balance

HAPPINESS TIP: LIVE WITHOUT REGRETS OF WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way to live happier is taking steps to better ensure you live without regrets. This essentially involves taking chances: taking chances on people, taking chances on opportunities, and taking chances on life experiences.

For example, back in my early 30s, to overcome my shy nature with respect to initiating conversations with others I did not know, I created and adopted the expression: “I’d rather try than be haunted by…” because the potential discomfort of trying and getting shunned was less painful than the haunting, restless thoughts of what might have been.

And I’ve had a lot of fun and gained a number of friends and wonderful life experiences over the years because of this. Many of which involve friendships which have lasted 15+ years!

A simple way to express this idea is (which my more intellectual followers might appreciate): “If A would like B to be a part of A’s life experience, then it probably makes sense for A to do something to initiate the process or communicate some sort of interest. Otherwise it may not happen.”

So, do not miss out on these kinds of wonderful life opportunities! The people and experiences in your life can add such color, beauty, excitement, and comfort throughout the months, years, and decades of your life. I STRONGLY encourage you to do this for yourself from time to time. Because you never know what might happen. So, do this for yourself if your can!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: AVOID MAKING “PERFECT” DECISIONS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There is no such thing as “the right decision”. There are good decisions, bad decisions, and decisions which lie between these two extremes. One of the keys to living a happy, stress-free life is making and being content with decisions which are good enough instead of those which are “perfect”. Because, perfectionism is never worth the cost. Nothing will ever be perfect no matter how much time, energy, and resources you put towards something. Simply consider a few facts or indicators, make a favorable decision based on these, and move out on that decision. You will live happier and make more progress in life if you do.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

BE A SOURCE OF PEACE, PATIENCE, AND POSITIVITY TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing which can be helpful when those you love and appreciate are burdened by something or experiencing extreme negative thoughts and feelings is being a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for the troubled person (and others in your life). Anytime others perceive us as a consistent source of these kinds of positive qualities, they will spend more time with us and communicate with us more – both in good times and bad.

If you truly desire to serve as this constant source of peace, patience, and positivity to others, then focus on this desired vision for yourself and ask yourself what actions you can take today, tomorrow, next week, and next month to progress towards this and then start taking these actions. In addition, review and reflect on your progress by asking yourself, throughout your days, if your behaviors, actions, and communications have been consistent with your vision and make adjustments accordingly to ensure you converge towards it – saying “yes” to anything which moves you closer to your vision of peace, patience, and positivity and “no” to anything which does not. If you do these things, you will begin to embody the positive qualities you are envisioning for yourself.

I used this very technique to help a young woman I coached recently named Anne. Anne was worried because her girlfriend was becoming distant – not spending as much time or communicating with her as much as she had in the past. After talking with Anne further, it came to light that her girlfriend was getting overwhelmed by the health problems her mother was experiencing and the need for constant support. And things kept getting worse.

Up to that point in time, Anne would freely share her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend. It’s just something they had always done. I pointed out to Anne that her girlfriend – in going through the challenges with her mother – was living a life far out of balance and the imbalance and happenings in her life were creating a substantial amount stress, negativity, and chaos. As such, burdening her girlfriend further by communicating her own problems, issues, and concerns would make her girlfriend feel even more overwhelmed and intensify her negative feelings of stress, irritability, sadness, anxiety, and chaos – all of which might create additional withdrawal and isolation (in the best case) or a quick, desperate reaction (in the worst case).

So, I strongly encouraged Anne to refrain from sharing her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend during this period of time and instead sharing them with others in her life if she felt the need – others who were not going through such intense challenges in their lives. I also challenged Anne to focus primarily on becoming a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for her girlfriend because of the increased likelihood they might spend more time together and communicate more with each other if her girlfriend associated Anne with these kinds of positive qualities – positive qualities which offered: (1) a safe haven away from all of the chaos and imbalance she was experiencing, and (2) a way of gaining back some of that balance and recharging and rejuvenating herself in the process.

Well, Anne did exactly that – actively taking steps to become a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity to her girlfriend – saying “yes” to anything that moved her closer to this vision and “no” to anything which did not. And sure enough, her girlfriend started coming around much more often and they were able to recover from what might have otherwise resulted in a tragic event.

So, always keep this in mind when dealing with people in your life who are experiencing significant challenges. They might need a break from everything they are going through – and if you can offer this to them, this might be the very thing which allows them to successfully navigate and overcome the highly stressful challenges and events in their lives.   

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

THE HUGE HIDDEN WAY TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY YES TO ANYONE WITHOUT DOING THIS FIRST!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Sometimes, in our lives, we might say “yes” to those we are close to even when doing so might make us unhappy. Often, people do this out of their desire to be supportive and create additional closeness with others. However, what they fail to realize is that whenever they sacrifice their own happiness, needs, and desires in support of others, they will frequently create negative thoughts and feelings towards those they are seeking to please (as well as themselves). Thus, instead of the closeness they anticipated creating, they often end up creating distance instead.

For example, imagine you finally got a day to yourself and decided to spend the day being creative and doing some paintings you’ve been wanting to work on for some time now. Your romantic partner – upon realizing that you had the day off – asks you to perform a few errands and to get together for lunch. You don’t really want to do any of this because it interferes with your own plans but you agree to it because you think it would be kinder and less selfish of you to do so. So, you end up spending a few hours doing this and even though it only took a few hours, it might create negative thoughts and feelings towards your partner (and yourself) in the hours and days and weeks which follow – something which can create distance in your relationship instead of the closeness you had anticipated creating by being so supportive. This can happen anytime that you place the happiness and desires of others before your own. Especially, for things which truly matter to you.

Another example of this involves making plans. Recently, I coached a woman who had communicated that her boyfriend planned events for them to attend which she did not enjoy very much. She would go because he was her boyfriend but she would experience a large amount of stress, negativity, and anxiety leading up to the events, awkwardness at the events themselves when trying to “fit in” and being careful not to do anything socially awkward, and after the events when repeatedly criticizing herself for any faults or imperfections and telling herself she should have done better. So, she would experience a huge amount of stress, anxiety, and negativity leading up to the events, during the events themselves, and after the events. Stress, anxiety, and negativity which consumed her and made her less available and attentive towards herself and her partner.

The problem with situations such as the above is frequently people plan events and activities based on what they value. And values tend to vary widely between one person and the next. For example, her partner was very extroverted in nature and enjoyed large gatherings and events. She was the opposite. So, I encouraged her to have honest discussions with her partner about her values and preferences so that he could become more mindful of these and make plans accordingly. I also encouraged her to get in the practice of saying “no” to things which make her unhappy – because doing what you truly do not want to do can affect your relationships in huge and lasting ways.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, authentic life – your own and nobody else’s. And you will take actions and support events and activities which are ALWAYS right for you and others in your life. What a wonderful life you will create and share if you live in this fashion. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can. Oh, and also be sure to read this related article about why you should never take the advice of anyone (including me!)!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS CHALLENGE: BE AND SEE THE LIGHT AND WARMTH

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a worthwhile happiness challenge for you: See how many times you can be the light and warmth to others and see the light and warmth within others. We provide such joy and peace to those who come in contact with us when we are happy, calm, and peaceful ourselves – even when no words are spoken. So, strive to be that beaming light of love, warmth, happiness, peace, and inspiration each and every day.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

ALLOW OTHERS TO HAVE THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCE AND LIVE AND LEARN FREELY

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There have been times in my life where, with respect to the dating or relationship situations of others, I thought something like: “How silly (or even stupid) of him/her to put up with that other person’s crapola! He/she is getting treated like dirt!” Only to find weeks or even months later that the relationship not only survived but thrived and the couple became happier than they had ever been. How can that be? Well, you never know how things might change. You have to remember the dynamics between people. Initial interest can evolve and grow into warmth (and even love) and sometimes people change because they want to change and because they want to be better. It doesn’t always happen. But sometimes it does.

So, those I might have initially perceived as silly (or even stupid) in those situations turned out to be the smart ones. Those who loved, were patient, and put up with all of the initial crapola because they saw something I could not see. Something that made it worth the initial pains and frustrations to get to. And, in those situations, I found my initial distaste transformed into admiration. Because they did not give up. They worked (and sometimes even struggled) but made it happen.

So, do not judge others. Feel free to offer advice or assistance from time to time, as a friend or family member, but allow them to live and learn freely. It is their life experience. Not yours.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness $relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: ALWAYS APPRECIATE HOW BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL YOU ARE

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Always know and appreciate how beautiful and wonderful you are. Sometimes in life you might come across those who do not appear to love, respect, and appreciate you but whenever that happens you must love, respect, and appreciate yourself enough to invest your time and energy towards others who do.

Keep your eyes and your heart open, for those who may not have loved, respected, and appreciated you in the past, may heal over time, and then passionately and resolutely return to you once they again realize what a beautiful, wonderful soul you are. Until that happens invest your time and energy towards those who already know that.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY BY GIVING EVERYTHING THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES (AND NOTHING MORE)!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

You can lead a rich and rewarding life by making yourself a priority and focusing on that which truly matters and disregarding the rest. So, DO NOT spend another moment doing meaningless things whether it’s a senseless task at work, something you’ve been invited to that you have no interest in, or somebody else’s drama or gossip which you could care less about. A great, stress-free way to handle anything you encounter in life is to simply GIVE IT THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES (AND NOTHING MORE)!

For example, if my boss gives me a pointless task I might respond, “Yes, boss. I’ll get right on that.” But if, in my opinion, it is truly a senseless task I might spend 10 minutes on it. If someone starts saying horrible things about someone else I might nod and say, “Well, it was nice seeing you,” and then be on my way. If someone else asks me to help out with something that I have no interest in I might say something like,  “I’m sorry but I’m going to be busy then,” and free up that time for something else which might be more rewarding or inspirational in nature.

You can lead a happy, peaceful, stress-free life by simply making yourself a priority and giving things the attention they deserve all along the way. You don’t have to be involved with everything that comes your way or goes on around you and you certainly don’t have to do everything to the highest standard. Especially that which seems pointless, is not well thought out, or doesn’t matter much. So many people spend so much of their lives inflating small things into big things without realizing they DO NOT have to participate. Simply step back, give it some thought, and give it the attention it deserves. Each and every time.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, stress-free life. And you will have time, energy, and resources available to put towards that which truly matters to you instead of consuming your life with that which does not. What a wonderful life you will create for yourself (and others) if you live in this fashion.

Well, there you have it. Now, you know one of my life secrets. So, if at any time, I look at you and smile and you’re wondering why I’m not rushing out to buy that latest thing you told me about which will “change my life forever” or not following your “fantastic” advice, well, I might just be thinking: “Yeah. Thanks for that great advice. I’m giving it the attention it deserves.”

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

Be the Most Gracious of Guests While Here on This Planet

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.
People frequently ask me questions like why I am so happy, why I’m vegan, and why I pick up recyclables when they see me walking or running. Well, much of it has to do with the way I look at life and my philosophy on life as a whole. The following story I wrote a few years ago presents much of how I see things and why I do what I do and feel the way I feel. The edited version of this story was presented in my first self-help book, LIVING BLISS to more gently introduce this philosophy. The complete, unedited version is provided in my second self-help book, LOVING YOUR LIFE, for readers interested in achieving a fuller, deeper, and more complete understanding. I encourage you to read the below story, reflect upon it, and ask yourself what positive changes you might like to make in your life as a result.
 

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

 
 
THE UNWELCOME GUEST
 
Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a house guest for a few days while you were away. Several weeks later he’s still in your home and has pretty much taken over your entire place. He invites loud, boisterous friends over to play cards and to drink beer and you find yourself spending more and more time away from your home, because you feel threatened by him and his friends who act hostile towards you for not being the way that they are. Even on quieter nights, when only you and he are at home, and you want to sit in the living room to watch television he’s always there ~ sprawled out on the couch watching something that you have no interest in.
 
You go to the refrigerator to get a glass of water from your fresh jug of spring water, but the container is empty. While you are there you decide you’re hungry and think you might enjoy some of that delicious vegetable casserole you prepared the day before, but find that the container has been half eaten and carelessly tossed onto one of the counter tops. Your home ~ which used to be tidy and neat ~ now has dirty clothes and trash strewn all about and dirty counters and dishes everywhere. The floors and carpets are saturated with dirt, mud, beer, and food. All of this mess, because your guest does not clean up after himself. Sometimes, he doesn’t even flush the toilet after using the bathroom and he leaves soiled pots and pans on the counters and in the sink. All in all, your home has become a dirty, stinking, filthy mess. How does this make you feel towards your house guest?
 
Now consider another kind of house guest. Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a different person for a few days while you were away. When you return you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified to the extent that it is in far better condition than when you first left. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. You find yourself looking forward to going home and wanting to spend more time in your home, because of how much more wonderful it has become. How wonderful would you feel and how likely would you be to help and do nice things for this person in the future? Most likely, you would want to become more a part of the person’s life, desire to do more to contribute to his or her life, and make the individual feel warmly welcome to come back and visit in the future.
 
Well, the spiritual world operates in very much the same fashion whether your belief system involves God, the universe, or some other higher power or spiritual representation. The more you express genuine appreciation the more love, peace, and happiness you will experience and have to be appreciative of ~ the spiritual world continually rewarding your appreciation with more to be appreciative of and showering with love, peace, and happiness the lives of those “house guests” here on this planet who are kind, mindful, considerate, and appreciative of the hospitality extended to them by the most gracious of givers. Those who generously offer kind and mindful contributions to the world for the benefit of all of our creator’s creations ~ making the earth a better and more pleasant place for all who share our planet.
 
Fortunately, for us ~ with respect to the unwelcome guest scenario presented towards the beginning of this section above ~ we can resolve situations such as this long before they get too out of hand and without too much effort. We have a police force that can serve and protect us, negotiate threatening situations, and keep offenders from returning. If only nature and less fortunate persons had others looking out for them in similar ways. Such hardship is unnecessarily created just so people can live more comfortably and conveniently. However, many of us are not mindful of this and do not carry this awareness.
 
Through kindness, lovingness, and mindfulness we can create a wonderful, new world:
 
~ A world in which we realize we are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and deserves to be free from fear, pain, suffering, and death.
 
~ A world in which we LOVE-AND-CHERISH-AND-OPEN-OUR-HEARTS towards other living and breathing beings as we do towards ourselves.
 
We can become more mindful. We can become more respectful. We can become more considerate and make kinder choices. We can love, and appreciate, and cherish all of life and generously share our world with other living and breathing beings. We can purge our homes of that unwelcome guest and assist all of our fellow, innocent, living and breathing beings in doing the same by becoming the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests in loving appreciation for the wonderful lives and the hospitality we have all been graciously granted. We can achieve this by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions.
 
The earth has historically been a holocaust of animal farming and production, animal exploitation, and animal science and testing ~ hardships unnecessarily created for nature just so people can: live more comfortably and conveniently, build and expand, reap profits and rewards, advertise products and services, and be entertained. Other living and breathing beings are continuously exploited and forced to suffer their entire lives to support the interests of the advertisement and entertainment industries, the research community, and the food, clothing, and dairy production industries. However, we can create a better world today for all who share our planet. We are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and we can love and care for other living and breathing beings as we do for ourselves.
 
 
So, the above story summarizes my philosophy on life. I believe life is such a wonderful gift and we are all guests here on this planet. Guests of God’s (or our higher power’s) hospitality. This is one reason why I am ever so thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life I get to share with other living and breathing beings who share our planet. Thus, I make an effort each and every day to express my appreciation and gratitude. One of the primary ways I do this is by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions. Whenever we live our lives in this fashion we create peace and happiness within our own lives, within the lives of others, and within the world which surrounds us.
 
In my own life I choose to live mindfully in a variety of ways to include: minimizing waste, living in moderation, relishing all of life (humans and nonhumans alike), and making a positive imprint to make the world of today and the world of tomorrow a better place. I see one of my primary purposes in life as one of offering and promoting happiness, appreciation, and well-being for the benefit of all living and breathing beings including:
 
~ loving, respecting, appreciating, and living in harmony with the earth and all who share her,
 
~ extending love, warmth, and kindness to others, and
 
~ living kindly and mindfully so as not to cause pain, suffering, or harm.
 
Everything that surrounds us has been loaned to us by the most gracious of givers: God, the universe, and/or our higher power. As such, there is nothing in this world that we truly own. Even our lives have been loaned to us. So let’s make the most of our lives and strive to become the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests while living here on this planet.
 
I have the strongest desire to be that gracious, kind, and mindful guest. As such, each and every day I strive to live ever more mindfully and to contribute to the world which surrounds me. I encourage you to do the same. What a wonderful world we could all share if each and every one of us contributed in these regards.