Author: Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

HAPPINESS TIP: HOW TO RELEASE JUDGMENT AND BE THE PERSON EVERYONE WANTS TO BE AROUND!

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a happiness tip on releasing judgment and being the person everyone wants to be around: think about all of those you love and appreciate in your life – each of which have led unique life experiences which might have changed over time. Some of these aspects you know about and others you might not.

For example, some people in your life might have had Catholic, Buddhist, Atheist, gay, and straight aspects of their life experiences. Others might have had politics and political/other activist aspects and philosophies as a part of their life experiences. Still others might have had narrow-minded or liberal-minded views and beliefs or struggled with temptations and addictions as a part of their life experiences. And yet others might be artists or engineers or educators or entrepreneurs or have preferred one political candidate/party over another political candidate/party throughout their life experiences. And the list goes on.

However, no matter which path they might have taken to get to where they are today, always remember that you love and appreciate them as they are. And they might have been very different had they taken different paths or had other life experiences.

So, anytime you are tempted to pass judgment, remember those who you love and appreciate in your life today – those who might have had similar aspects of what you are judging others for in their life experience. And release that judgment and allow people to have the life experiences they truly desire up until that time that they choose a different path (if ever). Feel free to offer loving advice and ideas, all along the way, which you think might help them live a happier life but always remember it is their life experience – not yours.

If you live your life in the above fashion, you will feel happier, and others will feel happier and more comfortable in your presence. The combination of which will create, well, even greater happiness – both in your life and theirs!

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP REGARDING ALCOHOL (AND OTHER LIFE DISTRACTIONS)

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

People frequently ask why I stopped drinking alcohol over the years. I’ve never had a drinking problem but there are several benefits to giving up alcohol (and other similar kinds of life distractions):

1) Cost: The amount of money you save from not indulging in these kinds of life distractions is tremendous and is money which can be put towards other dreams and desires you might have.

2) Risk: Not indulging in such life distractions substantially reduces your risk both in the near term and long term.

3) Personal Growth: Not indulging in these kinds of life distractions forces you to deal with life’s stresses, challenges, and “ups a downs” in a healthy fashion. Once you’ve dealt with some of these a few times, you realize that dealing in healthier ways promotes more rapid recovery, greater resilience, and mental fortitude. In addition, not indulging in such life distractions also forces you to learn how to socialize, communicate, and deal with social situations in a sober state. Qualities which you develop and strengthen over time which can benefit you (and others in your life) for your entire life. 

So, that’s three reasons I can come up with which might be worth consideration. But, as always, do what works best for you in your life. It is your life experience and no one else’s.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

☆°▪︎ LOVER’S LANE AND LOST AGAIN ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

How

.

m

a

n

y

.

times

.

h

a

v

e

.

I

.

opened

.

m

y

.

eyes

.

t

o

.

find . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

yesterday’s

rhymes

.

o

f

.

smiles

.

a

n

d

.

sunshine,

–

–

teed,

.

a

n

d

.

tied,

.

a

n

d

.

tagged,

.

a

n

d

.

tossed . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

carelessly

.

o

u

t

.

of

.

m

y

.

life?

–

–

–

.

.

.

How

.

m

a

n

y

.

more

.

t

i

m

e

s

.

before . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

–

–

–

learn

.

t

o

.

savor

.

t

h

e

.

wine,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

tightly

–

–

grip

.

t

h

e

.

vine?

–

–

–

.

.

.

How

.

m

a

n

y

.

more

times?

–

–

–

.

.

.

How

.

m

a

n

y

.

more

times?

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

remember

.

w

h

e

n

.

our

days

.

w

e

r

e

.

new . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ when

.

t

h

e

.

skies

.

w

e

r

e

.

bold

.

a

n

d

.

burning

blue . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

wide

.

a

n

d

.

high

–

–

across

.

t

h

e

.

days

.

a

n

d

.

nights . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

pride

.

a

n

d

.

promise

–

–

burned

bright

–

–

within

.

o

u

r

.

eyes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ pride

.

a

n

d

.

promise

–

–

burned

bright

–

–

within

.

o

u

r

.

eyes . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

shined

warming

.

r

a

y

s

.

of

sunlight

.

u

p

o

n

.

all

.

a

n

d

.

everything

.

w

h

i

c

h

.

might . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

way

.

b

a

c

k

.

then,

.

w

h

e

n

.

worries

.

w

e

r

e

.

few . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

there

.

w

a

s

.

nothing

much

.

t

o

.

lose . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ there

.

w

a

s

.

nothing

much

.

t

o

.

lose,

.

i

n

.

the

days

.

o

f

.

me

.

a

n

d

.

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ way

.

b

a

c

k

.

then,

.

w

h

e

n

.

everyone

said

.

w

e

.

moved

.

t

o

o

.

soon . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ we

moved

.

t

o

o

.

soon . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

me

.

a

n

d

.

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

moved

.

t

o

o

.

soon . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

moved

.

t

o

o

.

soon . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

moved

.

t

o

o

.

soon . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

me

.

a

n

d

.

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

perhaps

.

i

t

.

was

–

–

all

.

t

o

o

.

true,

–

–

within

.

t

h

o

s

e

.

spinning

rooms,

.

.

o

f

.

.

flickering

hues

.

a

n

d

.

margarita

moons . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ perhaps

.

i

t

.

was

–

–

all

.

t

o

o

.

true . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

there

.

w

a

s

.

nothing

else

.

I

.

could

do . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

no

.

o

n

e

.

else

.

I

.

could

pursue . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ you

were

.

s

o

.

beautiful

.

i

n

.

your

youth.

Reflection: This was a forgotten but important romantic-themed poem I wrote back in December of 2018 in loving appreciation and memory of those special, wonderful people that I got to share such pleasant (and sometimes very passionate) times with. They added such warmth, color, beauty, and music to my life and to the living collage that is me – and today I am the result of all of those contributing parts and pieces (and more). And I cherish and appreciate each and every one of them.

So, yes, I’ve had some fun times and adventure in my life. 🙂

☆°▪︎ GONE AND FOREVER LOST ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

You

.

a

r

e

.

just

.

a

.

silhouette

.

i

n

.

the

fog . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

r

o

m

–

–

–

those

days,

–

–

when

days

–

–

were

l—o—n—g . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ a

silhouette

.

i

n

.

the

fog,

–

–

that

once

–

–

danced

across

.

t

h

e

.

pages

.

o

f

.

journal

entry

songs . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ the

journal

–

–

entry

songs

.

o

f

.

you’s

.

a

n

d

.

me’s . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

carelessly

crumpled,

–

–

torn,

.

a

n

d

.

tossed . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

.

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ yes,

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

my

days

.

a

r

e

.

dark,

.

a

n

d

.

filled

with

.

t

h

e

.

grays

.

o

f

.

your

once

–

–

warming

rays . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ your

once

–

–

warming

rays . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

shivering

.

i

n

.

the

shade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

shivering

.

i

n

.

the

shade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

s

.

.

.

the

final

trace

.

o

f

.

memories

fade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ as

.

t

h

e

.

final

trace

.

o

f

.

memories

fade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

still

today . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ yes,

still

today . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

would

love

.

t

o

.

find

a

way

.

t

o

.

communicate . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

l

l

.

.

.

of

.

m

y

.

sorrow

.

f

o

r

.

the

shame . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

tell

.

o

f

.

all

.

t

h

e

.

ways,

–

–

I

would

make

.

y

o

u

.

smile

again . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

.

you

.

a

r

e

.

just

a

silhouette

.

i

n

.

the

fog . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ a

silhouette

.

i

n

.

the

fog . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

all

.

o

f

.

those

years,

–

–

now

.

h

a

v

e

.

gone . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

~ all

.

o

f

.

those

years,

–

–

now

.

h

a

v

e

.

gone . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

are

forever

lost.

Reflection:

This poem largely reflects the regret of having ignored someone or not treated him/her as well as we could have in the distant past. Looking back, we feel the person could have been a much larger, brighter part of our lives but the distance and the barriers now seem far too great to overcome.

This poem was inspired by the Moody Blues song, “Watching and Waiting.” I played this song repeatedly in the background at low volume to create the “moodset” for the poem. If you listen to the song at low volume while reading this poem, you might better get the “feel” of it.

☆°▪︎ NO ONE, NOTHING, AND NOWHERE ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

It

was

.

t

h

e

. 

tumble

.

before

.

t

h

e

.

fall . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

.

g

r

a

y

.

before

.

t

h

e

.

dawn

.

o

f

.

awakening . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

awakening

.

t

o

. 

this,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

all,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

everything . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

h

a

d

.

done

.

t

o

.

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

t

o

–

–

–

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

to

everyone . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

w

h

o

–

–

–

might

.

h

a

v

e

.

lived,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

laughed,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

loved . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

there

.

w

a

s

.

no

one,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

nothing

there . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

n

o

t

–

–

–

even

.

a

.

shred

.

t

o

.

share . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

I

.

h

a

d

.

gone

.

f

a

r

.

beyond

.

t

h

e

.

reaches

.

o

f

.

despair . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ far

beyond

.

t

h

e

.

beaches

.

o

f

.

the

thousand

.

y

a

r

d

.

stare . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ far

beyond

.

t

h

e

.

valleys

where

.

n

o

.

one

dared . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

far

beyond . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

far

beyond . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

far

beyond . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

– 

no

.

o

n

e

.

cared.

Reflection: This was a forgotten personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in December of 2018 where the contemplator looks back with regret on a life where he/she created distance and largely lived in isolation – and wakes up to a loneliness and despair which is far beyond repair. He/she lives the remaining days of life haunted by the painful strings of memories of everything he/she had done to arrive in that place and state. I played the wonderful, haunting gem of a song “Tuesday Afternoon” by The Moody Blues in the background to create the “moodset” for the poem. If you listen to the song at low volume while reading this poem, you might better get the “feel” of it.

☆°▪︎ WHAT ONCE WAS TRUE ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

There

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

time

.

o

f

.

types,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

divides,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

ways

.

t

o

.

decide:

–

–

–

.

.

.

This

one

.

t

o

o

.

tall . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

this

one

.

t

o

o

.

small . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

This

one

.

t

o

o

.

new . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

this

one

.

j

u

s

t

.

plain

too . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Yes,

.

t

h

e

r

e

.

once

.

w

a

s

.

a

.

time

.

o

f

.

types,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

divides,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

ways

.

t

o

.

decide

which

.

a

l

l

.

went

away . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ which

.

a

l

l

.

went

.

a

w

a

y

.

when

.

y

o

u

.

arrived

today . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

even

though

.

I

.

could

clearly

.

s

e

e

.

you

were:

–

–

–

.

.

.

too

tall . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

too

small . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

too

new . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

just

.

p

l

a

i

n

.

too . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

even

in

.

t

h

a

t

.

crowded

room,

.

.

t

h

e

r

e

.

.

was

.

n

o

.

one

.

b

u

t

.

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ there

.

w

a

s

.

no

one

.

b

u

t

.

you

.

a

n

d

.

I

.

all

.

t

h

e

.

while,

–

–

building

.

t

h

e

.

bonfire . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ building

.

t

h

e

.

bonfire,

–

–

higher

.

a

n

d

.

higher . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

higher

.

a

n

d

.

higher . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

higher

.

a

n

d

.

higher . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

i

n

t

o

.

a

.

racing,

.

raging

.

forest

fire . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

breaking

out

.

i

n

.

the

wide

.

open

wild . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

consuming

.

a

l

l

.

that

used

.

t

o

.

be

true . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ consuming

.

a

l

l

.

that

used

.

t

o

.

be

too . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ for

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

there

.

i

s

.

only

you . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

There

.

i

s

.

only

you

.

a

n

d

.

I,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

the

moon

.

o

f

.

June . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ a

moon

.

o

f

.

June

.

i

n

.

full

bloom.

Reflection: This was a forgotten romantic-themed poem that I wrote back in November of 2018 where a typically picky and selective romancer finds there can be lust, love, and romance with someone outside of one’s perceived or self-prescribed preferences.

☆°▪︎ THE OUTCAST ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I

cried

today

.

w

h

e

n

.

I

.

saw

.

y

o

u

r

.

face . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

no

matter

.

h

o

w

.

much

.

I

.

say,

.

.

o

r

.

.

how

many

ways

.

I

.

hate

.

a

n

d

.

berate

myself,

.

.

t

h

e

.

.

haunting

remains . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

haunting

remains . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

never

.

g

o

e

s

.

away . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

the

.

o

n

l

y

.

escape

.

i

s

.

to

fade

–

–

the

pain,

–

–

the

guilt,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

the

shame . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

simply

.

g

o

.

away . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ go

away,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

erase

.

t

h

e

.

name . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Sometimes

I

wait

.

a

n

d

.

hope

.

f

o

r

.

warmer,

–

–

brighter

days . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

wait

.

a

n

d

.

hope

.

f

o

r

.

warmer,

–

–

brighter

days . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

it

.

i

s

.

just

.

a

.

wait . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ just

. 

a

.

short

.

a

n

d

.

gray,

–

–

somber

delay,

–

–

until

.

I

.

see

.

y

o

u

r

.

face

again . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ until

.

I

.

see

.

y

o

u

r

.

face

again . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

the

.

o

n

l

y

.

escape

.

i

s

.

to

fade

.

t

h

e

.

pain . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

go

away . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

.

o

n

l

y

.

escape

.

i

s

.

to

fade

.

t

h

e

.

pain . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

go

away . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

.

I

.

w

i

l

l

.

see

.

y

o

u

r

.

face . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

.

w

i

l

l

.

see

.

t

h

a

t

.

bitter,

–

–

unforgiving

face . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

again,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

again,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

again,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

again,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

again . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

t

h

e

.

day . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ until

.

t

h

e

.

day . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

it

ends

.

t

h

i

s

.

way.

Reflection: This was a forgotten but powerful personal struggle-themed poem I wrote back in November of 2018 where the affected party is haunted by and cannot escape the guilt and shame experienced in the past. This is one of the few poems I have written that was inspired by a movie. This one was inspired by the moving, powerful movie: “In Bruges.”

HAPPINESS TIP: ON THOSE NOT SO POSITIVE DAYS, FOCUS ON HOW YOU MOST WANT TO FEEL AND THEN OFFER THAT TO OTHERS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

Here’s a happiness tip on getting yourself into a positive place on those not so positive days:

There might be times in life when you are not feeling your best. A good thing to do, when this happens, is closing your eyes and – instead of focusing on how unhappy you presently feel – asking yourself how you might most want to feel and focusing on that. Many people, in these situations, do the opposite by focusing on the very negative thoughts and feelings they are seeking to moderate and overcome. It can be extremely difficult to move in a positive direction with so much attention focused on the negative. So, instead focus on how you most want to feel and take actions to gently move in this direction.

For example, if you feel lonely then you might most desire to experience feelings of love and appreciation. So, instead of focusing on your loneliness, focus on love and appreciation and steps you might take to gently move in this direction. A wonderful way to do this is offering what you most want to others. So, if you most want to escape your loneliness, then make someone else feel less lonely. And if you most want to experience love and appreciation, then offer love and appreciation to others. You will be amazed at how much love and appreciation comes back to you when you do this. Anytime we graciously and selflessly give to others that which we want for ourselves, it comes back to us in overwhelming abundance. So, do this often in your life.

And keep in mind that you can perform this process not only with people but with pets as well. So, don’t forget about your furry friends when doing this.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness #relationships

HAPPINESS TIP: FOCUS ON CONTRIBUTIONS INSTEAD OF RESULTS

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

In such a “results and outcomes” focused society, it can be easy to feel over-burdened and unhappy at times. However, if you focus solely on, and allow yourself to be happy with, your contributions instead of on results and outcomes you will feel much better about your life and about yourself. We do not control results and outcomes. We only control our contributions.

Many things in life happen the way they do no matter what we do or how much we give. So, get in the practice of detaching from results and outcomes. Just do your best – whatever your best might be at the time given everything you have going on in your life and how you are feeling at the time – and be content with that. It’s the best you can do and you can feel good about that. Don’t worry so much about what you cannot control. Just do your part. That’s all you can ask of yourself (and others).

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

#selfimprovement #selfhelp #selfdevelopment #intention #fulfillment #success #inspiration #happiness

☆°▪︎ FAST FORWARD ▪︎°☆

Posted on by Joseph M. Brennan Jr.

I

remember

.

t

h

e

.

time,

.

.

w

h

e

n

.

.

all

.

w

e

.

had . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

all

.

w

e

.

desired . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

when

all

.

w

e

.

needed . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

w

a

s

–

–

–

you

.

a

n

d

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

.

w

h

e

n

.

every

roll

.

o

f

.

the

dice

–

–

seemed

right . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ back

.

w

h

e

n

.

every

night

–

–
would

arrive

.

w

i

t

h

.

a

.

higher,

–

–
brighter

high . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

b

u

t

–

–

–

as

.

t

h

e

.

miles

.

o

f

.

months

.

a

n

d

.

years

–

–

rolled

by . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

the

youth

. 

a

n

d

.

magic

–

–

began

.

t

o

.

dim

.

a

n

d

.

die . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

we

awoke

.

t

o

.

realize,

–

–

there

.

i

s

.

only

you

.

a

n

d

.

I . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ there

.

i

s

.

only

.

t

h

e

.

you

.

a

n

d

.

I

.

who

.

h

a

d

.

such

.

a

.

beautiful

time . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ who

.

h

a

d

.

such

.

a

.

beautiful

time,

.

.

i

n

.

.

the

dimming,

–

–

dying

. 

d

a

y

s

.

gone

by.

Reflection: This was a forgotten romantic-themed poem I wrote back in November of 2018 where the contemplator looks back on a dimming, dying romance that was once so passionate and vibrant in the days of youth – and comes to realize that the person he or she is with is no longer enough. This is one of the few poems I have written over the years that was inspired by a movie. This one was inspired by the wonderful movie: “Blue Valentine.”