

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way in which to create happiness and abundance is through appreciation; appreciation of who you are, appreciation of what you have, and appreciation of who you have in your life. The more you fill your life with appreciation the happier you will feel and the more rewarding your life will become. Three ways to achieve appreciation include thinking good, doing good, and being good.

Thinking good involves having positive thoughts towards yourself, towards others, and towards the earth/universe whether focusing on the past, present, or future.

Doing good involves making positive contributions towards others and towards your surroundings.

Being good involves having a positive disposition and a good hearted nature as well as a high level of integrity.

Filling your life with appreciation in these regards not only creates a happier you, but also creates happier surroundings and abundance throughout the days, months, and years of your life.

Consider this: Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a house guest while you were away. When you return you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified to the extent that it is in far better condition than when you first left. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. How wonderful would you feel and how likely would you be to help and do nice things for this person in the future? Well, the spiritual world operates in very much the same fashion whether your belief system involves God, the universe, or some other higher power or spiritual representation. The more you express genuine appreciation the more you will have in your life to be appreciative of; the spiritual world continually responding to your appreciation by blessing you with more to be appreciative of.

In my own life, I have experienced abundance through multiple channels. For example, I’ve earned an average of 37% per year in the stock market since 2010 which is a five year gain (on average) in each and every year. I have handily beat each of the stock market indices and most, if not all, fund managers and investment firms. Perhaps the success I’ve experienced to date has more to do with the universe blessing me in response towards my appreciation in my attempts to think good, do good, and be good for much of the time and less to do with my investment experience and expertise; a part time experience and expertise which pales in comparison with that of fund managers and investment companies who perform this kind of work on a regular full time basis and have done so for decades or longer. I’m not saying that what I’ve learned about financial management and investing, and the techniques and strategies I’ve developed, evolved, and employed over time, have not contributed to my success in these regards. I’m just saying that there might be something more to the picture. Thus, perhaps this appreciation concept is something worth pondering and carefully considering in your own life.

Now, one way that I express appreciation involves reducing waste through conservation and actively reusing or recycling items to the greatest extent possible. For example, I seek to minimize my use of paper, plastic, and power and actively collect recyclables as I come across them whether walking, running, or performing other day to day activities. Every time I do this, I express appreciation to the universe for all it has blessed me with in the beautiful, wonderful life that I get to enjoy each and every day. In this fashion, I am much like that appreciative house guest I mentioned earlier; creating a cleaner, more beautiful, and more sustainable planet over time in joyful appreciation of the happy life and surroundings that have been so generously loaned to me for all of my days by the most gracious of givers. And the universe continues to bless me for my appreciation.

So always remember: The more you express appreciation the more you will have in your life to be appreciative of. Not only will you feel happier just in realizing how much you presently have in your life to be thankful for and appreciative of, but you will create happier surroundings and be continually blessed in the days, months, and years to come. In addition, every time you express your appreciation you will notice more of what you have in your life to be appreciative of. And this will make you feel wonderful. So do this for yourself (and others). And do it often.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Arrive Happier Than When the Journey Began

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way in which to live a happier life is to enjoy the process of getting there instead of focusing so much on end goals or destinations. There are frequently many opportunities for enjoyment, reflection, and relaxation all along the way which people do not take advantage of because of the stresses and negativities they tend to create by focusing solely on their end goals, dreams, or destinations and the potential periodic impact to these due to life’s happenings overall.

One thing that I frequently recommend to people, regarding the process of change, is to start small by planting seeds and gently moving in the direction of the changes they desire, perhaps within ordinary day-to-day activities, and then growing from there. For example, someone who wants to become a more disciplined person overall might start out by getting into the practice of becoming more disciplined in his or her daily routine and then growing from there. Over time he or she might experience not only a disciplined routine, but disciplined spending habits, disciplined work and business practices, disciplined health and fitness activities, and a disciplined life overall.

So how might one apply such a “plant the seeds” approach towards enjoying the process instead of merely focusing on end goals or destinations? Well, one way to get into this practice might be taking an ordinary thing that you do nearly each and every day and transforming it into an opportunity for promoting positive experiences such as viewing your modes of transportation, whether by car, by bus, by plane, or by train, as places for rest, relaxation, enjoyment, and reflection instead of purely as a means for getting there. If you do this you will look forward to these moments as places where you can be alone with your thoughts and might even experience joy and smile while reflecting on the positive aspects of your life, things that you can feel good about, that which you love and appreciate, the pleasant recent happenings of your life, reminiscing about the past, doing something else enjoyable, and perhaps even daydreaming a little. If you get into the practice of doing this you will feel more positive and relaxed upon reaching your destination whether you are starting your work day, winding down from work and going home, or arriving at some other location.

When doing this try out different approaches for creating a more peaceful and enjoyable environment for traveling to and from such as the use of relaxing, inspirational, or uplifting music, humor, audiobooks, or simply silence. If you are someone who tends to be late then try getting into the practice of waking up and leaving ten minutes or so earlier. The wonderful, peaceful, enjoyable, relaxed state of mind you will experience will be well worth the small sacrifice. Alternate between each of these approaches until you find something that works well for you. Some people find one approach that works so well for them that they want to keep doing it while others prefer variations and like to switch things up. Experiment a bit and then do whatever works best for you. Simply make it your goal to feel happier and more relaxed, on a regular basis, upon reaching your destination than when you first started the journey.

Another technique which can be helpful in these regards includes imagining that someone who you love dearly is traveling with you at the time such as a pet, a child, a significant other, or a grandparent or other relative that you love and appreciate. People tend to be more patient, cautious, humble, and relaxed when traveling with those that they love and appreciate so this can be a good approach to employ from time to time. Still another technique which might be helpful in these regards is when you witness offensive behavior at times, such as someone cutting in front of you, imagining the person is someone that you greatly love and care about who might exhibit similar qualities in some situations or perhaps even imagining situations in which you might behave in a similar fashion.

These are all wonderful ways in which to make your modes of transportation more pleasant, fun, relaxing, and safe. It can give you something to look forward to each and every day and is a small way in which to “plant the seeds” for getting you more into the practice of enjoying the process; allowing you to feel happier and more relaxed upon reaching your destination than before the journey began. Start by doing this for ordinary things that you do nearly each and every day such as traveling to and from and then grow from there. Eventually you will get to the point where you focus more on enjoying the process for multiple aspects of your life, such as the journey towards your goals and dreams, instead of purely focusing on destinations or end goals. What a wonderful life we could all enjoy and share if we each lived more in this fashion.

I hope this article will inspire some of you to live a happier life. I don’t care what approach you ultimately choose to use so long as it promotes greater peace, happiness, and enjoyment both within yourself and towards others. Just choose a pleasant, happy, enjoyable one.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness