Happiness and Self-Help Related Posts
How to live a happy, peaceful, and fulfilling life. How to create a sense of joy, inspiration, enjoyment, wonder, excitement, peace, and passion in life.
HAPPINESS TIP: FOCUS ON HOW YOU MOST WANT TO FEEL AND GIVE THAT TO OTHERS
One simple happiness tip involves asking yourself how you most want to feel and then freely offering that to others. So, if you want more love and kindness in your life, then give more love and kindness. You will be amazed at how much love and kindness comes back to you when you do this. So, make this a regular practice in your life.
Most people spend so much of their time focusing on how they feel instead of how they might most want to feel. Doing this is a sure recipe for ensuring you continue having negative feelings and getting what you DO NOT want in your life. Don’t do this to yourself!
What a fantastic life we (and others) could all share if we each lived in this fashion. So, always remember first to shift your focus on how you most want to feel and then freely offer that to others. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel and at the wonderful world you will create. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can!
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships
Be the Most Gracious of Guests While Here on This Planet
People frequently ask me questions like why I am so happy, why I’m vegan, and why I pick up recyclables when they see me walking or running. Well, much of it has to do with the way I look at life and my philosophy on life as a whole. The following story I wrote a few years ago presents much of how I see things and why I do what I do and feel the way I feel. The edited version of this story was presented in my first self-help book, LIVING BLISS to more gently introduce this philosophy. The complete, unedited version is provided in my second self-help book, LOVING YOUR LIFE, for readers interested in achieving a fuller, deeper, and more complete understanding. I encourage you to read the below story, reflect upon it, and ask yourself what positive changes you might like to make in your life as a result.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
THE UNWELCOME GUEST
Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a house guest for a few days while you were away. Several weeks later he’s still in your home and has pretty much taken over your entire place. He invites loud, boisterous friends over to play cards and to drink beer and you find yourself spending more and more time away from your home, because you feel threatened by him and his friends who act hostile towards you for not being the way that they are. Even on quieter nights, when only you and he are at home, and you want to sit in the living room to watch television he’s always there ~ sprawled out on the couch watching something that you have no interest in.
You go to the refrigerator to get a glass of water from your fresh jug of spring water, but the container is empty. While you are there you decide you’re hungry and think you might enjoy some of that delicious vegetable casserole you prepared the day before, but find that the container has been half eaten and carelessly tossed onto one of the counter tops. Your home ~ which used to be tidy and neat ~ now has dirty clothes and trash strewn all about and dirty counters and dishes everywhere. The floors and carpets are saturated with dirt, mud, beer, and food. All of this mess, because your guest does not clean up after himself. Sometimes, he doesn’t even flush the toilet after using the bathroom and he leaves soiled pots and pans on the counters and in the sink. All in all, your home has become a dirty, stinking, filthy mess. How does this make you feel towards your house guest?
Now consider another kind of house guest. Imagine that you loaned the use of your home to a different person for a few days while you were away. When you return you find your home has been thoroughly cleaned, polished, and beautified to the extent that it is in far better condition than when you first left. In addition, you receive a card and gift thanking you for the use of your home. You find yourself looking forward to going home and wanting to spend more time in your home, because of how much more wonderful it has become. How wonderful would you feel and how likely would you be to help and do nice things for this person in the future? Most likely, you would want to become more a part of the person’s life, desire to do more to contribute to his or her life, and make the individual feel warmly welcome to come back and visit in the future.
Well, the spiritual world operates in very much the same fashion whether your belief system involves God, the universe, or some other higher power or spiritual representation. The more you express genuine appreciation the more love, peace, and happiness you will experience and have to be appreciative of ~ the spiritual world continually rewarding your appreciation with more to be appreciative of and showering with love, peace, and happiness the lives of those “house guests” here on this planet who are kind, mindful, considerate, and appreciative of the hospitality extended to them by the most gracious of givers. Those who generously offer kind and mindful contributions to the world for the benefit of all of our creator’s creations ~ making the earth a better and more pleasant place for all who share our planet.
Fortunately, for us ~ with respect to the unwelcome guest scenario presented towards the beginning of this section above ~ we can resolve situations such as this long before they get too out of hand and without too much effort. We have a police force that can serve and protect us, negotiate threatening situations, and keep offenders from returning. If only nature and less fortunate persons had others looking out for them in similar ways. Such hardship is unnecessarily created just so people can live more comfortably and conveniently. However, many of us are not mindful of this and do not carry this awareness.
