Aretha Franklin got it right. R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the key for being able to relate to others and building and maintaining strong relationships in life – whether friends, family, significant others, co-workers, acquaintances, or business associates. As a life coach, I frequently get asked for help on repairing old relationships, strengthening existing ones, and creating new, rewarding relationships. And mutual R-E-S-P-E-C-T, between you and others, is the absolute key for every kind of relationship.
For example, someone I was recently helping was struggling with a past, longstanding friendship that started going badly and kept getting worse. She informed me that their conversations got to the point they were becoming toxic and energy depleting in nature, and asked if there might be any way to salvage such a friendship.
Well, it depends. The best you can do is your part for re-establishing communications which are positive and constructive in nature and see what happens. If you do this in a repeated, consistent fashion it might actually help. However, always remember that all you control is your contribution – not the result. And that’s okay no matter how things go, because at least you can feel good in knowing you did your part in trying salvage the relationship – that is, you did at least try.
A good practice to get into is monitoring the polarity of your communications with others and taking immediate action anytime these start moving into negative or disrespectful territory. There are always kind and respectful ways to communicate most everything. So, don’t share anything with others until you find a kind, respectful way to communicate it. If the offending party is someone other than yourself, then get into the practice of pausing and postponing discussions that start moving into negative or disrespectful territory – in a polite but assertive fashion. For example, you might say something like: “This conversation appears to be getting a little negative, disrespectful, and unproductive in nature. Let’s take a break and continue this discussion at another time, okay?” If you do this consistently when communications enter negative or disrespectful territory, the parties you are communicating with will eventually get the message you are not going to allow them to treat you in a disrespectful manner. And that’s a great way to establish a strong foundation for mutual R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
So, mutual R-E-S-P-E-C-T – between you and others – is the absolute key for all kinds of relationships and for being able to relate well to others. The above provided an example regarding communications. However, this also applies to actions, behaviors, intentions, and nonverbal communications. So, if anything you are doing reflects negativity or disrespect towards others, then pause and make adjustments. Likewise, if anything others are doing reflects negativity or disrespect towards you, then politely – but assertively – call them out on it, and let them know you don’t appreciate it and are not going to stand for it. If you do this consistently, the offending parties will eventually get the message you are not going to allow them to treat you in a disrespectful manner. And that’s a great way to establish a strong foundation for mutual R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
So, the bottom line is always wait until you find a kind, respectful way to communicate something to others, and get into the regular practice of pausing and postponing discussions that move into negative or disrespectful territory. If you do this, you will develop and maintain strong, rewarding relationships with people you truly value, and create a warm and wonderful life for you and those you love and appreciate. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help-oriented books and posts:
PUBLISHED BOOKS: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
CREATING GREATER HAPPINESS-ORIENTED POSTS: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/category/personal-improvement-development-and-growth-related-posts/
CREATING A BRIGHTER FINANCIAL FUTURE-ORIENTED POSTS: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/category/financial-planning-management-and-investing-related-posts/
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