Happiness and Self-Help Related Posts

How to live a happy, peaceful, and fulfilling life. How to create a sense of joy, inspiration, enjoyment, wonder, excitement, peace, and passion in life.

BE A SOURCE OF PEACE, PATIENCE, AND POSITIVITY TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing which can be helpful when those you love and appreciate are burdened by something or experiencing extreme negative thoughts and feelings is being a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for the troubled person (and others in your life). Anytime others perceive us as a consistent source of these kinds of positive qualities, they will spend more time with us and communicate with us more – both in good times and bad.

If you truly desire to serve as this constant source of peace, patience, and positivity to others, then focus on this desired vision for yourself and ask yourself what actions you can take today, tomorrow, next week, and next month to progress towards this and then start taking these actions. In addition, review and reflect on your progress by asking yourself, throughout your days, if your behaviors, actions, and communications have been consistent with your vision and make adjustments accordingly to ensure you converge towards it – saying “yes” to anything which moves you closer to your vision of peace, patience, and positivity and “no” to anything which does not. If you do these things, you will begin to embody the positive qualities you are envisioning for yourself.

I used this very technique to help a young woman I coached recently named Anne. Anne was worried because her girlfriend was becoming distant – not spending as much time or communicating with her as much as she had in the past. After talking with Anne further, it came to light that her girlfriend was getting overwhelmed by the health problems her mother was experiencing and the need for constant support. And things kept getting worse.

Up to that point in time, Anne would freely share her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend. It’s just something they had always done. I pointed out to Anne that her girlfriend – in going through the challenges with her mother – was living a life far out of balance and the imbalance and happenings in her life were creating a substantial amount stress, negativity, and chaos. As such, burdening her girlfriend further by communicating her own problems, issues, and concerns would make her girlfriend feel even more overwhelmed and intensify her negative feelings of stress, irritability, sadness, anxiety, and chaos – all of which might create additional withdrawal and isolation (in the best case) or a quick, desperate reaction (in the worst case).

So, I strongly encouraged Anne to refrain from sharing her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend during this period of time and instead sharing them with others in her life if she felt the need – others who were not going through such intense challenges in their lives. I also challenged Anne to focus primarily on becoming a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for her girlfriend because of the increased likelihood they might spend more time together and communicate more with each other if her girlfriend associated Anne with these kinds of positive qualities – positive qualities which offered: (1) a safe haven away from all of the chaos and imbalance she was experiencing, and (2) a way of gaining back some of that balance and recharging and rejuvenating herself in the process.

Well, Anne did exactly that – actively taking steps to become a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity to her girlfriend – saying “yes” to anything that moved her closer to this vision and “no” to anything which did not. And sure enough, her girlfriend started coming around much more often and they were able to recover from what might have otherwise resulted in a tragic event.

So, always keep this in mind when dealing with people in your life who are experiencing significant challenges. They might need a break from everything they are going through – and if you can offer this to them, this might be the very thing which allows them to successfully navigate and overcome the highly stressful challenges and events in their lives.   

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

The most important question to ask yourself, in relationship situations (romantic or otherwise such as friends, family members, and acquaintances), is whether you desire to create closeness or distance. Once you decide which way you want to go, you must ensure your actions are consistent with that decision. Otherwise, you can create the opposite effect.

So many people desire to create closeness in their relationships but create distance instead because they focus on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing and reciprocate an amplified version of this. And the reciprocation and amplification process can continue back and forth between the parties until there is nothing left but distance.

There are cases, however, where people desire to create distance in relationships when they involve people who are detrimental towards them. In these situations, I always recommend that they focus intently on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing (and perhaps even exaggerate this) to give them the strength and resolve for creating the distance they need. Otherwise, they might not be able to do this. Especially, if they listen to their hearts instead.

So, keep these things in mind for your relationships. They can make all the difference in how things play out.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

THE HUGE HIDDEN WAY TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY YES TO ANYONE WITHOUT DOING THIS FIRST!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Sometimes, in our lives, we might say “yes” to those we are close to even when doing so might make us unhappy. Often, people do this out of their desire to be supportive and create additional closeness with others. However, what they fail to realize is that whenever they sacrifice their own happiness, needs, and desires in support of others, they will frequently create negative thoughts and feelings towards those they are seeking to please (as well as themselves). Thus, instead of the closeness they anticipated creating, they often end up creating distance instead.

For example, imagine you finally got a day to yourself and decided to spend the day being creative and doing some paintings you’ve been wanting to work on for some time now. Your romantic partner – upon realizing that you had the day off – asks you to perform a few errands and to get together for lunch. You don’t really want to do any of this because it interferes with your own plans but you agree to it because you think it would be kinder and less selfish of you to do so. So, you end up spending a few hours doing this and even though it only took a few hours, it might create negative thoughts and feelings towards your partner (and yourself) in the hours and days and weeks which follow – something which can create distance in your relationship instead of the closeness you had anticipated creating by being so supportive. This can happen anytime that you place the happiness and desires of others before your own. Especially, for things which truly matter to you.

Another example of this involves making plans. Recently, I coached a woman who had communicated that her boyfriend planned events for them to attend which she did not enjoy very much. She would go because he was her boyfriend but she would experience a large amount of stress, negativity, and anxiety leading up to the events, awkwardness at the events themselves when trying to “fit in” and being careful not to do anything socially awkward, and after the events when repeatedly criticizing herself for any faults or imperfections and telling herself she should have done better. So, she would experience a huge amount of stress, anxiety, and negativity leading up to the events, during the events themselves, and after the events. Stress, anxiety, and negativity which consumed her and made her less available and attentive towards herself and her partner.

The problem with situations such as the above is frequently people plan events and activities based on what they value. And values tend to vary widely between one person and the next. For example, her partner was very extroverted in nature and enjoyed large gatherings and events. She was the opposite. So, I encouraged her to have honest discussions with her partner about her values and preferences so that he could become more mindful of these and make plans accordingly. I also encouraged her to get in the practice of saying “no” to things which make her unhappy – because doing what you truly do not want to do can affect your relationships in huge and lasting ways.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, authentic life – your own and nobody else’s. And you will take actions and support events and activities which are ALWAYS right for you and others in your life. What a wonderful life you will create and share if you live in this fashion. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can. Oh, and also be sure to read this related article about why you should never take the advice of anyone (including me!)!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS CHALLENGE: BE AND SEE THE LIGHT AND WARMTH

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a worthwhile happiness challenge for you: See how many times you can be the light and warmth to others and see the light and warmth within others. We provide such joy and peace to those who come in contact with us when we are happy, calm, and peaceful ourselves – even when no words are spoken. So, strive to be that beaming light of love, warmth, happiness, peace, and inspiration each and every day.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

ALLOW OTHERS TO HAVE THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCE AND LIVE AND LEARN FREELY

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There have been times in my life where, with respect to the dating or relationship situations of others, I thought something like: “How silly (or even stupid) of him/her to put up with that other person’s crapola! He/she is getting treated like dirt!” Only to find weeks or even months later that the relationship not only survived but thrived and the couple became happier than they had ever been. How can that be? Well, you never know how things might change. You have to remember the dynamics between people. Initial interest can evolve and grow into warmth (and even love) and sometimes people change because they want to change and because they want to be better. It doesn’t always happen. But sometimes it does.

So, those I might have initially perceived as silly (or even stupid) in those situations turned out to be the smart ones. Those who loved, were patient, and put up with all of the initial crapola because they saw something I could not see. Something that made it worth the initial pains and frustrations to get to. And, in those situations, I found my initial distaste transformed into admiration. Because they did not give up. They worked (and sometimes even struggled) but made it happen.

So, do not judge others. Feel free to offer advice or assistance from time to time, as a friend or family member, but allow them to live and learn freely. It is their life experience. Not yours.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness $relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: ALWAYS APPRECIATE HOW BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL YOU ARE

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Always know and appreciate how beautiful and wonderful you are. Sometimes in life you might come across those who do not appear to love, respect, and appreciate you but whenever that happens you must love, respect, and appreciate yourself enough to invest your time and energy towards others who do.

Keep your eyes and your heart open, for those who may not have loved, respected, and appreciated you in the past, may heal over time, and then passionately and resolutely return to you once they again realize what a beautiful, wonderful soul you are. Until that happens invest your time and energy towards those who already know that.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

An Amazing Thought Guaranteed to Improve Perspective

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Love and appreciate your life. You are SPECIAL. Think about everything that had to happen PERFECTLY just so that you could be here today living and breathing. Each and every person in your genetic chain meeting, loving, surviving, and conceiving each and every person in that chain for thousands of years! Any ONE trivial change in those thousands of years and you would not be here today. Think about that and how wonderful it is to be experiencing the life you are experiencing now! If that doesn’t fill you with wonder and amazement and appreciation, then you really need a perspective boost! And if you need help with that you know who to ask!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY BY GIVING EVERYTHING THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES (AND NOTHING MORE)!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

You can lead a rich and rewarding life by making yourself a priority and focusing on that which truly matters and disregarding the rest. So, DO NOT spend another moment doing meaningless things whether it’s a senseless task at work, something you’ve been invited to that you have no interest in, or somebody else’s drama or gossip which you could care less about. A great, stress-free way to handle anything you encounter in life is to simply GIVE IT THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES (AND NOTHING MORE)!

For example, if my boss gives me a pointless task I might respond, “Yes, boss. I’ll get right on that.” But if, in my opinion, it is truly a senseless task I might spend 10 minutes on it. If someone starts saying horrible things about someone else I might nod and say, “Well, it was nice seeing you,” and then be on my way. If someone else asks me to help out with something that I have no interest in I might say something like,  “I’m sorry but I’m going to be busy then,” and free up that time for something else which might be more rewarding or inspirational in nature.

You can lead a happy, peaceful, stress-free life by simply making yourself a priority and giving things the attention they deserve all along the way. You don’t have to be involved with everything that comes your way or goes on around you and you certainly don’t have to do everything to the highest standard. Especially that which seems pointless, is not well thought out, or doesn’t matter much. So many people spend so much of their lives inflating small things into big things without realizing they DO NOT have to participate. Simply step back, give it some thought, and give it the attention it deserves. Each and every time.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, stress-free life. And you will have time, energy, and resources available to put towards that which truly matters to you instead of consuming your life with that which does not. What a wonderful life you will create for yourself (and others) if you live in this fashion.

Well, there you have it. Now, you know one of my life secrets. So, if at any time, I look at you and smile and you’re wondering why I’m not rushing out to buy that latest thing you told me about which will “change my life forever” or not following your “fantastic” advice, well, I might just be thinking: “Yeah. Thanks for that great advice. I’m giving it the attention it deserves.”

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

HAPPINESS TIP: FOCUS ON HOW YOU MOST WANT TO FEEL AND GIVE THAT TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One simple happiness tip involves asking yourself how you most want to feel and then freely offering that to others. So, if you want more love and kindness in your life, then give more love and kindness. You will be amazed at how much love and kindness comes back to you when you do this. So, make this a regular practice in your life.

Most people spend so much of their time focusing on how they feel instead of how they might most want to feel. Doing this is a sure recipe for ensuring you continue having negative feelings and getting what you DO NOT want in your life. Don’t do this to yourself!

What a fantastic life we (and others) could all share if we each lived in this fashion. So, always remember first to shift your focus on how you most want to feel and then freely offer that to others. You will be amazed at how wonderful you will feel and at the wonderful world you will create. So, do this for yourself  (and others) if you can!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships