I
.
c
a
n
.
never
seem
,
t
o
.
control
.
t
h
e
.
yearn,
.
.
f
o
r
.
.
whenever
.
I
.
f
e
e
l
.
even
.
t
h
e
.
slightest
urge . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
scratch
.
i
t
.
until
.
i
t
.
burns . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
~ I
scratch
.
i
t
.
until
.
i
t
.
burns . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
.
o
n
l
y
.
need . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
.
o
n
l
y
.
need . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
enough
.
t
o
.
gain
release . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
enough
.
t
o
.
bring
.
m
e
.
peace . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
enough
.
t
o
.
ease
.
t
h
e
.
yearnings
.
t
h
a
t
.
tease . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
~ enough
.
t
o
.
ease
.
t
h
e
.
yearnings
.
t
h
a
t
.
tease . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Five
.
d
a
y
s
.
later,
.
.
I
.
.
cannot
.
f
i
n
d
.
my
place . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Five
.
d
a
y
s
.
later,
.
.
I
.
.
cannot
place
.
m
y
.
shame . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Five
.
d
a
y
s
.
later . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Five
.
d
a
y
s
.
later . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Five
.
d
a
y
s
.
later . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Five
.
d
a
y
s
.
later . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Five
.
d
a
y
s
.
later . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Can
.
y
o
u
.
please
.
t
e
l
l
.
me,
.
.
w
h
a
t
.
.
I’m
supposed
.
t
o
.
believe . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
who
.
I’m
.
supposed
.
t
o
.
be . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
how
.
I’m
.
supposed
.
t
o
.
feel . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
o
n
.
a
.
good
.
day ?
–
–
–
.
.
.
f
o
r
–
–
–
it
.
s
e
e
m
s
.
I
.
haven’t
.
h
a
d
.
one
.
i
n
.
weeks . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
months . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
o
r
–
–
–
even
years . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Have
.
I
.
become
.
l
o
s
t
.
again,
.
.
m
y
.
.
wayward
friend ?
–
–
–
.
.
.
f
o
r
.
it
.
s
e
e
m
s
.
today
could
.
b
e
.
the
end . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
~ yes,
.
today
could
.
b
e
.
the
end . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
s
o
–
–
–
please
.
s
i
n
g
.
another
prayer
.
f
o
r
.
me . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
f
o
r
–
–
–
upon
.
t
h
e
.
appeasing
ease
.
o
f
.
summer’s
breeze,
.
.
I
.
c
a
n
.
hear
.
t
h
e
.
emergency
.
sirens
.
s-c-r-e-a-m . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
.
c
a
n
.
hear
.
t
h
e
.
emergency
.
sirens
.
s-c-r-e-a-m . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
.
c
a
n
.
hear
.
t
h
e
.
emergency
.
sirens
.
s-c-r-e-a-m . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
.
c
a
n
.
hear
.
t
h
e
.
emergency
.
sirens
.
s-c-r-e-a-m . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
(for me)
.
.
.
.
.
Spin
.
m
e
.
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Spin
.
m
e
.
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Spin
.
m
e
.
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
f
o
r
.
.
.
I
.
l
i
v
e
.
inside
.
a
.
carnival . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
although
.
I
.
know
.
m
y
.
world
.
w
i
l
l
.
forever
.
s
w
i
n
g
.
from:
low . . .to. . . high . . . to. . . low
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
can’t
.
l
e
t
.
go . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
~ I
.
j
u
s
t
.
can’t
.
l
e
t
.
go . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
s
o
–
–
–
I
.
o
n
l
y
.
need . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
I
.
o
n
l
y
.
need . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
enough
.
t
o
.
gain
release . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
enough
.
t
o
.
bring
.
m
e
.
peace . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
enough
.
t
o
.
ease
.
t
h
e
.
yearnings
.
t
h
a
t
.
tease . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Spin
.
m
e
.
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Spin
.
m
e
.
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
Spin
.
m
e
.
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
a
n
d
–
–
–
’round . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
until
.
t
h
e
.
tornadoes
.
t
o
u
c
h
.
down . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
until
.
everything
.
splinters
.
i
n
t
o
.
the
ground . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
until
memory
.
becomes
lost
.
a
n
d
.
never
found . . .
–
–
–
.
.
.
spin
.
m
e
.
’round.
Reflection: This was a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in August of 2001 where the affected party cannot resist or overcome the temptations, addictions, and compulsions that surround him or her – and ends up repeatedly waking up from his/her binges to chaos, darkness, confusion, and clutter. Good days happen at times but become increasingly rare – leading to additional binges in the attempt to temporarily escape the pain, chaos, and darkness. It becomes a lifelong, all-consuming struggle – and it seems the affected party will never be able to escape the forces of temptation, addiction, and compulsion. The struggle can represent any form of temptation, addiction, or compulsion: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, obsessions, etc.