inspiration
HAPPINESS TIP: FOCUS ON HOW YOU MOST WANT TO FEEL AND GIVE THAT TO OTHERS
One simple happiness tip involves asking yourself how you most want to feel and then freely offering that to others. So, if you want more love and kindness in your life, then give more love and kindness. You will be amazed at how much love and kindness comes back to you when you do this. So, make this a regular practice in your life.
Most people spend so much of their time focusing on how they feel instead of how they might most want to feel. Doing this is a sure recipe for ensuring you continue having negative feelings and getting what you DO NOT want in your life. Don’t do this to yourself!
What a fantastic life we (and others) could all share if we each lived in this fashion. So, always remember first to shift your focus on how you most want to feel and then freely offer that to others. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel and at the wonderful world you will create. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can!
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships
Be the Most Gracious of Guests While Here on This Planet
People frequently ask me questions like why I am so happy, why I’m vegan, and why I pick up recyclables when they see me walking or running. Well, much of it has to do with the way I look at life and my philosophy on life as a whole. The following story I wrote a few years ago presents much of how I see things and why I do what I do and feel the way I feel. The edited version of this story was presented in my first self-help book, LIVING BLISS to more gently introduce this philosophy. The complete, unedited version is provided in my second self-help book, LOVING YOUR LIFE, for readers interested in achieving a fuller, deeper, and more complete understanding. I encourage you to read the below story, reflect upon it, and ask yourself what positive changes you might like to make in your life as a result.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
THE UNWELCOME GUEST
Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a house guest for a few days while you were away. Several weeks later he’s still in your home and has pretty much taken over your entire place. He invites loud, boisterous friends over to play cards and to drink beer and you find yourself spending more and more time away from your home, because you feel threatened by him and his friends who act hostile towards you for not being the way that they are. Even on quieter nights, when only you and he are at home, and you want to sit in the living room to watch television he’s always there ~ sprawled out on the couch watching something that you have no interest in.
You go to the refrigerator to get a glass of water from your fresh jug of spring water, but the container is empty. While you are there you decide you’re hungry and think you might enjoy some of that delicious vegetable casserole you prepared the day before, but find that the container has been half eaten and carelessly tossed onto one of the counter tops. Your home ~ which used to be tidy and neat ~ now has dirty clothes and trash strewn all about and dirty counters and dishes everywhere. The floors and carpets are saturated with dirt, mud, beer, and food. All of this mess, because your guest does not clean up after himself. Sometimes, he doesn’t even flush the toilet after using the bathroom and he leaves soiled pots and pans on the counters and in the sink. All in all, your home has become a dirty, stinking, filthy mess. How does this make you feel towards your house guest?
Now consider another kind of house guest. Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a different person for a few days while you were away. When you return you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified to the extent that it is in far better condition than when you first left. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. You find yourself looking forward to going home and wanting to spend more time in your home, because of how much more wonderful it has become. How wonderful would you feel and how likely would you be to help and do nice things for this person in the future? Most likely, you would want to become more a part of the person’s life, desire to do more to contribute to his or her life, and make the individual feel warmly welcome to come back and visit in the future.
Well, the spiritual world operates in very much the same fashion whether your belief system involves God, the universe, or some other higher power or spiritual representation. The more you express genuine appreciation the more love, peace, and happiness you will experience and have to be appreciative of ~ the spiritual world continually rewarding your appreciation with more to be appreciative of and showering with love, peace, and happiness the lives of those “house guests” here on this planet who are kind, mindful, considerate, and appreciative of the hospitality extended to them by the most gracious of givers. Those who generously offer kind and mindful contributions to the world for the benefit of all of our creator’s creations ~ making the earth a better and more pleasant place for all who share our planet.
Fortunately, for us ~ with respect to the unwelcome guest scenario presented towards the beginning of this section above ~ we can resolve situations such as this long before they get too out of hand and without too much effort. We have a police force that can serve and protect us, negotiate threatening situations, and keep offenders from returning. If only nature and less fortunate persons had others looking out for them in similar ways. Such hardship is unnecessarily created just so people can live more comfortably and conveniently. However, many of us are not mindful of this and do not carry this awareness.
