First

with

.

t

h

e

.

thirst,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

last

with

.

t

h

e

.

crash . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

w

e

.

.

.

were

lost

.

i

n

.

the

lack,

.

w

i

t

h

.

no

turning

back . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ we

.

w

e

r

e

.

lost

.

i

n

.

the

lack,

.

w

i

t

h

.

no

turning

back . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

So

high

.

o

n

.

the

blast . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

So

afraid

.

i

t

.

would

.

n

o

t

.

last . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

that

day,

–

–

after

night,

–

–

after

day . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

we

raced . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

raced . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

raced . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

We

raced . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

along

.

t

h

o

s

e

.

tracks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

hot,

.

a

n

d

.

hard,

.

a

n

d

.

fast,

.

a

n

d

.

far . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

clickety

clack,

–

–

clickety

clack,

–

–

all

along

–

–

those

tracks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

clickety

clack,

–

–

clickety

clack,

–

–

further,

–

–

deeper

.

i

n

t

o

.

the

black . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

w

i

t

h

–

–

–

all

.

t

h

e

.

sins,

–

–

vices,

.

a

n

d

.

excesses

–

–

we’ve

had,

.

.

I

.

.

w

a

s

.

thinking

.

w

e

.

might

.

t

u

r

n

.

back . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ I

.

w

a

s

.

hoping

.

w

e

.

might

.

t

u

r

n

.

back . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

instead

.

o

f

.

waking

again,

.

n

o

t

.

knowing

where

–

–

we’re

at,

–

–

lost

.

a

n

d

.

alone,

.

a

n

d

.

sinking

.

i

n

.

the

lack . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ sinking

.

i

n

.

the

lack . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

f

a

l

l

i

n

g

.

.

.

through

.

t

h

e

.

cracks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

sinking

.

i

n

.

the

lack . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

.

.

.

f

a

l

l

i

n

g

.

.

.

through

.

t

h

e

.

cracks . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ sinking

.

i

n

.

the

lack . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

not

turning

back . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ not

turning

back

.

t

o

.

all

.

a

n

d

.

that,

–

–

which

smiled

.

i

n

.

the

past . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ not

turning

back

.

t

o

.

all

.

a

n

d

.

that,

.

a

n

d

.

the

warmth

.

o

n

c

e

.

had . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Not

turning

back . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

Not

turning

back . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

s

–

–

–

those

youthful

.

d

a

y

s

.

begin

.

t

o

.

age

.

a

n

d

.

shade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

age

.

a

n

d

.

shade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

age

.

a

n

d

.

shade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

They

age

.

a

n

d

.

shade . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

gray . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

nothing

feels

.

s

o

.

bad . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

so

empty . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

so

sad . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

s

–

–

–

that,

–

–

when

.

a

l

l

.

which

blossomed

–

–

dies

.

i

n

.

the

past . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ looking

back

.

t

o

.

all

.

o

n

c

e

.

had . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

nothing

feels

.

s

o

.

bad

.

t

h

a

n

.

looking

back

.

t

o

.

all

.

o

n

c

e

.

had . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ looking

back

.

t

o

.

all

.

o

n

c

e

.

had

.

i

n

.

that

dimming,

–

–

dying

past,

–

–

when

.

w

e

.

came

.

o

n

.

too

hot . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

too

hard . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

too

far . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

too

fast . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ riding

high

.

o

n

.

that

blast . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ riding

high

.

o

n

.

that

blast . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

First

with

.

t

h

e

.

thirst,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

last

with

.

t

h

e

.

crash . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

First

with

.

t

h

e

.

thirst,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

last

with

.

t

h

e

.

crash . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

First

with

.

t

h

e

.

thirst,

.

.

b

u

t

.

.

last

with

.

t

h

e

.

crash . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

last

.

w

i

t

h

.

the

crash,

–

–

aged

faces

aghast . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ aged

faces

aghast

–

–

against

.

t

h

e

.

glass . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

f

o

r

–

–

–

alas . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

alas . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

every

passing

warm,

.

a

n

d

.

glossy

flash

.

f

a

l

l

s

.

flat . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

turns

bland

.

a

n

d

.

black . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

It

turns

bland

.

a

n

d

.

black . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ the

blast

–

–

standing

.

a

t

.

half-mast . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

a

n

d

–

–

–

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

 ~ yes,

now . . .

–

–

–

.

.

. 

a

t

–

–

–

last . . .

–

–

–

.

.

.

clickety

clack,

–

–

clickety

clack,

–

–

there’s

.

n

o

.

turning

back.

Reflection: This was a forgotten but moving personal struggle-themed poem I wrote back in September of 2019 as a warning to be cautious when engaging in vices and excesses which might end up consuming a life. So many people start out experimenting, being adventurous, and having “fun,” only to find themselves immersed and trapped in a darkness they can never escape. I played the wonderful acoustic version of the song “Cowgirl in the Sand” by Neil Young (from the “Four Way Street” album) in the background to create the “moodset” for the poem. If you listen to the song at low volume while reading this poem, you might better get the “feel” of it.

This poem was initially born from a favorite lyric: “after all the sin we’ve had, I was hoping that we’d turn bad” from the Neil Young song: “Cowgirl in the Sand” – which I changed to “with all the sins, vices, and excesses we’ve had, I was thinking we might turn back.” The rest of the poem pretty much wrote itself from that starting point.