Author: Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Create Healthy Boundaries By Treating Assistance to Others as Partnerships

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing that many people struggle with is creating and maintaining healthy boundaries when providing assistance to others. Something that I frequently tell people in this regard is to treat these kinds of situations as partnerships where both you and the parties you are providing assistance to jointly participate and contribute towards resolving the issues, improving the situations at hand, and/or creating better lives overall. That is, there is both the part that YOU will contribute and there is the part which the OTHER PARTIES will contribute. The second part is frequently overlooked by the good hearted givers of the world, but is the key to success for truly making things better.

If you find in your life that you’ve repeatedly offered assistance to someone where the situation does not seem to improve or perhaps even gets worse then take a good hard look at the approach being taken. Until those receiving the assistance are ready, willing, and committed towards taking steps to help themselves there’s really not much that you can do. It’s just wasted energy on your part. Simply step aside, wish them well, and wait until the troubled persons are ready, willing, and committed to do their part. This goes for people experiencing financial difficulties, relationship or family issues, employment issues, addiction related issues, and other life issues.

Now, that being stated, the troubled individuals themselves do not necessarily need to know what to specifically do in order to make their situations better. Oftentimes they don’t. But they do have to be ready, willing, and committed towards working with you (and others) to: (1) identify potential options and resources, (2) investigate the options/resources and select those which potentially offer good solutions, and (3) develop and execute plans for making progress.

This does not mean that success will be experienced the first time through. It does mean that the troubled individuals must do their part, and that if the initial options/resources selected or the executed plans do not work, then they must be ready, willing, and committed towards identifying, investigating, and selecting other options/resources and developing and executing new plans. That is, it is likely this will need to be an iterative process in order to find a good solution. And so long as the troubled persons are contributing and participating in finding a solution there’s no reason to not consider helping them. However, should these individuals stop their efforts then you might consider stopping yours. Because, at that point, there won’t be much you will able to do to help ~ the partnership no longer existing. Simply step aside until those times when they are ready, willing, and committed to do their part. You’ll save yourself a lot of time, energy, and frustration if you operate in this fashion. Furthermore, you will communicate a strong message to those individuals that there are no handouts. That until they are ready, willing, and committed to helping themselves you will not be coming to their rescue.

In my own life, I know someone who has struggled with a drug addiction problem for several years now. Anytime that he’s caught up in the turbulence and chaos of the addiction issue I step aside and wish him well. However, during those periods of time when he’s actively seeking help and is committed to working towards solutions then I step right back in to lend a helping hand.

Now, there are some individuals who are not willing to offer assistance in these kinds of situations due to a common word in the addiction and recovery arena called “enabling”. However, I would argue that there is a world of difference between enabling someone to continue living an unhealthy lifestyle and enabling someone to help himself. And, no matter how bad things get for my friend, so long as he is ready, willing, and committed to doing his part in helping himself, he’ll always be able to count on me to do mine. For, although I am not willing to help him continue living an unhealthy life, anytime that he is ready, willing, and committed to get help, I’ll be right there to help him pick up the pieces and to make things better.

I encourage you to take a similar approach when helping others in your life. Always remember to create and maintain healthy boundaries by treating the assistance that you provide to others as partnerships. Partnerships involving the part that YOU will perform as well as the part that the OTHER PARTIES will perform. This is the only way in which to truly help others. Anything less can be ineffective and even detrimental in nature. I hope this article will help some of you out there who experience similar struggles.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

Is it a Time for Caution in the Stock Market?

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

In examining the three year chart of the S&P 500 index (SPX) there appears to be potential changes in the behavior of the SPX over the past few months as indicated in Figure 1 below.

 

image

Figure 1: Annotated SPX chart (SPX chart provided courtesy of stockcharts.com)

For about the first two and a half years of this three year chart the SPX was in a strong uptrend as indicated by the green line in Figure 1 above. This period of time was characterized by what I will refer to as “checkmark” shaped recoveries in which drops from previous highs were followed by higher highs (see blue checkmarks above the green uptrend line).

Since the Summer months of 2015, however, a different pattern appears to be emerging suggesting that the SPX might be in the beginning stages of a downtrend as indicated by the red line in Figure 1 above. I ponder whether the future might be characterized by “reverse checkmark” shaped recoveries in which drops from previous highs are followed by lower highs. We might already be seeing hints of this (see the two blue reverse checkmarks below the red downtrend line).

If the red downtrend line above is confirmed we could see a drop in the SPX of 10% or more from where it is today. Thus, we might be entering a period of time where we’ll start seeing the lower highs and lower lows which are characteristic of downtrends. As such, it might be wise to proceed cautiously and to manage your risk. I’ve written several articles on how to effectively manage risk (click on “Financial Planning, Management, and Investing Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below, depending upon which device you are using, for helpful tips on managing risk and how to become a solid investor overall).

Those who are interested can follow my stock market activities here.

You can also follow me on twitter if you like at Joseph M Brennan Jr @ Brighter Days Life Coaching.

Retirement Goal Reached!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

So… I’ve done it! I’ve reached and exceeded my retirement goal which means next year I will seek to negotiate a part time schedule at work. All of this investing experience has paid off and I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to achieve financial freedom at last! I have one more financial goal that I am seeking to reach which is why I want to continue working part time next year. Once I achieve that it’ll be “Bye bye working world and paycheck dependency!” If I knew what I know about investing years ago I would have experienced this financial freedom years ago! Have a happy Sunday everyone! I know that I sure will!

Arrive Happier Than When the Journey Began

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way in which to live a happier life is to enjoy the process of getting there instead of focusing so much on end goals or destinations. There are frequently many opportunities for enjoyment, reflection, and relaxation all along the way which people do not take advantage of because of the stresses and negativities they tend to create by focusing solely on their end goals, dreams, or destinations and the potential periodic impact to these due to life’s happenings overall.

One thing that I frequently recommend to people, regarding the process of change, is to start small by planting seeds and gently moving in the direction of the changes they desire, perhaps within ordinary day-to-day activities, and then growing from there. For example, someone who wants to become a more disciplined person overall might start out by getting into the practice of becoming more disciplined in his or her daily routine and then growing from there. Over time he or she might experience not only a disciplined routine, but disciplined spending habits, disciplined work and business practices, disciplined health and fitness activities, and a disciplined life overall.

So how might one apply such a “plant the seeds” approach towards enjoying the process instead of merely focusing on end goals or destinations? Well, one way to get into this practice might be taking an ordinary thing that you do nearly each and every day and transforming it into an opportunity for promoting positive experiences such as viewing your modes of transportation, whether by car, by bus, by plane, or by train, as places for rest, relaxation, enjoyment, and reflection instead of purely as a means for getting there. If you do this you will look forward to these moments as places where you can be alone with your thoughts and might even experience joy and smile while reflecting on the positive aspects of your life, things that you can feel good about, that which you love and appreciate, the pleasant recent happenings of your life, reminiscing about the past, doing something else enjoyable, and perhaps even daydreaming a little. If you get into the practice of doing this you will feel more positive and relaxed upon reaching your destination whether you are starting your work day, winding down from work and going home, or arriving at some other location.

When doing this try out different approaches for creating a more peaceful and enjoyable environment for traveling to and from such as the use of relaxing, inspirational, or uplifting music, humor, audiobooks, or simply silence. If you are someone who tends to be late then try getting into the practice of waking up and leaving ten minutes or so earlier. The wonderful, peaceful, enjoyable, relaxed state of mind you will experience will be well worth the small sacrifice. Alternate between each of these approaches until you find something that works well for you. Some people find one approach that works so well for them that they want to keep doing it while others prefer variations and like to switch things up. Experiment a bit and then do whatever works best for you. Simply make it your goal to feel happier and more relaxed, on a regular basis, upon reaching your destination than when you first started the journey.

Another technique which can be helpful in these regards includes imagining that someone who you love dearly is traveling with you at the time such as a pet, a child, a significant other, or a grandparent or other relative that you love and appreciate. People tend to be more patient, cautious, humble, and relaxed when traveling with those that they love and appreciate so this can be a good approach to employ from time to time. Still another technique which might be helpful in these regards is when you witness offensive behavior at times, such as someone cutting in front of you, imagining the person is someone that you greatly love and care about who might exhibit similar qualities in some situations or perhaps even imagining situations in which you might behave in a similar fashion.

These are all wonderful ways in which to make your modes of transportation more pleasant, fun, relaxing, and safe. It can give you something to look forward to each and every day and is a small way in which to “plant the seeds” for getting you more into the practice of enjoying the process; allowing you to feel happier and more relaxed upon reaching your destination than before the journey began. Start by doing this for ordinary things that you do nearly each and every day such as traveling to and from and then grow from there. Eventually you will get to the point where you focus more on enjoying the process for multiple aspects of your life, such as the journey towards your goals and dreams, instead of purely focusing on destinations or end goals. What a wonderful life we could all enjoy and share if we each lived more in this fashion.

I hope this article will inspire some of you to live a happier life. I don’t care what approach you ultimately choose to use so long as it promotes greater peace, happiness, and enjoyment both within yourself and towards others. Just choose a pleasant, happy, enjoyable one.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

☆°▪︎ THE CALL ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I

knew

.

t

h

e

.

day

might

.

c

o

m

e

.

dawning,

–

–

when

.

y

o

u

.

would 

again

–

–

start

calling,

–

–

just

.

t

o

.

say . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

just

.

t

o

.

embrace . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

just

.

t

o

.

perhaps

someday . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

f

e

e

l

.

myself

leaning . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

f

e

e

l

.

myself

leaning . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

f

e

e

l

.

myself

leaning . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

closer

to

.

t

h

e

.

tease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

closer

to

.

t

h

e

.

warming

ease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

closer

to

.

t

h

e

.

haunting

memories . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

f

–

–

–

all

.

t

h

e

.

things

.

y

o

u

.

meant

.

t

o

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

I

will

.

S

W

A

L

L

O

W

.

your

intensity,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

!!LEAVE!!

–

–

–

.

.

.

leave

.

y

o

u

.

there

.

t

o

.

weep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

leave

.

y

o

u

.

there

.

t

o

.

weep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

leave

.

y

o

u

.

there

.

t

o

.

weep . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

me,

.

t

h

e

way

.

y

o

u

.

did

.

w

i

t

h

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ leave

.

y

o

u

.

there . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

tossing,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

turning,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

spinning,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

sinking . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

drowning

.

i

n

.

the

dream.

Reflection: This was a romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in January of 2016 where the affected party chooses a path of spitefulness and retaliation when a former romantic partner tries to reconnect.

☆°▪︎ THE FALL ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I’m

sorry . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ what

did

.

y

o

u

.

say ?

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

must

.

h

a

v

e

. 

been

away . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

.

I

.

f

e

l

l

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

warmth

.

o

f

.

a

.

passing

glance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I 

.

f

e

l

l

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

warmth . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I 

.

f

e

l

l

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

warmth . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I 

.

f

e

l

l

.

into

.

t

h

e

.

warmth

.

o

f

.

a

.

passing

glance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

started

dreaming

.

o

f

.

the

dance.

Reflection: This was a short, simple romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in January of 2016 where the romancer gets swept away for a moment by another. I’ve had this kind of experience many times in my life, and I’m sure most everyone has.

2016 Goal of Financial Freedom and Independence

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Happy Holidays everyone! So… In preparation for the coming year… My primary goal for 2016 is to get to the point that I can fully support myself financially via my investments. I’ve had a record year in the stock market this year so I’m getting close. Based on where I presently stand I’d need to earn about 6.5% per year in the stock market to fully support myself without reducing my account balances. This might be sustainable given that the long term average for stock market returns is about 7% per year, but I’d feel much better about things if I could get down to only needing to earn about 5% per year. We’ll see where things stand at the end of 2016, but my goal is to reach this. If I do I’ll be looking to cut back to part time at my job or perhaps to even stop working the job completely. It’s such a wonderful feeling knowing that I’m getting so close to being able to do this! So now you know why I’ve been spending so much of my off time at Starbucks! I’ve been researching stocks, developing and refining my investment strategies and approaches, and writing a series of financial planning, management, and investing books which I also plan to complete by the end of 2016. So soon, all of my investing “secrets” will be revealed!

I’m determined to achieve this financial freedom and independence goal and I can help you with achieving this as well. Please contact me if you need any assistance with any of your financial planning, management, and/or investing needs as this is one of the areas that I actively perform life coaching in. Also feel free to click on “Financial Planning, Management, and Investing Related Posts” on the sidebar to the right or below (depending upon which device you are using) for helpful tips on how to become a solid investor.

You can also follow me on twitter if you like at Joseph M Brennan Jr @ Brighter Days Life Coaching.

#investing #stocks

WHICH LIFE WILL YOU CHOOSE?

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Which life will you choose? A life full of beauty, love, warmth, joy, inspiration, and hope? Or a life filled with pain, loneliness, pessimism, negativity, emptiness, and despair? The choice is always yours. Remembering this is the key to the level of happiness – or unhappiness for that matter – that you will experience throughout the days, weeks, months, and years of your life. It is also the key for how much happiness – or unhappiness for that matter – that you will create within the lives of others who surround you. So, which life will you choose to experience and create? This is probably the most important question you can ask yourself.

Most people who know me well know I am a spiritual person. Now, what do I mean by that? Well, for me, one thing this means is that the spirits of all living and breathing beings never die – they live on after their bodies pass. Another thing it means for me is that connections and communications between individual beings – living or dead, near or far – can continue as if they were within our immediate presence. This offers such warmth, inspiration, and comfort because no matter where I am I never feel distant, disconnected, or alone. I can always summon and experience the joyful presence of others I have loved and appreciated in my life – past or present, living or dead. Sometimes, I will do things and invite them along to experience them with me. Sometimes, I will visit places we enjoyed in the past and beforehand tell them I am going and invite them to join me there. In either case, I feel their joyful presence and it fills me with happiness and makes me smile. I will frequently mentally converse with them and experience their joy at still being a part of my life and my joy at still being a part of theirs.

This is an activity you can perform with all of those that you love and appreciate: people and pets alike. For example, one of my best friends moved clear across the country a couple of years ago with his two dogs who I also adored. Sometimes, I like to go to the areas where he used to live. But before I go, I will generally invite him and his dogs – in spirit – to join me there. I always have such a wonderful, pleasant experience whenever I do this. And who knows? Perhaps, me doing this gave my friend and his dogs happy thoughts in those moments or happy dreams if they were sleeping at the time. For, so much more is possible in the spiritual world than in the physical world.

As another example, my mother died back in 2014, but I still invite her to participate in my life and feel her presence around me. For one thing, she always enjoyed trying new foods and desserts. So, anytime I’m trying something new I invite her to enjoy it with me. And she always does it with such joy! Bringing me great happiness in the process.

So, just because those that you love and appreciate are no longer in your life – either because they have moved away or have passed on – this does not mean you cannot continue to experience the warmth and the joy and the inspiration of their presence. Connect and communicate with them spiritually. Do it now. Do it tomorrow. And do it anytime you desire to experience the warmth, joy, and inspiration of their presence. You are not alone. You never have been. The spiritual world is always there for you.

Now, of course, there are naysayers who do not or will not embrace – and in fact reject – what I have proposed above. However, I would ask you to consider this: Imagine someone who lived his or her life experiencing the love, warmth, and joy of living in this fashion. Now, imagine someone else who lived life rejecting all of these notions and believing that life was a painful, lonely, dismal, and spiritless place. If both of these individuals died tomorrow, who do you suppose lived the happier life? The way you choose to live your life is always your choice. Always remember that. Because we truly do not know how the spiritual world works or what happens after we pass. Although, there have been accounts of near death experiences where beauty and reunions with loved ones of the past have been repeatedly described in detail.

I have made my choice. Which life will you choose? A life full of beauty, love, warmth, joy, inspiration, and hope? Or a life filled with pain, loneliness, pessimism, negativity, emptiness, and despair? Because it truly does not matter. Things will happen the way they do no matter how you choose to live your life. It does not matter. Or perhaps, more importantly, it does.

I hope this article will inspire some of you to live a happier life. I do not care which specific path or journey you choose so long as it does not create negativity towards yourself or towards others. Just choose a happy one. Not only for the benefit of yourself, but for the benefit of those who surround you.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

☆°▪︎ YOU ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

just

what

.

i

s

.

the

color

.

o

f

.

my

mood ?

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

although

.

i

t

.

seems

.

t

o

.

move

.

s

o

.

soon . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

my

only

thought . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

my

only

joy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

my

only

want . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

s

–

–

–

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

When

first

.

i

t

.

happened,

.

.

I

.

.

cannot

.

b

e

.

sure . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

I

cannot

discern . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

cannot

discern . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

whether

.

t

h

e

.

trace

.

o

f

.

words,

.

.

I

.

.

thought

.

I

.

heard

before,

.

.

w

a

s

.

.

the

turning

.

o

f

.

the

blur . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

the

blurring

.

o

f

.

the

turn . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

–

–

–

the

valleys

.

w

h

e

r

e

.

curiosity

stirs . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

–

–

–

the

valleys

.

w

h

e

r

e

.

uncertainty

burns . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

in 

quiet

passings

.

w

e

. 

suddenly

–

–

MERGED

MERGED

MERGED

–

–

into

the

–

–

BLUR

BLURR

BLURRR

–

–

of

the

–

–

URGE

URGE

URGE

–

–

of

.

t

h

e

.

deep,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

wild,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

winding 

turn . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

deep,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

wild,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

winding 

turn . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

merging 

into

.

t

h

e

.

blur . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ merging 

into

.

t

h

e

.

blur

.

o

f

.

the

urge . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ merging 

into

.

t

h

e

.

blur

.

o

f

.

the

unsure

.

a

n

d

.

insecure . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ of

.

t

h

e

.

words

.

I

.

thought

. 

I

.

heard

before . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

So

.

y

o

u

.

ask,

–

–

what

is

.

t

h

e

.

color

.

o

f

.

my

mood ?

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ well,

.

.

a

t

.

.

times

. 

i

t

.

blooms

.

i

n

t

o

. 

soothing,

–

–

romantic

moons,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

at

others,

.

.

a

.

.

dark,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

deep,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

brooding

blue . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

because

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

because

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

because

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

my

only

thought . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

my

only

joy . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

my

only

want

.

i

s

.

you.

Reflection: This was a romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in September of 2015 where the affected party meets someone he/she is highly attracted to who ends up absorbing and consuming much of his/her life throughout the days, weeks, and/or months of attraction. I’ve had a few experiences like this in my life as I’m sure most people have from time to time.

☆°▪︎ THE SOOTHING SEA OF MEMORY ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Please

take

.

a

.

seat

.

r

i

g

h

t

.

here

.

w

i

t

h

.

me,

–

–

overlooking

.

t

h

e

.

sea . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

sea

.

o

f

.

memory . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

where

only

–

–

soothing

silence,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

silent

soothing

–

–

speaks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ where

only

–

–

soothing

silence,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

silent

soothing

–

–

speaks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

although

.

w

e

.

cannot

.

q

u

i

t

e

.

perceive

.

t

h

e

.

whispered

words

.

o

f

.

peaceful

ease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

w

e

–

–

–

can

.

a

t

.

least 

–

–

hear,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

feel,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

breathe

.

t

h

e

.

hint

.

o

f

.

what

.

s

h

e

.

means . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ a

hint

.

o

f

.

what

.

s

h

e

.

means . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Please

take

.

a

.

seat

.

r

i

g

h

t

.

here

.

w

i

t

h

.

me,

–

–

overlooking

.

t

h

e

.

sea . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

sea

.

o

f

.

memory . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Take

.

a

.

sip

.

o

f

.

the

.

warming

.

ease,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

simply

smile,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

be,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

drift,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

dream . . .

–

–

–

.

.

. 

right

.

here

.

i

n

.

peace

.

w

i

t

h

.

me.

Reflection: This was an inspiration/hope-themed poem that I wrote back in August of 2015 in reflection of the simple, soothing, peaceful ease quiet moments can bring.