Through kindness, lovingness, and mindfulness we can create a wonderful, new world:
~ A world in which we realize we are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and deserves to be free from fear, pain, suffering, and death.
~ A world in which we LOVE-AND-CHERISH-AND-OPEN-OUR-HEARTS towards other living and breathing beings as we do towards ourselves.
We can become more mindful. We can become more respectful. We can become more considerate and make kinder choices. We can love, and appreciate, and cherish all of life and generously share our world with other living and breathing beings. We can purge our homes of that unwelcome guest and assist all of our fellow, innocent, living and breathing beings in doing the same by becoming the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests in loving appreciation for the wonderful lives and the hospitality we have all been graciously granted. We can achieve this by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions.
The earth has historically been a holocaust of animal farming and production, animal exploitation, and animal science and testing ~ hardships unnecessarily created for nature just so people can: live more comfortably and conveniently, build and expand, reap profits and rewards, advertise products and services, and be entertained. Other living and breathing beings are continuously exploited and forced to suffer their entire lives to support the interests of the advertisement and entertainment industries, the research community, and the food, clothing, and dairy production industries. However, we can create a better world today for all who share our planet. We are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and we can love and care for other living and breathing beings as we do for ourselves.
So, the above story summarizes my philosophy on life. I believe life is such a wonderful gift and we are all guests here on this planet. Guests of God’s (or our higher power’s) hospitality. This is one reason why I am ever so thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life I get to share with other living and breathing beings who share our planet. Thus, I make an effort each and every day to express my appreciation and gratitude. One of the primary ways I do this is by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions. Whenever we live our lives in this fashion we create peace and happiness within our own lives, within the lives of others, and within the world which surrounds us.
In my own life I choose to live mindfully in a variety of ways to include: minimizing waste, living in moderation, relishing all of life (humans and nonhumans alike), and making a positive imprint to make the world of today and the world of tomorrow a better place. I see one of my primary purposes in life as one of offering and promoting happiness, appreciation, and well-being for the benefit of all living and breathing beings including:
~ loving, respecting, appreciating, and living in harmony with the earth and all who share her,
~ extending love, warmth, and kindness to others, and
~ living kindly and mindfully so as not to cause pain, suffering, or harm.
Everything that surrounds us has been loaned to us by the most gracious of givers: God, the universe, and/or our higher power. As such, there is nothing in this world that we truly own. Even our lives have been loaned to us. So let’s make the most of our lives and strive to become the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests while living here on this planet.
I have the strongest desire to be that gracious, kind, and mindful guest. As such, each and every day I strive to live ever more mindfully and to contribute to the world which surrounds me. I encourage you to do the same. What a wonderful world we could all share if each and every one of us contributed in these regards.
HAPPINESS TIP: WORK TOWARDS SOLVING ACTUAL PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF PERCEIVED ONES
One thing I frequently tell people for improving the future and living a happier life involves working towards solving actual, instead of perceived, problems. People I coach often seek to make positive changes in their lives and have specific perceived “issues” they want to initially focus on. But, the first question I generally ponder is whether the proposed change will offer the most optimal change for the person overall. The change that will create the greatest happiness, inspiration, fulfillment, and/or success for the individual.
Often, people feel they have specific issues which must be resolved before they will ever be able to live happier. However, the first question I frequently ask in such situations is: “Why do you think this is such a significant issue, how does this create unhappiness, discontent, and negativity in your life, and in what ways does it hinder you?” If the problem is truly significant, the person should be able to articulate concrete responses to this. Otherwise, it is likely to be more of a perceived problem than an actual one.
Another thing I like to do in this regard is ask the person what he or she thinks life would be like if the problem did not exist or how things might be different and allow this vision to guide his or her actions towards improvement. The point of these kinds of inquiries is determining whether the perceived problem is an actual (and significant) one before putting forth the time and energy towards resolving it.
You might be surprised at how much time and energy people put towards solving problems that were never true problems to begin with. They were merely perceived issues they told themselves they had even though these did not concretely create unhappiness, discontent, or negativity in their lives other than in the thoughts surrounding their perceived need to resolve them.
Sometimes, the perceived problems we have are not problems at all other than our acceptance that these are part of who we are. And if there is little or no evidence of these concretely creating unhappiness, discontent, and negativity in our lives, then we would benefit from seeking a more optimal positive change for ourselves so we can better realize greater happiness, inspiration, fulfillment, and success in life.
The point of all this is making sure you perform a thorough investigation before attempting to solve problems which may not truly be problems at all. You will save yourself a lot of time, energy, stress, unhappiness, and frustration if you do.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
HAPPINESS TIP: REMEMBER THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTIONS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY (PART THREE: LIFE QUESTION #3)
In my previous two posts, I identified the most important life question as: “WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?” And the second most important life question as: “HOW CAN I ACHIEVE THAT LIFE EXPERIENCE?”
Well, what do you suppose the third most important life question is?
Drum roll…
Well the third most important life question is “HOW CAN I LIVE INCREASINGLY HAPPIER?” That is, what can you do to live happier on a day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year basis. This includes everything from performing an inventory of your life and moving towards the more positive aspects and distancing yourself from the negative aspects, to gaining a greater appreciation of what you have, who you are, and who you have in your life, to countless other ways of living a happier life. Most of what I write about focuses on how to live happier. Much of which is located here: http://www.brighterdayslifecoaching.com/category/personal-improvement-development-and-growth-related-posts/
So, there you have it. The three most important life questions:
1. WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?
2. HOW CAN I ACHIEVE THAT LIFE EXPERIENCE?
3. HOW CAN I LIVE INCREASINGLY HAPPIER?
Answer these three questions and live your life accordingly and you will discover how wonderful it feels to live an authentic life filled with wonder, joy, excitement, and fulfillment.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships
HAPPINESS TIP: REMEMBER THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTIONS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY (PART ONE: LIFE QUESTION #1)
One key to happiness is remembering the three most important life questions and living your life accordingly. What do you suppose the most important life question is?
Drum roll…
Well the most important life question is “WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?” Independent of what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. This is YOUR life experience and no one else’s! And it can be whatever you want it to be! So, always remember this and live your life accordingly.
Life experience includes everything from the macro, to the micro, to the temporary, to the more persistent or more permanent. It can include that which you just want to explore or try out, that which you want to experience or experiment with, that which lasts days or weeks, and that which lasts months, years, decades, or even lifelong. There is no limit. It can be a wide variety of things or just a select few. And it can change. So, it can be whatever you want it to be at the time as well as all the time.
One of the key contributors to unhappiness in life is living other people’s lives. To be truly happy, you must live an AUTHENTIC life – your own life – and nobody else’s. So, always remember that.
This also means other people need to be free to live their life experiences – whatever they want them to be – independent of what YOU think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. It’s okay to offer advice, but just remember that ultimately it is THEIR life experience and not yours.
Now, one caveat to the above is that it must be a healthy life experience (overall) such that the life experience you choose does not physically harm yourself or others. Otherwise, the playing field is wide open.
What an exciting, wonderful, happy life you (and others) will share when you live in the above fashion. So, always remember: Your life experience can be anything you want it to be. Start today. Your future is filled with nothing but endless possibility. The reels are empty. This is your movie. Create it!
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
In Part Two, I will reveal the second most important life question. Can anyone guess what it might be?
HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU
HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU
Many people spend so much of their time focused on getting there that they fail to appreciate the moment and their surroundings. Don’t do this to yourself. Mindfully slow things down a bit, every once in a while, and marvel at the world which surrounds you. You can do this while walking, driving, riding, or even sitting.
What I like to do is imagine my surroundings have been painted through the sentimental eyes of appreciation of an artist. How many paintings have you seen which were so cozy, so warming, so inspirational, and so inviting that you just wanted to be there? Well, imagine your surroundings were painted by such an artist and slow down a bit and smile and bask in the joy of it.
Anytime you do this, you will be able to transform even otherwise dull surroundings into something precious, wondrous, magnificent, and deeply moving; filling yourself with the warmth, joy, wonder, inspiration, and exhilaration of complete appreciation. And what might have been even boring, ordinary days will become extraordinary and you will feel happy, lively, and cheerful for much of the time. So, do this for yourself if you can.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
Happiness Tip: Live with a Sense of Balance
Many people consume so much of their lives doing for others that they have little time or energy for doing (or even discovering) what they want for themselves. Don’t do this to yourself. Live with a sense of balance so that you do for (and give to) yourself all along the way. Both in the micro sense and in the macro sense.
In the micro, day-to-day and week-to-week, sense, you might incorporate more of what you want in life on a regular basis such as health and fitness activities, things you enjoy, creative expression, exploration and adventure, social activities, solitude, and learning activities.
In the macro, longer term sense, you might work towards that which you would like to achieve or accomplish such as earning advanced degrees, writing books, establishing a business, transitioning into a rewarding new career, traveling, and any dreams or desires you might have.
If you live with a sense of balance, you will retain sight of and make that which you want in life a priority all along the way. You will live a rewarding, fulfilling life and accomplish so much more than you ever dreamed possible.
Many people wait until they reach retirement age to start working towards what they truly want in their lives. An age where they have less stamina and mental and physical abilities. So retirement, if it ever happens, can become a mad, stressful, tiring rush of “catch up” activities they’ve never taken the time to do in their lives.
On 30 September, I retired from 29 years of federal service (4 years for the Marine Corps and 25 years for the Army). I was thankful that I retired after having already lived a full life of travel, writing and publishing, establishing a new rewarding career, and accomplishing pretty much everything I truly desired in life. Thus, my retirement years will be this wonderful, peaceful ease of taking things at a leisurely pace and doing that which inspires and motivates and makes me happy in its own time. And I would want it no other way.
So, I encourage you to live with a sense of balance all along the way by making yourself a priority in your life. It’s okay to have temporary imbalance, from time to time, when you are working towards something you really want for yourself such as an education or success in your work, but always define where the exit is so that you can get back to living a balanced life. If you do this, you will feel happy, fulfilled, accomplished, and at peace for much of your life. So do this for yourself if you can.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
Happiness Tip: Take An Easiest First Approach to Change
Many people struggle with making the changes they desire in life. Frequently, this happens because they make the process of change so sudden and overwhelming that it’s difficult to find the motivation to even begin much less sustain.
What I frequently tell people to do in this regard is taking an “easiest first” approach to change and then growing from there. By identifying easy ways to move in the direction of the changes you desire, you will start making progress sooner, increase your comfort level, and build your motivation and confidence towards making the changes you desire. Changes which you will be able to incrementally build upon over time.
For example, if you desire to start a fitness routine, you might ask yourself what would be the easiest three days of the week, the best time of day, and what exercises you could reasonably initially perform successfully. You could then begin working towards this. Once you get comfortable with your new routine, you might then ask yourself what the next easiest day to add to the weekly routine might be and/or increase the amount of time or intensity of the exercises performed.
Alternatively, if you feel you are obsessive about something that you do everyday and want to move in the direction of reducing this so that it does not consume so much of your life, then you might ask yourself what might be the easiest days to skip the activity. For example, you might initially only allow yourself to perform this activity on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays until you get comfortable with the new routine and then reduce it to only Tuesdays and Fridays.
Both of these examples illustrate how to take an “easiest first” approach towards the process of change. So, do this for yourself if you can. You will be amazed at the progress you make when you operate in this fashion.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
Happiness Tip: Focus More on Creating Instead of Pursuing Happiness
Many people in life spend much of their time and energy pursuing happiness instead of taking steps to create it. And that which is actively pursued frequently evades while that which is actively created frequently attracts.
Thus, creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings will tend to attract that which we might otherwise pursue such as success or relationships with others (romantic and otherwise including friendships and acquaintances). By taking steps to create happiness, you will progress towards becoming one of those wonderful, happy people everyone loves to be around. Those who “beam” with warmth and positive energy and seem to attract love, friendship, and success almost effortlessly.
What a wonderful world we could all create and share if we each focused more on creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings. So, seek to find what makes you happy and fill more of your life with that which does and less with that which does not.
And if you do not know what truly makes you happy, then explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. In fact, I recommend always including some aspects of exploration and adventure in your life, even while doing that which you already know makes you happy. Because you never know. You might just discover even more which adds to your happiness. And even if you don’t, you will keep life fresh and interesting.
So, do these kinds of things for yourself if you can. Because you can never become too happy.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships