The

.

g

i

f

t

.

presented

.

a

.

f

a

r

.

greater

reward

.

t

h

a

n

.

I

.

imagined

before . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

in

.

m

y

.

mind,

.

.

I

.

.

can

still

.

s

e

e

.

that

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

heart

.

overflowing

.

w

i

t

h

.

warming,

–

–

joyful

pride . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

lifelong

.

d

r

e

a

m

.

suddenly

realized,

.

.

l

o

n

g

.

.

before

.

t

h

e

.

age,

.

.

w

h

e

n

.

.

youth

begins

.

t

o

.

die . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ long

before

.

t

h

e

.

age,

.

.

w

h

e

n

.

.

youth

begins

.

t

o

.

die . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

.

.

.

I

hope

.

h

e

.

will

take

.

a

.

moment

.

o

f

.

his

time,

.

.

t

o

.

.

push

.

h

i

s

.

worries

aside . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ to

bathe

.

i

n

.

the

luster,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

the

shine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

.

I

know

.

i

t

.

may

never

.

g

e

t

.

better . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ no,

it

.

m

a

y

.

never

.

g

e

t

.

better . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

h

a

n

–

–

–

in

.

t

h

e

.

place

where

.

h

e

.

stands

today . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

skies

.

never

brighter . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

oceans

.

never

warmer . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

mood

.

never

higher . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

the

peace

.

never

lighter . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

know

.

i

t

.

might

n-e-v-e-r

.

feel

.

a

s

.

great

as

.

i

t

.

does

today,

.

.

s

o

.

.

I

pray

.

h

e

.

makes

.

t

h

e

.

most

.

o

f

.

it,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

waltzes

.

w

i

t

h

.

grace . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

before

.

t

h

e

.

color

.

a

n

d

.

the

charm

.

begin

.

t

o

.

fade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

know

.

I

.

s

u

r

e

.

will . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

know

.

t

h

a

t

.

I

.

s

u

r

e

.

will . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

the

.

g

i

f

t

.

presented

.

a

.

f

a

r

.

greater

reward

.

t

h

a

n

.

I

.

imagined

before.

Reflection: This was an inspirational/hope-themed poem that I wrote back in August of 2001 in reflection of a nice thing I did for someone to help him achieve his lifelong dream of owning his first home. It was such a wonderful experience for both of us and I am so happy to have been a part of that. It was the second of several things I did for this person over the years who has been like family to me for the past 27 years. And his life has thrived as a result of these contributions as well as his own dedicated efforts, and I could not be happier. One of the most rewarding things for me in life is believing in someone and helping him or her, and then for that person to start thriving on his/her own. I just LOVE it when that happens!

You

know

.

y

o

u

.

are

running

.

o

u

t

.

of

.

t

i

m

e

.

when,

.

.

what

.

y

o

u

.

do,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

what

.

y

o

u

.

say,

–

–

resembles

.

t

h

e

.

gray,

–

–

hollow

shape

.

o

f

.

good-bye . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

gray,

–

–

hollow

shape

.

o

f

.

good-bye . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

thought

.

I

.

might

cry . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ you

thought

.

I

.

might . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

true

poet’s

.

savor

the

–

–

–

.

.

.

d

i

v

e

–

–

–

 ~ the

somber

reprise

.

o

f

.

twilight

.

t

i

d

e

s

.

gone

by . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

apologize

.

t

h

a

t

.

I

.

a

m

.

not

.

t

h

e

.

ordinary

guy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

.

I

.

l

o

o

k

.

forward

.

t

o

.

dismal

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

emotional

suicide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

to

truly

appreciate

.

t

h

e

.

joys

.

i

n

.

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

one

.

m

u

s

t

.

experience

.

n

o

t

.

only

.

t

h

e

.

highs . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

also

.

t

h

e

.

lows

.

a

n

d

.

declines . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

sometimes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

for

days . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

for

weeks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

for

months . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

t

.

.

.

a

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You’re

leaving,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

I

can

.

s

t

i

l

l

.

pretend . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You’re

leaving,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in

again . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in

again . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

I

.

spin

.

i

n

t

o

.

chagrin . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

t

h

e

.

end . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

hold

.

i

t

.

in

again . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

know

.

y

o

u

.

are

running

.

o

u

t

.

of

.

t

i

m

e

.

when,

.

.

what

.

y

o

u

.

do,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

what

.

y

o

u

.

say,

–

–

resembles

.

t

h

e

.

gray,

–

–

hollow

shape

.

o

f

.

good-bye . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

gray,

–

–

hollow

shape

.

o

f

.

good-bye.

Reflection: This was a melancholy-themed poem that I wrote back in July of 2001 where the contemplator tends to confront and ride the highs, and lows, and declines of life. We get the feeling he or she will never find true happiness living in that fashion – for those who surround the affected party are likely to disappear and distance themselves over time.

You

.

w

e

r

e

.

just

.

a

.

common,

.

ordinary

guy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ just

.

a

.

common,

.

ordinary

guy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

y

o

u

.

removed

.

t

h

e

.

shirt

.

t

h

a

t

.

disguised

.

t

h

e

.

rigid

.

a

n

d

.

tight . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

rigid

.

a

n

d

.

tight . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

which

.

w

o

u

l

d

.

ignite

.

a

n

d

.

amplify . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

amplify

.

a

n

d

.

ignite . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

h

e

–

–

–

want

within

.

m

y

.

eyes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Haunting

reflections

.

a

n

d

.

recollections

fill

.

m

y

.

mind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

fill

.

m

y

.

mind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

fill

.

m

y

.

mind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

fill

.

m

y

.

mind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

l

l

–

–

–

through

.

t

h

e

.

nights . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ all

through

.

t

h

e

.

nights . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

I

.

realize,

.

.

y

o

u

.

.

were

never

.

a

common,

.

ordinary

guy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

the

.

g

u

y

.

meant

.

t

o

.

satisfy

.

e

v

e

r

y

.

yearning

within

.

t

h

e

.

waters

.

o

f

.

forbidden

desire . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ within

.

t

h

e

.

waters

.

o

f

.

forbidden

desire . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

I

submerge . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

submerge . . .

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

I

submerge . . .

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

I

submerge . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

I

submerge . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

I

submerge . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

beneath

.

t

h

e

.

taunting,

.

teasing,

.

warming

tides

.

o

f

.

moral

compromise.

Reflection: This was a romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in June of 2001 in reflection of an exciting, passionate, wondrous experience I had with a (supposedly) straight man many years ago. It was yet another brief but passionate, wonderful experience that I would never trade.

Michael

.

a

l

w

a

y

s

.

tried,

–

–

dressing

professionally

.

w

i

t

h

.

shirt

.

a

n

d

.

tie

pride . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ he

dressed

.

w

i

t

h

.

shirt

.

a

n

d

.

tie

pride,

–

–

each

.

a

n

d

.

every

workday,

.

.

s

o

.

.

he

.

m

i

g

h

t

.

someday,

–

–

earn

.

a

.

dollar

raise

.

o

n

.

top

of

.

h

i

s

.

minimum

wage . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ to

earn

.

a

.

dollar

raise

.

o

n

.

top

of

.

a

.

minimum

wage . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

no

.

o

n

e

.

seemed

.

t

o

.

notice . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

n

o

r

–

–

–

seemed

.

t

o

.

appreciate . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

t

i

l

l

.

.

.

I

admired

.

h

i

m

.

anyway,

–

–

just

.

f

o

r

.

having

.

t

h

e

.

faith . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

admired

.

h

i

m

.

just

.

f

o

r

.

having

.

t

h

e

.

faith . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Michael

.

a

l

w

a

y

s

.

tried,

–

–

striving

.

t

o

.

r~e~a~c~h

.

f

o

r

.

dreams

.

t

h

a

t

.

drifted

high

.

a

b

o

v

e

.

the

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

he

.

w

o

u

l

d

.

make

.

a

n

y

.

compromise,

–

–

working

.

a

l

l

.

hours

.

o

f

.

the

days

.

a

n

d

.

nights,

–

–

because

.

h

e

.

knew

.

h

e

.

would

.

n

e

v

e

r

.

capitalize

otherwise,

–

–

without

making

.

s

o

m

e

.

sacrifice . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ without

making

.

s

o

m

e

.

changes

.

i

n

.

his

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

he

came

.

t

o

.

realize,

–

–

there

was

.

n

o

.

other,

.

.

o

n

.

.

which

.

h

e

.

could

rely . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ no

other

.

w

h

o

.

might

help

.

h

i

m

.

arrive . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

watched

.

h

i

m

.

grow . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

watched

.

h

i

m

.

grow . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

watched

.

h

i

m

.

grow . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

r

o

m

.

a

.

caring

.

y

o

u

n

g

.

man,

.

.

w

h

o

.

.

knew

how

.

t

o

.

love . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

t

o

–

–

–

an

independent

.

m

a

n

.

who

needed

.

n

o

.

one . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ who

needed

.

n

o

.

one . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Michael

.

a

l

w

a

y

s

.

tried,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

there

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

time,

.

.

w

h

e

n

.

.

I

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

large

part

.

o

f

.

his

life . . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

w

a

s

.

.

.

a

.

large

part

.

o

f

.

his

smile . . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

w

a

s

.

.

.

a

.

large

part

.

o

f

.

his

future . . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

a

.

large

part

.

o

f

.

his

rhyme . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

never

.

d

i

d

.

I

realize,

.

.

h

e

.

.

would

.

m

a

k

e

.

retrospection

shine

.

s

o

.

bright . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ never

.

d

i

d

.

I

.

realize,

.

.

a

l

l

.

.

the

while,

.

.

h

o

w

.

.

deeply

.

h

e

.

loved

.

w

h

e

n

.

he

.

w

a

s

.

mine . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ how

deeply

.

h

e

.

loved

.

w

h

e

n

.

he

.

w

a

s

.

mine:

–

–

–

.

.

.

Michael

.

a

l

w

a

y

s

.

took

.

t

h

e

.

time

.

t

o

.

polish

.

e

v

e

r

y

.

moment . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ to

savor

.

e

v

e

r

y

.

word

that

.

w

a

s

.

spoken . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ leaving

.

t

h

e

.

lamplight

.

t

o

.

linger

.

i

n

.

adoration,

.

.

j

u

s

t

.

.

so

.

h

e

.

could

cherish

.

a

n

d

.

adMire . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

before

we

.

.

f

e

l

l

.

.

into

.

t

h

a

t

.

deep,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

peaceful

ease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Michael

.

w

o

k

e

.

early

mornings

.

s

o

.

he

.

c

o

u

l

d

.

tenderly

.

w

a

k

e

.

me

.

f

r

o

m

.

my

sleep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

before

rushing

.

o

f

f

.

to

.

h

i

s

.

second

.

j

o

b

.

which

.

h

e

.

worked,

.

.

o

n

l

y

.

.

so

.

h

e

.

could

provide

.

n

i

c

e

.

things

.

f

o

r

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

whenever

.

o

u

r

.

lips

.

w

o

u

l

d

.

meet,

.

.

h

e

.

.

kissed

.

a

s

.

if

.

e

v

e

r

y

.

second

.

w

o

u

l

d

.

be

.

t

h

e

.

last . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

when

.

h

e

.

looked . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ when

.

h

e

.

looked

.

a

t

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

w

a

s

.

the

only . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

w

a

s

.

the

only . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

w

a

s

.

the

only . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

w

a

s

.

the

only . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

w

a

s

.

the

only . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

yes,

.

Michael

.

a

l

w

a

y

s

.

tried . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

someday

.

I

.

hope

.

h

e

.

will

realize,

.

.

h

o

w

.

.

much

.

I

.

cherish

.

t

h

e

.

garden

vines

.

h

e

.

selflessly

planted . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

bloom . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

bloom . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

bloom . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

t

o

–

–

–

the

–

–

white,

–

–

ruby,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

violet,

–

–

springtime

smiles . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ they

bloom . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

t

o

–

–

–

the

–

–

white,

–

–

ruby,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

violet,

–

–

springtime

smiles . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

which

.

forever

charm

.

m

y

.

eyes,

.

.

m

y

.

.

heart,

–

–

even

.

o

n

.

days

.

w

h

i

c

h

.

strive . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ even

.

o

n

.

days

.

w

h

i

c

h

.

strive . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

lose

.

t

h

e

i

r

.

grace,

–

–

shimmer,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

shine.

Reflection: This was a forgotten reflective-themed poem that I wrote back in June of 2009 in loving memory and appreciation of a wonderful friend (and a former romantic partner). I was very awkward and had so many things to learn back in our earlier days together. I hope this poem does him justice and helps him to realize just how much he meant to me and how greatly I loved, cherished, and appreciated him over the years.

Let’s

.

t

a

k

e

.

a

.

drive,

–

–

you

.

a

n

d

.

I,

.

.

t

o

.

.

the

.

amusement

room

.

f

o

r

.

a

while,

–

–

where

.

w

e

.

can

.

p

a

y

.

tokens

.

a

t

.

a

.

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

a

.

30-minute

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ deny

.

t

h

e

.

world

outside,

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

a

.

30-minute

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ wine

.

a

n

d

.

dine

.

t

h

e

.

eyes,

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

a

.

30-minute

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ purge

.

t

h

e

.

worries

.

f

r

o

m

.

the

mind,

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

a

.

30-minute

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

l

l

–

–

–

we

need

.

t

o

.

do . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ all

we

.

r

e

a

l

l

y

.

need

.

t

o

.

do . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

s

–

–

–

>>>ARRIVE->>

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

let’s

.

t

a

k

e

.

a

.

drive . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ let’s

take

.

a

.

drive,

–

–

you

.

a

n

d

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

a

.

30-minute

smile.

Reflection: This was a romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in May of 2001 in reflection of some of the exploratory, romantic adventures I had in my earlier years. They were brief but passionate, exciting experiences that I would never trade.

Together

.

w

e

.

waltz

into

.

t

h

e

.

serene

tease

.

o

f

.

a

.

smooth

.

a

n

d

.

soothing

dream . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

for

.

a

.

moment

believe

.

w

e

.

might

never

.

n

e

e

d

.

to

leave . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ we

might

.

never

.

n

e

e

d

.

to

leave . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Anticipation

burns . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Passion

breeds . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Memory

blurs . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

conscience

bleeds . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

within

.

t

h

e

.

private

rooms

.

o

f

.

margarita

moods

.

a

n

d

.

reminiscent

views . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Cartoon

colors

bloom . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

pleasing

images

brew . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

brew

.

a

n

d

.

confuse . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

brew

.

a

n

d

.

confuse . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

brew

.

a

n

d

.

confuse . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

wanted

illusions

.

w

i

t

h

.

the

truth.

Reflection: This was a romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in May of 2001 in reflection of some of the exploratory, romantic adventures I had in my earlier years. They were brief but passionate, exciting experiences that I would never trade.

So

sad

.

t

o

.

see

.

y

o

u

r

.

playful

youth,

–

–

subdued

.

a

n

d

.

consumed

.

b

y

.

the

tattoos

.

o

f

.

abuse . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

try

.

t

o

.

hide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

try

.

t

o

.

hide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

behind

.

wallpaper

designs

.

o

f

.

posed

pride . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

What

color

.

w

i

l

l

.

suit

.

y

o

u

r

.

mood

tonight,

.

.

a

s

.

.

you

begin

.

t

o

.

lead

.

y

o

u

r

.

new

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

five

.

f

i

n

e

.

flavors,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

two

.

dimensions

wide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ five

.

f

i

n

e

.

flavors,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

two

.

dimensions

wide . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

iced

.

w

i

t

h

.

fake

promises

.

a

n

d

.

lies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

day,

–

–

after

night,

–

–

after

day . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

night,

–

–

after

day,

–

–

after

night . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

h

o

p

e

.

before

.

t

o

o

.

long,

.

.

y

o

u

.

.

come

.

t

o

.

realize,

.

.

h

o

w

.

.

much

better

.

i

t

.

felt

.

t

o

.

live

alive . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

within

.

t

h

e

.

warmth

.

o

f

.

those,

.

.

y

o

u

.

.

could

.

o

n

c

e

.

rely . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ within

.

t

h

e

.

warmth

.

o

f

.

those,

.

.

y

o

u

.

.

could

.

o

n

c

e

.

rely . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

used

.

t

o

.

move . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ You

used

.

t

o

.

move . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

between

.

t

h

e

.

moods

.

o

f

.

smooth

.

a

n

d

.

soothing

afternoons . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

used

.

t

o

.

bloom

into

.

t

h

e

.

laughter

.

a

n

d

.

charm,

.

.

o

f

.

.

brewed

cartoons . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

now

.

y

o

u

.

cannot

.

f

i

n

d

.

refuge

.

f

r

o

m

.

even

.

t

h

e

.

addictions

.

y

o

u

.

selectively

choose . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ from

even

.

t

h

e

.

addictions

.

y

o

u

.

selectively

choose . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

welcome

to

.

t

h

e

.

barbecue,

–

–

where

we

.

c

a

n

.

view

retreating

.

y

o

u

t

h

.

accumulate

.

t

h

e

.

dues . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

accumulate

.

t

h

e

.

dues . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

accumulate

.

t

h

e

.

dues . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

accumulate

.

t

h

e

.

dues . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

f

–

–

–

retreating

youth . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

s

–

–

–

you

.

helplessly

move

.

f

r

o

m

.

low

.

t

o

.

high . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

from

side

.

t

o

.

side . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

ever

mesmerized

.

b

y

.

the

whirling,

–

–

winding,

–

–

hypnotic

.

ride:

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

can’t

.

g

e

t

.

on . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

can’t

.

g

e

t

.

on . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

You

can’t

.

g

e

t

.

on . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

you

can’t

.

g

e

t

.

off.

Reflection: This was a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in May of 2001 where the affected party flirts with temptation and repeatedly gets drawn into the depths of the darkness and chaos it brings – being addicted to the “ride.” It becomes a lifelong, all-consuming struggle – and it seems the affected party will never be able to escape the forces of temptation, addiction, and compulsion. The struggle can represent any form of temptation, addiction, or compulsion: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, obsessions, etc.

I

get

.

t

h

e

.

feeling

.

y

o

u

.

have

.

n

o

t

.

smiled

.

i

n

.

a

while . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

get

.

t

h

e

.

feeling

.

there’s

.

m

u

c

h

.

more

inside,

.

.

t

h

a

t

.

.

you

deny

.

t

h

e

.

world

outside . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

although,

.

I

.

know

.

y

o

u

.

might

.

a

t

.

times,

–

–

feel

confused

.

a

n

d

.

lost

between

.

t

h

e

.

midnight

aisles

.

a

n

d

.

dawn’s

.

unforgiving

skies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

know

.

h

o

w

.

it

feels

.

t

o

.

hide

.

b

e

h

i

n

d

.

lies . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ to

hide

.

b

e

h

i

n

d

.

the

.

hollow

disguise,

.

.

o

f

.

.

laughing

eyes

.

t

h

a

t

.

would

.

m

u

c

h

.

rather

cry . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

know

.

h

o

w

.

it

feels . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

know

.

h

o

w

.

it

feels

.

t

o

.

live

.

w

i

t

h

o

u

t

.

being

alive . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ how

.

i

t

.

feels

.

t

o

.

ride

.

t

h

e

.

highest

highs,

.

.

i

n

t

o

.

.

the

.

deepest

dives . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

know

.

h

o

w

.

it

feels . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

So,

.

let’s

.

m

a

k

e

.

today

.

t

h

e

.

day

.

w

e

.

laugh

.

a

n

d

.

dance

.

w

i

t

h

.

the

.

carefree

joys,

.

.

w

e

.

.

knew

.

a

s

.

girls

.

a

n

d

.

boys . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

when

.

w

e

.

never

.

h

a

d

.

to

worry

.

a

b

o

u

t

.

being

.

g

o

o

d

.

enough

.

t

o

.

make

.

t

h

e

.

grade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

about

temptations

.

t

h

a

t

.

might

lead

.

u

s

.

astray . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

when

.

w

e

.

never

.

h

a

d

.

to

worry

.

a

b

o

u

t

.

misconceptions

.

a

n

d

.

false

impressions . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

stereotypes

.

a

n

d

.

hierarchy

climbs . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

social

acceptance

.

a

n

d

.

repentance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

when

.

w

e

.

never

.

h

a

d

.

to

worry

.

a

b

o

u

t

.

being

.

g

o

o

d

.

enough . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ good

enough

.

f

o

r

.

love . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

get

.

t

h

e

.

feeling

.

y

o

u

.

have

.

n

o

t

.

smiled

.

i

n

.

a

while . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

.

I

pray

.

I

.

c

a

n

.

somehow

fade

.

t

h

e

.

weight

.

o

f

.

shame . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

weight

.

o

f

.

shame

.

t

h

a

t

.

dims

.

t

h

e

.

starshine,

–

–

where

.

y

o

u

r

.

playful

spirit

.

s

t

i

l

l

.

resides.

Reflection: This was a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in May of 2001 where the contemplator is deeply affected by a solemn soul who repeatedly struggles with love, sadness, loneliness, and acceptance, and tends to get drawn into the depths of darkness and despair where he/she withdraws to struggle alone.

My

eyes

implore

.

t

h

e

.

eyes

imploring

mine . . .

.

.

.

smile,

.

solicits

smile,

.

solicits

smile,

.

solicits

smile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Two

.

m

e

n

.

burn

.

f

o

r

.

ecstasy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Two

.

m

e

n

.

entertain

fantasy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Two

.

m

e

n

.

presented

.

a

s

.

straight . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Two

.

m

e

n

.

experimentally

gay . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It’s

really

.

j

u

s

t

.

stage

play . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ it’s

really

.

j

u

s

t

.

a

.

chess

game . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Night,

.

.

a

f

t

e

r

.

.

night,

.

.

I

.

.

force

.

t

h

e

.

kings

.

o

f

.

manly

ways,

.

.

t

o

.

.

positions

.

w

h

e

r

e

.

stalemate

reigns . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ to

positions

.

w

h

e

r

e

.

stalemate

reigns . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

they

wait . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Wouldn’t

.

y

o

u

.

agonize,

.

.

t

o

.

.

be

.

t

h

e

.

man

.

i

n

.

my

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Wouldn’t

.

y

o

u

.

compromise,

.

.

t

o

.

.

be

.

t

h

e

.

man

.

i

n

.

my

life . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

My

eyes

implore

.

t

h

e

.

eyes

imploring

mine . . .

.

.

.

smile,

.

solicits

smile,

.

solicits

smile,

.

solicits

smile.

Reflection: This was a romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in October of 2000 in reflection of tentative, exploratory, forbidden, romantic encounters – with two very attractive men (not at the same time) who were supposedly straight. They were brief but very passionate, exciting experiences for me.

Reflection:

I wrote this poem back in October of 2000 for a friend who shared with me some of the things that happened to him when growing up at home and I could really relate to that – having similar kinds of experiences. So, I wrote this poem as a gift to him and to show that I could really relate to him.

Well, after I gave it to him, he criticized it and said it was not even close to capturing what he had gone through in his life. Then I didn’t hear from him for a while. 

He later reconnected with me and thanked me for writing the poem saying that it had deeply affected him but initially made him feel uncomfortable because he felt exposed and that I had seen right through him. He hadn’t met anyone who could do that right after learning about someone’s childhood history. 

I also intentionally misspelled a word because I’m big on rhythm when writing poetry so I shortened the correct, tedious word “lingeringly” to “lingerly” and it seemed to work.

Here’s the poem which comes from my book Burning . . . Burning Blue: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/The-Boy-You-Never-Knew.pdf