balance

HOW TO DEFEAT ANY DISTRESS WITHOUT DOPE, DRINKS, DRUGS, DEBT, OR DOCTORS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One of the key contributors to negativity and unhappiness in life has nothing to do with needing money, drugs, drinks, or doctors and everything to do with how you live your life. Anytime you experience these kinds of negative thoughts and feelings, take a step back and objectively consider what external factors might be contributing to these. Next, work towards addressing each of the external factors until you have addressed them all.

 

Frequently, many of the negativities experienced in life are created and amplified by the effects of external factors which accumulate from day to day, week to week, and month to month. Some of the more common external factors which contribute to negativity and unhappiness in life include the following:

 

  • Stress. Consider whether or not you have been experiencing a significant amount of stress. If you have, actively take actions to relieve and manage this stress. Stress produces adrenaline, cortisol, and several other biochemicals in the bloodstream which can lead to depression, anxiety, and other forms of negativity and unhappiness to include more stress.

 

  • Insufficient Sleep. Consider whether or not you’ve been getting enough restful sleep on a regular basis or whether your sleeping patterns have been irregular, erratic, or restless in nature. As indicated above, anytime you experience stress and negativity in life, the body reacts by producing cortisol (and other biochemicals as indicated under “stress” item above). One of the only times the body does not produce these is when we are getting restful sleep. Thus, the more restful sleep we get, the more relaxation time we get away from stress and negativity. So, take actions to ensure you get the restful sleep you need by tiring the body out, calming the mind, and going to bed at a regular time on a daily basis. If you choose to drink alcohol, make sure you drink in moderation and that you finish your final drink a couple of hours prior to bedtime. It’s also a good idea to disengage from any mind stimulating activities about an hour or so before going to bed such as television, movies, computer games, and the internet/social media. Reading is a healthy activity which can be performed instead which tends to have a calming effect on the mind. The guide I generally give to people for getting peaceful, restful sleep is the following: (1) Perform physical exercise a few hours prior to bedtime to tire the body out. (2) Massage the legs and body extensively by rolling around on a foam roller. (3) Relax in a warm bubble bath while playing some relaxing music in the background. (4) Lie in bed listening to a guided meditation to focus the mind on calm, pleasant, warming thoughts prior to falling asleep. (5) Just prior to falling asleep focus on one positive thought (and upon waking start your day with this same positive thought).

 

  • Irregular Physical Exercise. Consider whether or not you have been regularly getting physical exercise. Physical exercise and sleep go hand in hand. Physical exercise elevates the mood through the release of endorphins to the bloodstream, relieves stress, and tires the body so we get better sleep. As such, we address several contributing factors to stress, depression, anxiety, and other negative feelings just by performing exercise alone.

 

  • Insufficient Nutrition or Health Problems. Consider whether or not you have been eating adequately and regularly or are experiencing health problems. Whenever we do not get the nutrients we need or are experiencing health problems, these can contribute towards any negative feelings we might experience in life. For example, sometimes I experience anxiety, sleeplessness, or sluggishness when the pollen count is high and my allergies are triggered. All of which can be addressed by simply taking my allergy medications.

 

  • Dehydration. Consider whether or not you have been drinking enough healthy fluids (e.g., water) to remain hydrated throughout your days and nights. The bare minimum should be eight 8 oz glasses a day but the actual amount needed is individual and situation dependent. For example, the Institute of Medicine (IOM) currently recommends that men drink at least 104 ounces of water per day which is thirteen 8 oz glasses. If you are exposed to hot temperatures or are performing physically exerting work or other physical activities such as exercise, then additional healthy fluids are needed to remain sufficiently hydrated. Anytime we experience dehydration, this can contribute to fatigue, sluggishness, sleepiness, and any negative feelings we might experience.

 

  • Uncomfortable temperatures. Consider whether or not it is too hot or cold and take actions to make adjustments accordingly. Often uncomfortable temperatures and humidity can contribute towards any negative feelings we might experience.

 

When external factors, such as the above, begin to accumulate from one day to the next, we will experience the amplified effects of these and, as a result, feel increasingly negative, stressed out, uneasy, and unhappy. And the EXTERNAL FACTORS CREATING STRESS AND NEGATIVITY CYCLE will continue until we actively take steps to address these external factors and live a healthier lifestyle.

 

Most people would be amazed at how wonderful they would feel just by addressing the above external factors. Once they do, they often find the negative feelings they’ve struggled with in their lives, such as stress, anxiety, and depression, disappear completely or become much smaller and more manageable.

 

No. You don’t need dope, drinks, drugs, debt, or doctors for much of the stress, negativity, and unhappiness experienced in life. You just need to address a few, basic external factors and live a healthier life by breaking the EXTERNAL FACTORS CREATING STRESS AND NEGATIVITY CYCLE.

 

Now, there have been several occasions in my life where I experienced periods of stress, depression, anxiety, and other negative feelings and, upon further reflection, came to the realization I was not eating as well, not sleeping as well, or not exercising as well as I usually would. Upon coming to this realization, my negative feelings would immediately begin to lift due to the identification of a probable cause. I would then actively take actions to address the external contributing factors observed. Actions which often resulted in my negative feelings disappearing completely within hours or days. I encourage you try similar kinds of activities whenever you experience negative feelings and unhappiness in your life.

 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: WORK TOWARDS SOLVING ACTUAL PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF PERCEIVED ONES

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing I frequently tell people for improving the future and living a happier life involves working towards solving actual, instead of perceived, problems. People I coach often seek to make positive changes in their lives and have specific perceived “issues” they want to initially focus on. But, the first question I generally ponder is whether the proposed change will offer the most optimal change for the person overall. The change that will create the greatest happiness, inspiration, fulfillment, and/or success for the individual.

Often, people feel they have specific issues which must be resolved before they will ever be able to live happier. However, the first question I frequently ask in such situations is: “Why do you think this is such a significant issue, how does this create unhappiness, discontent, and negativity in your life, and in what ways does it hinder you?” If the problem is truly significant, the person should be able to articulate concrete responses to this. Otherwise, it is likely to be more of a perceived problem than an actual one.

Another thing I like to do in this regard is ask the person what he or she thinks life would be like if the problem did not exist or how things might be different and allow this vision to guide his or her actions towards improvement. The point of these kinds of inquiries is determining whether the perceived problem is an actual (and significant) one before putting forth the time and energy towards resolving it.

You might be surprised at how much time and energy people put towards solving problems that were never true problems to begin with. They were merely perceived issues they told themselves they had even though these did not concretely create unhappiness, discontent, or negativity in their lives other than in the thoughts surrounding their perceived need to resolve them.

Sometimes, the perceived problems we have are not problems at all other than our acceptance that these are part of who we are. And if there is little or no evidence of these concretely creating unhappiness, discontent, and negativity in our lives, then we would benefit from seeking a more optimal positive change for ourselves so we can better realize greater happiness, inspiration, fulfillment, and success in life.

The point of all this is making sure you perform a thorough investigation before attempting to solve problems which may not truly be problems at all. You will save yourself a lot of time, energy, stress, unhappiness, and frustration if you do.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

HAPPINESS TIP: REMEMBER THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTIONS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY (PART ONE: LIFE QUESTION #1)

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One key to happiness is remembering the three most important life questions and living your life accordingly. What do you suppose the most important life question is?

 

Drum roll…

 

Well the most important life question is “WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?” Independent of what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. This is YOUR life experience and no one else’s! And it can be whatever you want it to be! So, always remember this and live your life accordingly.

Life experience includes everything from the macro, to the micro, to the temporary, to the more persistent or more permanent. It can include that which you just want to explore or try out, that which you want to experience or experiment with, that which lasts days or weeks, and that which lasts months, years, decades, or even lifelong. There is no limit. It can be a wide variety of things or just a select few. And it can change. So, it can be whatever you want it to be at the time as well as all the time.

One of the key contributors to unhappiness in life is living other people’s lives. To be truly happy, you must live an AUTHENTIC life – your own life – and nobody else’s. So, always remember that.

This also means other people need to be free to live their life experiences – whatever they want them to be – independent of what YOU think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. It’s okay to offer advice, but just remember that ultimately it is THEIR life experience and not yours.

Now, one caveat to the above is that it must be a healthy life experience (overall) such that the life experience you choose does not physically harm yourself or others. Otherwise, the playing field is wide open.

What an exciting, wonderful, happy life you (and others) will share when you live in the above fashion. So, always remember: Your life experience can be anything you want it to be. Start today. Your future is filled with nothing but endless possibility. The reels are empty. This is your movie. Create it!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

In Part Two, I will reveal the second most important life question. Can anyone guess what it might be?

HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU

Many people spend so much of their time focused on getting there that they fail to appreciate the moment and their surroundings. Don’t do this to yourself. Mindfully slow things down a bit, every once in a while, and marvel at the world which surrounds you. You can do this while walking, driving, riding, or even sitting.

What I like to do is imagine my surroundings have been painted through the sentimental eyes of appreciation of an artist. How many paintings have you seen which were so cozy, so warming, so inspirational, and so inviting that you just wanted to be there? Well, imagine your surroundings were painted by such an artist and slow down a bit and smile and bask in the joy of it.

Anytime you do this, you will be able to transform even otherwise dull surroundings into something precious, wondrous, magnificent, and deeply moving; filling yourself with the warmth, joy, wonder, inspiration, and exhilaration of complete appreciation. And what might have been even boring, ordinary days will become extraordinary and you will feel happy, lively, and cheerful for much of the time. So, do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Happiness Tip: Live with a Sense of Balance

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people consume so much of their lives doing for others that they have little time or energy for doing (or even discovering) what they want for themselves. Don’t do this to yourself. Live with a sense of balance so that you do for (and give to) yourself all along the way. Both in the micro sense and in the macro sense.

In the micro, day-to-day and week-to-week, sense, you might incorporate more of what you want in life on a regular basis such as health and fitness activities,  things you enjoy, creative expression, exploration and adventure, social activities,  solitude, and learning activities.

In the macro, longer term sense, you might work towards that which you would like to achieve or accomplish such as earning  advanced degrees, writing books, establishing a business, transitioning into a rewarding new career, traveling, and any dreams or desires you might have.
 
If you live with a sense of balance, you will retain sight of and make that which you want in life a priority all along the way. You will live a rewarding, fulfilling life and accomplish so much more than you ever dreamed possible.
 
Many people wait until they reach retirement age to start working towards what they truly want in their lives. An age where they have less stamina and mental and physical abilities. So retirement, if it ever happens, can become a mad, stressful, tiring rush of “catch up” activities they’ve never taken the time to do in their lives. 
 
On 30 September, I retired from 29 years of federal service (4 years for the Marine Corps and 25 years for the Army). I was thankful that I retired after having already lived a full life of travel, writing and publishing, establishing a new rewarding career,  and accomplishing pretty much everything I truly desired in life. Thus, my retirement years will be this wonderful, peaceful ease of taking things at a leisurely pace and doing that which inspires and motivates and makes me happy in its own time. And I would want it no other way.
 
So, I  encourage you to live with a sense of balance all along the way by making yourself a priority in your life. It’s okay to have temporary  imbalance, from time to time, when you are working towards something you really want for yourself such as an education or success in your work, but always define where the exit is so that you can get back to living a balanced life. If you do this,  you will feel happy, fulfilled, accomplished, and at peace for much of your life. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Happiness Tip: Take An Easiest First Approach to Change

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people struggle with making the changes they desire in life. Frequently, this happens because they make the process of change so sudden and overwhelming that it’s difficult to find the motivation to even begin much less sustain.

What I frequently tell people to do in this regard is taking an “easiest first” approach to change and then growing from there. By identifying easy ways to move in the direction of the changes you desire, you will start making progress sooner, increase your comfort level, and build your motivation and confidence towards making the changes you desire. Changes which you will be able to incrementally build upon over time.

For example, if you desire to start a fitness routine, you might ask yourself what would be the easiest three days of the week, the best time of day, and what exercises you could reasonably initially perform successfully. You could then begin working towards this. Once you get comfortable with your new routine, you might then ask yourself what the next easiest day to add to the weekly routine might be and/or increase the amount of time or intensity of the exercises performed.

Alternatively, if you feel you are obsessive about something that you do everyday and want to move in the direction of reducing this so that it does not consume so much of your life, then you might ask yourself what might be the easiest days to skip the activity. For example, you might initially only allow yourself to perform this activity on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays until you get comfortable with the new routine and then reduce it to only Tuesdays and Fridays.

Both of these examples illustrate how to take an “easiest first” approach towards the process of change. So, do this for yourself if you can. You will be amazed at the progress you make when you operate in this fashion.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 

 

 

Happiness Tip: Focus More on Creating Instead of Pursuing Happiness

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Many people in life spend much of their time and energy pursuing happiness instead of taking steps to create it. And that which is actively pursued frequently evades while that which is actively created frequently attracts.

 
Thus, creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings will tend to attract that which we might otherwise pursue such as success or relationships with others (romantic and otherwise including friendships and acquaintances). By taking steps to create happiness, you will progress towards becoming one of those wonderful, happy people everyone loves to be around. Those who “beam” with warmth and positive energy and seem to attract love, friendship, and success almost effortlessly.
 
What a wonderful world we could all create and share if we each focused more on creating happiness within ourselves and within our surroundings. So, seek to find what makes you happy and fill more of your life with that which does and less with that which does not.
 
And if you do not know what truly makes you happy, then explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. In fact, I  recommend always including some aspects of exploration and adventure in your life, even while doing that which you already know makes you happy. Because you never know.  You might just discover even more which adds to your happiness. And even if you don’t, you will keep life fresh and interesting.
 
So, do these kinds of things for yourself if you can. Because you can never become too happy. 
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Live Your Own Life and Your Life Only

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Live your own life, and your life only, no matter what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince you otherwise. Many people who experience unhappiness in their lives do so, because  they are living other people’s lives and not their own. And often they are not even aware they are doing this.

This is your life and your journey. Treat it as such by finding out who you are and what you want and live that way by being true to yourself such that you live an authentic life. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel when you live this way.

And if you are not to the point in your life where you know who you are and what you truly want, then simply explore and live with a sense of adventure until you do. I frequently tell people that exploration and adventure is the spice of life. So continue doing these kinds of things as well.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you start living your own life. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus On What You Have Instead of What You’ve Lost

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: Focus on what you have instead of what you have lost. Especially if you’re going through a period of stress, anxiety, depression, sadness, or other forms of unhappiness and negativity. This goes for the people in your life, the relationships you have, your finances, and your possessions.

For those select times when you decide you truly want to focus on a loss (such as a period following a break-up), allow it, but do it in a mindful fashion instead of in an automated, reactive fashion the way people often do. Mindfully decide to do it and mindfully decide for how long. Then get back to enjoying your life and focusing on what you have in your life.

You will be amazed at how much happier, upbeat, and positive you will feel when you do this. So do this for yourself if you can.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Practice and Value Open-Mindedness, Kindness, and Compassion

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Those who know me pretty well know that some of the things I value are patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. Perhaps the only things I am strongly against are strong opinions and beliefs.

It’s a sad, sad fact that many people would rather ruin relationships with others and hold on rigidly to their present beliefs and opinions than entertain or even tolerate alternate viewpoints.

And the other sad fact is the beliefs and opinions people hold so dearly today often change over time which means that they might have carelessly thrown away potentially valuable relationships for nothing. Don’t do this to yourself or anyone else. Never underestimate the value of patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion. Even when we presently disagree with others on certain topics that does not mean we cannot say to those others: “Right now I disagree with you, but I respect your present opinion or belief and love and care about and wish you well” with the understanding that over time, if we are open-minded enough, opinions and beliefs can change.

So many treat every topic or issue as an “all or nothing” kind of thing, but most things in life are not that way. There can be an element of “truth” and “possibility” and “rightness” and “understanding” on every side of a topic or issue. What a wonderful world we could all share if we each understood this and practiced open-mindedness, kindness, and compassion on a regular basis.

Well, a book I recently read, Mark Manson’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” highlights some good reasons to embrace values such as patience, openness, kindness, acceptance, and compassion:

Always being right is a horrible value to have because:

“We consistently make poor assumptions, …, misremember facts, give in to cognitive biases, and make decisions based on emotional whims. As humans, we’re wrong pretty much constantly … People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes and … close themselves off to new and important information.”

“Most of our beliefs are wrong. Or, to be more exact, all beliefs are wrong—some are just less wrong than others. The human mind is a jumble of inaccuracy. “

There is no way to love, kindness, peace, and happiness. Love, kindness, peace, and happiness is the way. So embrace and be that today, tomorrow, and every day that follows.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

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