Here’s a quick and easy way to evaluate your present romantic relationship:

Consider the romantic relationships of others you have known throughout your entire life. They can be those that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. Select the one you consider to be the best or most positive relationship out of all of these. Assign a value of 10 to this.

Next consider the most positive periods of relationships you’ve had in the past. Again these can be relationships that were in the marriage stage, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, or the dating stage. You do not want to consider the entire relationships (since they are now over), but the most positive periods of each. Following this, select what you consider to be the most positive period out of all of these past relationships. On a scale of 1-10, assign a score to the most positive period you selected with the understanding that a score of 10 represents the most positive relationship, throughout your entire life, of someone you’ve known (as performed in the previous paragraph). For illustration purposes, let’s assume that you assign a value of 7 to this.

Lastly, consider how your present relationship compares to the most positive period of the relationship above (i.e., how much better or worse is your present relationship with respect to the one you might have assigned a “7” to in the previous paragraph). If your present relationship is better than the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value between 7 and 10 depending on how your present relationship relates to the conditions in the previous paragraphs above associated with the scores of 7 and 10.  If your present relationship is not as good as the most positive period of one of your past relationships then you would assign a value below 7 depending on how much worse the present relationship relates to the condition in the previous paragraph above associated with the score of 7.

Assessing your romantic relationships in the above fashion can be helpful because: 1) if it scores highly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to become more appreciative towards your present relationship and motivate you to express that appreciation more often and in multiple ways, 2) if it scores moderately on the 1-10 scale it can cause you to reflect on the more positive relationships (or the more positive periods in your past relationships) and motivate you to take  steps to improve your present relationship, and 3) if it scores poorly on the 1-10 scale it can allow you to take steps to remove yourself from the relationship so that you can be available to find one that is more positive.

The above process can also be helpful to perform when faced with major life decisions with respect to romantic relationships. For example, if you are faced with the prospect of marriage or perhaps moving to another city so you can be with your romantic partner, then this can help you to quickly determine whether or not it might be something worthwhile to seriously consider.

Each of these are wonderful ways in which performing this assessment can be helpful. So make sure that you do this from time to time in your life.

This and other happiness and self-improvement related tips are provided throughout my self-help oriented books: https://brighterdayslifecoaching.com/published-books-and-life-coaching-services/ 

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