I

.

c

a

n

.

never

.

seem

,

t

o

.

control

.

t

h

e

.

yearn,

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

whenever

.

I

.

f

e

e

l

.

even

.

t

h

e

.

slightest

.

urge . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

scratch

.

i

t

.

until

.

i

t

.

burns . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

scratch

.

i

t

.

until

.

i

t

.

burns . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

o

n

l

y

.

need . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

o

n

l

y

.

need . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

enough

.

t

o

.

gain

.

release . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

enough

.

t

o

.

bring

.

m

e

.

peace . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

enough

.

t

o

.

ease

.

t

h

e

.

yearnings

.

t

h

a

t

.

tease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ enough

.

t

o

.

ease

.

t

h

e

.

yearnings

.

t

h

a

t

.

tease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Five

.

d

a

y

s

.

later,

.

.

I

.

.

cannot

.

f

i

n

d

.

my

.

place . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Five

.

d

a

y

s

.

later,

.

.

I

.

.

cannot

.

place

.

m

y

.

shame . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Five

.

d

a

y

s

.

later . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Five

.

d

a

y

s

.

later . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Five

.

d

a

y

s

.

later . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Five

.

d

a

y

s

.

later . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Five

.

d

a

y

s

.

later . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Can

.

y

o

u

.

please

.

t

e

l

l

.

me,

.

.

w

h

a

t

.

I’m

.

supposed

.

t

o

.

believe . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

w

h

o

–

–

–

I’m

.

supposed

.

t

o

.

be . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

how

.

I’m

.

supposed

.

t

o

.

feel . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

n

.

a

.

good

.

day ?

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

it

.

s

e

e

m

s

.

I

.

haven’t

.

h

a

d

.

one

.

i

n

.

weeks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

months . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

o

r

–

–

–

even

.

years . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Have

.

I

.

become

.

l

o

s

t

.

again,

.

m

y

.

wayward

.

friend ?

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

.

it

.

s

e

e

m

s

.

today

.

could

.

b

e

.

the

.

end . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

today

.

could

.

b

e

.

the

.

end . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

please

.

s

i

n

g

.

another

.

prayer

.

f

o

r

.

me . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

upon

.

t

h

e

.

appeasing

.

ease

.

o

f

.

summer’s

.

breeze,

.

.

I

.

c

a

n

.

hear

.

.

emergency

.

vehicles

.

s-c-r-e-a-m . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

c

a

n

.

hear

.

.

emergency

.

vehicles

.

s-c-r-e-a-m . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

c

a

n

.

hear

.

.

emergency

.

vehicles

.

s-c-r-e-a-m . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

c

a

n

.

hear

.

.

emergency

.

vehicles

.

s-c-r-e-a-m . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

(for me)

.

.

.

.

.

Spin

.

m

e

.

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Spin

.

m

e

.

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Spin

.

m

e

.

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

.

.

.

I

.

l

i

v

e

.

inside

.

a

.

carnival . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

although

.

I

.

know

.

m

y

.

world

.

w

i

l

l

.

forever

.

s

w

i

n

g

.

from:

 _{low . . .}to^{. . . high . . .} to_{. . . low}

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

can’t

.

l

e

t

.

go . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

.

j

u

s

t

.

can’t

.

l

e

t

.

go . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

s

o

–

–

–

I

.

o

n

l

y

.

need . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

I

.

o

n

l

y

.

need . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

enough

.

t

o

.

gain

.

release . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

enough

.

t

o

.

bring

.

m

e

.

peace . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

enough

.

t

o

.

ease

.

t

h

e

.

yearnings

.

t

h

a

t

.

tease . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Spin

.

m

e

.

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Spin

.

m

e

.

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Spin

.

m

e

.

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

’round . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

t

h

e

.

tornadoes

.

begin

.

t

o

.

touch

.

down . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

everything

.

splinters

.

i

n

t

o

.

the

.

ground . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

until

.

memory

.

.

becomes

.

lost,

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

never

.

found . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

spin

.

m

e

.

’round.

Reflection: This was a personal struggle-themed poem that I wrote back in August of 2001 where the affected party cannot resist or overcome the temptations, addictions, and compulsions that surround him or her – and ends up repeatedly waking up from his/her binges to chaos, darkness, confusion, and clutter. Good days happen at times but become increasingly rare – leading to additional binges in the attempt to temporarily escape the pain, chaos, and darkness. It becomes a lifelong, all-consuming struggle – and it seems the affected party will never be able to escape the forces of temptation, addiction, and compulsion. The struggle can represent any form of temptation, addiction, or compulsion: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, obsessions, etc.