happy

BE A SOURCE OF PEACE, PATIENCE, AND POSITIVITY TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing which can be helpful when those you love and appreciate are burdened by something or experiencing extreme negative thoughts and feelings is being a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for the troubled person (and others in your life). Anytime others perceive us as a consistent source of these kinds of positive qualities, they will spend more time with us and communicate with us more – both in good times and bad.

If you truly desire to serve as this constant source of peace, patience, and positivity to others, then focus on this desired vision for yourself and ask yourself what actions you can take today, tomorrow, next week, and next month to progress towards this and then start taking these actions. In addition, review and reflect on your progress by asking yourself, throughout your days, if your behaviors, actions, and communications have been consistent with your vision and make adjustments accordingly to ensure you converge towards it – saying “yes” to anything which moves you closer to your vision of peace, patience, and positivity and “no” to anything which does not. If you do these things, you will begin to embody the positive qualities you are envisioning for yourself.

I used this very technique to help a young woman I coached recently named Anne. Anne was worried because her girlfriend was becoming distant – not spending as much time or communicating with her as much as she had in the past. After talking with Anne further, it came to light that her girlfriend was getting overwhelmed by the health problems her mother was experiencing and the need for constant support. And things kept getting worse.

Up to that point in time, Anne would freely share her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend. It’s just something they had always done. I pointed out to Anne that her girlfriend – in going through the challenges with her mother – was living a life far out of balance and the imbalance and happenings in her life were creating a substantial amount stress, negativity, and chaos. As such, burdening her girlfriend further by communicating her own problems, issues, and concerns would make her girlfriend feel even more overwhelmed and intensify her negative feelings of stress, irritability, sadness, anxiety, and chaos – all of which might create additional withdrawal and isolation (in the best case) or a quick, desperate reaction (in the worst case).

So, I strongly encouraged Anne to refrain from sharing her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend during this period of time and instead sharing them with others in her life if she felt the need – others who were not going through such intense challenges in their lives. I also challenged Anne to focus primarily on becoming a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for her girlfriend because of the increased likelihood they might spend more time together and communicate more with each other if her girlfriend associated Anne with these kinds of positive qualities – positive qualities which offered: (1) a safe haven away from all of the chaos and imbalance she was experiencing, and (2) a way of gaining back some of that balance and recharging and rejuvenating herself in the process.

Well, Anne did exactly that – actively taking steps to become a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity to her girlfriend – saying “yes” to anything that moved her closer to this vision and “no” to anything which did not. And sure enough, her girlfriend started coming around much more often and they were able to recover from what might have otherwise resulted in a tragic event.

So, always keep this in mind when dealing with people in your life who are experiencing significant challenges. They might need a break from everything they are going through – and if you can offer this to them, this might be the very thing which allows them to successfully navigate and overcome the highly stressful challenges and events in their lives.   

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU

Many people spend so much of their time focused on getting there that they fail to appreciate the moment and their surroundings. Don’t do this to yourself. Mindfully slow things down a bit, every once in a while, and marvel at the world which surrounds you. You can do this while walking, driving, riding, or even sitting.

What I like to do is imagine my surroundings have been painted through the sentimental eyes of appreciation of an artist. How many paintings have you seen which were so cozy, so warming, so inspirational, and so inviting that you just wanted to be there? Well, imagine your surroundings were painted by such an artist and slow down a bit and smile and bask in the joy of it.

Anytime you do this, you will be able to transform even otherwise dull surroundings into something precious, wondrous, magnificent, and deeply moving; filling yourself with the warmth, joy, wonder, inspiration, and exhilaration of complete appreciation. And what might have been even boring, ordinary days will become extraordinary and you will feel happy, lively, and cheerful for much of the time. So, do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Live Your Own Life and Your Life Only

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Live your own life, and your life only, no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince you otherwise. Many people who experience unhappiness in their lives do so, because  they are living other people’s lives and not their own. And often they are not even aware they are doing this.

This is your life and your journey. Treat it as such by finding out who you are and what you want and live that way by being true to yourself such that you live an authentic life. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel when you live this way.

And if you are not to the point in your life where you know who you are and what you truly want, then simply explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. I frequently tell people that exploration and adventure is the spice of life. So continue doing these kinds of things as well.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you start living your own life. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus on How You Most Want to Feel and Then Offer That to Others

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
HAPPINESS TIP: Here’s a quick happiness tip for those who might be experiencing a period of stress, negativity, or unhappiness: Instead of focusing on how horrible you feel, focus on how you most want to feel and then offer that to others. So, for example, if you feel lonely or unappreciated and most want more love and appreciation in your life, then give more love and appreciation. You will be amazed at how much love and appreciation comes back to you when you do this. Anytime you graciously and selflessly offer to others that which you want for yourself, it will come back to you in overwhelming abundance.
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

 

Create Excitement Through Synergy and Opportunity

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I frequently tell people there is synergy and opportunity in most everything in life. Even things you might not be very excited or motivated about. You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on it. The first step to this “recognize, create, and capitalize” process is awareness. What motivates or excites you? What do you truly value or enjoy in life? What knowledge, training, experiences, or skills might interest you or get you closer to where you long to be in life? These are some of the questions you might ask yourself when performing such an inquiry. Listen for and be open to the possibilities. Then make a list of what comes to you and listen for more possibilities. Then revise the list and listen for more  possibilities. And once you think your list is final listen once more for the possibilities and revise the list again. Then prioritize your list by placing that which you are most excited about or long for most towards the top. Eventually you will get to the point where you will no longer need a list – you will simply know these things without even having to think about them. But you can repeat this process anytime you want to open yourself up to new possibilities.


Once you gain this awareness it will be easier for you to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning those activities you already perform with that which you truly want for yourself. For example, someone might complain about feeling bored at work or at home. But anytime you experience periods others might describe as boring or unproductive in nature, you will recognize these as opportunities to work towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. You can simply go down the list from the highest  priority item at the top and work your way down until you identify something which might be feasible to work towards depending on where you are and what you are doing at the time. Eventually, those periods  of boredom and unproductivity will disappear completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Right now I have time to work towards…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list). And you can make steady progress whether it’s learning a foreign language, trying out new skills or experiences, investigating potential travel destinations, learning about finance and investing, researching a new business or career, or exploring new ideas.

As another example, someone might be unhappy about all of the hours they have to work. But whenever you work extra hours you might recognize this as an opportunity to accumulate additional resources to put towards something on your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list. This additional money might come from: 1) the income earned for the extra hours worked, 2) the savings generated by not having time to spend the money earned,  or 3) a combination of these. Once the busy period expires you might be able to purchase one or more of the desired items or experiences on your list. Eventually, those periods of unhappiness will vanish completely because you will simply think to yourself, “Oh good! Working these extra hours will allow me to purchase…” (insert item from your  “Happiness, Interests, and Excitements” list).

So the above are two examples of how these ideas might be applied by taking the former “negative” perception and transforming that into something that you truly want for yourself, something you can feel good and motivated about, and something you can look forward to. Anytime you are able to transform the “negative” into something more positive you will feel happier and better about yourself and your life. So always make a concerted effort to recognize, create, and capitalize on synergies and opportunities by aligning the activities you perform with that which you truly want for yourself.

Recently, a woman I talked with was dreading the thought of having to drive to Missouri to attend an event in a rural area. After talking with her a bit more I learned that something she was excited and motivated about in life was travel. So, I suggested that perhaps she should consider the event as an opportunity to explore a few places along the way and back. She could perhaps leave a few days early and explore cities such as Memphis and spend a few days on the way back exploring other cities such as St. Louis or other places she might have interest in. She had  been so focused on the “dreaded” event that she failed to recognize the potential opportunities presented. It’s easy to lose sight of such synergies and opportunities when you heavily focus on the source of displeasure, negativity, or discontent. Many things in life are that way. So always try to broaden your perspective and transform the negative into something more positive.

Opportunities and synergies present themselves each and every day.  You just need the ability to recognize, create, and capitalize on them. So gain and maintain awareness of that which excites, motivates, and interests you and brings you happiness. And incorporate these aspects into your day to day activities as the opportunities arise. If you do this you will feel motivated and inspired and experience great happiness, fulfillment, and contentment for much of the time. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Live and Let Go

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Every day is a wonderful gracious gift to us all. Always try to remember that from hour to hour and day to day. And live your life that way.

 

Most of the negativity and difficulties we experience in life don’t matter much. We’re simply fortunate to be here breathing the same air, enjoying the same sunshine, and experiencing everything in life that we get to experience. For there are many reasons why we might not be here today:

 

– All of the close calls pushing us to the brink of nuclear annihilation, for one, over the past 70 years or so.

 

– Parents not meeting, for another, and the chain of parents all through the ages (think about that for a long, hard moment).

 

– Uncontrollable disease for yet another, etc, etc.

 

So I encourage you to reflect on these kinds of things and to live your life as if a precious gift has been handed you. Because it has including everything it contains such as those who surround you, the place where you live, all you possess, and all you experience. All of this has been given to you by the most gracious of givers. Never forget it.

 

This is your life. Live it, appreciate all you have and get to experience, and let go of negativity. Because it truly does not matter.

 

This is your life. Live it.

 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: BE WHO YOU ARE NOT MATTER WHAT!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
Here’s a simple tip for experiencing true happiness throughout the days, weeks, years, and decades of your life: 1) Discover who you are (or keep exploring until you do), 2) Embrace and be okay with who you are, and 3) Be who you are in all of its color and glory (no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise!).
 
If you do this, you will live an authentic life filled with all of the happiness, peace, freedom, and excitement you could possibly hope for. It is YOUR life experience (and nobody else’s)! Live it that way!
 
A few years ago, a woman I met seemed a bit embarrassed about being “a geek”. Well, I told her to embrace that quality, hold her head high, and be a geek with a capital G! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with discovering who you are and being who you are. So, always remember that!
 
Another aspect of being who you are is the positive effect if can have on others. For example, people frequently tell me that I have a calming effect on them when they are in my presence. Many times, because of this people like being around me even if all we do is sit and enjoy the silence. It’s so wonderful being appreciated that way. But I wouldn’t be able to create this positive effect if I wasn’t true to myself and didn’t lead an authentic life.

Now, what some people may not understand about me is that I do a lot of things on my own and enjoy it. Although, many times I’m alone, I’m not lonely, and I’m actually happy. So, while I greatly appreciate the polite gestures I sometimes receive I’m really just being me and I’m happy being me.

For example, recently I went to the movies and was the only person there. Many people would have freaked out a little about that, but I was like, “Wow! How nice! I have the entire movie theater to myself!”.

So, find out who you are, be okay with who you are, and be who you are no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. If you do, you will feel happy and at peace for much of the time. And you will have this peace and happiness to offer to others. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Arrive Happier Than When the Journey Began

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way in which to live a happier life is to enjoy the process of getting there instead of focusing so much on end goals or destinations. There are frequently many opportunities for enjoyment, reflection, and relaxation all along the way which people do not take advantage of because of the stresses and negativities they tend to create by focusing solely on their end goals, dreams, or destinations and the potential periodic impact to these due to life’s happenings overall.

One thing that I frequently recommend to people, regarding the process of change, is to start small by planting seeds and gently moving in the direction of the changes they desire, perhaps within ordinary day-to-day activities, and then growing from there. For example, someone who wants to become a more disciplined person overall might start out by getting into the practice of becoming more disciplined in his or her daily routine and then growing from there. Over time he or she might experience not only a disciplined routine, but disciplined spending habits, disciplined work and business practices, disciplined health and fitness activities, and a disciplined life overall.

So how might one apply such a “plant the seeds” approach towards enjoying the process instead of merely focusing on end goals or destinations? Well, one way to get into this practice might be taking an ordinary thing that you do nearly each and every day and transforming it into an opportunity for promoting positive experiences such as viewing your modes of transportation, whether by car, by bus, by plane, or by train, as places for rest, relaxation, enjoyment, and reflection instead of purely as a means for getting there. If you do this you will look forward to these moments as places where you can be alone with your thoughts and might even experience joy and smile while reflecting on the positive aspects of your life, things that you can feel good about, that which you love and appreciate, the pleasant recent happenings of your life, reminiscing about the past, doing something else enjoyable, and perhaps even daydreaming a little. If you get into the practice of doing this you will feel more positive and relaxed upon reaching your destination whether you are starting your work day, winding down from work and going home, or arriving at some other location.

When doing this try out different approaches for creating a more peaceful and enjoyable environment for traveling to and from such as the use of relaxing, inspirational, or uplifting music, humor, audiobooks, or simply silence. If you are someone who tends to be late then try getting into the practice of waking up and leaving ten minutes or so earlier. The wonderful, peaceful, enjoyable, relaxed state of mind you will experience will be well worth the small sacrifice. Alternate between each of these approaches until you find something that works well for you. Some people find one approach that works so well for them that they want to keep doing it while others prefer variations and like to switch things up. Experiment a bit and then do whatever works best for you. Simply make it your goal to feel happier and more relaxed, on a regular basis, upon reaching your destination than when you first started the journey.

Another technique which can be helpful in these regards includes imagining that someone who you love dearly is traveling with you at the time such as a pet, a child, a significant other, or a grandparent or other relative that you love and appreciate. People tend to be more patient, cautious, humble, and relaxed when traveling with those that they love and appreciate so this can be a good approach to employ from time to time. Still another technique which might be helpful in these regards is when you witness offensive behavior at times, such as someone cutting in front of you, imagining the person is someone that you greatly love and care about who might exhibit similar qualities in some situations or perhaps even imagining situations in which you might behave in a similar fashion.

These are all wonderful ways in which to make your modes of transportation more pleasant, fun, relaxing, and safe. It can give you something to look forward to each and every day and is a small way in which to “plant the seeds” for getting you more into the practice of enjoying the process; allowing you to feel happier and more relaxed upon reaching your destination than before the journey began. Start by doing this for ordinary things that you do nearly each and every day such as traveling to and from and then grow from there. Eventually you will get to the point where you focus more on enjoying the process for multiple aspects of your life, such as the journey towards your goals and dreams, instead of purely focusing on destinations or end goals. What a wonderful life we could all enjoy and share if we each lived more in this fashion.

I hope this article will inspire some of you to live a happier life. I don’t care what approach you ultimately choose to use so long as it promotes greater peace, happiness, and enjoyment both within yourself and towards others. Just choose a pleasant, happy, enjoyable one.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

A Quick and Easy Technique For Creating Happiness, Peace, and Relaxation

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

This article shares a quick and easy technique that I frequently I use for creating happiness, peace, and relaxation. With the holiday season rapidly approaching, and the stress and chaos that it often brings, this might be just the thing some of you need to achieve greater joy, peace, and relaxation throughout the holidays (and beyond). The process I use is a simple two step process:

(1) Create a series of “reflective” playlists, of songs from your younger days, which promote happiness, peace, and relaxation. The songs may not necessarily be songs that you particularly enjoyed back then, but songs that others in your life may have listened to. The time frames that work best for me are the playlist of songs between my ages of 6 and 9 and another playlist of songs between my ages of 10 and 12, but also try creating playlists of songs of your teenage years and perhaps even your college years or other timeframes so long as they promote feelings of peace, happiness, and relaxation while perhaps avoiding those timeframes which do not. Prioritize each of your playlists such that the songs that promote the greatest joy, peace, and relaxation for you are at the top of each playlist. This ensures that when you are time constrained that you will at least get a chance to listen to those songs which sooth you most.

(2) Play one of your playlists at extremely low volume. It should sound almost like a pale, distant echo from another room. I find the best relaxation effect is created by disconnecting the speakers from my computer and using the internal speaker at low volume to create this effect. I’ve also used my Ipad for this purpose (again using the internal speaker only at extremely low volume). There’s something about the slight distant hint of these songs playing that promotes the joy, peace, and relaxation effect. So try this.

You can do this when doing things around the home, when driving, or at other times. Notice the joy, peace, and relaxation you experience whenever you do this. Try out each of your “reflective” playlists and use those that work best for you more frequently than the others and rearrange the songs such that those that are the most soothing to you remain at the top of these lists. What I often like to do is to play one of these playlists in this fashion while soaking in a warm bath. I then towel off, restart the playlist, and lie down in bed to relax while listening to the pale, faint, distant echoes of the music. Sometimes I’ll rest for about 30 minutes or so and at other times I’ll simply go to sleep for what always amounts to a deep, peaceful, restful sleep. Either way, when I get out of bed I am filled with joy and peace. And it lasts for hours. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

This article describes one way in which to rapidly experience greater happiness, peace, and relaxation in your life. I encourage you to give this a try. It works wonders for me. I hope it works well for you as well. Other articles that I’ve written related to creating and living a happier life include:
(1) Creating Healthy Boundaries in Relationship Situations
(2) Living Mindfully and Intentionally, Being Clear Headed and Open-Minded, and Releasing the Need to be Right or Defensive
(3) Keeping Life Enjoyable, Interesting, and Fun By Breaking Out of the Routine of Things
(4) Achieving Greater Peace and Happiness By Evaluating, Prioritizing, and Adjusting Life Activities
(5) A Wonderful Way to Gain a Greater Appreciation of Others

Feel free to read some of these other articles if you think they might be helpful in helping you to experience greater warmth, peace, and happiness in your life.

For those that do not know, I generally perform life coaching and training services in two primary areas: 1) Personal and Professional Improvement, Development, and Growth, and 2) Financial Planning, Management, and Investing. As such, I generally alternate the articles that I write via my blogs between these two topic areas. This particular article is associated with the first area that I life coach in. So if you don’t have much interest in personal and professional improvement, development, and growth, rest assured that the next article that I write will be in the area that you might have greater interest in; the financial planning, management, and investing area. You can also follow me on Twitter if you like at: Joseph M Brennan Jr @ BrighterDaysLC

Please contact me if you, or someone else in your life, could use some assistance with personal improvement, development, or growth as this is one of the areas that I actively perform life coaching in. Also feel free to click on “Personal Improvement, Development, and Growth Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) for helpful tips on how to create greater peace, happiness, and progress in your life.

Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
CEO/Life Coach – Brighter Days Life Coaching
“Your Brighter Days Life Coach for Life”

6-27-2013BrennanPhotos-Main1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a Bad Day Better
Make a Good Day Better
Create a Brighter Life

 

A Wonderful Way to Gain a Greater Appreciation of Others

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Having experienced heartbreak recently, I thought I might use this as an opportunity to write a post about appreciating others. One thing I often tell people to do is practice experiencing as if for the last time from time to time. And this especially includes those you love and care about. A wonderful way to gain greater appreciation for someone you are currently spending time with involves imagining this will be the very last time that you will see this person in a very long time. When you do this you might find yourself: (1) less eager to share and more eager to listen,  (2) seeking to capture every subtle facial expression, eye movement, and gesture, (3) smiling in love and amazement and appreciation, and (4) expressing some heart-to-heart something you’ve never told the person but always wanted to. What a wonderful experience for you. But, think about how wonderful the experience will be for the other person when you focus your full and complete love and attention on him or her and express your deepest thoughts and feelings. And every action has a reaction so don’t be surprised if you find that same love and appreciation beaming right back at you.

If you do this, you will create special, quality, loving moments all along the way. Then if something should happen where those you love and care about are no longer in your life, for whatever reason, you will at least be comforted in knowing that you spent many special, quality, loving moments together while you had the chance.

Now, sometimes others no longer being in our day-to-day lives are not necessarily related to dismal circumstances such as those involving death but due to relocations, job transfers, or something like that. Whenever this happens, I always encourage people to practice experiencing these people as if for the last time from time to time even then.

For example, you might imagine this will be the very last conversation you will have with the person in a very long time via the phone, video chat, social media, or other long distance methods. Notice how this changes you and how this changes the dynamics between the two of you. You might also use the “practice experiencing as if the last time” technique when visiting the person or when the person visits you.

All of these are wonderful ways in which to gain greater appreciation for others in our lives and to create special, quality, loving moments all along the way. So do this for yourself, and others, if you can. It can add such warmth, color, and vibrance to your life if you do this from time to time.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships