Author: Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: FOCUS ON CONTRIBUTIONS INSTEAD OF RESULTS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

In such a “results and outcomes” focused society, it can be easy to feel over-burdened and unhappy at times. However, if you focus solely on, and allow yourself to be happy with, your contributions instead of on results and outcomes you will feel much better about your life and about yourself. We do not control results and outcomes. We only control our contributions.

Many things in life happen the way they do no matter what we do or how much we give. So, get in the practice of detaching from results and outcomes. Just do your best – whatever your best might be at the time given everything you have going on in your life and how you are feeling at the time – and be content with that. It’s the best you can do and you can feel good about that. Don’t worry so much about what you cannot control. Just do your part. That’s all you can ask of yourself (and others).

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

☆°▪︎ FAST FORWARD ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I

remember

.

t

h

e

.

time,

.

.

w

h

e

n

.

.

all

.

w

e

.

had . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

all

.

w

e

.

desired . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

all

.

w

e

.

needed . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

w

a

s

–

–

–

you

.

a

n

d

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

.

w

h

e

n

.

every

roll

.

o

f

.

the

dice

–

–

seemed

right . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

.

w

h

e

n

.

every

night

–

–
would

arrive

.

w

i

t

h

.

a

.

higher,

–

–
brighter

high . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

as

.

t

h

e

.

miles

.

o

f

.

months

.

a

n

d

.

years

–

–

rolled

by . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

the

youth

. 

a

n

d

.

magic

–

–

began

.

t

o

.

dim

.

a

n

d

.

die . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

we

awoke

.

t

o

.

realize,

–

–

there

.

i

s

.

only

you

.

a

n

d

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ there

.

i

s

.

only

.

t

h

e

.

you

.

a

n

d

.

I

.

who

.

h

a

d

.

such

.

a

.

beautiful

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ who

.

h

a

d

.

such

.

a

.

beautiful

time,

.

.

i

n

.

.

the

dimming,

–

–

dying

. 

d

a

y

s

.

gone

by.

Reflection: This was a forgotten romantic-themed poem I wrote back in November of 2018 where the contemplator looks back on a dimming, dying romance that was once so passionate and vibrant in the days of youth – and comes to realize that the person he or she is with is no longer enough. This is one of the few poems I have written over the years that was inspired by a movie. This one was inspired by the wonderful movie: “Blue Valentine.”

☆°▪︎ FAR BEYOND ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There

.

i

s

.

magic

.

a

n

d

.

magnificence

.

a

l

l

.

around

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

f

–

–

–

that’s

.

t

h

e

.

belief

.

y

o

u

.

choose . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ magic

.

a

n

d

.

magnificence

–

–

up

.

a

n

d

.

down

.

a

n

d

.

all

around,

.

f

o

r

.

you,

.

a

n

d

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

everyone

.

w

h

o

.

refuses

to

.

b

e

.

consumed

.

b

y

.

the

limitless,

–

–

worldly,

–

–

wicked

brews . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

f

–

–

–

the

deep,

.

a

n

d

.

dark,

.

a

n

d

.

brooding

blues . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ the

deep,

.

a

n

d

.

dark,

.

a

n

d

.

brooding

blues . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

if

.

i

t

.

is

love,

.

a

n

d

.

life,

.

a

n

d

.

joy

.

y

o

u

.

choose . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

h

e

n

–

–

–

smile

when

.

y

o

u

.

see

it . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

dance

when

.

y

o

u

.

feel

it . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

shine

when

.

y
o
u

.

breathe

it . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

your

own

–

–

unique

warmth,

–

–

color,

–

–

light,

.

a

n

d

,

brilliance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

c

a

n

–

–

–

ignite

.

a

.

wondrous,

–

–

shimmering

expanse . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

a

r

–

–

–

beyond

.

t

h

e

.

romance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ far

beyond

.

t

h

e

.

elegance . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

f

–

–

–

the

original

magic

.

a

n

d

.

magnificence.

Reflection:  

This was a hope/inspiration themed poem I wrote back in October of 2018 to inspire hope and optimism by suggesting our perceptions largely create the way we feel inside and the life experiences we have.

☆°▪︎ OUR FIRST KISS ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Our

first

kiss

.

w

a

s

.

much

better

.

t

h

a

n

.

this . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

it

beamed,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

burned,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

blossomed

.

w

i

t

h

.

bliss . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

although

tonight

.

y

o

u

.

tried,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

tried

.

t

o

.

make

it

.

t

h

e

.

very

best

.

o

f

.

its

kind . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

our

first

.

k

i

s

s

.

happened

.

l

o

n

g

.

before

tonight . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

mile,

–

–

before

mile,

–

–

before

mile . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

time,

–

–

before

time,

–

–

before

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

miles

.

a

n

d

.

time

.

b

e

f

o

r

e

.

tonight

arrived . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

miles

.

o

f

.

time

.

o

f

.

midnight

lines,

–

–

filled

.

w

i

t

h

.

you-s,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

me-s,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

we-s . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

wined

.

a

n

d

.

dined,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

dined

.

a

n

d

.

wined . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

across

.

t

h

e

.

isles

.

o

f

.

romantic

rhyme . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

isles

.

o

f

.

romantic

rhyme,

.

.

w

h

i

c

h

.

.

lie

inside

.

m

y

.

wildly

wandering,

–

–

wanting

mind.

Reflection: This was a forgotten romantic-themed poem I wrote back in November of 2018 where the romancer finally experiences what he or she has been anticipating over a period of several months – but the actual experience paled in comparison to what had been imagined many times before leading up to that event. So, the anticipation was much more passionate, moving, and thrilling than the actual experience. Frequently that happens in life. This poem was written about a someone I had daydreamed about romantically many times but found the actual experience to be nothing close to that.

HAPPINESS TIP: LIVE WITHOUT REGRETS OF WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One way to live happier is taking steps to better ensure you live without regrets. This essentially involves taking chances: taking chances on people, taking chances on opportunities, and taking chances on life experiences.

For example, back in my early 30s, to overcome my shy nature with respect to initiating conversations with others I did not know, I created and adopted the expression: “I’d rather try than be haunted by…” because the potential discomfort of trying and getting shunned was less painful than the haunting, restless thoughts of what might have been.

And I’ve had a lot of fun and gained a number of friends and wonderful life experiences over the years because of this. Many of which involve friendships which have lasted 15+ years!

A simple way to express this idea is (which my more intellectual followers might appreciate): “If A would like B to be a part of A’s life experience, then it probably makes sense for A to do something to initiate the process or communicate some sort of interest. Otherwise it may not happen.”

So, do not miss out on these kinds of wonderful life opportunities! The people and experiences in your life can add such color, beauty, excitement, and comfort throughout the months, years, and decades of your life. I STRONGLY encourage you to do this for yourself from time to time. Because you never know what might happen. So, do this for yourself if your can!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

☆°▪︎ A SIMPLE LIFE SERENE AND FREE ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Oh,

.

b

u

t

.

your

life

.

i

s

.

so

boring,

–

–
said

.

t

h

e

.

sea . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

your

life

.

i

s

.

so

boring,

–

–
said

he . . .
–
–

–

.

.

.
said

she . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

boring

.

i

s

.

simple . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

boring

.

i

s

.

sweet . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

boring
.

i

s

.

serene . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

freeing

.

t

o

.

me.

Reflection:  This was a simple, reflective-themed poem that came to me when I was at Daytona Beach relaxing by the sea. It was so simple and basic that I was surprised so many people liked it.

HAPPINESS TIP: AVOID MAKING “PERFECT” DECISIONS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There is no such thing as “the right decision”. There are good decisions, bad decisions, and decisions which lie between these two extremes. One of the keys to living a happy, stress-free life is making and being content with decisions which are good enough instead of those which are “perfect”. Because, perfectionism is never worth the cost. Nothing will ever be perfect no matter how much time, energy, and resources you put towards something. Simply consider a few facts or indicators, make a favorable decision based on these, and move out on that decision. You will live happier and make more progress in life if you do.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

BE A SOURCE OF PEACE, PATIENCE, AND POSITIVITY TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

One thing which can be helpful when those you love and appreciate are burdened by something or experiencing extreme negative thoughts and feelings is being a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for the troubled person (and others in your life). Anytime others perceive us as a consistent source of these kinds of positive qualities, they will spend more time with us and communicate with us more – both in good times and bad.

If you truly desire to serve as this constant source of peace, patience, and positivity to others, then focus on this desired vision for yourself and ask yourself what actions you can take today, tomorrow, next week, and next month to progress towards this and then start taking these actions. In addition, review and reflect on your progress by asking yourself, throughout your days, if your behaviors, actions, and communications have been consistent with your vision and make adjustments accordingly to ensure you converge towards it – saying “yes” to anything which moves you closer to your vision of peace, patience, and positivity and “no” to anything which does not. If you do these things, you will begin to embody the positive qualities you are envisioning for yourself.

I used this very technique to help a young woman I coached recently named Anne. Anne was worried because her girlfriend was becoming distant – not spending as much time or communicating with her as much as she had in the past. After talking with Anne further, it came to light that her girlfriend was getting overwhelmed by the health problems her mother was experiencing and the need for constant support. And things kept getting worse.

Up to that point in time, Anne would freely share her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend. It’s just something they had always done. I pointed out to Anne that her girlfriend – in going through the challenges with her mother – was living a life far out of balance and the imbalance and happenings in her life were creating a substantial amount stress, negativity, and chaos. As such, burdening her girlfriend further by communicating her own problems, issues, and concerns would make her girlfriend feel even more overwhelmed and intensify her negative feelings of stress, irritability, sadness, anxiety, and chaos – all of which might create additional withdrawal and isolation (in the best case) or a quick, desperate reaction (in the worst case).

So, I strongly encouraged Anne to refrain from sharing her day-to-day problems, issues, and concerns with her girlfriend during this period of time and instead sharing them with others in her life if she felt the need – others who were not going through such intense challenges in their lives. I also challenged Anne to focus primarily on becoming a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity for her girlfriend because of the increased likelihood they might spend more time together and communicate more with each other if her girlfriend associated Anne with these kinds of positive qualities – positive qualities which offered: (1) a safe haven away from all of the chaos and imbalance she was experiencing, and (2) a way of gaining back some of that balance and recharging and rejuvenating herself in the process.

Well, Anne did exactly that – actively taking steps to become a consistent source of peace, patience, and positivity to her girlfriend – saying “yes” to anything that moved her closer to this vision and “no” to anything which did not. And sure enough, her girlfriend started coming around much more often and they were able to recover from what might have otherwise resulted in a tragic event.

So, always keep this in mind when dealing with people in your life who are experiencing significant challenges. They might need a break from everything they are going through – and if you can offer this to them, this might be the very thing which allows them to successfully navigate and overcome the highly stressful challenges and events in their lives.   

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP REGARDING RELATIONSHIPS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

The most important question to ask yourself, in relationship situations (romantic or otherwise such as friends, family members, and acquaintances), is whether you desire to create closeness or distance. Once you decide which way you want to go, you must ensure your actions are consistent with that decision. Otherwise, you can create the opposite effect.

So many people desire to create closeness in their relationships but create distance instead because they focus on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing and reciprocate an amplified version of this. And the reciprocation and amplification process can continue back and forth between the parties until there is nothing left but distance.

There are cases, however, where people desire to create distance in relationships when they involve people who are detrimental towards them. In these situations, I always recommend that they focus intently on the hurt, harm, pain, and wrongdoing (and perhaps even exaggerate this) to give them the strength and resolve for creating the distance they need. Otherwise, they might not be able to do this. Especially, if they listen to their hearts instead.

So, keep these things in mind for your relationships. They can make all the difference in how things play out.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

THE HUGE HIDDEN WAY TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY YES TO ANYONE WITHOUT DOING THIS FIRST!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Sometimes, in our lives, we might say “yes” to those we are close to even when doing so might make us unhappy. Often, people do this out of their desire to be supportive and create additional closeness with others. However, what they fail to realize is that whenever they sacrifice their own happiness, needs, and desires in support of others, they will frequently create negative thoughts and feelings towards those they are seeking to please (as well as themselves). Thus, instead of the closeness they anticipated creating, they often end up creating distance instead.

For example, imagine you finally got a day to yourself and decided to spend the day being creative and doing some paintings you’ve been wanting to work on for some time now. Your romantic partner – upon realizing that you had the day off – asks you to perform a few errands and to get together for lunch. You don’t really want to do any of this because it interferes with your own plans but you agree to it because you think it would be kinder and less selfish of you to do so. So, you end up spending a few hours doing this and even though it only took a few hours, it might create negative thoughts and feelings towards your partner (and yourself) in the hours and days and weeks which follow – something which can create distance in your relationship instead of the closeness you had anticipated creating by being so supportive. This can happen anytime that you place the happiness and desires of others before your own. Especially, for things which truly matter to you.

Another example of this involves making plans. Recently, I coached a woman who had communicated that her boyfriend planned events for them to attend which she did not enjoy very much. She would go because he was her boyfriend but she would experience a large amount of stress, negativity, and anxiety leading up to the events, awkwardness at the events themselves when trying to “fit in” and being careful not to do anything socially awkward, and after the events when repeatedly criticizing herself for any faults or imperfections and telling herself she should have done better. So, she would experience a huge amount of stress, anxiety, and negativity leading up to the events, during the events themselves, and after the events. Stress, anxiety, and negativity which consumed her and made her less available and attentive towards herself and her partner.

The problem with situations such as the above is frequently people plan events and activities based on what they value. And values tend to vary widely between one person and the next. For example, her partner was very extroverted in nature and enjoyed large gatherings and events. She was the opposite. So, I encouraged her to have honest discussions with her partner about her values and preferences so that he could become more mindful of these and make plans accordingly. I also encouraged her to get in the practice of saying “no” to things which make her unhappy – because doing what you truly do not want to do can affect your relationships in huge and lasting ways.

If you operate in the above fashion you will live a happy, peaceful, authentic life – your own and nobody else’s. And you will take actions and support events and activities which are ALWAYS right for you and others in your life. What a wonderful life you will create and share if you live in this fashion. So, do this for yourself (and others) if you can. Oh, and also be sure to read this related article about why you should never take the advice of anyone (including me!)!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships