intentionally

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus On What You Have Instead of What You’ve Lost

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost. Especially if you’re going through a period of stress, anxiety, depression, sadness, or other forms of unhappiness and negativity. This goes for the people in your life, the relationships you have, your finances, and your possessions.

For those select times when you decide you truly want to focus on a loss (such as a period following a break-up), allow it, but do it in a mindful fashion instead of in an automated, reactive fashion the way people often do. Mindfully decide to do it and mindfully decide for how long. Then get back to enjoying your life and focusing on what you have in your life.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you do this. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Create Excitement Through Synergy and Opportunity

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I frequently tell people there is synergy and opportunity in most everything in life. Even things you might not be very excited or motivated about. You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on it. The first step to this “recognize, create, and capitalize” process is awareness. What motivates or excites you? What do you truly value or enjoy in life? What knowledge, training, experiences, or skills might interest you or get you closer to where you long to be in life? These are some of the questions you might ask yourself when performing such an inquiry. Listen for and be open to the possibilities. Then make a list of what comes to you and listen for more possibilities. Then revise the list and listen for more  possibilities. And once you think your list is final listen once more for the possibilities and revise the list again. Then prioritize your list by placing that which you are most excited about or long for most towards the top. Eventually you will get to the point where you will no longer need a list – you will simply know these things without even having to think about them. But you can repeat this process anytime you want to open yourself up to new possibilities.


Once you gain this awareness it will be easier for you to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning those activities you already perform with that which you truly want for yourself. For example, someone might complain about feeling bored at work or at home. But anytime you experience periods others might describe as boring or unproductive in nature, you will recognize these as opportunities to work towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. You can simply go down the list from the highest  priority item at the top and work your way down until you identify something which might be feasible to work towards depending on where you are and what you are doing at the time. Eventually, those periods  of boredom and unproductivity will disappear completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Right now I have time to work towards…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list). And you can make steady progress whether it’s learning a foreign language, trying out new skills or experiences, investigating potential travel destinations, learning about finance and investing, researching a new business or career, or exploring new ideas.

As another example, someone might be unhappy about all of the hours they have to work. But whenever you work extra hours you might recognize this as an opportunity to accumulate additional resources to put towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. This additional money might come from: 1) the income earned for the extra hours worked, 2) the savings generated by not having time to spend the money earned,  or 3) a combination of these. Once the busy period expires you might be able to purchase one or more of the desired items or experiences on your list. Eventually, those periods of unhappiness will vanish completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Working these extra hours will allow me to purchase…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list).

So the above are two examples of how these ideas might be applied by taking the former “negative” perception and transforming that into something that you truly want for yourself, something you can feel good and motivated about, and something you can look forward to. Anytime you are able to transform the “negative” into something more positive you will feel happier and better about yourself and your life. So always make a concerted effort to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning the activities you perform with that which you truly want for yourself.

Recently, a woman I talked with was dreading the thought of having to drive to Missouri to attend an event in a rural area. After talking with her a bit more I learned that something she was excited and motivated about in life was travel. So, I suggested that perhaps she should consider the event as an opportunity to explore a few places along the way and back. She could perhaps leave a few days early and explore cities such as Memphis and spend a few days on the way back exploring other cities such as St. Louis or other places she might have interest in. She had  been so focused on the “dreaded” event that she failed to recognize the potential opportunities presented. It’s easy to lose sight of such synergies and opportunities when you heavily focus on the source of displeasure, negativity, or discontent. Many things in life are that way. So always try to broaden your perspective and transform the negative into something more positive.

Opportunities and synergies present themselves each and every day.  You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on them. So gain and maintain awareness of that which excites, motivates, and interests you and brings you happiness. And incorporate these aspects into your day to day activities as the opportunities arise. If you do this you will feel motivated and inspired and experience great happiness, fulfillment, and contentment for much of the time. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

WHICH LIFE WILL YOU CHOOSE?

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Which life will you choose? A life full of beauty, love, warmth, joy, inspiration, and hope? Or a life filled with pain, loneliness, pessimism, negativity, emptiness, and despair? The choice is always yours. Remembering this is the key to the level of happiness – or unhappiness for that matter – that you will experience throughout the days, weeks, months, and years of your life. It is also the key for how much happiness – or unhappiness for that matter – that you will create within the lives of others who surround you. So, which life will you choose to experience and create? This is probably the most important question you can ask yourself.

Most people who know me well know I am a spiritual person. Now, what do I mean by that? Well, for me, one thing this means is that the spirits of all living and breathing beings never die – they live on after their bodies pass. Another thing it means for me is that connections and communications between individual beings – living or dead, near or far – can continue as if they were within our immediate presence. This offers such warmth, inspiration, and comfort because no matter where I am I never feel distant, disconnected, or alone. I can always summon and experience the joyful presence of others I have loved and appreciated in my life – past or present, living or dead. Sometimes, I will do things and invite them along to experience them with me. Sometimes, I will visit places we enjoyed in the past and beforehand tell them I am going and invite them to join me there. In either case, I feel their joyful presence and it fills me with happiness and makes me smile. I will frequently mentally converse with them and experience their joy at still being a part of my life and my joy at still being a part of theirs.

This is an activity you can perform with all of those that you love and appreciate: people and pets alike. For example, one of my best friends moved clear across the country a couple of years ago with his two dogs who I also adored. Sometimes, I like to go to the areas where he used to live. But before I go, I will generally invite him and his dogs – in spirit – to join me there. I always have such a wonderful, pleasant experience whenever I do this. And who knows? Perhaps, me doing this gave my friend and his dogs happy thoughts in those moments or happy dreams if they were sleeping at the time. For, so much more is possible in the spiritual world than in the physical world.

As another example, my mother died back in 2014, but I still invite her to participate in my life and feel her presence around me. For one thing, she always enjoyed trying new foods and desserts. So, anytime I’m trying something new I invite her to enjoy it with me. And she always does it with such joy! Bringing me great happiness in the process.

So, just because those that you love and appreciate are no longer in your life – either because they have moved away or have passed on – this does not mean you cannot continue to experience the warmth and the joy and the inspiration of their presence. Connect and communicate with them spiritually. Do it now. Do it tomorrow. And do it anytime you desire to experience the warmth, joy, and inspiration of their presence. You are not alone. You never have been. The spiritual world is always there for you.

Now, of course, there are naysayers who do not or will not embrace – and in fact reject – what I have proposed above. However, I would ask you to consider this: Imagine someone who lived his or her life experiencing the love, warmth, and joy of living in this fashion. Now, imagine someone else who lived life rejecting all of these notions and believing that life was a painful, lonely, dismal, and spiritless place. If both of these individuals died tomorrow, who do you suppose lived the happier life? The way you choose to live your life is always your choice. Always remember that. Because we truly do not know how the spiritual world works or what happens after we pass. Although, there have been accounts of near death experiences where beauty and reunions with loved ones of the past have been repeatedly described in detail.

I have made my choice. Which life will you choose? A life full of beauty, love, warmth, joy, inspiration, and hope? Or a life filled with pain, loneliness, pessimism, negativity, emptiness, and despair? Because it truly does not matter. Things will happen the way they do no matter how you choose to live your life. It does not matter. Or perhaps, more importantly, it does.

I hope this article will inspire some of you to live a happier life. I do not care which specific path or journey you choose so long as it does not create negativity towards yourself or towards others. Just choose a happy one. Not only for the benefit of yourself, but for the benefit of those who surround you.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Living Mindfully and Intentionally, Being Clear-Headed and Open-Minded, and Releasing the Need to be Right or Defensive

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article is about living more mindfully and intentionally, being more clear-headed and open-minded, and releasing the need to be “right” or defensive. Part of this involves acknowledging and understanding that just because we, or others in our lives, express a certain belief, opinion, or criticism about something this does not mean it is necessarily or absolutely true. It might appear to be true based on someone’s individual experiences, knowledge, or perceptions at the time but one’s individual set of experiences, knowledge, and perceptions are only a small subset of the possible set of those which exist. Carrying this realization can go a long way in becoming a more understanding, compassionate, and forgiving person towards others (and towards yourself for that matter), and for living a happier, more peaceful life. 

What I often tell people in situations where they feel they have been wrongly judged, criticized, or treated unkindly in some fashion is to first take some time to get clear on what their ideal end result would be in such a situation before responding with action. Otherwise, they might end up creating the opposite effect from what they might truly desire. In situations such as this, simply get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these.

Many times in life, our most desired end result involves some form of love, warmth, closeness, and community with others. When this is the case, use your ideal vision of what you truly desire to guide your actions rather than your ego’s vision of wanting to be right, or to be a victim, by its focus on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. If you operate in this fashion you will get much closer to what you truly desire in life or at least be able to feel good in knowing you did your part in these regards.

Of course, there is always the other side of the equation associated with how others will respond to your good intentions. However, this is something you have little control over. Simply do your part, feel good about the actions you’ve taken to date (and continue taking them), and don’t worry about what you cannot control. Others often get held hostage by their egos just as we sometimes have in the past. So, try to be patient, forgiving, and accepting towards them. Just do your part to get closer to what you want and patiently wait for others to respond accordingly.

Most likely the actions you will want to take, in situations where your most desired end result involves creating greater love, warmth, closeness, and community with others, would primarily involve some form of loving-kindness towards others by bringing a successful resolution to the situation at hand in a kind and loving manner and improving your relationship. Many times, however, people do the opposite – focusing instead on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, or wrongdoing. But if we operate in this fashion we will end up creating distance in our relationships instead of the closeness we might truly desire.

Suppose, for example, someone criticized you for something you said or did. If you focus solely on the perceived hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing the person caused, you will often reciprocate an amplified version of this hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing. And this reciprocation process can continue, back and forth, for days, weeks, and even months and years if you allow things to really get out of hand. Your ego will feel vindicated but you will end up at the opposite end of the spectrum from where you truly desired to be – creating distance instead of the closeness you would have otherwise wanted had you acted in accordance with your true desires.

Sometimes this process also involves challenging yourself to understand the other person’s perspective – realizing that based on the person’s individual experiences, knowledge, and perceptions, things might have appeared the way they did (whether you agree with them or not). This can allow you to gain a better perspective and understanding and perhaps even allow you to grow or improve in some regard.

Several years ago, I helped someone with a personal relationship situation using this very approach. He had been dating someone for a few months before they started having problems. So, we talked more about it and he concluded that his most desired end result would be working things out and creating a stronger, warmer relationship with the person.

Now, another aspect of all of this involves making a decision, while we are clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with that decision for some period of time until we decide to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide. So, in this situation, where someone made a clear-headed decision to work things out and create a warmer relationship, the person would ensure his or her follow-on thoughts, communications, and actions were consistent with that decision – saying “yes” to thoughts, communications, and actions which moved him or her closer to what was decided and “no” to those which did not. So, if the person detected negative thoughts, communications, or actions towards his or her partner, then he or she would regroup, remember and honor the decision made, and then remind himself/herself that these are inconsistent with the decision made, release these, and focus on creating something more positive. If you do this it will simplify your life and ensure consistent and steady progress towards the decisions you make.

Well, as it turned out, the person I helped above was at a pivotal point in his relationship. He was ready to just end the relationship right there until he talked with me about it. He then used the above process and now, years later, he is still in the same relationship and they are happier than they ever have been. That’s the power of this process. It can really change your life.

Now, there exist some situations in life where, out of self-love and self-preservation, the most desired end result might involve creating greater distance from certain others – especially those who tend to be detrimental towards us. Again, for these kinds of situations, get yourself into a quiet place and mindfully contemplate: “What would my ideal end result be if I could have things any way I wanted them to be?” Take some time with formulating your vision. Then focus intently on this vision, define what actions you could take to progress towards the end result represented by your vision, and start working towards these. In situations involving a desire to create distance from situations which are detrimental towards you, it can be helpful to focus intently on, and perhaps even amplify or exaggerate, the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing experienced to provide you with the strength and reminders needed to create, and remain committed to maintaining, this distance. This aspect also involves making a decision, while clear-headed and in a positive emotional state, and sticking with it for some period of time until a decision is made to re-evaluate and perhaps even re-decide.

Each of these situations essentially involves the same process: getting yourself into a quiet place, taking some time to mindfully contemplate and formulate what your ideal end result would be, making a clear-headed decision, and allowing this vision/decision to guide your actions in a mindful, intentional fashion instead of in a mindless, reactive one which is the default position many people take. You can create and experience a wonderful life filled with all of the love, warmth, happiness, and peace you can possibly imagine by living mindfully and intentionally instead of in a mindless and reactive fashion. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

 

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

Brighter Days 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

Achieve Greater Happiness By Prioritizing Life Activities

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One of the keys to happiness involves mindfully and intentionally ensuring the activities you perform on a day-to-day basis contribute, or add value, to your life in some fashion. I always tell people to make it a regular practice to evaluate the activities they perform on a day-to-day basis to make this determination and continue those activities which do contribute, or add value, to their lives while eliminating or reducing their participation in those which do not. By mindfully and intentionally living in this fashion, you will begin to remove the “clutter” from your life and achieve greater peace, happiness, and balance throughout the days, weeks, months, and years of your life.

In my own life, I performed such an evaluation and came to realize I spent a significant amount of time on social media, obsessively reading everyone’s posts, without realizing how much time it consumed. I am glad that I broke that “addiction” and encourage some of you to give it a try if you experience similar compulsions. I’ve been so much more productive and made so much more progress since letting this go. So, make it a regular practice to mindfully and intentionally evaluate the activities you perform, prioritize these, and make adjustments accordingly.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

Brighter Days 1
Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life