Through kindness, lovingness, and mindfulness we can create a wonderful, new world:
~ A world in which we realize we are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and deserves to be free from fear, pain, suffering, and death.
~ A world in which we LOVE-AND-CHERISH-AND-OPEN-OUR-HEARTS towards other living and breathing beings as we do towards ourselves.
We can become more mindful. We can become more respectful. We can become more considerate and make kinder choices. We can love, and appreciate, and cherish all of life and generously share our world with other living and breathing beings. We can purge our homes of that unwelcome guest and assist all of our fellow, innocent, living and breathing beings in doing the same by becoming the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests in loving appreciation for the wonderful lives and the hospitality we have all been graciously granted. We can achieve this by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions.
The earth has historically been a holocaust of animal farming and production, animal exploitation, and animal science and testing ~ hardships unnecessarily created for nature just so people can: live more comfortably and conveniently, build and expand, reap profits and rewards, advertise products and services, and be entertained. Other living and breathing beings are continuously exploited and forced to suffer their entire lives to support the interests of the advertisement and entertainment industries, the research community, and the food, clothing, and dairy production industries. However, we can create a better world today for all who share our planet. We are all a part of that life which lives and breathes and we can love and care for other living and breathing beings as we do for ourselves.
So, the above story summarizes my philosophy on life. I believe life is such a wonderful gift and we are all guests here on this planet. Guests of God’s (or our higher power’s) hospitality. This is one reason why I am ever so thankful and grateful for the life I have and the life I get to share with other living and breathing beings who share our planet. Thus, I make an effort each and every day to express my appreciation and gratitude. One of the primary ways I do this is by living more mindfully and by making kind and mindful contributions. Whenever we live our lives in this fashion we create peace and happiness within our own lives, within the lives of others, and within the world which surrounds us.
In my own life I choose to live mindfully in a variety of ways to include: minimizing waste, living in moderation, relishing all of life (humans and nonhumans alike), and making a positive imprint to make the world of today and the world of tomorrow a better place. I see one of my primary purposes in life as one of offering and promoting happiness, appreciation, and well-being for the benefit of all living and breathing beings including:
~ loving, respecting, appreciating, and living in harmony with the earth and all who share her,
~ extending love, warmth, and kindness to others, and
~ living kindly and mindfully so as not to cause pain, suffering, or harm.
Everything that surrounds us has been loaned to us by the most gracious of givers: God, the universe, and/or our higher power. As such, there is nothing in this world that we truly own. Even our lives have been loaned to us. So let’s make the most of our lives and strive to become the most gracious, the most reverent, and the most considerate of guests while living here on this planet.
I have the strongest desire to be that gracious, kind, and mindful guest. As such, each and every day I strive to live ever more mindfully and to contribute to the world which surrounds me. I encourage you to do the same. What a wonderful world we could all share if each and every one of us contributed in these regards.
HOW TO DEFEAT ANY DISTRESS WITHOUT DOPE, DRINKS, DRUGS, DEBT, OR DOCTORS
One of the key contributors to negativity and unhappiness in life has nothing to do with needing money, drugs, drinks, or doctors and everything to do with how you live your life. Anytime you experience these kinds of negative thoughts and feelings, take a step back and objectively consider what external factors might be contributing to these. Next, work towards addressing each of the external factors until you have addressed them all.
Frequently, many of the negativities experienced in life are created and amplified by the effects of external factors which accumulate from day to day, week to week, and month to month. Some of the more common external factors which contribute to negativity and unhappiness in life include the following:
- Stress. Consider whether or not you have been experiencing a significant amount of stress. If you have, actively take actions to relieve and manage this stress. Stress produces adrenaline, cortisol, and several other biochemicals in the bloodstream which can lead to depression, anxiety, and other forms of negativity and unhappiness to include more stress.
- Insufficient Sleep. Consider whether or not you’ve been getting enough restful sleep on a regular basis or whether your sleeping patterns have been irregular, erratic, or restless in nature. As indicated above, anytime you experience stress and negativity in life, the body reacts by producing cortisol (and other biochemicals as indicated under “stress” item above). One of the only times the body does not produce these is when we are getting restful sleep. Thus, the more restful sleep we get, the more relaxation time we get away from stress and negativity. So, take actions to ensure you get the restful sleep you need by tiring the body out, calming the mind, and going to bed at a regular time on a daily basis. If you choose to drink alcohol, make sure you drink in moderation and that you finish your final drink a couple of hours prior to bedtime. It’s also a good idea to disengage from any mind stimulating activities about an hour or so before going to bed such as television, movies, computer games, and the internet/social media. Reading is a healthy activity which can be performed instead which tends to have a calming effect on the mind. The guide I generally give to people for getting peaceful, restful sleep is the following: (1) Perform physical exercise a few hours prior to bedtime to tire the body out. (2) Massage the legs and body extensively by rolling around on a foam roller. (3) Relax in a warm bubble bath while playing some relaxing music in the background. (4) Lie in bed listening to a guided meditation to focus the mind on calm, pleasant, warming thoughts prior to falling asleep. (5) Just prior to falling asleep focus on one positive thought (and upon waking start your day with this same positive thought).
- Irregular Physical Exercise. Consider whether or not you have been regularly getting physical exercise. Physical exercise and sleep go hand in hand. Physical exercise elevates the mood through the release of endorphins to the bloodstream, relieves stress, and tires the body so we get better sleep. As such, we address several contributing factors to stress, depression, anxiety, and other negative feelings just by performing exercise alone.
- Insufficient Nutrition or Health Problems. Consider whether or not you have been eating adequately and regularly or are experiencing health problems. Whenever we do not get the nutrients we need or are experiencing health problems, these can contribute towards any negative feelings we might experience in life. For example, sometimes I experience anxiety, sleeplessness, or sluggishness when the pollen count is high and my allergies are triggered. All of which can be addressed by simply taking my allergy medications.
- Dehydration. Consider whether or not you have been drinking enough healthy fluids (e.g., water) to remain hydrated throughout your days and nights. The bare minimum should be eight 8 oz glasses a day but the actual amount needed is individual and situation dependent. For example, the Institute of Medicine (IOM) currently recommends that men drink at least 104 ounces of water per day which is thirteen 8 oz glasses. If you are exposed to hot temperatures or are performing physically exerting work or other physical activities such as exercise, then additional healthy fluids are needed to remain sufficiently hydrated. Anytime we experience dehydration, this can contribute to fatigue, sluggishness, sleepiness, and any negative feelings we might experience.
- Uncomfortable temperatures. Consider whether or not it is too hot or cold and take actions to make adjustments accordingly. Often uncomfortable temperatures and humidity can contribute towards any negative feelings we might experience.
When external factors, such as the above, begin to accumulate from one day to the next, we will experience the amplified effects of these and, as a result, feel increasingly negative, stressed out, uneasy, and unhappy. And the EXTERNAL FACTORS CREATING STRESS AND NEGATIVITY CYCLE will continue until we actively take steps to address these external factors and live a healthier lifestyle.
Most people would be amazed at how wonderful they would feel just by addressing the above external factors. Once they do, they often find the negative feelings they’ve struggled with in their lives, such as stress, anxiety, and depression, disappear completely or become much smaller and more manageable.
No. You don’t need dope, drinks, drugs, debt, or doctors for much of the stress, negativity, and unhappiness experienced in life. You just need to address a few, basic external factors and live a healthier life by breaking the EXTERNAL FACTORS CREATING STRESS AND NEGATIVITY CYCLE.
Now, there have been several occasions in my life where I experienced periods of stress, depression, anxiety, and other negative feelings and, upon further reflection, came to the realization I was not eating as well, not sleeping as well, or not exercising as well as I usually would. Upon coming to this realization, my negative feelings would immediately begin to lift due to the identification of a probable cause. I would then actively take actions to address the external contributing factors observed. Actions which often resulted in my negative feelings disappearing completely within hours or days. I encourage you try similar kinds of activities whenever you experience negative feelings and unhappiness in your life.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships
HAPPINESS TIP: WORK TOWARDS SOLVING ACTUAL PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF PERCEIVED ONES
One thing I frequently tell people for improving the future and living a happier life involves working towards solving actual, instead of perceived, problems. People I coach often seek to make positive changes in their lives and have specific perceived “issues” they want to initially focus on. But, the first question I generally ponder is whether the proposed change will offer the most optimal change for the person overall. The change that will create the greatest happiness, inspiration, fulfillment, and/or success for the individual.
Often, people feel they have specific issues which must be resolved before they will ever be able to live happier. However, the first question I frequently ask in such situations is: “Why do you think this is such a significant issue, how does this create unhappiness, discontent, and negativity in your life, and in what ways does it hinder you?” If the problem is truly significant, the person should be able to articulate concrete responses to this. Otherwise, it is likely to be more of a perceived problem than an actual one.
Another thing I like to do in this regard is ask the person what he or she thinks life would be like if the problem did not exist or how things might be different and allow this vision to guide his or her actions towards improvement. The point of these kinds of inquiries is determining whether the perceived problem is an actual (and significant) one before putting forth the time and energy towards resolving it.
You might be surprised at how much time and energy people put towards solving problems that were never true problems to begin with. They were merely perceived issues they told themselves they had even though these did not concretely create unhappiness, discontent, or negativity in their lives other than in the thoughts surrounding their perceived need to resolve them.
Sometimes, the perceived problems we have are not problems at all other than our acceptance that these are part of who we are. And if there is little or no evidence of these concretely creating unhappiness, discontent, and negativity in our lives, then we would benefit from seeking a more optimal positive change for ourselves so we can better realize greater happiness, inspiration, fulfillment, and success in life.
The point of all this is making sure you perform a thorough investigation before attempting to solve problems which may not truly be problems at all. You will save yourself a lot of time, energy, stress, unhappiness, and frustration if you do.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
HAPPINESS TIP: REMEMBER THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTIONS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY (PART THREE: LIFE QUESTION #3)
In my previous two posts, I identified the most important life question as: “WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?” And the second most important life question as: “HOW CAN I ACHIEVE THAT LIFE EXPERIENCE?”
Well, what do you suppose the third most important life question is?
Drum roll…
Well the third most important life question is “HOW CAN I LIVE INCREASINGLY HAPPIER?” That is, what can you do to live happier on a day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year basis. This includes everything from performing an inventory of your life and moving towards the more positive aspects and distancing yourself from the negative aspects, to gaining a greater appreciation of what you have, who you are, and who you have in your life, to countless other ways of living a happier life. Most of what I write about focuses on how to live happier. Much of which is located here: http://www.brighterdayslifecoaching.com/category/personal-improvement-development-and-growth-related-posts/
So, there you have it. The three most important life questions:
1. WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?
2. HOW CAN I ACHIEVE THAT LIFE EXPERIENCE?
3. HOW CAN I LIVE INCREASINGLY HAPPIER?
Answer these three questions and live your life accordingly and you will discover how wonderful it feels to live an authentic life filled with wonder, joy, excitement, and fulfillment.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships
HAPPINESS TIP: REMEMBER THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTIONS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY (PART TWO: LIFE QUESTION #2)
In my previous post, I identified the most important life question as: “WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?”
Well, what do you suppose the second most important life question is?
Drum roll…
Well the second most important life question is “WHAT CAN I DO TO ACHIEVE THAT LIFE EXPERIENCE?” That is, once you know what you want your life experience to consist of, the next most important thing is getting there.
For example, if your desired life experience includes being the best medical doctor the state of Florida has ever known, then going to an Art college is probably not going to get you where you want to be. Likewise, if meeting the person of your dreams and having a family is a part of your desired life experience, then sitting at home every night or avoiding the dating scene will probably not get you what you want anytime soon. So, once you identify what you want your life experience to consist of, you must position yourself accordingly.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
In Part Three, I will present the third most important life question. Can anyone guess what it might be?
HAPPINESS TIP: REMEMBER THE THREE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE QUESTIONS AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY (PART ONE: LIFE QUESTION #1)
One key to happiness is remembering the three most important life questions and living your life accordingly. What do you suppose the most important life question is?
Drum roll…
Well the most important life question is “WHAT DO I WANT MY LIFE EXPERIENCE TO BE?” Independent of what others think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. This is YOUR life experience and no one else’s! And it can be whatever you want it to be! So, always remember this and live your life accordingly.
Life experience includes everything from the macro, to the micro, to the temporary, to the more persistent or more permanent. It can include that which you just want to explore or try out, that which you want to experience or experiment with, that which lasts days or weeks, and that which lasts months, years, decades, or even lifelong. There is no limit. It can be a wide variety of things or just a select few. And it can change. So, it can be whatever you want it to be at the time as well as all the time.
One of the key contributors to unhappiness in life is living other people’s lives. To be truly happy, you must live an AUTHENTIC life – your own life – and nobody else’s. So, always remember that.
This also means other people need to be free to live their life experiences – whatever they want them to be – independent of what YOU think, believe, express, or attempt to convince otherwise. It’s okay to offer advice, but just remember that ultimately it is THEIR life experience and not yours.
Now, one caveat to the above is that it must be a healthy life experience (overall) such that the life experience you choose does not physically harm yourself or others. Otherwise, the playing field is wide open.
What an exciting, wonderful, happy life you (and others) will share when you live in the above fashion. So, always remember: Your life experience can be anything you want it to be. Start today. Your future is filled with nothing but endless possibility. The reels are empty. This is your movie. Create it!
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
In Part Two, I will reveal the second most important life question. Can anyone guess what it might be?
HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU
HAPPINESS TIP: SLOW DOWN AND MARVEL AT THAT WHICH SURROUNDS YOU
Many people spend so much of their time focused on getting there that they fail to appreciate the moment and their surroundings. Don’t do this to yourself. Mindfully slow things down a bit, every once in a while, and marvel at the world which surrounds you. You can do this while walking, driving, riding, or even sitting.
What I like to do is imagine my surroundings have been painted through the sentimental eyes of appreciation of an artist. How many paintings have you seen which were so cozy, so warming, so inspirational, and so inviting that you just wanted to be there? Well, imagine your surroundings were painted by such an artist and slow down a bit and smile and bask in the joy of it.
Anytime you do this, you will be able to transform even otherwise dull surroundings into something precious, wondrous, magnificent, and deeply moving; filling yourself with the warmth, joy, wonder, inspiration, and exhilaration of complete appreciation. And what might have been even boring, ordinary days will become extraordinary and you will feel happy, lively, and cheerful for much of the time. So, do this for yourself if you can.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness
Happiness Tip: Live with a Sense of Balance
Many people consume so much of their lives doing for others that they have little time or energy for doing (or even discovering) what they want for themselves. Don’t do this to yourself. Live with a sense of balance so that you do for (and give to) yourself all along the way. Both in the micro sense and in the macro sense.
In the micro, day-to-day and week-to-week, sense, you might incorporate more of what you want in life on a regular basis such as health and fitness activities, things you enjoy, creative expression, exploration and adventure, social activities, solitude, and learning activities.
In the macro, longer term sense, you might work towards that which you would like to achieve or accomplish such as earning advanced degrees, writing books, establishing a business, transitioning into a rewarding new career, traveling, and any dreams or desires you might have.
If you live with a sense of balance, you will retain sight of and make that which you want in life a priority all along the way. You will live a rewarding, fulfilling life and accomplish so much more than you ever dreamed possible.
Many people wait until they reach retirement age to start working towards what they truly want in their lives. An age where they have less stamina and mental and physical abilities. So retirement, if it ever happens, can become a mad, stressful, tiring rush of “catch up” activities they’ve never taken the time to do in their lives.
On 30 September, I retired from 29 years of federal service (4 years for the Marine Corps and 25 years for the Army). I was thankful that I retired after having already lived a full life of travel, writing and publishing, establishing a new rewarding career, and accomplishing pretty much everything I truly desired in life. Thus, my retirement years will be this wonderful, peaceful ease of taking things at a leisurely pace and doing that which inspires and motivates and makes me happy in its own time. And I would want it no other way.
So, I encourage you to live with a sense of balance all along the way by making yourself a priority in your life. It’s okay to have temporary imbalance, from time to time, when you are working towards something you really want for yourself such as an education or success in your work, but always define where the exit is so that you can get back to living a balanced life. If you do this, you will feel happy, fulfilled, accomplished, and at peace for much of your life. So do this for yourself if you can.
This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/
#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness