HAPPINESS TIP REGARDING ALCOHOL (AND OTHER LIFE DISTRACTIONS)

People frequently ask why I stopped drinking alcohol over the years. I’ve never had a drinking problem but there are several benefits to giving up alcohol (and other similar kinds of life distractions):

1) Cost: The amount of money you save from not indulging in these kinds of life distractions is tremendous and is money which can be put towards other dreams and desires you might have.

2) Risk: Not indulging in such life distractions substantially reduces your risk both in the near term and long term.

3) Personal Growth: Not indulging in these kinds of life distractions forces you to deal with life’s stresses, challenges, and “ups a downs” in a healthy fashion. Once you’ve dealt with some of these a few times, you realize that dealing in healthier ways promotes more rapid recovery, greater resilience, and mental fortitude. In addition, not indulging in such life distractions also forces you to learn how to socialize, communicate, and deal with social situations in a sober state. Qualities which you develop and strengthen over time which can benefit you (and others in your life) for your entire life. 

So, that’s three reasons I can come up with which might be worth consideration. But, as always, do what works best for you in your life. It is your life experience and no one else’s.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: ON THOSE NOT SO POSITIVE DAYS, FOCUS ON HOW YOU MOST WANT TO FEEL AND THEN OFFER THAT TO OTHERS

Here’s a happiness tip on getting yourself into a positive place on those not so positive days:

There might be times in life when you are not feeling your best. A good thing to do, when this happens, is closing your eyes and – instead of focusing on how unhappy you presently feel – asking yourself how you might most want to feel and focusing on that. Many people, in these situations, do the opposite by focusing on the very negative thoughts and feelings they are seeking to moderate and overcome. It can be extremely difficult to move in a positive direction with so much attention focused on the negative. So, instead focus on how you most want to feel and take actions to gently move in this direction.

For example, if you feel lonely then you might most desire to experience feelings of love and appreciation. So, instead of focusing on your loneliness, focus on love and appreciation and steps you might take to gently move in this direction. A wonderful way to do this is offering what you most want to others. So, if you most want to escape your loneliness, then make someone else feel less lonely. And if you most want to experience love and appreciation, then offer love and appreciation to others. You will be amazed at how much love and appreciation comes back to you when you do this. Anytime we graciously and selflessly give to others that which we want for ourselves, it comes back to us in overwhelming abundance. So, do this often in your life.

And keep in mind that you can perform this process not only with people but with pets as well. So, don’t forget about your furry friends when doing this.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: LIVE WITHOUT REGRETS OF WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

One way to live happier is taking steps to better ensure you live without regrets. This essentially involves taking chances: taking chances on people, taking chances on opportunities, and taking chances on life experiences.

For example, back in my early 30s, to overcome my shy nature with respect to initiating conversations with others I did not know, I created and adopted the expression: “I’d rather try than be haunted by…” because the potential discomfort of trying and getting shunned was less painful than the haunting, restless thoughts of what might have been.

And I’ve had a lot of fun and gained a number of friends and wonderful life experiences over the years because of this. Many of which involve friendships which have lasted 15+ years!

A simple way to express this idea is (which my more intellectual followers might appreciate): “If A would like B to be a part of A’s life experience, then it probably makes sense for A to do something to initiate the process or communicate some sort of interest. Otherwise it may not happen.”

So, do not miss out on these kinds of wonderful life opportunities! The people and experiences in your life can add such color, beauty, excitement, and comfort throughout the months, years, and decades of your life. I STRONGLY encourage you to do this for yourself from time to time. Because you never know what might happen. So, do this for yourself if your can!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

THE HUGE HIDDEN WAY TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY YES TO ANYONE WITHOUT DOING THIS FIRST!

Sometimes, in our lives, we might say “yes” to those we are close to even when doing so might make us unhappy. Often, people do this out of their desire to be supportive and create additional closeness with others. However, what they fail to realize is that whenever they sacrifice their own happiness, needs, and desires in support of others, they will frequently create negative thoughts and feelings towards those they are seeking to please (as well as themselves). Thus, instead of the closeness they anticipated creating, they often end up creating distance instead.

For example, imagine you finally got a day to yourself and decided to spend the day being creative and doing some paintings you’ve been wanting to work on for some time now. Your romantic partner – upon realizing that you had the day off – asks you to perform a few errands and to get together for lunch. You don’t really want to do any of this because it interferes with your own plans but you agree to it because you think it would be kinder and less selfish of you to do so. So, you end up spending a few hours doing this and even though it only took a few hours, it might create negative thoughts and feelings towards your partner (and yourself) in the hours and days and weeks which follow – something which can create distance in your relationship instead of the closeness you had anticipated creating by being so supportive. This can happen anytime that you place the happiness and desires of others before your own. Especially, for things which truly matter to you.

Another example of this involves making plans. Recently, I coached a woman who had communicated that her boyfriend planned events for them to attend which she did not enjoy very much. She would go because he was her boyfriend but she would experience a large amount of stress, negativity, and anxiety leading up to the events, awkwardness at the events themselves when trying to “fit in” and being careful not to do anything socially awkward, and after the events when repeatedly criticizing herself for any faults or imperfections and telling herself she should have done better. So, she would experience a huge amount of stress, anxiety, and negativity leading up to the events, during the events themselves, and after the events. Stress, anxiety, and negativity which consumed her and made her less available and attentive towards herself and her partner.

The problem with situations such as the above is frequently people plan events and activities based on what they value. And values tend to vary widely between one person and the next. For example, her partner was very extroverted in nature and enjoyed large gatherings and events. She was the opposite. So, I encouraged her to have honest discussions with her partner about her values and preferences so that he could become more mindful of these and make plans accordingly. I also encouraged her to get in the practice of saying “no” to things which make her unhappy – because doing what you truly do not want to do can affect your relationships in huge and lasting ways.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, authentic life – your own and nobody else’s. And you will take actions and support events and activities which are ALWAYS right for you and others in your life. What a wonderful life you will create and share if you live in this fashion. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can. Oh, and also be sure to read this related article about why you should never take the advice of anyone (including me!)!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS CHALLENGE: BE AND SEE THE LIGHT AND WARMTH

Here’s a worthwhile happiness challenge for you: See how many times you can be the light and warmth to others and see the light and warmth within others. We provide such joy and peace to those who come in contact with us when we are happy, calm, and peaceful ourselves – even when no words are spoken. So, strive to be that beaming light of love, warmth, happiness, peace, and inspiration each and every day.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: ALWAYS APPRECIATE HOW BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL YOU ARE

Always know and appreciate how beautiful and wonderful you are. Sometimes in life you might come across those who do not appear to love, respect, and appreciate you but whenever that happens you must love, respect, and appreciate yourself enough to invest your time and energy towards others who do.

Keep your eyes and your heart open, for those who may not have loved, respected, and appreciated you in the past, may heal over time, and then passionately and resolutely return to you once they again realize what a beautiful, wonderful soul you are. Until that happens invest your time and energy towards those who already know that.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

An Amazing Thought Guaranteed to Improve Perspective

Love and appreciate your life. You are SPECIAL. Think about everything that had to happen PERFECTLY just so that you could be here today living and breathing. Each and every person in your genetic chain meeting, loving, surviving, and conceiving each and every person in that chain for thousands of years! Any ONE trivial change in those thousands of years and you would not be here today. Think about that and how wonderful it is to be experiencing the life you are experiencing now! If that doesn’t fill you with wonder and amazement and appreciation, then you really need a perspective boost! And if you need help with that you know who to ask!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: FOCUS ON HOW YOU MOST WANT TO FEEL AND GIVE THAT TO OTHERS

One simple happiness tip involves asking yourself how you most want to feel and then freely offering that to others. So, if you want more love and kindness in your life, then give more love and kindness. You will be amazed at how much love and kindness comes back to you when you do this. So, make this a regular practice in your life.

Most people spend so much of their time focusing on how they feel instead of how they might most want to feel. Doing this is a sure recipe for ensuring you continue having negative feelings and getting what you DO NOT want in your life. Don’t do this to yourself!

What a fantastic life we (and others) could all share if we each lived in this fashion. So, always remember first to shift your focus on how you most want to feel and then freely offer that to others. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel and at the wonderful world you will create. So, do this for yourself  (and others) if you can!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Be the Most Gracious of Guests While Here on This Planet

People frequently ask me questions like why I am so happy, why I’m vegan, and why I pick up recyclables when they see me walking or running. Well, much of it has to do with the way I look at life and my philosophy on life as a whole. The following story I wrote a few years ago presents much of how I see things and why I do what I do and feel the way I feel. The edited version of this story was presented in my first self-help book, LIVING BLISS to more gently introduce this philosophy. The complete, unedited version is provided in my second self-help book, LOVING YOUR LIFE, for readers interested in achieving a fuller, deeper, and more complete understanding. I encourage you to read the below story, reflect upon it, and ask yourself what positive changes you might like to make in your life as a result.
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 
 
THE UNWELCOME GUEST
 
Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a house guest for a few days while you were away. Several weeks later he’s still in your home and has pretty much taken over your entire place. He invites loud, boisterous friends over to play cards and to drink beer and you find yourself spending more and more time away from your home, because you feel threatened by him and his friends who act hostile towards you for not being the way that they are. Even on quieter nights, when only you and he are at home, and you want to sit in the living room to watch television he’s always there ~ sprawled out on the couch watching something that you have no interest in.
 
You go to the refrigerator to get a glass of water from your fresh jug of spring water, but the container is empty. While you are there you decide you’re hungry and think you might enjoy some of that delicious vegetable casserole you prepared the day before, but find that the container has been half eaten and carelessly tossed onto one of the counter tops. Your home ~ which used to be tidy and neat ~ now has dirty clothes and trash strewn all about and dirty counters and dishes everywhere. The floors and carpets are saturated with dirt, mud, beer, and food. All of this mess, because your guest does not clean up after himself. Sometimes, he doesn’t even flush the toilet after using the bathroom and he leaves soiled pots and pans on the counters and in the sink. All in all, your home has become a dirty, stinking, filthy mess. How does this make you feel towards your house guest?
 
Now consider another kind of house guest. Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a different person for a few days while you were away. When you return you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified to the extent that it is in far better condition than when you first left. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. You find yourself looking forward to going home and wanting to spend more time in your home, because of how much more wonderful it has become. How wonderful would you feel and how likely would you be to help and do nice things for this person in the future? Most likely, you would want to become more a part of the person’s life, desire to do more to contribute to his or her life, and make the individual feel warmly welcome to come back and visit in the future.
 
Well, the spiritual world operates in very much the same fashion whether your belief system involves God, the universe, or some other higher power or spiritual representation. The more you express genuine appreciation the more love, peace, and happiness you will experience and have to be appreciative of ~ the spiritual world continually rewarding your appreciation with more to be appreciative of and showering with love, peace, and happiness the lives of those “house guests” here on this planet who are kind, mindful, considerate, and appreciative of the hospitality extended to them by the most gracious of givers. Those who generously offer kind and mindful contributions to the world for the benefit of all of our creator’s creations ~ making the earth a better and more pleasant place for all who share our planet.
 
Fortunately, for us ~ with respect to the unwelcome guest scenario presented towards the beginning of this section above ~ we can resolve situations such as this long before they get too out of hand and without too much effort. We have a police force that can serve and protect us, negotiate threatening situations, and keep offenders from returning. If only nature and less fortunate persons had others looking out for them in similar ways. Such hardship is unnecessarily created just so people can live more comfortably and conveniently. However, many of us are not mindful of this and do not carry this awareness.
 
Through kindness, lovingness, and mindfulness we can create a wonderful, new world:
 
~ A world in which we realize we are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and deserves to be free from fear, pain, suffering, and death.
 
~ A world in which we LOVE-AND-CHERISH-AND-OPEN-OUR-HEARTS towards other living and breathing beings as we do towards ourselves.
 
We can become more mindful. We can become more respectful. We can become more considerate and make kinder choices. We can love, and appreciate, and cherish all of life and generously share our world with other living and breathing beings. We can purge our homes of that unwelcome guest and assist all of our fellow, innocent, living and breathing beings in doing the same by becoming the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests in loving appreciation for the wonderful lives and the hospitality we have all been graciously granted. We can achieve this by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions.
 
The earth has historically been a holocaust of animal farming and production, animal exploitation, and animal science and testing ~ hardships unnecessarily created for nature just so people can: live more comfortably and conveniently, build and expand, reap profits and rewards, advertise products and services, and be entertained. Other living and breathing beings are continuously exploited and forced to suffer their entire lives to support the interests of the advertisement and entertainment industries, the research community, and the food, clothing, and dairy production industries. However, we can create a better world today for all who share our planet. We are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and we can love and care for other living and breathing beings as we do for ourselves.
 
 
So, the above story summarizes my philosophy on life. I believe life is such a wonderful gift and we are all guests here on this planet. Guests of God’s (or our higher power’s) hospitality. This is one reason why I am ever so thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life I get to share with other living and breathing beings who share our planet. Thus, I make an effort each and every day to express my appreciation and gratitude. One of the primary ways I do this is by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions. Whenever we live our lives in this fashion we create peace and happiness within our own lives, within the lives of others, and within the world which surrounds us.
 
In my own life I choose to live mindfully in a variety of ways to include: minimizing waste, living in moderation, relishing all of life (humans and nonhumans alike), and making a positive imprint to make the world of today and the world of tomorrow a better place. I see one of my primary purposes in life as one of offering and promoting happiness, appreciation, and well-being for the benefit of all living and breathing beings including:
 
~ loving, respecting, appreciating, and living in harmony with the earth and all who share her,
 
~ extending love, warmth, and kindness to others, and
 
~ living kindly and mindfully so as not to cause pain, suffering, or harm.
 
Everything that surrounds us has been loaned to us by the most gracious of givers: God, the universe, and/or our higher power. As such, there is nothing in this world that we truly own. Even our lives have been loaned to us. So let’s make the most of our lives and strive to become the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests while living here on this planet.
 
I have the strongest desire to be that gracious, kind, and mindful guest. As such, each and every day I strive to live ever more mindfully and to contribute to the world which surrounds me. I encourage you to do the same. What a wonderful world we could all share if each and every one of us contributed in these regards.

HAPPINESS TIP: REMEMBER THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTIONS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY (PART ONE: LIFE QUESTION #1)

One key to happiness is remembering the three most important life questions and living your life accordingly. What do you suppose the most important life question is?

 

Drum roll…

 

Well the most important life question is “WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?” Independent of what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. This is YOUR life experience and no one else’s! And it can be whatever you want it to be! So, always remember this and live your life accordingly.

Life experience includes everything from the macro, to the micro, to the temporary, to the more persistent or more permanent. It can include that which you just want to explore or try out, that which you want to experience or experiment with, that which lasts days or weeks, and that which lasts months, years, decades, or even lifelong. There is no limit. It can be a wide variety of things or just a select few. And it can change. So, it can be whatever you want it to be at the time as well as all the time.

One of the key contributors to unhappiness in life is living other people’s lives. To be truly happy, you must live an AUTHENTIC life – your own life – and nobody else’s. So, always remember that.

This also means other people need to be free to live their life experiences – whatever they want them to be – independent of what YOU think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. It’s okay to offer advice, but just remember that ultimately it is THEIR life experience and not yours.

Now, one caveat to the above is that it must be a healthy life experience (overall) such that the life experience you choose does not physically harm yourself or others. Otherwise, the playing field is wide open.

What an exciting, wonderful, happy life you (and others) will share when you live in the above fashion. So, always remember: Your life experience can be anything you want it to be. Start today. Your future is filled with nothing but endless possibility. The reels are empty. This is your movie. Create it!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

In Part Two, I will reveal the second most important life question. Can anyone guess what it might be?